A/N: Okay, I am so sorry for the delay on this chapter. This last month was a nightmare, and then on top of all that, I rewrote this chapter about five times. I really hope it turned out okay. To make up for the wait, this chapter is extra long!

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy IX or its characters or anything related to the Final Fantasy franchise.

CHAPTER 4: ECHO

"Get up, damnit!"

Someone was nudging me in the side with their boot. Reasonably irritated, I ignored it, but the bothersome behavior continued.

"I said, 'get up!' Are you deaf, or just stupid?!"

How rude.

"If you really are Zidane's brother, then I'm just going to assume you're stupid!"

I should have been wondering how my pest knew intimate details about Zidane, but I was distracted by the realization that history would remember me as "that idiot's brother." Amazing how Zidane can ruin even my legacy without lifting a finger. At least I could revel in the fact that Gaia's history books would henceforth contain a post-war chapter entitled "The Buffoon King."

Cracking open an eye, I squinted at the hazy sunset. The wind felt cold and dusty, as if I'd fallen back in time. Propping myself up, I watched snowflakes flutter through the air.

"Nice of you to join the party, Lord King! Fashionably late as always, I see."

I turned my eyes from the horizon to find an astonishingly beautiful woman standing above me, glaring. Snowflakes dusted her dark hair, and her lips were turned up in a sneer. The woman leaned on the handle of an axe almost as large as she was.

Well, well, well… I mused. Lani the Bounty Hunter…

Wincing, I dragged myself to my feet and calmly brushed the snow off my cloak. "If I recall correctly, you have been 'fashionably late' for every event that does not end in a 'reward.'"

Lani snorted. "That's cute, Kuja. Y'know, there's fashionably late, and then there's disappearing off the face of the planet for four-and-a-half years with your tail between your legs."

I honestly had no idea if Lani was using a figure of speech, or if she actually knew I had a tail. I gave her a perplexed look, which she returned with one of equal confusion.

What did it matter? It was cold, and Lani was wasting my time.

"You had best be on your way, bounty hunter," I muttered. "I am not here to cause harm, nor am I interested in idle chatter."

Lani sneered. "Yeah, sure, and I'm the Queen of Alexandria – who, by the way, is about to receive your head on a platter."

I took a moment to reflect on how strange Lani looked, dressed in a thick, fur-lined coat instead of her usual hunter's clothing. I could recall a time, many years ago, when Lani attended one of my galas. It was the only time I ever saw her wear something "fancy" by her standards.

It's a rather interesting story, actually… It was during the final weeks before the war. The seeds were planted, and while Queen Brahne made final deliberations, I returned to Treno to keep an eye on politics. The easiest way to do so was to host extravagant parties and wait for the nobles to get drunk. At the time, one of the noblemen who frequented my parties was a man named Lord Edric, a rich merchant who supplied exotic items for auction. Edric, you see, was one of the few Gaians who could afford the horrific expense required to travel beyond the Mistlands, where airships could no longer function. Needless to say, our partnership was… tense – and perhaps a tad parasitic. Until I first appeared in Treno, Edric had a monopoly on the distribution of foreign wears, most of which he sold to Lord Brennen. Once I began work in the auction house, I became a threat to Edric's livelihood. Not only could I supply products from the Outer Continent with minimal effort, I was from the Outer Continent – or so the nobles believed. Edric was convinced I was a fraud, so he bided his time, skulking in the shadows and waiting for the moment Lord Brennen would inevitably dispose of me. How awkward it was for Lord Edric when Brennen died and left his entire estate in my possession. I could have done away with Edric, I suppose, but it was far more entertaining to watch him squirm.

The day this story unfolded, I was hosting yet another party. Edric had just returned from a month at sea, and I prayed he would be too tired to make an appearance. Unfortunately, Lord Edric was not unlike a splinter.

"Lord King, there is someone you must meet!"

I turned to find Edric wading towards me in the sea of nobles. Trailing behind him was a beautiful woman. Her face alone was stunning, but most of the guests were focused on other parts of the woman's body, which were barely concealed by a dress of sheer, colorful sashes.

"Lord Edric!" I exclaimed. "Who is this stunning creature?!"

"The name's Lani." The woman spoke up before Edric could introduce her. "And you're this Lord King I keep hearing about…?"

