Chapter 4: Rules of a Princess
I cannot believe what I have just learned from Eve...that I still have a hard time calling her mother; will that ever change? She took me aside today, to teach me of all things about being a princess! I have never been a princess before now and sometimes I wish I were not. Especially after learning all the rules, so many! My least favorite is that everyone has to refer to me by my title, except for Eugene, mom and dad of course! I think it is ridiculous; my name is Rapunzel, not princess!
She and father looked so happy to see me in the throne room, and she seemed to try to comfort me when I got upset as she tried to explain the rules. She told me it was not my fault; of course, it was, as Mo...As that woman Gothel, taught me, I have too many faults. I am nothing but a big mistake! Everything I do is wrong.
I hate my life right now; I am more confused now than I was before. I feel like my life is speeding out of control now and so much has been given to me, so much duty. Will I ever truly be free? Am I just exchanging one tower for another? Is this just another gilded cage? What kind of princess will I make? I often wonder this question. I really do not see how I will be any good. I am not graceful and confident like mo...Eve. I am not brave and strong like Father. I am just me.
I am glad that mother and father are at least breaking one rule of princess hood, and that is the marriage rule. Apparently, a princess is supposed to marry another royal or no less than a high noble! Stupid isn't it? Still because of my situation and the fact that Eugene saved my life, mother and father are not going to forbid me from seeing him. I am so relieved, I would run away if they ever changed their minds.
I cannot go on without him, he is my heart, the only reason I have right now to laugh or dance. I know I was happy when I first came back but now that the celebrations over; well real life is setting in. I am so afraid that I am not up to it, and I am so afraid of failing my parents, of disappointing them the way I failed and disappointed mother Gothel. Sometimes I blame myself for her death, even though I know it was not my fault, she was a bad person.
I am smiling now because Eugene just brought me flowers, they are so beautiful, and he is smiling at me, maybe life is not so bad after all.