Hola.

Back again and ready to rumble.

So we left with a cliff-hanger. And now we see what happens.

I'll shut up and let you get to it. I hope you are enjoying it so far, and thank you very much for your reviews. They keep me young.

Random Reviewer: But aren't you only eighteen?

Me: Shouldn't you be reading this chapter? Gosh, stop acting like SEGA.

Disclaimer: SEGA knows which characters it owns that I'm using. Thank you for letting me use them, I guess.

Enjoy.

Chapter 4: Breathe Me

I was trying to think positive. But my body was already ahead of me.

I opened the door, holding my shame stick undisguised in the air for the world to see. The universe had spoken, and reality had decided my fate. And boy was it a crappy one. But that should be ancient history by now, shouldn't it?

Blaze examined the test carefully before her apologetic eyes fell on mine. I wanted to fight off her gaze, but something told me that it was best to not lose my only friend. Not that friendship could help me now.

She extended forward, giving me a hug. I held close, trying to feel numbness. I didn't want to let my ugly emotions show in this polite moment. After all, this was the hole I had dug for myself. Who was I to act like I deserved to be air-lifted out of it? I breathed her in—the comforting scent of lavender in the wake of my personal train wreck. Because if it wasn't obvious, I was expecting. And if it wasn't even more obvious, I couldn't be happier.

"You'll get through this," she said, as if it were her battle too. But it wasn't. Because we both knew that I was doomed to suffer alone. With her words, I released our bond with no idea how to respond.

"I'll try." That was all I had.

Her eyes dimmed like my new reality. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know, Blaze!" There I was, trying to lose my only friend. Call it a mixture of hormones, the absolute shock—but I didn't need this questioning.

"Calm down, Amy..."

"How?" I asked her, my voice cracking. "How am I supposed to calm down?

A sigh and a defeated shrug from her confirmed my worst suspicions. Exactly.

I let out a sigh of my own, closing my eyes and seeing a dark nothing. This was my reality now. Maybe this was why I had abstained for so long. It didn't take an idiot to know that sex complicates things. This thing growing inside me was living proof. I placed a hand over my stomach, looking at the mirror to envision the expansion that would occur over the next nine months. Holy crap.

This was real.

A parasite was growing inside me, feeding off of the life I'm not sure I want to live anymore. I frowned, my eyes staring weakly at the floor below me. I would become a mother with a father nowhere to be seen. I bit down hard on my lower lip, trying not to curse at myself in front of Blaze. I mean, I thought I had heard this story too many times to fall victim to it. Great, just when I thought I was done falling.

And I couldn't even be numb about this anymore. There was a baby involved.

"You need to schedule a doctor's appointment," Blaze then said, waking me from my unfortunate trance.

"No. I hate going to the doctor." I knew this was real. But I didn't need a doctor to confirm my sorry truth. I wasn't ignorant, and this wasn't bliss. But the more I thought about this...

The sicker I felt.

"But this isn't about you anymore," Blaze alerted me. I shook my head; it might as well be. I would face the reality of just wanting to be loved, and she and the others would go back to their lovely day to day. Nothing would change.

And as much as I didn't want to bring it back to her or them, their reality would always be bliss. And even when I tried to hide in my ignorance, I was still desperate and pregnant. Did the universe have no shame? But I was in no position to blame. This was all on me.

"Then what are you going to do?" I exhaled. It always went back to this question. I responded with silence.

"You can't ignore it, Amy," Blaze said, a hint of maternal reasoning on her breath. My mouth opened by reflex to reject her words. But she was right. And like usual, I was wrong.

"I know..." I replied, raising my head to meet mother dearest's worried glance. I was always worrying her. I was a terrible friend. But I would make a worse mother. Especially under these circumstances. But that didn't mean that I didn't have opinions. Even if they were pretty grim.

I don't know if it was a change in the look in my eye, or an even harsher air ceasing the atmosphere. In any case, Blaze caught onto me before I could even contemplate it further. I suppose friendship isn't something that two share equally. Blaze could always read me better than myself.

Her eyes widened, landing sharply on mine. "You wouldn't."

I looked away, now considering the possibility. "I could."

I could be selfish like Scourge who left me here with two unsightly options. And who was Blaze to act higher and mightier just because she was?

"Don't dictate what I can do with my body," I fought back. I didn't want tom make her mad, but I didn't want to be pregnant either.

"Don't be defensive," Blaze shot me down, probably aware of me trying to change topic in the worst possible way. She then placed a hand on her hip, reminding me that she was superior. As always. "If I did, you wouldn't be in this situation."

Clenching my hands into fists, I heaved away the tears threatening to spill from my pathetic eyes. Because what good would come from crying? My fate was already sealed. Why rebel?

"Sorry," she apologized, coming closer. I shook my head, extending out a hand to stop her.

"Don't be." I reached over to get my bag, feeling this confrontation come to a bitter, unsatisfying end. "I'm sorry."

