The fluorescent lights of the office never seemed harsher to Blaine than they did the next Monday, and the inane chattering of his coworkers never seemed louder. He hadn't gotten much sleep Saturday night, or Sunday night, and it was all he could do to rub his exhausted eyes, sigh, and not yell at Lindsay to please shut the fuck up for once in her life.

As Blaine was resting with his head in his hands, he sensed the faint rumbling that meant his supervisor, Larry—balding, overweight, wearing suspenders that were clearly necessary but not fashionable—was making his way over.

"Alright, Anderson?" Larry asked.

"Yes, sir," Blaine replied, straightening up.

"Not interrupting anything, am I?"

"No, sir."

"Good. Got a project for you," Larry informed him, dropping a thick stack of papers on Blaine's desk.

The stack, easily a foot high, landed with a thud that made Blaine wince.

"You know where the shredder is, right?" Larry asked.

"Yes."

"Good. Shred these. And remember, no more than five pages at a time or you'll jam it. And then you'll have to fix it."

"I'll get on that right away, sir," Blaine said, but Larry was already walking away.

Lindsay shot Blaine a sympathetic look as he hoisted the papers and made his way to the work room, where at least he could be alone –with an even more mundane task than usual and only thoughts of Saturday night's happenings to occupy him. Determined not to go there, Blaine tried to focus on the task at hand. Ever the perfectionist, he shuffled through the pages—old client information, from the looks of it—to count out five, tapped them on the tabletop once to align the edges, and fed them through the machine, which made a whirring sound as it shredded them: shuffle, tap, whirr. The routine lost its novelty quickly, and Blaine's mind inevitably wandered.

He hadn't even told Kurt about seeing Sebastian at Lindsay's party, or at karaoke for that matter. He didn't really know why; it wasn't like he had anything to hide.

Shuffle, tap, whirr.

Kurt might even be amused to hear about his former rival's current exploits, now that he had safely put a ring on it with Blaine.

Shuffle, tap, whirr.

Blaine knew that wasn't true even as he thought it; Kurt had always been the jealous type, and honestly Sebastian just wasn't very nice.

Shuffle, tap, whirr.

He was sexy, though, effortlessly seductive in a way that Kurt, despite his many other wonderful qualities, would never be.

Shuffle.

The slight rasp in his smoothly confident voice.

Tap.

Those smoldering eyes.

Whirr.

And yes, the fucking smirk.

Shuffle.

That fiery scent of cinnamon when they stood so close together.

Tap.

Would it have tasted like cinnamon too? If Blaine had just leaned in and…

Whirr-click.

A new sound from the shredder interrupted Blaine's train of thought. He looked down and saw that it was definitely jammed. Perfect.

After tracking down a pair of needle-nose pliers in one of the metal work room cabinets, Blaine removed the top of the machine and set to work extracting the mangled shreds of paper with a sigh. It was going to be a long day.

"Hello, darling!" Kurt greeted Blaine cheerfully as ever when he arrived home. "How was work?"

"Oh, you know," Blaine said vaguely. "Work."

"Aww, poor baby," Kurt sympathized, offering a kiss on the cheek as consolation. "Well, this should cheer you up: I made sushi," he added, proudly indicating the colorful spread of rolls arrayed on the dining room table.

"Wow," Blaine said with all the enthusiasm he could muster, "it looks great."

"Yeah, well, no need to thank me," Kurt said playfully. "I already know I'm like, the greatest husband ever. Aside from you, of course."

"Oh, come on," Blaine replied, looping his arms around Kurt's neck and pulling him close, "I could only dream of being half the husband you are."

Any rejoinder from Kurt was stifled when Blaine kissed him fiercely on the mouth for a long moment, eyes closed tight as he willed himself to feel a passion that just wouldn't come.

"Are you happy?" Kurt asked Blaine across the dinner table.

"Of course," Blaine replied automatically. "Why?"

"You just seem…distant," Kurt decided on. "Is something wrong?"

"No, everything's fine."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

"And you would tell me if there was something wrong?"

"Yes."

Kurt eyed Blaine for a moment and decided not to pursue the topic further. "I love you."

"Love you too," Blaine said with a quick smile, popping a California roll in his mouth. "Mmm, great sushi. Thanks, Kurt."

"Don't mention it."

"Sorry," Blaine said as the pair lay in bed that night, jazz still playing in the background. "I'm just so exhausted, and—"

"It's fine," Kurt interrupted, "really." He cut the music, and the silence was deafening.

"Are you sure you don't want to try—"

"No," Kurt cut him off again. "It's okay. We should both just get some rest. Good night, Blaine."

"Good night."

Blaine rolled onto his side, facing away from Kurt until he heard the slow, steady breathing that meant his husband was fast asleep. He felt a twinge of jealousy that sleep came so easily to Kurt, when it had been eluding Blaine for so long. He stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours, his anger and frustration steadily rising to a boil. Sebastian's words came to his mind unbidden: Call me when you get sick of not being able to sleep at night.

Blaine tried not to think about what he was doing as his hand slipped quietly under the covers, because if he thought about it, he would be disgusted with himself. His cock twitched at his touch, the arousal that had been so elusive earlier coming easily now as he thought of his encounter with Sebastian, standing so close together in that doorway, the air full of electric potential.

Blaine cleaned up after himself, panicking for a moment when he heard Kurt stir and thought he had woken him, but he was still sound asleep and soon, so was Blaine.

A/N: Okay well I hope y'all are still enjoying this even though it's prolly a little different; I guess I'm looking at it as more of a character study for Blaine than any sort of romantical thing with either Kurt or Sebastian. Cuz really, there's plenty of that floating around already. So I don't want to give away too much re: "endgame," but hopefully it's fairly obvious that there's not really a happy ending in sight. As always I welcome any kind of feedback and I'll try to address any questions you have as best I can! Thanx for reading! xoxo