I smiled, genuinely amused. With preparations for the war underway, I'd grown weary of my life in Treno. If Lani could make the night more interesting, then I certainly intended to keep her around.

"I am, indeed, Lord King." I nodded politely. "Delighted to meet you."

"She hails from the Outer Continent." Edric leaned in as if to tell a great secret. "I thought the two of you would have much to talk about."

"That was very thoughtful of you." I gave Edric a thin smile. The nobles at the party had never met a foreigner besides myself, and I had always presented myself in a most gracious manner. Lani, on the other hand, was half-dressed and coarse. Edric knew the nobles would gossip, and he meant to embarrass me. The last thing I needed was for the upper crust to associate my supposed heritage with any sort of "savagery."

"I'll leave you two alone." Edric grinned and disappeared before I could stop him. I amused myself by imagining a chandelier crashing down on his head, but sadly, it was not meant to be.

"So, you're not from the Mist Continent?" Lani was looking me up and down with a doubtful look. "I've never seen anyone back home that looks like you. Where do you come from?"

"I confess I am from no place in particular. I moved frequently, so I do not have any one place I can call home."

Lani was staring almost hungrily at the rich décor as she grabbed a glass of wine from a passing servant. "Well, it looks like you've made quite a home for yourself here."

"Indeed. The Mist Continent is full of opportunity. May I ask for what reason you came here?"

Lani shrugged, swirling the wine in her glass. "Adventure, I guess. See new places, try new things…"

"Well, you will find plenty of that here. Treno is a bit of an oddity, even for the Mist Continent."

Lani gave me a sly look. "If you're so knowledgeable about this place, maybe you could help me bridge the gap, so to speak."

Something in Lani's voice gave me pause, and there was a strange tension in the air. I decided to play along. "I would be more than happy to escort a young songbird such as yourself around the manor."

"Songbird? You're the one with the feathers. Do you talk to all the girls like this?"

"Only the pretty ones."

Lani laughed and accepted my arm. "Men. You're all the same."

I gave my exotic guest a brief tour, pointing out various fineries and introducing her to curious partygoers. I was not going to give Edric the satisfaction. Let the fools gossip – what did I care? If all went according to plan, most of my guests would be dead within the month.

Eventually, I led Lani to one of the mansion's private verandas and discreetly locked the door. The air was warm, and the stars were veiled by clouds. When Lani set her glass on a marble dais, I noticed she had only pretended to drink.

"So it's always nighttime here?" Lani gripped the balcony's railing to peer down at the fountain in the garden.

"Yes, it's forever dark in Treno. I have lived on the Mist Continent for seven years, yet this region never ceases to baffle me."

"Seven years…" Lani shook her head as she tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear. "Honestly, I thought you'd been here longer. You seem like any other nobleman."

"You are the first person to ever accuse me of being ordinary." I chuckled as I moved to stand by the railing. Lani rolled her eyes.

"That's not what I meant."

She had a hand on her hip, I noticed, and the sash around her waist parted right where her fingertips were resting. Mirroring Lani's casual pose, I leaned against the railing to face her.

"So, how much is Lord Edric paying you?"

Lani nearly choked in surprise. "Excuse me?!"

"Answer the question, Lani."

"A-are you – are you calling me a whore?!"

Lani meant to mislead my suspicions, but when it came to deception, I was the king.

"Do not play dumb with me, Lani. You know exactly what I'm talking about. How much is Lord Edric paying you to kill me?"

Lani's mouth hung open. Then silver flashed through the air. Any other man would have lost their nose, but I caught Lani's wrist and twisted it until the dagger fell from her fingers. I expected her to cry out in pain, but she merely leveled me with a smoldering glare.

"Let. Me. Go."

"Not until you answer my question. How much money did Edric promise that convinced you to travel across the ocean to kill me?"

I released Lani as her free hand lashed out with another dagger. I jerked backwards in time to avoid a nasty cut, but the blade tore the front of my shirt right open. Lani lunged again, but a weak thunder spell caused her to collapse back against the railing. I seized the bounty hunter by the hair and yanked her head back over the bannister.

"Enough!"

Lani sneered despite the pain in her eyes. "Go on. I dare you."

