A/N:

Enjoy :)

xo


Chapter Four – Why?

Nick sat on his bunk in the tour bus fed up of every human he came into contact with asking him why. It was always damn why that they were asking, nothing else. He picked up the newspaper in his hand next to him and looked at her crying face, feeling a weight fall in the pit of his stomach. He had made those tears, he'd ruined that what actually seemed to be a good healthy relationship, he ruined a life that wasn't his to ruin. It was pathetic because it was all because of cold-hearted jealousy and his desperate hang-ups on the past. His only excuse being that he couldn't help being who he was. He couldn't help keep thinking of his past and how much she was involved in it.

Denise

Nick walked up to his mother as she made him some eggs in the tour bus kitchen. They had stopped a little while ago for the driver to get some rest, and his dad and brothers had gone to the local mall to do some shopping. Nick however was too bored and lazy to walk their and had decided that he would just stay on the bus with him mom and help her to tidy it up after Frankie had been playing with his toys all morning. You couldn't walk through the length of the bus without standing on some kind of action figure and getting excruciating pains in your feet, if not some kind of wound. Joe had already bled twice that morning from keeping standing on them. That was why item number four on his father's grocery list had been "band aids".

"Why have you been so angry recently?" his mother said to him as she walked past carrying a pile of Frankie's toys and throwing them onto the bunk above Nick's.

Nick frowned, "What do you mean?"

Denise sighed and loftily sat down onto Kevin's bunk opposite Nick's, "You've not eaten dinner with us at all this week… you've been hiding in here and the only time you come out is when someone tells you that there's a stage to be standing on…"

Nick shrugged, "I've just been a little weird is all… I'll be fine soon…"

"Do you need a doctor…?" his mom asked.

Nick shook his head and smiled, "No, mom… I'm fine… I meant weird with people… like spending all the time on the bus and stuff… it's kinda making me a little depressed and claustrophobic after being on stage…"

His mother nodded, her eyes narrow as she looked at him suspiciously. She knew he was lying and she knew there was deeper reason for him to be being so secretive. He usually told her all his problems, even when he was having girl issues or growing up issues. His mom was his first port of call.

"Is it girl problems?"

Nick looked at her shocked and shook his head, "No… me and Selena are fine mom… I called her this morning… she's still doing promo for the second season of her show…"

Denise smiled, "I've heard that one before…"

Nick shook his head at her and sighed, sitting up throwing down his newspaper he'd been reading next to him, "Selena and me are great… when we get home tonight, she's coming by to watch a movie with me…"

He was no where as enthusiastic as he had been a week ago and it was obvious. For a few hours a week ago, he had possessed an old spark of happiness for just a while. As quick as it had ignited in his eyes it had quickly been put out with a returning depressed glare. It was worrying. Out of all the things in his life, all the possibilities to do something wrong and have a problem his only problem was with the one thing that had nothing to do with his career. It was all to do with the one thing that wasn't in his career… the one thing he had never been successful at.

Denise nodded disbelievingly and looked down at his newspaper. She picked it up and stared at the picture he had been looking at, reading the headline and gathering all the information she could from the quite long article. Nick stared at her as he continued mumbling about how him and Selena were fine. Looking from the article to his face, she knew he was lying. She could always tell… and she had always known one thing of her son… he would never ever admit when he'd been wrong. He was stubborn and full of insufferable pride.

"Why are you reading a Miley article, Champ?"

Nick's face dropped and he shrugged his shoulders, "I was just interested to see what happened between her and that guy… turns out it doesn't say…"

His mother let out a little laugh and she put the paper down, leaning onto her clasped hands, "I think you know what happened between them, Nicholas…" she smiled, "Because I stood and watched the other night when you came running from Miley's dressing room before everyone came out crying and upset…"

Nick held his breath. Busted…

"I didn't do anything…"

His mother smiled, "Of course you didn't… but if you're in love with her… you need to tell her…"

"Mom… I don't feel like that for Miley anymore… it's over…" he shook his head, "That ship sailed a long time ago…"

His mother looked at him and said nothing, "You have no idea what you're doing and how much of an ass you're being to all of these girls… just tell them the truth!"

