Tears burned in the little boy's eyes as he watched the countryside fly by, leaving behind his sister, his Elle, but he wouldn't let them fall. Castiel was scared and angry, he knew about being scared, sometimes he and Elle only escaped things by the skin of their teeth, he knew that it was scary to be hungry and have no money to buy things, or how scary it was in the dark when he woke up and Elle was still asleep, so that he'd be frightened of the big shadows. He knew to be scared when Elle was scared, but she was always there when he was scared. Now she wasn't and he felt cold and so alone.
His small hands rubbed against his thin jeans and then he tucked them into the sleeves of the funny big beige coat that Gabrielle had found at the hospital to keep him warm. She had tucked him into it again after they had played in the park, her familiar soft hands warm and comforting, holding him close as she asked him to go with the Smiley man. He wanted to feel her hands now keeping him safe. He was always safe and loved with Elle. He wanted Elle. Please he just wanted Elle, he'd be such a good boy, he would promise he would, just please let him go back to Gabrielle.
He had never been apart from her before. He hated it. Only the fact that Elle had begged him to go so that he would be safe, had kept him quiet and had made him obey the scary strangers. The curly haired smiling man who had taken him away the playground, had led him to a shiny police car with the lights still flashing, and had made him get in the back. Castiel had felt sick and scared at the sight of the flashing lights and the big squad car, He and Elle had always hidden away from the Police.
All the time the Smiley Man had been smiling and asking Castiel things or was telling him everything was going to be okay. But Castiel knew the Smiley man was wrong, he was a liar, because his Elle wasn't with him so nothing was okay. The Smiley man had taken him away from Elle even though they didn't want to be apart, how was that okay? So Castiel wouldn't answer him when the man talked, he wouldn't even look at him, instead staring out of the window trying to catch a glimpse of his sister until he had seen one of the other very big scary men dressed all in black who had been in the playground, head towards the car. The very big man had smiled at him when he saw Cas staring wide eyed at him through the window but Cas had turned his head away. The very big man got into the driver's seat of the car and leant over to kiss the curly haired man before twisting his head towards Cas and saying in a kind voice " So let's get you home little guy and then we'll have a nice lunch okay?"
Castiel stared at him in disbelief for a few seconds, he didn't want to eat, he wanted his sister, was the man totally stupid but the man just kept calmly waiting for an answer. Then Cas turned his head away again. He didn't want to speak to the big stupid or the smiley stupid. He wanted to be with his Elle.
There was a silence for a little while as if Castiel was supposed to answer but Cas refused to look at either of them and then the car started up and began to move off. Castiel couldn't stop the whimper from his throat as the car began to take him further away from his Elle, he twisted his whole body round to try to see her, one little hand was pressed to the window but it was no use the car was going too fast. He closed his eyes. It hurt so much, this wasn't right, he and Elle weren't supposed to be apart, not never ever, ever! He felt sick with all the feelings running through him. He was so sad but he was so cross too and now the angry stuff was stronger than the sad stuff as he turned away from the window to face the front and sit properly again.
Castiel scowled, his little arms were folded across his chest even though the big coat sleeves flopped around them, and he was glaring at the back of the heads of the two men in the front seats. His eyes were getting blurry again every now and then but he was too angry to cry, and he just squeezed his hands into fists real tight when it felt like the tears were going to escape. He didn't notice the eyes of the driver studying him in the mirror, or the subtle nudge the driver gave to the other man in the front. He hated them, they were taking him away from his Elle, he hated them, he hated them and he wasn't gonna cry now, he wanted to hit them, he wanted to scream, he wanted to hurt them the same way they were hurting him and his sister. He wasn't aware that his feet were drumming against the seat, as he became angrier. He hated them, he hated them, he hated them and he wanted to scream so loud, Elle would hear it all the way back at the playground.
"Hey Cas sweetheart you ok there?" the man with the long curly hair turned round to smile at him kindly, his gentle blue eyes were warm like the sun on a summer's day which seemed to send the same kind of big cuddly soft happy stuff to his belly that happened when his sister was giving him a hug, holding him close or when they were giggling together.