I leaned down until we were almost nose-to-nose. "You have no idea who you're dealing with, bounty hunter." Lani winced as I clutched her hair tighter. "I am the richest man in Treno, I am a sorcerer, and an advisor to a queen. I can do whatever I want with you, and not a soul would stop me."

Lani's eyes flared. "Go on, then."

"Despite your claims, not all men are alike. I wish to pay you, but not for that."

"What then?!"

"Kill Lord Edric. Kill him, and I will pay you twice what he owed."

Lani's face went slack. "…You can't be serious."

"I am deadly serious."

"Why should I believe you?"

"Because I'm not killing you right now."

Lani gave me a withering look. "Edric promised to pay me 40,000 gil. Who the hell would pay me more than 40,000 gil to kill his own employee?!"

"Please. I mop our floors with 40,000 gil."

"No…" Lani's eyes searched my face. "This is too easy. What's your game?"

"There is no game. I've planned to dispose of Edric for some time. This is mere convenience. There is, however, one stipulation."

"What?"

"…I want to watch."

That night, I sipped wine in the gardens while Lani twisted a dagger into Lord Edric's gut. Even with a mouthful of blood, he continued to curse me. I smiled and raised my glass to him in a toast. Once Edric was dead, I removed the valuables from his body. Then I burned Edric's corpse and tossed the ashes into the canal.

The story does not end there, however. As Lani dug eagerly through her box of coins, I told her she had impressed me greatly. Should she desire further opportunity, I advised her to steer her journey towards Alexandria. I held out an envelope with my personal seal and told Lani to pass it on to the proprietor of an inn. I wasn't sure if Lani would take me up on my offer, but a month later, when Princess Garnet fled Alexandria with the Summoner jewel, Lani and her new hunting partner were already in the city, awaiting the queen's orders. The rest, as you know, is history…

Now the war was over, and Lani had a new bounty on my head. Strange, how time always circles back on itself…

"How much money will you demand of Queen Garnet for my 'head on a platter?'"

Lani sneered. "Not a cent. Taking you down is all the satisfaction I need. You're a despicable man, Kuja. The fact that you've been roaming free for almost five years makes me sick."

I shook my head and laughed. "Is that what you think? You think I have been wandering for years with no more than the shirt on my back?"

"I don't know, Kuja, and I don't care."

I was in no mood. I shoved Lani aside and trudged up the hill towards the ruins on the horizon. Lani spluttered and chased me.

"Now wait just a – where the hell do you think you're going?!"

Lani swung her axe, but by then, I was gone. A moment later I reappeared in the ruins.

Fifteen years… Had it really been fifteen years since I'd last stood in Madain Sari? It was hard to imagine so much time had passed when I could still recall so vividly the reek of sulfur and the burning sea.

A cold wind stripped through the ruins as I stepped over the city's shattered stones. Frightened men and women had once scattered before me as I walked these roads. The unnatural winter amplified the desolation. I wondered how I wound up in the city. One moment I was on Terra, and the next…

I slowed to a halt as a massive structure loomed ominously over the wreckage.

The Eidolon Wall…

The circular monument still stood, tall and unbroken. I felt uneasy as I approached it. The superstitions of the Gaians are ridiculous, I know, yet I swore I heard faint whispers flurrying about the entrance to the shrine

It was there, at the base of the Eidolon Wall, that I'd killed my first Gaian. I could no longer recall the guards' faces, yet so vividly I could recall the raindrops that shattered on their bodies. Everything was so new to me then. I had never experienced night or day… never felt sand beneath my shoes… never spoken to another besides my master…

Feeling wary, I entered the shrine. When I crossed the threshold, everything went eerily silent, as if I'd stepped into another world frozen in time. The only sound was the echo of my footsteps. Painted Eidolons on the stones skirted around me like an elaborate zoetrope.

I paused before the painting of Alexander, with his graceful, white wings. The artwork was beautiful, and somehow untouched, despite all the destruction. Farther down the wall I found a painting of Bahamut, and even farther down was Shiva, and Ramuh, and Madeen. Ah, Madeen… the defender of that Summoner child. To think, with all that power, Madeen disguised herself as nothing but a moogle.

Speaking of which… for some time I'd been aware of a pack of moogles following me through the ruins. Were they travelers, or had the moogles somehow made a home in the wreckage…? Either way, they were not a threat, and if they meant to send word of my appearance, well… we can all agree MogNet's speed leaves much to be desired.

