"Where the hell did he go? I swear to God I'm going to kill him!" I growled, determined to go after Bellamy. Finn stopped me while I tried to undo the hatch on the roof.
"Clarke, he's long gone by now. Plus I need you to stay here for the next 24 hours." Finn replied. I remained on the ladder that led to the escape with my mind still set on hunting Bellamy down. I wanted to know why he would compel me to forget something and what it was that he made me erase. He shouldn't have the right to just cut chunks out of my life like that.
"You said you almost died today. Did Bellamy save you?" Finn asked me. I turned around and nodded.
"Emerson tried to kill me. He drained a lot of my blood but Bellamy saved me by letting me drink his. He told me that your blood heals people." I replied. Finn ran his fingers through his hair and then forced me off of the ladder.
"Yeah that's what I thought. If you drink our blood it stays in your system for twenty four hours. If you die with our blood in your system then you turn into one of us. Clarke, if you go out there looking for Bellamy and God forbid Emerson or something worse kills you, you'll turn into someone like me." Finn revealed. I stumbled backwards and fell onto the bed, pulling at my hair. I'd never considered the fact that there was a way to make more vampires.
It was naive of me to think that what happened to them in the mountain was the only way to turn into an immortal vampire. The last thing that I wanted was to become a vampire. My mom would never look at me the same, I wouldn't be allowed back at camp with my friends, and I'd probably end up killing people. How would I live with myself?
"Clarke? Are you alright?" Finn asked, taking a seat next to me.
"It's been a long couple of days, I need to just sleep." I lied, crawling under the covers of their bed. Finn bit his lip and then turned around to look at me. I pulled the covers up over my shoulders and sunk back into the pillow.
"Can you blow out the candles?" I asked him. Finn walked across the room and put out all of the candles until the bunker was completely dark. This was when I knew it was finally safe for me to cry. The tears poured out of my eyes like waterfalls until I eventually cried myself to sleep.
The next morning I awoke to the sound of Finn slurping blood from a squirrel. However, I pretended like I was still asleep so that I could get a feel for whether or not Bellamy had returned. I listened as Finn walked across the room and sat down on the end of the bed. That was when I realized that Bellamy was still gone. I slowly let my eyes flutter open to meet his gaze.
"Hey…" He whispered, giving me a sympathetic look. I glanced around the room but there was no way to tell if it was daylight yet or not.
"How long have I been asleep?" I asked him.
"Maybe 11 hours? You fell asleep close to dawn and now it's the middle of the afternoon." Finn confessed. I couldn't believe how long he'd let me sleep.
"Where's Bellamy?" I asked, ready to kill him if he walked in the room.
"Bellamy never came back last night." Finn replied. He seemed slightly concerned whereas I couldn't care less if I ever saw him again. He'd taken away part of my life without my permission. I wanted to get out of this bunker before he got back.
"I need to go home and help my friends." I said, heading for the ladder again. Finn ran faster than me and blocked the exit.
"No way, not for another couple hours. I'm sorry princess but you're stuck here with me today." Finn said. I rolled my eyes and decided to scan the room for something productive to do to pass the time. My eyes instantly landed on a blank canvas and some old paints.
"You're an artist?" Finn asked while I set up the easel.
"I used to draw all the time when I was locked up in solitary, it helped calm me down." I explained. It was true, luckily when I was arrested I had two pieces of chalk in hidden in my pocket. I drew to pass the time and ease the pain of losing my father. Today I could draw happier things, things that my father always dreamed of seeing. I picked up the paint brush and dipped it in the dark blue paint to begin. Finn sat across from me and watched as my hand wove around the canvas.
"What are you painting?" Finn asked.
"The view from the other night when we were sitting on the treetops. I figure since we don't have cameras anymore this will be the best way to capture moments." I replied while I painted the stars in the sky.
"On the contrary, I happen to have a polaroid camera somewhere down here!" Finn exclaimed. He got up and dug through all of the drawers until he found the old camera. I couldn't believe it, only a few families on the council owned cameras.
"After the world ended I decided to go and scavenge for stuff. I like collecting things and documenting memories. I even found a video camera. Bellamy and I made stupid video diaries but the thing is busted now so the tapes won't play back. I'm kind of thankful actually, it's kind of embarrassing." Finn confessed. I was surprised that Bellamy would make video diaries, he didn't seem like the type to want to talk about his feelings. He seemed like the type to run away from his problems, just like he was doing now and just like he did 84 years ago.
Finn grabbed my hand and pulled me onto his couch to take a picture. We leaned our heads in so that they were touching and then waiting for the polaroid to print the picture. I smiled, seeing myself for the first time in several years. Then he took the picture and stuck it up on the wall. Finn and I sat in silence for awhile until I decided to take the opportunity to ask him more questions. The more I knew about them, the better chance I had to protect my people.
"So you were both attracted to Eliza, how did that happen?" I asked, trying to make conversation and understand the animosity between the two brothers.