But he wasn't going to accept the happy stuff feeling from this stranger, from a man who had made him cry. This was one of the monsters who had taken him away from Elle and Elle had been crying too. He hated that man. Cas knew his Elle had been crying, same as he knew she cried at night sometimes when she thought he was asleep, cos they didn't have enough food or money or she couldn't buy him a toy he had asked for. Castiel had stopped asking for toys after the night he heard her cry, he was a big boy now, and Elle always made up the best games anyway. If sometimes he saw something he really, really, really wanted, he would whisper it to Bobby the Bear so Bobby could remember to tell Santa for him, but he tried not to do it with Elle around, cos she would get that sad face underneath her smile, and Castiel hated seeing that sad face. He didn't bother trying to tell his spirit animal anymore cos Azzie didn't understand about toys, he just wanted to play pounce or chase all the time which was great and Castiel wasn't even sure if Azzie understood about Santa. He'd asked Elle once and she had looked surprised and then grinned wickedly as they tried to figure out if Santa was a Guide or a Sentinel and what kind of spirit animal he would have. They had decided that Santa would have to have a reindeer as a spirit animal. They had laughed and laughed until Cas's tummy was hurting.
Castiel's little face scrunched up into an even bigger scowl. When was he gonna laugh with his sister again? Horrible mean men. He made his special scary face, the starey scary face, the one that Elle said was so scary it frightened the monsters under the bed. He wanted to frighten these nasty people cos they frightened his beautiful Gabrielle and they frightened him.
"My name is Castiel, only my Elle calls me Cas and I am not your Sweetheart, I don't like you" his husky tear laden little voice growled at the words of the smiling man. Castiel heard a deep snort and he flicked his eyes to the driver of the car, who looked just like the enormous Giant out of the storybook Elle would read to him at night, when they were staying somewhere where there was enough power so they could read before bed, and then a deep amused voice murmured in a low tone, but Castiel could still hear the big dumb giant, so there. "That told you Blair"
Castiel piped up, his little voice surprisingly deep, his own striking crystal blue eyes focused like lasers at the back of the Giant's head. "Don't like you neither, you made my Elle cry, you big bully". He was so angry with the two of them, he wanted to kick them, and he wanted to hit them. He wanted his Elle.
He saw the curly haired man wince, and rest a hand against the giant's arm. "Jim, he's just a little kid who's really upset right now" he muttered soothingly
Castiel suddenly thought of the can of soda he had accidently dropped one day when they were eating in a park and then opened so that the sparkly fizzy liquid flew out of the can like angry buzzing bees and soaked Elle. Instead of getting angry, because having a soda was rare and only when Elle had managed to save enough money for a treat, Elle had giggled so hard she had a problem shaking her own can and spraying him back. He could still smell the sweet sugary tang and feel the sticky bits on his skin. Elle had made him laugh by licking the sweet stuff from his face and he had done the same back to her. Now, now he could feel his anger running through his body, fizzing and popping like the soda from the can and he couldn't stop it. He wasn't a little kid, he was a big boy and he was upset because these meanies had taken his Elle away from him. Castiel couldn't stop what was coming, even if he had wanted to, he opened his mouth and he screamed, and screamed, drumming his legs against the chair "I want Elle, I want Elle, I want Elle".
He saw the driver flinch and heard him snarl "Is this how you keep your promise to your sister to be good, little boy?" in a really growly scary voice, but he didn't care. It hurt leaving Elle, and he knew she was scared too. Who was looking after his Elle when he wasn't there? He wanted his big sister right now, this very minute, this second, now!