Finally giving in to exhaustion, I leaned back against the Eidolon Wall and slid into the snow.

"Moogles in Madain Sari… What has the world come to…?"

I sat there for a long time, gazing up at the night sky. I felt impossibly small beneath the painted walls and pillars. I always felt small in Madain Sari. I had been little more than a child when I first arrived in the village – a naïve drone who could not understand why its actions were considered so abhorrent – why that one Summoner woman would not free me – why she cared so much. It was strange to think Jane had a home then, and a husband. Queen Garnet had been little more than a toddler at the time.

I realized I had never stopped to think about Garnet. Not truly. Was she happy growing up in Alexandria? Before her decline, Queen Brahne was a beloved woman, and the king was extremely kind. Was little Sarah better off for having been raised a princess? Certainly she filled the void left by the real Garnet's passing, but had the king and queen loved her as much as Jane and her husband had?

"What does it matter…?" I muttered, letting my head fall back against the wall. "It's over…"

Yet to think how many years of torment I put Garnet through… I destroyed everything she had ever known and killed her mother. I thought I had shown mercy leaving Garnet in the boat on the shore; I thought I had given her a second chance, yet our fates were so intricately intertwined that a decade later, I manipulated Garnet's new mother and killed her, too. Garnet had lived two lives, and I destroyed both of them.

"Hey!"

My reverie was interrupted by the sight of Lani standing at the entrance to the Eidolon Wall, shivering from the cold. I was overwhelmed with irritation.

"I mean you no harm, Lani, but do not test me."

Lani gripped her axe. "You are somethin' else, Kuja!"

I appeared an inch from Lani's face. Lani choked in surprise as a quick Paralyze spell immobilized her.

"Lani the Bounty Hunter…" I purred, leaning forward. "You seek justice for Queen Garnet, yet you were once willing to kill her for a reward. I do not deny for one moment that I am a villain, but where were you when the war broke out?! You were standing at Queen Brahne's elephantine side, same as I!"

Lani's eyes flashed with fear as I brushed a stray lock of hair from her face.

"You think because you did not commit crimes on a global scale, that somehow you are less evil than I am. Perhaps Queen Garnet would like to hear the story about Lord Edric. Or perhaps she would enjoy the story of Mayor Harrington and his tragic fall from the bridge? And let us not forget the time Lord Kolt hired you to retrieve the three concubines who fled his dungeon. They were practically children, yet you were more concerned with money than mercy. You think because your crimes were small, and mine were not, that somehow you are more worthy of forgiveness? Forgiveness is an illusion, Lani. It means nothing. So do not act as if your justice has any meaning if you cannot even face yourself in the mirror!"

Snarling, I waved my hand and released Lani from the spell. She staggered backwards, gasping. "Y-you sonnuva – !"

I warped back into the Eidolon Wall as Lani's blade crashed down on the barrier. Her eyes widened as she realized I had effectively sealed her from the shrine. With a cry of rage, Lani hacked at the force field.

I retreated into the darkening shrine and slumped against the wall. Lani eventually shouted herself hoarse and vanished. Night fell, and snow began to fall. Sitting in the darkness, I looked down to find the black blood of Terra still visible on my hands. The gravity of what I'd done at last began to settle over me. The cold, dead moon hung in the sky above like a gravestone.

Terra was gone. Truly gone. Everything I had ever been, everything I was meant to be… all of it was lost forever… I felt as if there was a hole in my chest, and the wind howled past its raw edges.

Why did I continue to linger…? There was a part of me – this sick, disgusting part – that almost wished… or perhaps envied the Genomes their soulless, clockwork existence. I had not initially resisted Garland's plans because it was easier not to. I did not want to have thoughts, because they led to doubt. I did not want to forge my own path, because it made me responsible for my failures. I found comfort in the void, and simultaneously despised myself for it. I hated the Genomes for their soulless apathy, but more so, I hated that they did not have to hate it, or feel anger, or wonder at any point where they should be, or why they were doing what they were doing. Every second I spent in Bran Bal was a reminder that I could not be like the Genomes: never happy, yet also never sad. No matter how I strayed from Garland's path, however, there had always been an endgame – a vague horizon to head for. I knew exactly how it was all meant to end…

Now the story was over, and I found myself staggering into the nothingness beyond. Zidane had damned me with his humanity. He was as much a fool as any Genome. For all his antics, he was as much a slave to existence as anyone. Zidane truly believed life was worth living simply for the sake of being alive.