"Why?" he shook his head, "There isn't any truth to be told. I'm with Selena and I broke up with Miley along time ago…" he picked up the paper and pointed to her face, "I broke up with her…"

His mother stood up slapping her hands to her thighs. She looked down at him and shook her head, "Fine… but you're failing to see what you're doing by not telling the truth, Nicholas…" she put her hands on her hips, "You've already ruined Miley by doing that, Nick…" she shrugged, "Don't ruin Selena too…"

Selena

Selena ended up kissing him on the cheek, as he diverted away turning his lips from her, gaining a confused glare and a break from their death grip hug. He smiled, sitting down onto the couch, pulling her down with him.

"You okay?" she asked wearily.

He nodded, "I'm fine…"

Selena laughed and shook her head at him, "That's a lie…"

He laughed and shrugged, "I'm fine… honestly… just a little tired and exhausted…"

Selena rubbed his arm gently and looked at him, "You sure…?" she asked, "You want me to go so you can sleep?"

Nick shook his head and smiled at her weakly. He knew what he had to do; it was just saying it that was the problem. He was going to have to think of a reason that wouldn't hurt her and avoid telling the truth. He was going to have to watch his words in case she cried and he would probably have to share one of those awkward hugs with her like he used to have to share with Miley at press events just so they wouldn't look shady.

"No… stay… I need to talk to you about something…"

"Okay…" she nodded, "But later… I meant to talk to you about that photo in the paper this morning…" she smiled, "Did you see it? It was the one of Cyrus getting dumped by the southern hottie? It was so funny…"

She looked at him intently confused as he refused to laugh. He would usually laugh, just so she was amused and they had something to talk about. Conversation had steadily become worse in their relationship since they had decided to give the couple thing a go. It was in fact, the murdering of what had happened to be an incredibly close and bubbly friendship.

At that thought, Nick had an epiphany.

He sighed and shook his head, "This couple thing isn't working, Lena…"

Her face dropped at his words and she gawped at him praying it was a joke and that he was simply kidding, "What?" she looked away from him her brow lowering quickly into a frown, "Why?"

He stood up, walking across the room, "I don't think we can be together anymore, you know… it's getting hard and stuff."

Selena stood up and walked towards him angrily, "'hard and stuff'? What does that even mean? It makes no goddamn sense…"

"Selena…"

"They warned me you were like this… they said that you were always everywhere in your head, never quite sure what the fuck you felt…" she was ranting, pacing his bedroom but she wasn't crying, "Apparently you're always quickly changing how you feel or not even feeling it at all…"

Nick was taken aback and he frowned at her. Who was this "They" that she was talking about? They didn't sound like the nicest of person.

"I just think after spending time with you that it's not working out how I thought it would…" he shook his head sitting down watching her pace, "We were better as friends… because we were really good friends before we got together…" he groaned frustrated. This wasn't how it was supposed to go, "Do you not realise I'm doing this to save our friendship? Do you not realise that? I'm going on another tour soon… you're going to be here in LA while I'm never going to get to talk to you because I won't have time… again! I just want you to be safe and sure in our relationship in case during the next six months that I'm gone… in case you meet someone else you have the opportunity not to throw it away. If we're friends then you will be able to continue your life normally… and you won't be tied down to some guy who won't even be calling you…"

Selena looked at him and shook her head confused, "You're breaking me up in case I want to be with someone else…?"

"No!" he shook his head, "I just don't think that this is going to work out… we should break up until I'm back and we can see what happens and if we haven't met someone else who we feel more strongly about… we can try again!" He smiled and took hold of her hand, "We're sixteen and we're meant to be having fun, you know…? Not tied down… I was tied down for two years… I don't want you to feel like I did…"

Selena looked at him for a moment and he began to worry that she was going to strangle him and tell him was an ass. He was shocked however when Selena's arms were thrown around his neck and she was hugging him tightly.

"Thank you…"

He was taken aback quickly and he shook his head. He hadn't expected her to move to his way of thinking this quickly. He thought she'd bitch some more, maybe slip in an uncomfortable desperate "I love you". He hadn't expected her to smile and give him thanks.

He frowned as he held her tightly. Shouldn't he be more hurt by this? Shouldn't he want her to want him still? He still liked her. His head was in such a mess. Maybe he didn't care about anyone but himself? He didn't care… his head was a mess and he didn't know what was going on, only that he needed to figure it out. He shook his head feeling cold.

"No problem…"

Joseph

"Why did you break up with Selena?"

Nick jumped and dropped the sugar dispenser in his hands. He looked around at Joe as he stepped onto the diner stool next to him and called over for the waitress, ordering himself a cup of coffee and the biggest breakfast on the menu.

