It was time for the last meal of the day. The Smashers all took their seats at their table in the dining room. There was a table for every friend circle: your villains, your kids, your token chicks and your big eaters. Kirby, Wario and Yoshi made up the latter clique, and were texting each other while they waited for their meal. It may seem weird to use phones to converse with people in the same room, but why should Yoshi be excluded just because he can't speak?
You will never guess what those villainous types were talking about today, the dinosaur sent to the other two.
I wish you wouldn't call them that, Wario replied. I don't like to be lumped in with those four.
Regardless, Yoshi continued, filing the moustached man's comment as irrelevant, they're planning to jump the fence tonight.
y? Kirby's question was short, yet valid.
Apparently there's this void outside of the grounds that they want to check out. I think Master Hand would like to know about that.
They're going to kill you, Wario warned.
Who said I was actually going to tell him? the dinosaur revealed. I'm going to use this information as blackmail.
wat would they have 2 offer? Another question came from the pink one's phone.
You know that jacuzzi they spend every free minute in?
Everyone at the table nodded in approval. No more needed to be said.
Yoshi's thumbs flew across his Blackberry as he composed a text. When the big eaters didn't feel any vibration from their phones, they looked over to the villains' table. Wolf was the first to react to the message, pulling Bowser and Ganondorf into a huddle. When the huddle dispersed, Ganondorf texted back to the dinosaur.
As said dinosaur read the reply, his smug smirk grew ever so slightly. Gentlemen, his phone said to those of Kirby and Wario, you are now looking at the fourth Spa Dweller.
"What." Yoshi's friends didn't know whether to be more confused by him calling the villains Spa Dwellers, or the fact that he now was one.
Yes, that's what I'm calling them, Yoshi confirmed in his next text. You didn't want me to call them the villains, did you, Wario?
But why didn't they threaten you with disembowelment? Wario answered with a marginally related question.
Yoshi flashed back to a few hours ago, when he tossed Toon Link into the Spa Dwellers' spa.
Wario, I honestly have no idea, came the reply.
Olimar, Fox, Falco and Sonic stared at the big eaters hunched over cell phone screens.
"You know, maybe we should take a leaf out of their book." Fox suggested, feeling his mobile vibrate in his pocket.
Falco had texted him a message that read: Already on it, Fox.
Anyway, Olimar sent to the other three at the table, how about we discuss that void?
What void? Sonic was the only one at the table yet to make the leap.
Go to the mansion gate at night, Falco joked. There's got to be at least one dude getting out.
I think I have a theory as to what the void might be, Fox mused. What if this place was a simulation?
Explain yourself, big thinker, Sonic ordered.
Well, you know how when you leap off the edge into the void you wake up covered in wires?
No I don't, I haven't done that yet, the hedgehog defended.
What if those wires led to a central computer mainframe which processed the reality we are currently in? Fox ignored the fastest thing alive.
That's actually a very credible theory, Fox. Falco congratulated his ally's thinking. I'm surprised we didn't jump to that conclusion, to be honest.
So we're living in a virtual reality, Olimar summarised. The new question here, then, is why we're being kept in VR in the first place.
That's something I'm not so sure about, Fox admitted. Whatever the reason, I doubt it will make much sense.
"Enough talk; the food's here!" Sonic had put away his mobile and proceeded to demolish a plate of chili dogs.
"So Sonic, you going to leap off the edge of the world tonight?" Fox asked, realising that Sonic probably wasn't paying attention to his cell anymore.
Sonic looked at Fox with confusion and curiosity, but not for long enough that he stopped eating his dinner.
"Okay, I'll send you an email explaining things later," the vulpine shrugged.
"Well, I've got to eat in my room, so I'll see you tonight?" Olimar planned. "If you're going to see the void again, of course."
"Meh, not like there's much else to do," Sonic stated now that he finished his dinner already.
"Sonic, your speed never ceases to amaze me," the astronaut chuckled, collecting his meal and taking it to a place where he could actually eat it. On his way out, Olimar ran into Lucas, who was also leaving the room. "Hey Lucas, where are you going? A kid like you can't have finished his meal already."
"Oh, I wasn't very hungry," Lucas defended. "I think I'm going to go to bed early."
"Well, sleep is important too. Hey, your room's on the way to mine! We could walk together and talk for a while-"
"No, please don't!" The psychic stuck out his arms in protest. "I can walk alone. You go on ahead."
"If you insist, Lucas. I don't mind going by myself," Olimar smiled. "Although I was looking forward to hearing how your day's been." Lucas watched the Pikmin herder stroll down the hallway to his bedroom. The young boy crept out of the dining room and rushed off in the wrong direction.
Wrong, that is, if one assumed Lucas was going to bed. The blonde's true destination was the living quarters of the mansion landlord and guardian.
The void towered over a large party of smashers, glowing white with the brightness of a thousand suns but never casting light on solid ground. The group stood at the end of the road, awestruck by the impossible sight they stared at.