"We met Eliza in Elementary school. She was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. She had this golden blonde hair just like yours that lit up any room like the sun." He began. I watched as he got lost in the memories. Life must have been so amazing back then. I can't imagine what it must have been like to live on Earth before all of this.
"She was everything any guy could dream of. She was the daughter of two very well respected politicians, she was the top of our high school class, she spent her free time volunteering, and she was always friendly to everyone she met. For awhile I just admired her from afar. I was part of the 'hipster' crowd and she was in with the popular kids. Eventually one day during my freshman year I offered to walk her home from school. We really hit it off and that night she went out with me to see a movie." He continued. I could picture it so clearly in my head, like I was actually there. We had so many movies to watch on the ark and I watched these kinds of romances play out on tv all the time.
"We dated for the next four years, until the bombs hit. She actually saved my life and Bellamy's life. Bellamy and I were next door neighbors our entire lives. His mom took me in after my parents disappeared when I was 14. That's why I call him my brother. Anyways, during my relationship with Eliza there was always something between her and Bellamy. I shrugged it off as just a close friendship, but the way they looked at each other killed me. It put up a wall between Bellamy and I that we just couldn't shake until the world began to collapse." Finn revealed. I had no idea that Finn lived with Bellamy before the bombs or that their fight over Eliza went back so far.
"Eliza overheard her parents talking about how they would be moved into Mount Weather in two days because a nuclear war was about to commence. She risked everything to sneak out and tell Bellamy and I what was going on. We packed our things, only what we could carry on our backs, and followed her to Mount Weather. When we got to the gates, the guards wouldn't let us in because we weren't part of the select few that would get to live. People in there were celebrities and politicians; civilians were left outside to die. Bellamy's mother did everything she could to convince them to let Bellamy, Octavia, and me into the Mountain but it was no use. We were running out of time and out of options. Word was getting out that bombs were on their way and everyone was going crazy. Bellamy's mom did what she had to do to save us. She attacked the guards and distracted them so that Eliza could sneak us in. Bellamy watched his mother die from a bullet to the brain as the doors to the mountain closed forever." Finn told me. No wonder why Bellamy is so cold, he watched his own mother die. I can relate, watching my dad getting floated was the most horrific moment of my entire existence.
"After we got inside and the explosion of the chemicals turned us into blood sucking demons everything went awry. So many people died from it, but somehow we survived. The transformation changed Eliza. She wasn't just some pretty girl from Washington DC, now she was a violent killer. She ended up having more in common with Bellamy than she did with me. They were like Bonnie and Clyde, running around terrorizing the grounders together. Bellamy insists that nothing sexual happened between them while she and I were together, but I don't believe him. Anyways, I was still trying to make things work with Eliza for years after the end of the world. We were in love, but our views on life didn't mesh anymore. We lived like this until the war. She and I got in a fight and she ran off to find Bellamy. When I went to get her back, she was already dead." Finn explained. Tears pricked in my eyes as I heard the pain in his voice. He really loved this girl and Bellamy tried to take her away.
I leaned over and pulled Finn in for a hug. He was still cold but he didn't feel as strong as he did before. I wrapped my arms around him tighter and buried my head in his shoulder. He lightly kissed my head which made my heart skip a beat. I pulled away to look at him, but before I could say anything he got up and put on some calm music.
"I'm sorry." He whispered as he sat back down next to me. He couldn't even look at me. I gently rested my hand on the sides of his face and turned him to face me.
"Do it again." I breathed. Finn looked me up and down, longing to be close to me. He hesitated at first, but then he lifted his hands and slowly pulled me towards him. I looked down as he leaned in and kissed me gently on my forehead. For the second time, I felt like I couldn't breathe. When he pulled away I couldn't keep my eyes off of his lips. He was so dangerous, mysterious, sweet, and breathtaking. I needed a little bit of that in my life. He was starting to make me feel even more alive despite the fact that he was dead. I leaned in, wanting desperately to feel his lips against mine. He didn't stop me, instead, he leaned in too until our lips locked. I closed my eyes and pictured every magical moment I'd spent with him these past few days. He helped me discover myself now that I'm on this fucked up planet and I couldn't be more thankful for that.
When he pulled away, I slowly opened my eyes and smiled at him. He looked completely blown away by what just happened.
"Clarke I shouldn't have-"
"Finn…" I breathed, kissing him softly again. I pulled away just enough so that I could speak but close enough that I could still feel his hot breath on my lips. We locked eyes for a moment, both of us unsure of what to do next but longing for each other. Just as I was about to lean in and kiss him again, the roof latch opened and down came Bellamy with blood all over his face.
I jumped up from the couch and ran at him with all of the power I could muster. I pulled out my knife and stuck it against his throat. I knew this wouldn't kill him but I really wished it would.
"How dare you?! You really are a selfish bastard!" I screamed. Bellamy rolled his eyes at me and looked to Finn for answers. He had no idea what I was talking about.
"You took my memories yesterday you asshole!" I screamed, cutting his throat slightly. Bellamy's eyes turned amber and I knew this wouldn't end well. Suddenly the tables turned and I found myself slammed against the wall with my own knife to my neck. Bellamy was standing against me with eyes blazing. His jaw was clenched so tightly that it seemed like it could be stuck like that.