"What?" Nick mumbled, he hadn't slept well the night before after Selena had left. His mind was buzzing with what the hell was going on with him. It was even worse that it was raining. The rain always made his brain cloudy with memories and he couldn't think clearly.

"I woke up and mom said that you broke up with Selena…" Joe said as he stole a piece of Nick's toast and bit into it with a crunch, "I found it incredibly strange considering that you were all over her last week… only after the City of Hope thing you suddenly decided that you didn't want to be with her…"

Nick sighed and picked up his coffee, drinking in the bitter liquid happily. He ignored his brother, picking up the sugar dispense and pushing it from one hand to the other. This was his mothers work. She was the only person who would instead of saying hello to Joe, tell him the woes of his younger brother. She knew how close they were. She knew that Joe would be able to talk to him about things better than she would, because more than likely he was going through them too.

"Joe…" he whispered, "Do you think that there's people out there that are actually meant for each other…?" he blushed a little, "Do you actually think that there's a list written somewhere with all the couples that are meant to fall in love with each other?"

Joe looked at him confused, leaning onto the counter, "You know I do…" he shrugged, "but I know exactly what you think of things like that… that what happens doesn't happen for a reason… that it just happens… why?"

Nick shook his head, pouring the sugar into his hands, "Did you really love Mandy?" he paused, "I mean… did you really think that you could love her forever…?"

Joe became uncomfortably and shook his head, "What does it matter? I mean she has boyfriend now doesn't she? That guy volleyball player she went on tour? I heard she really likes him… kinda makes things stop mattering after a person moves on…"

The younger brother's gut churned as he thought of Miley and Justin and how they had been moving on together. Apparently the guy had been with a girl for a long time and she'd quickly broken his heart after he'd given it to her. He and Miley were the things keeping each other happy and he'd ruined it for them. He was disgusted at himself. He wished he was like Joe sometimes. Joe could be so kind to so many people and quickly and surely fall in love. He could accept things with grace. He was his own brother's romantic hero.

Nick looked at him and saw the sadness in his eyes, "I'm sorry I told you that she wasn't worth being with…"

Joe shook his head, "You were just looking out for me…"

Nick shrugged guiltily, "No I wasn't… I was just trying to cut all ties with Miley…" he put the sugar onto the empty plate he'd been eating from earlier, "Now I'm beginning to think I should have been like you and tried harder to be friends with her…"

Joe looked at him with an inquisitive brow. He screwed up his face, kind of angry already, but more interested in what the heck he was mumbling about. He took the sugar from his hands and poured it into his cup.

"What are you talking about?" Joe whispered, "You haven't spoken to Miley in months… where is this even coming from? Your ignorance that she's even existed for the past year?"

Nick shook his head ashamed. He had wanted to tell someone for so long what he had done, but he hadn't had the courage to. He'd wanted to tell his mother but couldn't handle the disappointed looks she'd give him. His father wouldn't care and would say there were more important things to be worrying about than girls. Kevin was too busy hating the poor girl with the help of his new harem of Disney girls. Frankie was too young to understand what girls were even meant for, let alone how their minds worked. It only left Joe, and he felt guilty because barely a few months ago he'd yelled at Joe for wanting to date Mandy. He'd regretted it days after seeing Joe's crying face, but his pride was too much to tell him to ignore his words and love who he wanted to.

"I spoke to Miley last Sunday… at the concert…" Nick finally admitted in a whisper.

Joe blinked quickly. He knew that someone more interesting was coming up and he was evening out his emotions so when he reacted to the next piece of news he would do himself justice and yell the boy into the ground beneath his diner stool.

"Okay… and?"

Nick sighed and lowered his head. He took a deep breath in and held it, waiting to say it. It just built the painful tension. His pained eyes looked across the counter at the boxes of supplies they had against the walls. Napkins, toothpicks and sachets of ketchup all stared back at him. He felt taunted by everything, and guilty for the kind of ass he'd been for the past year.

"I kissed her…"

Joe was shocked and his face brightened up at the news. He smiled and slapped him on the back, "That's great…"

Nick shrugged him off, "No, Joe… I kissed her so that she ruined her relationship with Justin…" he shook his head. He didn't even know what he'd done, "I told her that I loved Selena and that I only kissed her so she'd have to break up with Justin…"

Joe stared at him in shock and said nothing. Nick covered his face in his hands and shook his head. Joe shook his head and Nick became even guiltier. It was worse when the person who usually excepted everything wrong he did with grace and compassion was simply staring at him like he'd as good as killed Miley. Nick looked up and realised… he'd as good as killed Miley.