Sorry that I had abused her hospitality and hid my relationship from her. I was sorry that I was an awful friend. Nope, she didn't have to be sorry about anything. She had done everything right. I was the sorry excuse.

Pressing my lips together in a straight line, I breathed in the cold silence. Because as much as the two of us could discuss this, as much as Blaze probably wanted to help, and as much as I just wanted to know what happiness felt like for more than a few days, words couldn't make amends here.

And how I felt didn't matter anymore.

I didn't force a smile in an effort to assure her that I was okay. I wasn't okay, and I was sick of playing games. Especially when I never won.

"I just need to be alone to process the news," I said, heading for the door.

"...Okay," Blaze replied reluctantly. But what more could she do? She had opened my eyes, exposed that when I thought life couldn't get crappier, it could in a heartbeat.

"Thanks for everything, Blaze."

"I'll call you later, then." I nodded.

"Goodbye."

Goodbye to life as I knew it.

Which wasn't much of a life, to be honest. I drove in a harsh silence, confounded by how stupid I really was. My whole existence relied on running after some guy and hoping they would love me. But hope had proven to be useless. And as they went off to live their lives, wherever they were, I was stuck with the ramifications.

In my haze, I contemplated going home. But what good would that provide me? As much as I wanted to be alone in my misery, I was tired of it. And today's news just proved that I would continue to be restless.

Who do I even tell? I had a dirty little secret that would be exposed very soon. I took a turn, remembering that I was still driving. Driving my life in an unknown direction.

That being said, I could keep it to myself until I was forced to come clean. Or I could get rid of it. But misery did love company...

But I don't think a child could mend the contused space in my heart.

I squinted my eyes at the piercing mid-afternoon sun. Bright as always, mocking a miserable me. In the upcoming distance, I could see Merriment Plaza come into view. Merriment. I scoffed, whatever outcome of this, I would never be happy again.

As I drove past, I thought of Phil, even Cream in all of her lovely delusion. As much as I didn't want to care, I was mad at them. Mad at Cream for broadcasting how much better her love life was then mine without the slightest bit of consideration of my feelings—and for being right about me being a whore. And a knocked up one at that. Mad at Phil for ever encouraging Scourge to become a part of my life. But there I was, blaming innocent people again.

And I was hungry. I listened to my stomach protest, like a baby would, crying like there was a reason to. Causing me to suffer when there were two who were responsible.

I wasn't going to be doomed to do this alone, damn it! It wasn't fair! And I know what everyone said to that, that life isn't always fair, but I was tired of being life's lab rat. Always tempted with an escape to freedom, only to be utterly stuck.

I arrived to the place that was the source of my aggression. Sage Ridge.

I opened my car door, forcing myself out, kicking my feet out into the defenseless air. Marching up to his front porch, I didn't have to double take to notice the weeds still growing through the pavement cracks, or the mail that still wasn't collected pooling around the mail box. It didn't matter. I had more pressing matters that needed to be addressed.

Pummeling a fist against the mint green door, when I heard no sign of life, I brought the twin to that fist to join it against the cold, unresponsive entryway.

"Open up!" I screeched, probably coming off as crazy and desperate to the neighbors next door, but I was. I mean, here I was, a damsel in distress, desperate for my back-stabbing prince to return.

"Why did you leave me like this?!" Like I was trash, worthless and defiled by his hands?

I knocked harder, my hands burning in a sensational pain. I numbed it out, stomping my foot at the closed door—him—that mocked me in silence.

I swallowed the resentful air around me, my nose flailing as I tried not to break in this harsh stillness. "Is it because of her? Are you happy with Fiona?" Silence.

"Don't you even care?" Nothing.

I exhaled deeply, letting my tension die like my heart already had. This was ridiculous—I was ridiculous—banging on closed doors for answers that only he had. And that was what made the whole thing unbearable. I didn't know. I. Did. Not. Know.

I knew I was pregnant. I knew I was stupid. But other than that, where exactly had I gone wrong? I loved. So did the others. How come I was the only one suffering?

My knocking ceased, as I allowed my back to slide against the sealed door, until I hit the rock bottom pavement. "Of course you don't care," I sighed, staring straight ahead at the empty, dimming road that was now my life. I wiped a stray tear on my face. But I had been crying too much to fall apart in the face of unresponsive doors and a miserable reality. You know, if you didn't call this falling apart.

As I sat down, I allowed the cool, gentle May wind to caress my body, causing a shiver to ripple through me. With the cold embrace, it dawned on me that perhaps the saddest thing wasn't him leaving. These past weeks wouldn't have so unbearable if I kew there was light at the end of the tunnel. But I didn't see my hell on earth ending anytime soon.

"When are you coming back?" I asked to no one in particular—the wind, I suppose, as it caressed my cheek in his absence. I placed a hand on my belly, blocking out the image of what was growing inside. But even if Scourge did come back...

He wouldn't want me.

Aww, poor Amy.

Things will get better. Maybe. Probably not. Never.

Wait and see! Good thing I update frequently. :)

Please review, amigos!