And for how long…? I wondered. How long?! I shuddered as I realized I still did not know. I had plunged my fist into five thousand years of organic Terran data, yet nowhere in all those servers did I find the answer. If I had, I would simply know it now, as easily as one recalls a story, or the face of an acquaintance. It was all there, yet there was nothing that could tell me the answer I so desperately sought.

Overwhelmed with despair, I buried my face in my hands. Destroying Terra had not rid me of my burdens… it merely extinguished the last of my hope.

"Come to pray, little Terran?"

Peering through my fingers, I saw a woman ghosting along the edge of the wall. Her hair was like flames, and it lit the painted Eidolons as she passed them. When I blinked, however, the woman's face had darkened, and a moment later, I swore she was a man. A step closer, and from the woman's billowing robes I saw she had four arms, and the falling snow vanished before it touched her pale skin. I shook my head and laughed.

"Come for your revenge, Eidolon…?"

The woman smiled, but a moment later, her skin faded to blue and fangs grew over her lips. She folded two arms across her chest and peered down at me like I was an insect.

"We do not believe in revenge."

"…And who is 'we'…?"

The Eidolon's flesh wisped away and she was once more a man. As he spoke, however, he morphed back into a woman. Her flesh glittered like snowflakes.

"I am Asura."

"Asura…?"

The name was unfamiliar, despite the extensive research I'd done on Eidolons. Asura grinned as her teeth grew sharp and her skin drained back into shadows. I felt both sickened and amused by the events that were about to unfold.

"Poetic justice…"

Now a man, Asura tilted his head curiously. "Of what justice do you speak?"

"You are here to destroy me."

"You do not seem concerned."

"I will not fight you, Eidolon. I am done trying to face the gods."

Asura's male laugh softened as he morphed back into a woman. "Was that not the reason for which you were created…? An avatar sent to another world to incite havoc and destruction… Were you not the product of a mortal's quest to create a god?"

"If I am what Garland wished to see in a god, then it is no wonder his vision was doomed – and what god carries with it the imperfections of its maker? That is not a god, Asura, that is a puppet."

I felt as if Asura's eyes were boring through me like knives. "What is an Eidolon, then, without its Summoner?"

My amused apathy faded into apprehension. "…I do not know," I admitted.

"You do. What is an Eidolon?"

"…A… a legend."

"But what is a legend? Where does it come from?"

"From people. From their stories."

Asura's laugh was like ash in the wind. "Stories… legends… Ripples in a stream."

I gave Asura a wary look. "…What are you trying to tell me…? Why have you not killed me yet?"

The Eidolon's face darkened and her eyes began to glow. "The Terran people have existed for as long as there has been existence. They were mortal, yet they could create life. They consumed, and in turn were consumed. None existed who could defeat the Terrans, but some existed who could escape. Gaia was a refuge far from Terra's insatiable hunger."

"The Gaians… came from another world?"

"The original Gaians. The Summoners. Eidolons were born from their terror and desperation. The Summoners spread across Gaia, building and thriving, and soon, few were few left who remembered their guardians. Not a soul beyond Madain Sari could recall the darkness that lurked in the stars, and eventually, even the Summoners had utterly forgotten."

"…That is why Garland feared the Summoners… They had unknowingly prepared for him…" I murmured in astonishment.

"But legends are not gods, little Terran. They can weaken. They can be killed."

"I… I know… I did not understand then what I was doing. I was not made to protect or defend, only to destroy."

"You lie." Asura did not sound angry, and for some reason, I wished she did. "You returned to Madain Sari for revenge. You destroyed the Summoners because you were angry, and you enjoyed the power. You were created as a void, Kuja – an empty page on which Garland could scrawl his perfect soldier. You had unlimited potential; you could have become anything the moment Garland sent you to Gaia. We wept, young Terran, for all you could have been…"

There was genuine sadness in Asura's eyes, as though she was looking upon a stillborn. I tried to speak – to say anything – yet I had no words that could explain the feelings I did not myself understand. Asura kneeled suddenly before me and I pressed back against the wall in fear.

