CSI: Texas Chronicles: Sleeping Arrangements

Dinner had been a quiet affair, almost awkward. Greg hadn't said anything, though he wanted to. He figured after his initial points made earlier it was best if he let Nick come to him on his own. He didn't want to push too hard and end up pushing him further away. But it wasn't like Nick was much of a talker either. The way Greg saw things, he'd just used his mouth to eat faster than normal so he could get to bed and pretend Greg wasn't there.

When Nick said he normally went to bed right after dinner, he wasn't kidding, and Greg saw precision in everything he did, which said he might have eaten faster to speed up the going to bed process, but he always went to bed this early, no matter what. So Nick's actions weren't all because of his unexpected visit. But knowing that didn't make him feel any better about the whole situation.

Greg wasn't sure if he'd be able to sleep. He didn't think it was wise to sleep near Nick and the dying fire so he'd curled up into a ball inside his bedroll and did his best to keep warm on the other side of the cabin. Not bothering to close his eyes as his mind was still racing, he chose instead, to stare at a spot on the wall across the room. He didn't realize his teeth were chattering until he heard Nick speak to him for the first time in several hours.

"You're teeth are chattering, honey."

Greg looked up to see Nick resting on one elbow, watching him.

"See, your mouth finally caught up with your body. I knew you still wanted me," he couldn't help but grin as he spoke.

Nick sighed in the darkness, "Greg, bring your roll and get over here. I'll keep you warm if it'll stop your chattering and help me sleep. But don't get your hopes up for anything more than that."

Greg scrambled to obey. The cot Nick was using was narrower than a twin sized bed and Greg felt restricted once he was under the covers. But if they slept on their sides, there was just enough room for both of them. He found Nick's body both warming and comfortable to be pressed against, even if it was a little stiff due to the close contact Nick hadn't wanted.

"God, G, you're freezing!"

Nick wrapped his arms around him, tucking Greg's head under his chin just like he used to back when they'd lived together just a few short months ago. If he knew he wouldn't be turned away, Greg wouldn't have kept his mouth and tongue away from the throat in front of him. He did his best to resist the temptation to tell Nick he knew one sure fire way to warm them both up. Instead, he kept his mouth shut and breathed in Nick's long missed and familiar scent.

Nick swallowed and Greg broke down, kissing him lightly, feeling him stiffen more beside him. But he didn't stop, his need drove him onward, to seek a peace between them, a peace in Nick after everything that had happened. He feathered his throat with more light kisses until he heard a strangled sound escaping Nick's mouth and felt his body begin to tremble. He looked up to see Nick's eyes clamped shut.

"It's ok," Greg whispered.

Nick's mouth was also clamped shut and he'd gone silent as if he was trying to hold everything in. Greg continued to kiss him, trying to break through to him.

Outside, an owl hooted into the darkness, creating music with whatever predatory animal had chosen to sit near the cabin and howl long mournful cries until another gave an answering call. Under normal circumstances Greg would have been scared to death of these animals which could have attacked him and eaten him alive, but right then he was so absorbed in Nick, he barely registered Nature's nightly music.

"I want you," Nick's voice came out sounding broken. "But I can't do this."

Greg stopped and looked up at him again.

"Open your eyes, babe." When Nick did he locked eyes with him. "You can do this and you don't have to do it alone. You can. I want to help you get better. I didn't walk all the way out here for nothing. It'll take time, though. You just have to accept that. I know you're used to taking the hero role, but even heros need heros of their own." Greg paused for a moment to let his words sink in before he continued, wanting to assuage Nick of his fears. His voice was soft as he spoke, "we don't have to talk about it right now. Maybe tomorrow we can find some time to talk about things. We'll go at whatever pace you need, but we will get through this together. Ok?"

Nick slowly nodded, though a bit of fear was noticeable in his eyes. "I think so... maybe."

"How much do you trust me?" Greg took a slightly different approach.

"What?"

"How much have you ever trusted me, since we've been together. Even before that."

"Completely," Nick breathed, not even having to think about it.

"Then don't worry. I'm here for you, think about that, alright?" When his boyfriend nodded more assuredly, he said, "now, take a deep breath, and come here. You've got a cabin to fix in the morning so you should be getting some sleep. And maybe, if you're feeling up to it, I might even let you put me on a horse."

Nick smiled a little. Greg disentangled himself from him before wrapping his own arms around the other man and tucking his head under his chin.

"I love you," he whispered into the now quiet night.

Nick didn't react, but Greg wasn't worried. He knew patience was key and for Nick he was full of the stuff he normally didn't have for anyone else. He lay awake for a long while rubbing circles into Nick's back until the older man's breathing slowed to steady and even breaths. But even then, Greg couldn't bring himself to fall asleep. After months of living alone, after knowing Nick on the most personal level, this was heaven and he didn't wan to let it go. It felt good to be able to finally comfort Nick more openly, even if the outcome was still uncertain.

With a kiss to the top of Nick's head, he allowed himself to close his eyes and drift into a deep sleep.

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