He also didn't realise that the curly haired man who smiled too much had reached back until he felt a large warm hand on his leg, and before he could kick it off, his whole body was flooded with a peaceful calm that made it very hard to stay so angry. His fingers and toes and knees and even his nose tingled with a sparkly gold feeling, and he drew in a deep shuddering breath. All that anger and sadness hadn't gone away but they seemed to be caught up in the warm glow and they couldn't fight their way through it. His breathing slowed as his body relaxed and his eyelids began to flutter. The sneaky yawn felt like it used half his face. He was so tired, he would just close his eyes a little and then he would shout at the meanies when his eyes were more awake.
Sandburg kept his hand on the little one's leg until he was sure Castiel was deeply asleep. The Guide looked at his Sentinel and sighed "Poor little guy, he's so upset, he doesn't understand this and he knows his sister was upset when he left"
Ellison made a grumbly non-committal sound, his ears were still ringing from the little boy's high pitched screaming. He felt sorry for the kid but damn those screams had hurt!
Blair frowned at him, he knew damn well what was going through his Sentinel's head "He's just been ill, his sister has been taken away from him, and he has basically been kidnapped by two scary adult strangers' big guy. I think he has earned the right to some temper tantrum time" he scolded his sentinel.
Ellison looked at the exhausted tear stained little face of the little boy and gave a sympathetic grimace, then Blair was amused to see a small proud smile cross his Sentinel's lips as he responded "He's got guts though hasn't he? The feisty little tyke was going to give us utter hell even though he promised his sister he would behave."
Blair snorted with amused exasperation, "You wouldn't like the pair of them so much if they weren't causing you problems Jim, admit it!"
Jim Ellison smirked at his bonded guide, making no effort to refute Blair's teasing allegations.
"Now why would that even cross your mind, my sweet docile, compliant, submissive non argumentative mate?"
Ellison laughed aloud at the raised eyebrows and the look of fierce contempt Blair shot him. It caused Blair to laugh with him, and then tired concern laced his voice.
"She will be alright won't she Jim?"
The Sentinel gave his partner a searching glance. "Dean's a good man sweetheart", he reminded his guide softly
"That's not what I asked Big Guy" Blair looked back at the little boy, worry in his face and posture. Jim's large hand landed on Blair's leg comfortingly "We can intercede if necessary Blair, you know we can, but we have to let nature take its course" Jim buried his own anxieties under the need to reassure his husband.
The lack of response from his beloved Guide was answer enough.
Gabrielle lay there, feeling so utterly boneless and comfortable, she barely moved, slowly coming awake through the layers of sleep. Her body seemed focused on physical feeling, the soothing sensation of the soft bedding against her skin, the gentle breaths against her shoulder. She felt warm and safe and so relaxed. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt this…carefree, content? She wasn't even sure what the feeling was, but she enjoyed it, laying there besides her beloved Castiel, listening to his breathing and feeling the puffs of air against her skin. Her slow smile was sleepy and happy.
These times with Cas, just curled up against each other, safe for a little while until the inevitable need to run again, felt so good. These times were so special, so sweet that they gave her the stamina and courage to go on. She used them to recharge her determination to keep her baby brother safe.
She adored his sleepy baby smell though the baby part had almost faded as he was nearly six now, but sometimes in the morning when they were curled so close, he was still her baby brother and he smelt like it.
Sleepily she inhaled deeply as she teasingly nuzzled against Cas's throat, peppering baby kisses up to his cheek with a loving laugh.
The satisfied deep chested rumble that seemed to also ripple through her own body caused her to pause in confusion. Her lips stilled, tingling with a strange sensation. Her eyes opened slowly, stubble, she was kissing stubble, her Cas didn't have stubble. The neck had muscles, the neck was large and the smell she had inhaled wasn't Cas's little boy smell. This smell was strong, earthy, and strangely comforting, spiced with danger. It was adult, masculine and it caused something unfamiliar to tighten in a line from her breasts through her stomach to her thighs. What the hell? Her eyes popped open, wide, and nervous, then she was caught in the intense green eyed gaze of the man lying beside her, the naked man lying beside her, the naked aroused man lying beside her. Her whole body gave a shocked shudder and she flushed, her instinctive reaction was to pull away, she was too close, oh god she was way too close, but she found herself wrapped up in the suddenly restrictive bedding, cocooned, snug like a bug in a rug. Those intense green eyes smiled at her and that deep gravelly voice, which also had a similar effect on her body as his scent, sending a stab of heat through her, said softly as if he didn't want to startle her any further "Good Morning Sweetheart"
Her voice when she responded was nearly as husky as his. "I fell asleep", her tone was half statement, half apology, her cheeks flushing and then paling as memories of the night before flashed through her brain, her tongue nervously licking her lips, leaving them glistening, wet and a darker shade of pink against the pale cream of her skin as the skin around her mouth tightened with anxiety, still trying to distance herself from him almost without realising it.
