And here we have the mpreg flashback chapter. It will be shown in italics as will future flashbacks. I wanted to have this chapter out Friday night but I got stuck working a double at my job and had to deal with a nasty computer infection on Saturday. My computer's all better now though and everything is moving along. ^_^
Still don't own any of the Kuro characters, I guess I own the random extras who are just wandering the streets? Oh and the currently unnamed Council member, who will probably receive a name later when he appears in another flashback.
Chapter 4: Bittersweet Dreams
Grell was seated at the window on the second floor of an inn, watching the hustle and bustle of the evening crowd. Laying low was so boring! It was only a short while ago he returned to the city after a prolonged absence. After years of wandering he began hearing reports of a demon slayer. Now that on its own was of no interest to him, but the rumors were that this particular slayer was half demon. If so, he needed to meet with her. He suspected the young woman he saw a couple days beforehand was that woman, his daughter.
The window in his room overlooked a pizza place with outdoor seating. Not much else he could do but watch people, especially if he wanted to keep his cover. He didn't want the Dispatch offices to get wind of his return. Suddenly he saw that woman again, and she was with somebody. It was Undertaker, which surprised him a little. Yet it made sense, he was legendary and she seemed to be a legend in the making. He didn't look too bad either, wearing contemporary clothing on his lean, toned frame. Probably because he was not at work at the moment, yet he still wore his usual top hat.
The woman looked exhausted, a contrast to how she appeared when he saw her shopping the other day. Her expression showed some degree of emotional strain and she look like she just woke up. He wondered what happened to exhaust her, she looked so strong that one day. It was comforting to him to see Undertaker by her side though. From their body language he could see that Undertaker cared about her. It seemed that a couple times he told jokes and the woman would reply with a chuckle or an appreciative smile. If only he could hear what they were talking about.
At least he now knew what to do next. It would seem awkward to confront this woman on the street and begin asking her questions. Being able to ask someone they both knew on the other hand would be easier. If this woman turned out not to be his daughter he could just continue on his wanderings, as lonely as they were.
Yet he was almost sure she was. She just had to be. Her features were so similar, a perfect blend of his and her father's. With a sigh Grell threw himself onto the bed. Tomorrow he would visit Undertaker and ask about this woman whom he appeared to be quite close to. For now he just let his mind wander as he thought of what led up to this. Either he could get the answers he was seeking, and hopefully find a way to end his years of wandering. Or he could be mistaken and go back to a lonely life of questioning past actions. Not that he held any regrets, just many, many what ifs. What if he had returned sooner? What if he stayed? What if she had a different father? Eventually he fell into a restless sleep.
He wasn't sure how it happened, but he defied the natural order of things. The glaring lights of the hospital wing just added to the surreal feeling that was washing over him. How was he going to break it to Will? What was going to happen now? Joy and uncertainty were dancing a delicate war within his heart. This was all he ever really wanted, but he also knew the circumstances around this odd miracle were not the best. Had he not been with that handsome and rough, demon, things may have been different.
Still, the offer was too good to pass up at the time. It began when he ran into Sebastian while on assignment. He was given the reluctant offer of some time together, all he had to do was divulge some sort of information regarding a case that he was sent to investigate. How could he turn such an offer down?
That night had been rough and full of hunger. He could still remember the feel of the demon's rough caress. His body shuddered with pleasure at the memory of the demon inside of him, the hot breath ghosting on his pale skin. The bruising bites that remained as proof of their night of carnal passion. Every bruise and laceration was welcomed, even if he seemed to be the only one enjoying it.
Now he was sitting in the hospital wing, having been sent down by William. As of late Grell spent his mornings, and sometimes whole days feeling ill. He was also moodier than usual, and was driving the rest of the department crazy. Now he had to get his bearings and tell Will, regardless of the consequences. It would be impossible to keep this a secret.
Sliding off the table, he gently touched his abdomen, still somewhat in disbelief. He wasn't far enough yet to be showing, the life that was growing was no more than a clump of tissue at this point. The clicking of his heeled boots echoed through the halls as he left the hospital wing for William's office. He was nervous, unsure of what would happen next. It took everything in his power to open the office door, knowing William's reaction would not be a happy one. As much as William put up with him, his gut told him that this would be different.
"Come in Sutcliff," William remained seated at his desk with files spread out before him, "tell me what the doctor said."
Grell entered and shut the door behind him, "Well Will, I'm pregnant."
William's head snapped up from the paperwork he was tending to and he glared, "What? How the hell did that happen?"
"The doctor isn't too sure. He thinks that I have a womb that remained unnoticed," Grell shrugged nervously. "It probably would have remained hidden if I didn't get pregnant."