"You made two choices the day you burned Madain Sari. You chose to destroy the Summoners, and you chose to let two Summoners run free. You enacted an inevitability, yet you left variables in your wake. You were our annihilator and our savior – you are the reason we were defeated, and the reason we continue to survive."

"No…" I shook my head. "The Summoners are dead. They can never be what they once were. I do not even know how you are here before me."

"Echoes…" said Asura. "Ripples in a stream."

I hung my head in exhaustion. "What do you want from me?!"

Asura's face morphed, then morphed again. "I want you to listen, young Terran."

"You're speaking in riddles! There is nothing to hear! Most likely I have gone mad and I am talking to myself!"

"Then listen to yourself."

"And why should I?!" I staggered to my feet, enraged. "The first time I came to this village, a white mage had to mute me just to keep me from murdering her, and when she lifted the spell, she released me like a wild animal from its cage!"

The woman, the beast, and the man – all of Asura's expressions were unreadable. "You believe her compassion was a sin?"

"Yes!"

The Eidolons eyes went dull with sorrow. I waited for her to speak, but she didn't say a word. I couldn't bear to look at her any longer. I stumbled towards the shrine entrance. When I glanced over my shoulder, the painted Eidolons seem to dance like shadow puppets in the flames of Asura's hair. Her eyes met mine, and then she faded into the moonlight. I did not feel relieved or victorious… merely hollow… and angry.

When I stepped beyond the Eidolon Wall, the wind howled and snowflakes stung my eyes. I plunged into the blizzard and raced through the wreckage of Madain Sari. I had no destination in mind, yet my feet carried me down a path that narrowed until I reached the end of a pier. Falling to my knees, I stared into the black water churning below the cliffs. Chunks of ice crashed against the rocks, nearly capsizing the boats anchored to them.

"Is this what you wanted?!" I shouted into the water. Waves exploded against the pier and soaked my cloak. Furious, I wrenched Beatrix's book from my pocket and threw it as far as I could into the sea.

Suddenly, a hand seized the back of my collar. "Are you nuts?!"

Snarling, I twisted around and shoved the intruder back. Lani stumbled behind me, panting vapor into the air. She was little more than a silhouette in the moonlight, and her hair was white with snow.

"I… I heard everything…!" she gasped.

"Get out of here!"

"No! Not until I get some answers! Who are you?!"

"You know who I am!"

"That's not what I meant!" Lani pointed towards Madain Sari. "That was an Eidolon, wasn't it?! What the hell is going on?!"

I took a step forward, fists clenched with rage. "Leave. Now."

Lani refused to budge. "Are you even from Gaia?!"

"No! And neither is your precious Zidane!"

"I… I don't understand…!" I had never seen Lani look frightened, even the night I threatened her in Treno, but now she was wide-eyed like a child. My fists sparked with warning magic.

"Leave now or I will kill you."

"Why? So you can go jump off the pier?!"

I raised my hand to attack, but Lani suddenly shouted in my face.

"I repented, alright?! I paid my dues! Yeah, I hunted Garnet for money, but that was five years ago! Do you know what I've been doing with my bounty money since then?! I've been using it to help rebuild the world you destroyed!"

"Oh, how noble!" I sneered. "I was not aware you could buy forgiveness!"

"You're disgusting! You want forgiveness?! Really?! What have you done to help?!"

"I saved your wretched planet!"

Lani threw her head back, laughing. "You're unbelievable! Just when I thought you couldn't sink any lower!"

"You know nothing!"

"I know you killed the Summoner tribe!"

"I don't deny a thing. I know what I am."

"Yeah! A monster!"

"Absolutely. Manufactured to exact specifications."

"Enough of this, Kuja!" Lani raised her axe. "I'm done!"

"As am I!"

Lani recoiled as a streak of lightning lashed against her cheek. I waved my hand and a wall of magic threw her backwards. She fell onto the pier, but a moment later, I had to twist away as she flung a throwing knife in my direction. I countered with a fire spell, which rapidly engulfed Lani in a cocoon of flames. When they wisped away. Lani staggered to her feet, completely unharmed. For the first time, I faltered in surprise.

