CHAPTER FOUR

"Good Morning, Donnatella. Are you over your temper tant-" Josh couldn't even get the last syllable out as he looked over to her desk and stopped dead in his tracks.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Marla. You must be Mr. Lyman."

"Again, who are you?"

"I'm the temp. Donna Moss trained me as her replacement."

"Oh this is rich," Josh muttered walking into his office and slamming the door. She'd be back by lunch.

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Donna couldn't remember the last time she'd had a real day off. She'd slept in, treated herself to a leisurely cup of coffee and painted her toenails. And now that her apartment was tidied and she was dressed for the day she was… bored.

She'd honestly halfway expected a call from Josh, or at the very least a desperate plea for help from Marla the temp, but her phone remained silent. She drummed her fingers on the counter, looking around her quiet kitchen. What to do, what to do…

She knew she had to find a job. Luckily her resume was already updated and ready to go. She hopped around from posting to posting on the internet, looking for something that fit what she was looking for. She'd worked on a Presidential campaign and in the White House- it wasn't as if she lacked experience. She knew she could easily snag a job on the hill but she didn't want to be an assistant anymore. She wanted a more hands on approach to politics.

She scrolled by the administrative positions and any staff positions with Congressmen she disliked. She also ruled out the majority leader's office and the whips office- it seemed like Josh was there every day.

She perused a little more and studied her resume, wondering if it could use a little tweaking. She'd probably be better off with a recommendation letter but she couldn't ask Josh for one of those now.

Going out on limb she picked up her phone and called Andi. The two of them had grown quite close on the CODEL and she knew that Andi was far enough removed from the White House that the conversation wasn't like to get back to Josh.

Andi agreed to keep a silent ear out and let Donna know if she heard of any opportunities. She assured her that she would be a hot commodity on the hill. Everyone knew her pretty well from dealing with Josh's office over the last years and she was well liked on both sides of the aisle. Andi had even begun to offer to create a position for Donna but she'd quickly declined- she didn't want either of them to be in an awkward position over this.

Only a few hours later Donna's phone was practically ringing off the hook. Senators, non-profits, lobbyists- you name it, they were making her offers. Some of them, admittedly, were a step down- but they were offers nonetheless. Confidence restored, Donna allowed herself some time to think about each of them and went out for a long walk- and perhaps a cup a frozen yogurt. The machine would catch her messages.

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Donna took it easy for the next few weeks. She went home to Wisconsin to visit her family, though she was bitterly disappointed by her trip. She'd grown so much in her years in Washington and the great divide between herself and her relatives was certainly showing.

They didn't agree with President Bartlet's agenda. They wondered why anyone would sacrifice their social life for job as an assistant. They wondered why anyone would work for that man for so many years- he seemed like a pompous jackass on the news, one of her aunts had said. When they'd heard she quit her job they all assumed she was going to move back- to get some local job and marry a local guy and have babies- before its too late, you know, the same aunt had remarked.

And by the end of her trip Donna had realized what she'd been suspecting for years. She was on her own now.

When she flew back to D.C. her head felt somewhat more clear. Even though it wasn't exactly a relaxing week in the tropics it was good to escape the frantic pace of the beltway and do some thinking about what she wanted.

She picked up the phone, dialing the number scribbled on the message pad. It was the job offer she'd been mulling over in her mind all week. It would be a change, that's for sure. But she thought she could learn so much. And she could make a difference. Not to mention she'd have time to go back to school.

She accepted the offer, made a call to her landlord and readied the check for her school enrollment fee. But before she got to work packing her apartment she needed to make one more call.

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"C.J., it's Donna for you on line one," Margaret's voice came through the intercom.

"Donna!" C.J.'s jovial greeting was a welcome sound to Donna's ears.

"Hey, C.J.! I just called to congratulate you on the big promotion." Donna, despite the events of the last weeks, was disappointed for Josh. She felt he'd been robbed. But she was also C.J.'s friend and wanted to give her a pat on the back for this huge opportunity.

"Thank you! It's quite the ride already," she laughed. "And how are you? We miss seeing your smiling face around here every day."

"Oh, I'm fine," Donna was only partially lying. "I miss you guys too."

She heard C.J.'s muffled voice, speaking to someone else.