"Yes, yes you did", the response was amiable and utterly amused but the timbre of that voice raised visible goose-bumps on her arms. Again she made an involuntary small movement as if trying to pull away from him.
"Are you going to try to run from me again?" For a second there was sadness in the Sentinel's voice before distrust and anger sparked in those green eyes and his face hardened.
Elle looked up at him warily. She wanted to take to her heels and run but she fought the urge. She knew she had to try to get him to understand. Words, words were her defence and the strongest weapon in her armoury. She could use words like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a bloody hat, words were the protection she wove around her baby brother, she could spin them and dance with them and paint with them, but for some reason Dean Winchester stopped her tongue better than a gag and it was so hard to say the words which would make things better. But she had to at least try. He hadn't really hurt her with the first imprinting, but it had been so intense she didn't think she could handle that and the hard almost bitter cynicism with which he had treated her since she had taken off from the Clinic with Cas. This was so frustrating. She took a calming breath. The really hard part was looking him in the eyes but she made herself do it, made herself vulnerable to him.
"Please don't be mad at me again" she asked simply. "It's not deliberate, I swear, I have been running with Cas for a long time, it's hard to turn that instinct off" she offered quietly but she would be damned if she apologised for it. "It kept us safe, it kept Castiel safe. I have to keep him safe" Her chin came up and she kept looking into his eyes as she tried to explain something for which he could have no conception.
God this was hard, trying to teach herself to trust someone else with secrets that had been hidden for such a long time but Elle knew she had to make the effort to try to get the Sentinel to at least understand, even if he didn't approve.
His gaze didn't waver from her eyes, and she couldn't tell how he was taking it, his face was strangely impassive as she opened up to him. Instinctively she tried to reach through the small bond they had created to get a bead on his emotions but he seemed to have blocked access to them. So they were going to have to do it the normal way then, communicate with each other by actually talking.
She edged slowly closer, as afraid of staying where she was, as of moving towards him, until her head was tucked under his chin and she was resting against that broad chest again. He could probably feel the fine trembling through her body but that's when she began to speak, she told him of the times they had gone hungry, of the times they had been chased by unscrupulous adults wanting the kind of things from them that would have turned any normal person's stomach, she told him of the small kindnesses and unquestioning help they had received, and she told him of their efforts to stay under the radar.
But she didn't tell him how it started and who they were running from, she didn't tell him how they managed to get false passports and who helped her get through the borders, and Dean knew it. He was a hunter and although she was telling him the truth, she wasn't telling him everything…yet.
His hand had gone to her hair and he idly petted it whilst listening to her. His strong fingers soothing and gentling until she was more relaxed against him. He could hear the truth in her voice, but also the evasion. She wasn't lying to him which gave him a great deal of satisfaction, but he wouldn't allow her to continue her evasions for much longer. Realistically the more the bond locks fell into place, the less she would be able to hide from him. However the nearly constant attempts to pull away from him would not be tolerated any longer, and she needed to understand that. A gentle warning was in order.