"Bellamy let her go." Finn begged, trying to stand between us. I gulped, feeling the sharp blade against my skin.
"You know what Finn, you're right I should let her go." He said deviously. Bellamy grabbed me by my waist and threw me across the room so that I crashed into the headboard of the bed. I screamed in pain, clutching the back of my head that was probably bleeding. Now Bellamy was holding Finn against the wall.
"You fucking told her that I compelled her? Are you really so insecure about getting the girl again that you had to tell her that so she'd like you better? I never compel anyone unless there is a very important reason and you know that!" Bellamy snapped, spitting in Finn's face and clutching his neck tighter. I tried to focus on them but I was starting to lose consciousness.
"I told her that you compelled her because she had a right to know and unlike you I wouldn't ever lie to her!" Finn screamed back. Bellamy growled and threw Finn across the room so that he landed on the kitchen floor.
"You know what, fuck both of you! I don't even know why I'm still here!" Bellamy yelled, heading for the door. I look over on the floor where Finn was unconscious and I knew that if Bellamy didn't give me his blood again, I'd die on this bed and come back as a vampire.
"Bell-" I coughed, reaching out for him. He turned around and when he saw how dire my situation was, his eyes turned chocolate brown again. He jumped off the ladder and immediately ran to my aid, resting my head in his lap and giving me his blood to drink from his wrist. I looked into his eyes as I drank and noticed that the veins were popping out again, all of the blood I had lost must have been hard for him to resist, but he was doing it, for me.
Once I felt healed, I released his arms and gasped for air. He looked over at Finn, who was still unconscious, and then down at his hands.
"Why are you like this?" I whispered. Bellamy looked over at me and ran his hand through his hair.
"Because it's who I am, Clarke. I make bad decisions, I have a temper, and horrible things happen to everyone around me. I'm never going to change and you're just going to have to learn to live with that." Bellamy snapped. I sat up and rested my hand on his knee. I understood why he was this way. He'd lost everything and this was just the stage of grief he was in. There was good in him.
"You are all of those things Bellamy, you're a total dick and you run away from your problems, but there's still hope for you. I see that." I consoled him. I couldn't believe what I was doing, comforting someone who almost killed me several times this week, someone who threatened me, compelled me, and argued with me. But there was something inside of me telling me that he was worth it, he was worth saving.
"There's no hope for me, Clarke. Finn tried holding out hope for me to change for 120 years and I never have. Don't even bother." He argued.
"You see, I don't believe you. If there was no hope for you then you would have let me die three times now, but you didn't. You always come back and save me. You may be a total ass half the time, but there's still redemption out there for you." I told him sincerely. He looked at me with soft eyes and nodded, unsure of how to take a nice complement. I could tell he hadn't heard anything nice said about him in a long time.
"I just need some space for a little while." He whispered, taking my hand off of his knee and resting it on the bed. My whole body felt like it ignited at the touch, similar to how it felt when Finn touched me but just slightly more powerful. I couldn't put my finger on why it felt this way, so I just ignored it.
"Bellamy wait!" I called to him as he opened the latch.
"What did you compel me to forget?" I asked. Bellamy bit his lip and sighed.
"I'll tell you when you're ready to hear it. There's a lot I will tell you when you're ready to hear it." He replied. I nodded and watched him climb up the ladder. Before he left, he looked down at me one more time and smiled.
"Where are you gonna go? How long will you be gone?" I asked. I couldn't believe the words coming out of my mouth. Why did I suddenly care where he was going and why? What was wrong with me? Did I really hit my head that hard?
"May we meet again, Princess." He answered before running away at the speed of light. A breeze from him swept through the entire bunker and sent chills all over my body. I climbed up the ladder to secure the hatch before getting on the floor and holding Finn in my arms, patiently waiting for him to wake up.
Thirty minutes later, Finn woke up suddenly, completely startled by what had happened. I told him everything Bellamy said after he knocked Finn out and how Bellamy saved my life.
"Finn, I know that Bellamy saved me again and I have to wait another 24 hours for his blood to be out of my system, but that's not enough time. If I'm not back at my camp by sundown tomorrow Miller is going to come out looking for me. He's going to get himself and others killed!" I screamed.
"You can't leave Clarke, you know that." He repeated, still standing his ground.
"No. I'm not putting my people's lives in danger because I was stupid enough to pick a fight with Bellamy tonight. I'm going back now and you can either escort me or I'll go on my own." I said sternly. Finn knew how stubborn I was and that I was going regardless so he threw a couple things in his pack and groaned.
"Lead the way, princess."
A/N: Just so you guys know it pains me to write Flarke because I'm Bellarke trash. You probably already noticed but, (Hint hint: Flarke = Stelena and Bellarke = Delena) and you all know how that one turned out ;) Thank you for the kind reviews so far! I love them and I love writing this fic because it's a mashup between two of my favorite shows ever.