"I'm so sorry but I have to go, Donna. Hey, I know you're busy but can you meet me for dinner so we can catch up? My schedule is open next Thursday. Maybe around 8?"

"I'm sorry, C.J. I know you're slammed but is there any way you're available for tonight?"

"Alright… I can move some things around. Meet you at the White House gates around… 7:30?"

Donna paused on the suggestion that she return to the building. "Ummm… we can just meet…"

C.J. cut her off. "He's not here, Donna. You won't run into him." Her tone was softer, but not at all condescending or full of pity. And that, she decided, was the essence of what she loved the most about her friendship with C.J.

"Great," Donna smiled. "See you then."

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Donna stood outside the White House gates and checked her watch. Her pass had been revoked when she'd left her job. She was waiting for C.J. but she was freezing, even in her pea coat and scarf. She was enjoying the lack of stress she now had in her life when she stood in front of this building and watched the tourists wander by and take it all in.

"TAXI," her serenity was broken. She'd know that voice anywhere, especially when he was bellowing.

He rushed right up to the street, holding a small box under his arm in addition to the backpack that was slung over his shoulder and he was standing next to Congressman Santos.

"Joshua." Her tone was soft but it was enough to cause him to startle, turning around to face her.

He was clearly caught off guard by her presence. "Donna."

She wasn't sure what to say so she kept it professional, turning to Matt Santos while Josh got his thoughts together.

"Congressman Santos, great to see you," he extended his hand to greet her. "Miss Moss. Always a pleasure."

"You two know each other?"

Donna rolled her eyes and Matt gave a hearty laugh. "Everyone knows Donna. And more importantly everyone knows Donna. She's the only reason anyone on the hill is even willing to take a call from your office, Josh!" He was kidding, but not by much.

"Can you give us a minute," Josh requested and Matt walked a few yards away to speak to a group of tourists with University of Texas hats on.

"So, does this mean you've found your man?" Donna asked playfully.

"How did you know- I mean, of all the things-"

"I'm still tuned to you, Josh. Can't undo 8 years of that in 2 months."

He looked at the ground, unsure of what to say.

"You should be with me on this," he finally muttered. "He's the guy. He's the real deal."

Donna smiled sadly. "I appreciate that Josh, but I think its pretty clear that we can't work together right now.

"I need help, Donna. I have a million things to do."

She shook her head. His body language was so cold and even though part of her wanted to drop what she was doing and follow him wherever he'd lead her, she knew she couldn't do that. She needed to prove herself. She couldn't just be Josh Lyman's assistant for the rest of her life. And she especially couldn't be that girl anymore- things had changed for them and she had to acknowledge it and move on.

"I thought the Vice President was going to be the nominee?" She changed the subject, picking at him a little bit.

"Bingo Bob? Donna, come on! We can't just hand him the White House."

She didn't respond, but she didn't disagree either.

"Do your thing, Josh. I'll do mine. And maybe, at some point down the road, we can see if our paths cross again. And in the mean time, well, we both need to concentrate on ourselves and our careers."

He shook his head. "It's now or never. I'm risking everything I have and I can't have any distractions down the road. This is a campaign for Presidency, Donna, and there's nothing-"

"- that you take more seriously than that. Yes. I know," she finished his sentence.

But that wasn't what he was going to say at all. He was going to tell her that he needed her- not as his assistant, but as his partner. That he couldn't do this without her. Hell, that he didn't want to do this without her. That he thought now that they were both out of the White House he'd have the guts to make a move. That he'd been carrying an antique engagement ring for her in his backpack for the better part of six years.

"Donna?" She turned at the sound of her name, breaking the trance from their conversation.

"Charlie!" She gave him a warm embrace. "It's so good to see you!"

Charlie shook Josh's hand before turning back to Donna. "She's tied up for a minute, she wants to know if you can wait in her office."

Donna nodded to Charlie, realizing her conversation with Josh probably needed to be corked anyway. Wouldn't the post love it to hear a senior staffer screaming about the inadequacies of the Vice President on the sidewalk in front of the White House?

She turned back to Josh, Charlie waiting to escort her through security only a few steps away. He wanted to continue their conversation but he knew this wasn't the time or place. He'd clear his head and go to her later this week. Maybe with a bouquet of flowers and a dinner reservation somewhere nice. Maybe that French place she was always talking to Leo about.