He'd ruined her life… and it was a start.

"You're an asshole…" Joe spat at him angrily lowering his voice to a hiss, "A complete and utter asshole…"

"I know, Joe…" Nick nodded, "you don't have to tell me… I've thought about how much of a dick I am every second since."

Joe shook his head, "Any hope of ever even being friends with Miley again has been ruined by how much of a dick you are Nicholas…" Joe shook his hands inn front of him giving up, "I don't even have anything to say to you, ya know…" when Joe was angry, the New Jersey in him came out, "I'm just thankful that Karma will one day come back and bite you hard on the ass…" Joe pointed his finger and shook his head, "I seriously hope you're punished for everything you've done…"

"I know…"

Joe slapped the counter, "I don't think you do know, Nick! Do you realise everything bad that happened in Miley's life for the past year has to do with you? Do you realise that every mistake she's made it's all because she wants you to know that she's okay… that she doesn't care about you…?" Joe slapped him quickly around the back of the head, "Idiot!"

The both sat silently as Nick nursed his now aching head. Nick turned to Joe who was adamantly shaking his head in anger. Miley was like his little sister he'd never had. She would never match up to Demi or Selena by how close they were. It was Miley who had talked to him about Mandy… it was Miley who had hugged him tightly when he had let Mandy down gently… it was Miley who had called him every night the month after her and Nick had broken up simply to ask if he was okay. They shared a month of heartbreak together and it was two different kinds. Phone calls and emails from each other about the ones they had loved and lost were what had kept them both going while they were nursing themselves back together. For that month, Joe and Miley had been each other's lifeline until everything was okay again…

"I seriously hope something bad happens to you because of this…"

Nick ignored him. He was just having another one of those moments where he felt that he had to get everything off his chest. He looked around at Joe as he scoffed down his breakfast that had recently been put in front of him. Nick looked at him, his mouth was full and he wouldn't be able to talk or scream at him if he told another truth. He opened his mouth and stood up.

"I have something else I need to tell you…"

Joe looked around at him confused and continued to chew as quickly as he could. It was quite difficult for him considering how much bacon, eggs, sausage AND pancake he had rolling around within his mouth. He just frowned at Nick and turned on his stool to look at him.

"I told Mandy that you were seeing someone else more famous and that's why you didn't want to be with her…"

Joe blinked at his brother and dropped his fork from his hand standing up in seconds. Nick stepped backwards from him and held out his hands protectively. He hated all these reactions from the people closet to him that he'd hurt most. They weren't scared to open all avenues on him and punish him the most.

"I'm sorry, Joe… I was just trying to get you over her you know… I thought she was a bad influence… I hadn't actually seen her with Miley and anyone else and realised that she's actually a great person…" he mumbled as Joe chewed, his hands balling into fists, "I did it for you…"

In a swift moment of pure anger and annoyance, Joe raised his fist quickly to Nick's face, punching him hard and roughly in the bridge of his nose where it cracked quickly. Nick instantly fell to the floor as Joe stood above him shaking out his fist. Nick pressed his hand to the gush of blood coming from his nose and groaned in pain. Joe just looked around untouched by the moment, but looking all the more better. It was the quick and easy solution to all anger.

"There was no need for that Joe!"

Joe shook his head and glared. He really could not believe who his once beloved younger brother had turned into. He was a complete idiot who was turning into something that he couldn't even describe. It was beyond everything that he could ever think Nick would come become on both ends of the spectrum. He was different. If there was one word to describe him it was different. He was nothing like the fourteen year old who liked playing the guitar and singing. It just wasn't the same… he wasn't the Nick he knew.

"There was need for that!" Joe screamed at him his voiced pained with emotion and the threats of tears at his current frustration, "That was the first in a long line of Karma hits you're gonna get!" He walked over to him heading towards the door, throwing a napkin onto him as he stormed from the diner, "I hope it hurts ya like you've hurt everyone else!"

Nick turned looking to the door as it swung open and closed. He looked around the diner and found everyone looking at him. Shit he thought as he realised where they were.

Joe was right.

They were all right…

With a momentary moment, he took the once good lesson learned from his brother and took the quick and easy solution to his anger at himself. He hit the counter with a crash, the pain spreading across his hand welcomed. He deserved it.

A/N: TBC

BM

xoxo