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Layia set her drink down on the table before getting comfortable on Joe's lap again. All the men were looking at her expectantly, Bodie even had one of his eyebrows raised. "Godfather" She answered quickly before bringing the glass to her lips. The liquor coated her tongue, burning just right as it flowed down her throat. That got her an appreciative nod from the men. Girl not only knew her drinks but she could handle them, warranting her automatic respect.
A half hour had passed with mixed conversations and more alcohol flowing freely before Layia decided she needed more than the liquor. She knew Joe had some in his pocket and getting it would certainly irritate Billy who was mildly calm now. Call her crazy but Layia enjoyed giving Billy a hard time and getting him riled up.
She shifted on Joe's lap then slipped her hand into the front pocket of his jeans. Her fingers had just wrapped around what she was searching for when Billy noticed the action. Anger flashed in Billy's azure hues but was gone just as quick as it came, replaced with his usual impartial gaze. Was she actually giving his brother a hand job...in front of him? "Get your fuckin' hand out of Joe's pocket." He snarled, just because he didn't reveal his irritation in his eyes didn't mean he wanted this spectacle to continue.
"Relax your highness, I'm not grabbing for his 'gun'." She said as she started pulling the cigarette pack out of its denim clad confines. "Then what the fu…" Billy stopped mid-question when he saw her dangling the cigarettes up for him to see. Billy cocked his eyebrow at Layia. At least she wasn't getting his brother off but she certainly took her sweet time getting the smokes out his pocket. She knew exactly how to get under his skin, much to Billy's annoyance.
Layia scoffed. "Is someone jealous of the attention their brother's getting?" 'Overreact much', she thought as she searched her jacket for her Zippo. Found it. Taking a cig out of the pack she placed it between her lips and brought the flame to life, lighting another of her bad habits. Her eyes fluttered closed for a brief moment as she took her first drag. She hadn't had one all day and having the smoke flow through her again was heavenly.
"I ain't got nothing to be jealous about sweetheart." Billy calmly replied, already back to his usual disposition.
"Ya sure about that?"Layia retorted.
Billy's lips rose in a confident smile. "It ain't his dick ya gonna be begging for." The men were used to and approved of Billy's cocky and blunt nature, his latest declaration didn't surprise them in the least.
She leaned across the table in a daring manner, her eyes staring straight into Billy's. "I don't beg."
Billy snorted, he didn't doubt it but he was going to change that statement. "We'll see about that darlin'." Layia nodded, she was up for the challenge.
Once her Zippo was tucked in her jacket Layia leaned against Joe, savoring the effects of the smoke stick. "Thanks Joe." She handed him back his pack before taking another inhale. "No problem." He replied as he stuffed it in his jeans, trying to think about anything other than the effect her hand in its previous precarious position had on him. No wonder Billy was keeping his temper in check. The girl was a damn force of nature, and Billy wasn't about to fuck up his chances of banging her.
The group had gone through a bottle of whiskey, a few beers and over a dozen dirty jokes, half of which came from Layia to the surprise and amusement of the men. It started off with Tommy telling the latest joke he heard on the streets.
The Queen was visiting one of Canada's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.
"Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this?"
The doctor leading the tour explains, "I'm sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly."
"Oh, I am sorry" said the Queen.
On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job.
"Oh my God", said the Queen, "What's happening in there?"
The Doctor replied, "Same problem, better health plan."
That brought on bouts of cackles and chortles, even a couple of howls from the men. Layia laughed so hard she almost spilled whiskey all over Joe. When she recovered she came back with a joke of her own.
A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free."
The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!"
Fits of laughter erupted from their corner in the back as any remaining doubts the men had about Layia being able to handle their crass behavior were forgotten. She was just as bad as they were.
"Ya all know there are four kinds of sex right?" Baggy asked looking around with the table with a grin. Everyone donned their own mischievous expressions, waiting for him to continue.
"HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.
BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.
HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU."
COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got."
Laughter rippled through Layia so hard that her stomach began hurting."If that's what ya think is going to happen to your sex life than you guys are hanging out with the wrong women." She added through her laughter. Heco, Bodie and Joe nodded their heads in agreement, the rest of the men were still guffawing.
"Okay, I got another one for you." Layia took a long pull of her cold beer before telling them the joke.
A guy comes home from work, walks into his bedroom, and finds a stranger fucking his wife. He says, "What the hell are you two doing?" His wife turns to the stranger and says, "I told you he was stupid."
That went on for the next hour in between shots and smokes. Layia had taken off her jacket in that time, finding that the excessive drinking and laughing was making her body too warm to be comfortable in it. Baggy had fallen off his chair from laughing so hard at one point in the night, causing an uproar of sniggers from everyone else, to which Baggy angrily replied "Fuck You All." Finally Bodie ended with this joke.
Three sisters wanted to get married, but their parents couldn't afford it so they had all of them on the same day. They also couldn't afford to go on a honeymoon so they all stayed home with their new hubbies. That night the mother got up because she couldn't sleep.
When she went past her oldest daughter's room she heard screaming. Then she went to her second daughters room and she heard laughing. Then she went to her youngest daughter's room and she couldn't hear anything.
The next morning when the men left the mother asked her oldest daughter, "Why were you screaming last night?" The daughter replied "Mom you always told me if something hurt I should scream."
"That's true." She looked at her second daughter. "Why were you laughing so much last night?"
The daughter replied "Mom you always said that if something tickled you should laugh."
"That's also true." Then the mother looked at her youngest daughter. "Why was it so quiet in your room last night?"
The youngest daughter replied "Mom you always told me I should never talk with my mouth full."
Billy slammed his fist down on the table, his deep laughter echoing through the bar. He hadn't said any jokes tonight but he had enjoyed listening to them. Joe was clutching his sides as he howled with laughter while Layia steadied herself by holding on the table. She was almost in tears from laughing so hard. Dog's head was resting on the table, his fist silently hitting the hard surface as he chuckled. It took everyone awhile to calm down from that one.
When they finally did it was 2am and Sammy was starting to close up. Empty bottles and shot glasses were strewn over the table along with cigarette butts. Layia knew it was time to go. She had been in the bar with them for hours. After taking one last drag of her second cigarette from Joe she put it out and set the butt with the rest of them. Then she stood up, patting Joe on his leg and winking at him as she did. "It's been fun boys, but yours truly has shit to do." She grabbed her jacket from where she had haphazardly placed it and threw black covering on before walking over to Billy. Layia leaned down to play with him one last time before she left that night. She placed her lips by his ear like she had earlier and rested her hand firmly against his chest, tracing small circles with her fingers. "See ya later stud." Her voice had become a sultry whisper.
With a final grin and wave to the nine men that ran most of Boston Layia walked gracefully out of the bar and into the cool night air that the city decided to offer.
I just couldn't resist throwing those dirty jokes in there, they seemed like something the guys would say and get a kick out of. Hope they made you guys laugh. The next chapter is going to give some more insight into Layia's life. Will update soon.