"Any idea who the Father is?" William's eyebrow twitched in annoyance.
"Yes, actually," Grell took a deep breath. "It's Sebastian."
William shot up from his desk and cracked Grell across the face, hard enough to send him to the floor, "How could you? Do you not have any respect for yourself. Sleeping with such filth like a common street whore!"
Grell placed a hand on his cheek, tears stinging his eyes, "I am not a whore."
"Then why are you putting yourself in the company of a demon? A respectable shinigami would never lay with a creature that low."
"You wouldn't understand Will!"
"No, I wouldn't," he pinched the bridge of his nose, "Now I have to figure out what I'm going to do with that thing you're carrying."
"It's not a thing! It's my baby!"
"Honestly, the most merciful thing that can happen is for you to miscarry. That child, if it's allowed to be born is going to be cursed by its demon blood."
"You don't mean? No! They can't do that to me!" Grell shrieked as he realized what William was considering, wrapping his arms protectively around his midsection. "I won't let you or any doctor near me if you're thinking of that!"
"That's not up to me Sutcliff, that's up to the Council of Elders. In this case they're the ones who are making the decisions. If they decide to remove that thing from inside you, it's going to be removed."
His heart was racing, he felt trapped, cornered. He also felt betrayed by William, who knew how he felt about wanting to bear children. William knew that this longing had driven Grell to madness previously. This went beyond normal trouble, he knew the Council would be severe in doling out punishment. While in general nobody cared who was having sexual relations with who, fornicating with a mortal enemy could be considered criminal.
Grell's thoughts were interrupted by William, whose voice was surprisingly calm now, "I suggest you go home and remain there until a decision is made. Don't think of trying to leave, it'll only make any penalties you need to pay more severe. Now get out of my sight."
Grell nodded and got up, numbly leaving the office. He was dismissed until further notice and had no choice but to return home. Upon arriving he went into the bathroom to survey the damage done to his face. There was a purpling bruise where William struck him, harder than usual, very likely bruising the bone. He felt exhausted from freaking out in the office, and was too tired to get an ice pack.
Instead he crawled into bed and attempted to sleep, hoping this was all a nightmare. It was rare for Grell to feel true fear. The first time was when Sebastian was about to kill him with his death scythe. Now with the potential life of his future child at risk he felt fear grip at him again. Only time would tell what happened. Nobody would be there to save him this time.
Days later he was standing before the Council, composed of the oldest and wisest shinigami. Grell was afraid his knees would give out from being so nervous. Many of the members have lived for millenia, some for as long as human history. It was their decision that determined his and his unborn's fate.
One of them, likely the head of the council judging by his regal presence, called for attention.
"Sutcliff, it has come to our attention that you are facing charges of fornication with a demon. Since demons are our sworn enemies this could be considered a crime of treason. Even more damning since there is evidence of these alleged relations."
"I-I didn't mean it as such. I had no intention of betrayal."
"Then why did you commit such a crime?"
"It was mere infatuation Honorable One. Nothing more," the blunt, honest answer, the best to give when in such deep trouble.
"This will not be taken lightly, such a crime requires punishment, especially since you have committed grievous violations in the past. You are to be barred from field duties as well as entering the human realm for an indefinite period of time. Your actions will be monitored at all times. You may work but you are to remain at the offices and Library. Your scythe will be confiscated for that period as well."
Normally this would have been a relief, a sentence similar to what he received for the Jack the Ripper killings. Office work was tedious and boring, but was better than nothing. Now there was more riding on their decision than occupational duties.
"And what of my unborn?" he asked softly. "What's going to happen with my pregnancy."
"After much deliberation we have come to a decision. Due to staffing issues the child may be carried to term circumstances permitting. If it survives to birth it will be taken into custody and raised under special orders. If there are any signs of possible threat the pregnancy will be terminated. If the resulting child shows such signs it will be destroyed. Consider yourself lucky Sutcliff."
Relief and fear washed over him. He hoped that everything would go smooth, that his child would develop and be born healthy. That it would show promise and be allowed to live, even with warning that it would be taken from him at birth. After being outfitted with a tracking monitor he was sent back to his apartment to contemplate his fate.
That whole time William was nearby, but kept a colder demeanor than normal. It wasn't the usual toleration or brush-off Grell was used to. It felt more like William was distancing himself, making Grell feel totally alone.
Now curled up again in his bed, he placed his hands on his stomach, "Little one, I'm not sure if you can hear me. But please, grow healthy and strong for me? I'm practically alone now, everyone is rejecting me more than usual. I know I can only be with you for so long, but please be good for me?"
The following months would be bittersweet.