"You know black magic?!"

"I know lots of things!" Lani waved her hand and a wall of ice shattered against me. Several shards cut my face as I attempted to block the magic. Lani was too fast. Her axe swung from the darkness before I could put up any barrier. I caught the blade, but without magic to protect me, the metal sunk deep into my palms. Blinded by rage, I pushed against the axe and shoved Lani backwards. She hit the ground and cried out as a wheel of flames raced towards her. I raised my bloodied hands, preparing the final blow, when the pier shattered and we plunged into the sea.

What a nuisance… I thought, even as I hit the water. I'd been seconds away from ending the battle. As I slipped below the surface, however, the cold water seeped through my clothes and the rage bled away. I watched the surface fade away with morbid fascination. I was a Genome built to withstand extreme situations, so I had no concerns about escaping. Instead, I simply sank into the ocean and watched the rippling moonlight overhead.

"I feared the dark because I could not see what hid inside it…" Had I spoken those words aloud once? Or were they an echo of a thought? I could not recall. I had hated the dark once, and then accepted it as an inevitability I could not escape. I remembered sitting under a window in Alexandria, waiting for the night to end – and though the sun rose over the city the next morning, the sun never rose again for me.

Something flashed in my peripheral vision.

Lani… my mind registered slowly. Lani, the bounty hunter…

She was thrashing desperately against the current pulling her under, but the more she swam, the more she sank. Dark planks of wood gathered at the surface of the water like insects smothering the light. Refusing to give up, Lani reached desperately towards the moonlight. There was so much pain in her eyes – not a physical pain, but the pain of inescapable reality. I had seen that pain in thousands of eyes, right before their lives were extinguished. I remembered watching the light go out in Brennen's eyes, and how much I enjoyed it, but I did not enjoy watching Lani lose hope. Even when her eyes went dark, the pain in her expression never faded. Her arm went limp at last and the inky black water swallowed her away.

"There is only pain in this world, Kuja… There is pain because of people like you…"

I don't remember swimming after Lani, and I don't remember dragging her from the sea. I just remember that light at the water's surface, and a boat anchored to a rock near the shore. Treading water, I hoisted Lani's limp body over the side and then clung to the boat, exhausted. The fire from the pier was still burning on the water. As the fog lifted from my eyes, I became keenly aware of the seawater seeping into my palms. I bit down on my lip, hissing as the salt burned through the axe wounds. I shook my head and tried to focus. Lani seemed to be unconscious. Her lips were gray, and her dark hair drifted like seaweed in the shallow water.

"…No…"

I had to look away. I couldn't… It was as if I was caught in an infinite loop – a timeline spiraling over and over into eternity. Trying not to be sick, I reached into the boat and grasped Lani's shoulder. Her skin was cold. Though my own strength was waning, I forced several healing spells into her body. She didn't stir. Desperate, I tried every white magic spell I had ever learned, trying again and again to force life into a dead thief in Treno, a dead woman on a beach, a lifeless child, a silver dragon, a Black Mage. Why was anyone given life if they were only meant to die?!

Streaks of ice had frozen to my cheeks. It was all futile. The thief had become ashes in a gutter. The woman on the beach was sea foam. The lifeless child was a night that never ended. The dragon was a memory. The Black Mage was flowers in a graveyard. Releasing Lani's shoulder, I buried my face in the crook of my arm. It was never going to end, not so long as I existed. My rage destroyed Genomes who could have become people. My vanity nearly killed Zidane, whose only crime was a naïve insistence that I deserved to live. I was a child that broke its toys over and over, and then wept when they could not be fixed. The Crystal had teased me with some illusion of redemption, but it was a lie – !

"K… Kuja…?"

I raised my head and found a pair of dark, brown eyes gazing at me. Lani looked exhausted. She knit her eyebrows together and frowned weakly.

"Kuja, you… did you save me…?"

For some reason, I shook my head. Lani's expression became even more confused. Shivering, she attempted to sit up, but fell back quickly with a groan.

"…the hell…?" Lani gave me a strange look. "…Are… are you crying…?"

I shook my head again, despite the fact that any idiot with functional eyes could tell I was lying. Lani laughed and shook her head as if something was funny.

"…Why… did you save me?"

"Because I did not want you to die."

