This is a missing piece from when Isabella came to stay with Edward at the condo, just after their miscarriage scare.
Edward moved around the flat searching for Isabella. Though she never went too far from the bedroom, he wanted to make sure she was taking things easy, her bed rest wasn't done yet, but the doctor had okayed it so that she could get up and move around every few hours; a relief to her, but a nightmare for Edward. He worried about her constantly, so much so that at times he made himself sick with it. The fear he had over losing either of them was just so great.
Sometimes during the day he would find Isabella curled up at the bay window on the other side of their home, her fragile hands holding her belly lovingly and her gaze drawn to the city scape below. Anytime he found her like that his heart would thunder, his legs going weak and his emotions overwhelming him. And he always tried incredibly hard to give her some privacy, because he often felt like he crowded her, overwhelmed her even, but he could never seem to make himself stop doing it. His regret was like a blanket over him, the knowledge of how badly he'd hurt her repeatedly was almost too much for him most days…especially when he watched her belly growing with their little boy nestled safely within.
He found her where he knew she would no doubt be, and stood at the far end of the adjoining room and watched as she leaned her head against the window, seeming to stare out at nothing with her ipod attached to her ears. She was so at peace, and he could hear faintly as she sang softly and rubbed at her belly with a small smile. Though she was wearing that smile, he could see that right at the surface of it was sadness. He could only imagine what she'd been thinking about or even remembering that made her feel that way, and although he wanted to rush to her side, hold her and comfort her, he didn't want to disturb her. He didn't want her to stop singing; her voice was beautiful, lulling.
As he watched her there at her window, he wondered once more how he could have ever treated her so poorly, she was beyond lovely, body and soul. Edward didn't bother with trying to figure out his reasons anymore, because he already knew that all the mistakes made in the past were because he had been a coward, plain and simple.
He reasoned that he may have been a bit out of his mind as well, because watching her right now, she'd never looked lovelier. Her dark chestnut hair was loose, spilling over her shoulders, and her skin was glowing, his gut tightened with want as he watched her. Had it really only been days since she'd begun staying here? It felt so natural, so right. Before she'd come to be here, this place was more of a trophy than anything else. He couldn't recall a time where he referred to this as home. But now…Isabella was here. She was living and breathing and thriving here, and in turn, their son as well. Suddenly this place had become the central comfort for all the important things in his life. She has given me a home and she doesn't even know it.
Isabella turned then, as if she sensed him watching her, but she didn't look startled. Instead she gave him a gentle smile and inclined her head in invitation to him. She didn't have to ask him twice, he was already striding to her side, anxious to be near her.
"What are you doing over there by yourself?" she teased. He was embarrassed to admit that he had been looking for her, but before he could make himself come up with an excuse, he reminded himself that he owed her absolute honesty.
"I missed you…" it was the truth in the most brutal of its form. Even when she arose in the mornings for her shower, he grew anxious for when it would end; his eyes were always so greedy to see her, his fingers itching to touch her. Of all the things in his world, she would be the one thing he could never grow tired of. "What are you doing over here all by yourself?" He sat at her feet and pulled them into his lap; grateful to be touching her once more.
"I like it here, the sun always warms me up in this spot…"
"You've been cold?" The idea that she'd been coming here to "warm up" because she was cold made him feel like a failure all over again. If she was cold and didn't say anything about it, then it was because he hadn't made her feel comfortable enough to say something in the first place.
"No, not like you think. I get cold sometimes and other times I get hot…it's the way of pregnancy I'm afraid." His heart calmed as soon as he processed her words, but he felt an overwhelming urge to make sure she was one hundred percent comfortable while staying with him.
"Do you have everything you need here?" he asked, hoping to find even a hint of anything that he might be able to spoil her with. She was incredibly unmaterialistic and content, but still, when she'd arrived her from the hospital he provided her with a laptop and a credit card to shop online, but she'd yet to use it. Was he trying to buy her? No. Well not really. But he was desperate to make her happy; he wanted so badly to give her anything.
"I don't need much. I spend more time in bed than anything and I have plenty of pajamas." Yes she did. In fact she had some incredible pajamas. When her friends had brought over her things for the duration of her stay here, Alice had snuck Edward to the side and told him that she'd packed him a helping of pajamas too. He'd been confounded at that, but later when he was placing her items in the dressers, he found a plethora of maternity lingerie at the bottom of her suitcase that still had tags attached to them. Every night since, he'd lain awake with Isabella sleeping just inches from him with her innocent t-shirts and leggings on, but his mind was constantly imagining what she would look like with each one of those devilish silks.
But it didn't take silks to get him excited with her, in fact, just last night he'd awoken around two in the morning with her belly resting on his hip and her arms snuggled into his side. It was one of the most precious moments of his life, and he laid awake with her resting so peacefully as he ran his fingers through her hair and caressed her belly softly. The feel of her in his arms drove him mindless with lust, and not just because he was aching to be with her, but because the idea of having such a woman in his keeping was incredibly fulfilling.
"If something pops into your head that you would like…please don't hesitate to tell me. Anything you need, or want, it's yours okay?" She simply nodded as he continued to massage her feet, the two sharing a moment of quiet before he was able to say anything more.
"I love you, Bella." Gently placing her feet to the side, he leaned down and gently kissed their baby before kneeling up and kissing her. She didn't say anything in return, instead caressing his cheek softly and gazing into his green eyes expectantly.
He didn't know how she was feeling completely; realized that he hadn't earned that privilege yet. But right now they were together, their time their own as they navigated through the jungle of feelings still warped from all the stress he'd created in the beginning. One thing he'd brought himself to realize in the last few days, was that he had wronged her. And if her being distant or unsure with him was what she needed to feel right now, than he could endure it and keep proving to her why he would never fail her again. He would earn her trust back again…somehow.
For his part, he was lost for her. He'd been intently hoping that this time alone here would cement their bond and bring them closer once more, but he was also realist. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day. When she hinted that she was hungry, he helped her to their bed and set about starting an early dinner for her. But when he had her settled and he was at the door, she called out to him. "Edward…" He stopped at the door and looked back at her and she once more took his breath away. Her face was warm and happy, her expression undeniable, "I love you too" she whispered.
He smiled at her and the way she absently ran her hands over her stomach before striding to her side and kissing her softly once more. "Thank you for that…"
With that he set back off to the kitchen, his energy renewed and his hope of winning her heart back doubled over with promise.