Donna gave him a sad but gentile smile, cupping his cheek with her hand and knowing she didn't want to leave him on a bad note. "I know you're capable of anything you set your mind to, Joshua, and I also know that this is so important to you," she told him honestly. "Do good." And with that stood on her tip toes and lightly kissed his cheek before squeezing his arm an joining Charlie to walk into the White House. She hoped she now had her closure on Josh Lyman.

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C.J. had guessed something was off with Donna when she'd asked to meet her on such short notice, but she didn't want to pry. So, they walked to dinner and made lighthearted conversation while they waited for their entrees.

Once Donna was most of the way through her grilled chicken salad she knew she had to tell C.J. what was going on.

"I took a job," she blurted out. "And that's why I wanted to have dinner with you."

"Oh, well, that's great, Donna." And C.J. meant it. She knew her friend was tremendously capable.

"The thing is- Well, I'm leaving town."

C.J. stopped eating and looked up. She didn't say anything, waiting for Donna to give her more information, but she didn't continue.

"…and?"

"And that's why I wanted to have dinner. I leave in the morning and I just wanted to say goodbye. C.J. you've always been such an amazing friend and mentor. I have all the respect in the world for you and-"

"Donna, don't act like we're never going to speak to each other again."

"You're right. You're right." But Donna wasn't convinced. She knew that tomorrow morning when she got in her car with her belongings and hit the road that she was beginning yet another new chapter of her life.

C.J. was silent for a moment but she went out on a limb. "You know, he's not the same without you." Donna opened her mouth to protest but C.J. continued. "He's lost and miserable. I don't know exactly what happened between the two of you, and lord knows I probably don't want to, but he's crazy without you. I mean, he left the White House!"

Donna bit her bottom lip. "I just can't do it anymore, C.J. And yeah, he did leave the White House but it had nothing to do with me. Leo wanted him to find his guy and even after all these years that wasn't a conversation that I was privy to- it wasn't something he trusted me with or wanted me involved in or whatever. And that's fine. I'm just an assistant. It's just that I have given him so many years of my life, and that's okay, I was doing what I wanted to, but I always wondered what would become of it and- well, now I know."

"What do you know? Where are you going, Donna?" C.J. was somewhat startled by what she was hearing, though she'd watched Josh flounder at personal relationships for years so she should hardly have been surprised. But somehow he'd always been able to find his way with Donna- even if he was missing the obvious. He never seemed to have seen what everyone else saw between them. She wondered what had changed.

"I'm trying something new. And I'm going to leave out the specifics. It'll be easier if you have to deal with him. I'm sure eventually he will have questions about where I've been taking his dry cleaning for the last 7 years and he will try to track me down. The less you know for now the better. I'll email you once I'm settled."

"Donna, I don't know what to say-"

Donna waived C.J. off, not wanting to put her in the middle of all of this- or talk about it. She knew she had to change the subject if she had any chance of choking back the tears.

"Desert?" Donna offered, pulling an emotional mask over her face and attempting to finish one last dinner with her friend on a high note.

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Her things were all put away in her new apartment. The space contained the same objects as her place in D.C. had, but it just wasn't quite home yet. She sighed. It would be soon enough, she assumed.

She'd managed to find a buyer for her car almost immediately, giving her some extra money to pad her savings account and to save her on parking costs in the city. She'd be walking most places now anyway. She'd also put out an ad for a room mate- she'd found a great deal subletting a 2 bedroom apartment, but she didn't need all that space and it would be great to have a built in friend in a new city.

She took out her old checkbook and scribbled out the most she could afford to part with. She hesitated for a moment before writing an extra little note in the memo line and placing it into an envelope. She grabbed her keys and a jacket and headed out into the night for some fresh air in search of a mailbox.

After a few blocks she popped the letter into the mailbox and headed across the street to the drug store to pick up a few things before returning home. It was only when the small shopping basket was practically overflowing in Donna's arms that she'd done the math. Six weeks. Surely she did the math wrong… No. It had been six weeks. She gulped, placing the box into her basket and checking out, barely able to contain heart rate on the way back to her new little apartment.

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She sat on her bathroom floor, eyes as wide as saucers and stared at the blue plus sign. Even with the uncertainty of her new little life and the turmoil over the past few months she couldn't help but smile.

TBC…

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