"What a turnout, folks," Wolf cheered, slowly clapping at the party's bravery. "Not one, not two, but FIVE people are here to take the leap for the first time!"
"Say what?" Sonic protested.
He, along with Bowser, Ganondorf, Yoshi and Toon Link, presumed that there would be no leaping involved. Even while Olimar explained how safe it was they could not help to be afraid of casting themselves into a realm of nothing.
When the astronaut finished describing the "real" world beyond the void, there was nothing else said for quite some time. Toon's lips wobbled and Sonic restlessly tapped his foot on the rough path, but aside from that there was no sound or movement from anyone.
"So are you going to jump off?" Wolf suggested.
"Are you insane?" Toon Link and Sonic cried out. Clearly, the hedgehog didn't get Fox's email.
"I just told you it's not going to kill you," Olimar sighed, frustrated at being ignored. "It's actually kind of fun and I would recommend you make the leap."
"Why do we want to do this…?" Toon stammered, shuffling up to the edge regardless. The young boy looked down, seeing the void engulf not just what was in front, but also what was below.
"Because you want irrefutable evidence that this mansion is just a simulation, remember?"
"I don't think I really want-" The hero felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He had gotten a text from Yoshi.
Hurry up and jump already, it read.
Toon Link didn't have time to think about that message, because Yoshi kicked him into the void. His bloodcurling scream got softer and softer as he fell further and further, until no trace of him was left.
"You know, Yoshi," Ganondorf chuckled, patting Yoshi on the head, "I think you just earned your place with us." The Gerudo King failed to notice the dinosaur's eyes getting narrower with annoyance every successive pat. At least, not until he was thrown after his nemesis by Yoshi's surprisingly strong arms.
I am not a pet! Yoshi's thought process at that point was nothing more than that sentence looped over and over. He clenched his fists tightly and breathed loudly and heavily.
"Uh, Yoshi, you don't have to take the leap if you don't want to," Wolf laughed nervously, slowly backing away from the terrifying green monster.
Yoshi rolled his eyes and sent a text to Wolf.
I, unlike Toon, actually listen to conversations that are within earshot, the message read.
When the canine looked up from his mobile screen, Yoshi was gone. "Did he take the-"
"Yes, Wolf, he did," Olimar confirmed.
Sonic was staring wide-eyed at the edge where his friends leapt off. So far, he and Bowser were the only two left to jump. "Bowser, please tell me you're not as dumb as those other three."
"I can tell you I'm not dumber," the Koopa shrugged, putting his hands together and diving into the light.
The blue speedster was the only one left who hadn't seen the world outside, and the other two that did cast their eyes on him expectantly.
"So are you going to do it?" Wolf asked.
"You mean kill myself? No, I'm not an idiot."
"Mario would do it."
"That's because he's an idiot."
"No," Olimar corrected, "he'd do it because he's braver than you."
Sonic was not there anymore.
"Where did he go…"
"The void," Wolf guessed.
A second later, the Arwing pilot was proved wrong when Sonic dumped Mario at his feet.
The plumber rose from his slumber clutching his head and shivering. "What do you all want?" he groaned, still sleepy. He turned his gaze to the void. "I don't know this place... Are we out of bounds?"
"Mario, shut up and try not to focus on the rules for one second," Wolf demanded. "There's an impossible sight right in front of you!"
The moustachioed man was too tired for his brain to function at perfect capacity, so he simply nodded at the wall of light.
"Anyway, Mario," Olimar explained, "If you leap into this here void, you'll wake up in the real world. Do you want to see this real world?"
Mario would have turned and fled if he were actually awake, but in his state of almost-sleep, he obeyed Olimar as if the order came from his own brain, shuffling off the edge of the world. Sonic's jaw dropped lower than it should have been able to.
"Well, Sonic, are you as brave as your rival?" Wolf questioned.
The blue blur answered this question by somersaulting into the void.
"I think that makes…" Olimar counted with the fingers of his glove, "ten smashers who've leapt into the void in three days. Good job, Wolf."
"I see I'm not the only showoff here," Wolf laughed regarding Sonic, as he walked back to the mansion with Olimar following behind him.
(Sir, six more patients have awakened.)
(So have Patient Ori and the Star Fox representatives invited two more patients to reality?)
(No, sir. These six have never regained consciousness up until now.)
(Okay, who are we talking about?)
(Patients Tunu, Gano, Yoshi, Kupa, Soni and Mari.)
(Patient Mari? Why, if he knows about this place, soon everyone will. And if everyone knows, they could band together and break out! That would mean catastrophe!)
(So we can't let then have their fun anymore?)
(No, Masuto-san, we cannot. It's too late to do anything tonight, but tomorrow you will have to start keeping tabs on the mansion and ensure that these awakenings stop.)
(Understood, sir.)
(And do something about your sister. She keeps hacking into the simulation. God knows what she'd do if she knew people were actually trying to escape.)