"Don't try to flee from me darling' his voice was a soft growl, firm though still amused which was his one concession to the unsure delicious Guide lying beside him. She tilted her head until she was no longer hidden under his jaw, and her eyes met his uncertainly. Suddenly he could smell her fear and it was in her eyes and her voice when she forced herself to ask "What.. what would you do if I did run?" No, no this wasn't right, his clever brave little Guide shouldn't be afraid of him, she should never be afraid of him, and he was ashamed that he hadn't reassured her enough so that she felt protected. His fingers continued to sooth through her curly hair, and he tugged gently, sending her a reassuring smile
"I would just have to find you, again and again until you trusted me enough to stop running, oh and there would be an amazing amount of angry sex and then make up sex." He paused for a second and then grinned wickedly "Son of a bitch, in fact it might actually be fun if you run" and he laughed aloud at the sight of the embarrassed flush which covered her shocked face, as she licked her suddenly dry lips. The scent of her interested embarrassment banished the foul stink of her fear totally, and he gave a growl of approval.
The laughter stopped and he stared at her intently, that small pink tongue, he could almost feel it licking his own lips and he wanted to taste, he needed to taste and draw her scent into his lungs, his blood, his very DNA so that he would always find her. God, it felt so good already, only one sense locked into place but she was his. He hadn't woken up feeling this content or horny since, god he didn't know when.
He stretched luxuriously and she lowered her lashes in a panic refusing to take her eyes away from his face to the expanse of beautiful bare muscled flesh in the bed besides her. Those piercing sentinel green eyes caught her every reaction and as her blushing confusion grew, so did the satisfied smug smile on the Sentinel's face. "Like what you see Darlin" he purred contentedly, the evidence of his little guide's unwilling fascination and shy embarrassment increased the low level pulse of arousal he had woken with, heat thrumming through his gut into a deeper desire.
She was here in his bed, in his territory, wearing his clothes, with his scent on her body. He could feel the bond need begin to arise again, and he licked a stripe from her jaw to her ear. Above her startled gasp, he heard the rumbling purr of his fascinated spirit animal, and he turned to see his panther at the end of the bed, its vivid emerald eyes staring intently at the girl lying draped against his chest beside him, before slowly dipping its great head, gently beginning to scent mark her toes, rubbing its black fur affectionately against the ones peeping out from the duvet.
Gabrielle squeaked, jolting with surprise and stared down at her feet, her eyes widening at the sight of the playful big cat, whose eyes were focused on her, purring loudly as it marked her as his.
"Why hello there Beautiful" she whispered in delighted awe and the big cat seemed to preen smugly at the acknowledgement. Dean felt a smile cross his face at the intense satisfaction that she could not only see but even feel his spirit animal, and that smile widened when she squealed and giggled, jerking her feet back as the animal swiped its rough tongue against the vulnerable ticklish toes.
No-one had ever predicted or understood why some bonded pairs could interact with their partners spirit animals. The best most of the Sentinel Guide pairs could hope for was to see their partners other worldly guides. But actual physical interaction was rare and denoted a powerful bond. Dean's panther had been part of his life for so long, even before he presented as a Sentinel, they had grown in power and age together. When Dean had been very young, he had insisted that his panther cub was a kitten, much to his parents' amusement. As Dean had grown older, he had tried to re-name him many, many, many times but the big cat was having none of it. Dean wasn't sure if it was the cat's poor taste in music, after all his attempts to educate it. What was wrong with being called Metallica for God sake? But the cat had merely flicked a disdainful look at him and refused to answer to anything except Kitten. How in the name of his manly pride was he supposed to tell anyone that his big tough black panther was called Kitten? He was sure that the Alpha Sentinel had some cool name for his Panther spirit, even the Wolf of the Alpha Guide was probably called something badass like Remus. His cat didn't care, he came and left when he wanted. Dean didn't blame him, and if sometimes he whispered endearments to Kitten, there was no one around to hear him or tease them anymore, no Dad, no Mom, no Sammy, and no Adam.
So this playful interaction between his Spirit animal and his Guide touched Dean deeply, and he tilted Elle's head back until he had access to her lips. He licked the outline of her lips, until they softly parted and then gently pushed his tongue in her mouth when she had opened her lips instinctively. All to the sound track of the satisfied rumbling purrs of the panther.
An: No infringement intended.