"…Why?"

"I have killed enough people."

Lani's weak laughter became a cough. "You tried to murder me… then saved me. You… really are… nuts…" Her voice faded and she closed her eyes. I was so damn tired. Of everything. We had to get back to shore.

"I surrender…" I murmured.

Lani frowned but didn't open her eyes. "…what are you… talking… about…?"

Before I could respond, I heard a small voice in the distance. "I found her, kupo!"

In the light of the fire, I could see several moogles circling overhead.

"Go away," I grumbled. "You are of no help here."

"You don't get to talk, kupo!" One of the moogles fluttered into my face, glaring. The others hovered worriedly around Lani.

"She's hurt!" one of them cried.

"You!" The angry moogle rounded on me again. "I know who you are, kupo, and I swear on all that is holy – "

"I'm trying to help!" I shouted, causing the moogle to tumble backwards in surprise. "You want to yell at me, fine, but right now, you're either helping, or you're wasting my time!"

The moogles were trying to pull the boat to shore. I released my hold to lighten the weight, then swam ahead of them to shore. When I staggered out of the water, I sat heavily in the snow and watched the moogles drag the boat from the ocean.

"You!" The angry moogle was suddenly in my face again.

"Me," I said lamely.

"You're going to fix this, kupo!"

"I tried." I shook my head. "But I am out of magic. If you have access to ethers, perhaps – "

"You think ethers just grow on trees, kupo?!" The moogle's wings fluttered furiously. "We've been out of supplies for a week now, kupo! And why should I give you anything when everyone knows you're a liar, kupo?!"

I stared at the blood crusted to my palms. I could no longer tell what had been there before, and what was new. "Do you think I would leave my hands unhealed if I had any other option? I told Lani I had surrendered. If you want to save her, fly to the closest village for help."

"There's no time for that, kupo!" Another moogle fluttered over. "Lani's hurt badly!"

I closed my eyes, exhausted. "There is… one thing I can do."

I concentrated all my mental energy on the Null spell I had erected to keep Mikoto from discovering my whereabouts. I felt itchy and exposed as I felt that extra layer of protection fade away. It felt even worse when I directed the fading magic towards the very person I was trying to hide from. I could feel Mikoto's presence alight with surprise when she realized I was trying to contact her.

"Kuja…?! Where – "

"Madain Sari. Lani the bounty hunter is gravely wounded. I have no magic, and she has little time."

"What are you – "

The connection dropped suddenly like a branch cut from a tree. All my magic had drained away.

"What the hell was that, kupo?" The moogles flurried around me.

"I sent a message. Help will arrive soon. In the meantime, Lani needs shelter."

The moogle gave each other a doubtful look, but they were as out of options as I was. Hoping to show that I meant well, I carefully lifted Lani from the boat and slung her over my shoulder. The moogles eyed me mistrustfully as they led me into the ruins of Madain Sari. They took me to a large building carved from a sandstone hill. It had a stone door, badly singed, and windows covered in cloth. Two of the moogles pried open the door while another ordered me to set Lani down in the small room to the left. There were blankets strewn across the floor, along with a fire pit and meager boxes of supplies.

"You live here?" I wondered as I carefully slid Lani down onto a blanket. She was completely cold to the touch.

"We've lived here for years, kupo, but when the cold came, this was the only place where we could stay warm. Lani was taking shelter with us, kupo."

"Impressive," I muttered, for lack of anything better to say.

"Enough talk!" The moogle I took to be their leader was glaring at me. "Lani's safe now, so you don't get to come anywhere near her, kupo!"

"I assure you I will not cause any harm."

The smallest of the moogles was suddenly beside me with a paw on my shoulder. "No…" she whispered in a strange voice. "You won't…"

I froze, wide-eyed, when I felt some sort of magic wash over me. When I whirled around, I saw a stone door already slamming shut. I stumbled backwards in the dark room and collapsed against the wall.

This… this can't be happening…

I sank to the ground and hugged my knees to my chest. I could feel the Mute spell pressing down around me from the walls and the ceiling. The entire room was infused in the magic like a living creature.

Timelines always circle back on themselves. It's an endless loop you cannot escape from. Time is a snake that eats its own tail.

And there is no way out…

No escape.

A/N: …whoops.