A/N: I own nothing. I see no point whatsoever in disclaimers in fan fiction, since by the very definition of fan fiction the writer does not own the material he is using. Unless of course you do happen to hold the rights to whatever your writing, but if that's the case why not just make your story into an actual book/episode/movie/comic/song about it?

I made a few alterations to the story, so that Brick is still going to Middleton High, but otherwise it should be the same. You may wonder how I'm going to have Ron get on the team with Brick still there, but don't worry. If this series extends long enough I have an answer for that.

Sitch of the Living Dummy

Chapter 3

By MaceEcam

Kim and Ron skidded into home room right as the bell rang.

At least, they thought they had, until Mr. Barkin handed each of them a stack of homework.

"But Mr. B, we made in before the bell was done ringing." Ron complained at him. Barkin answered with a glair and a scowl.

"The bell does not decide when class starts Stoppable, I do! Now take your seat."

Grumbling, Ron took his seat next to Kim. She gave him a reassuring smile, but turned to the board when she heard Barkin speak.

Barkin began marching back and forth along the front of the chalkboard. "As you all know, at the beginning of the semester you were assigned a creative presentation where you all have had to learn a new talent. Your family and friends have all been interviewed to find out things you are good at, so don't even try to pass off something you could already do beforehand!"

"I had been hoping that the teacher who gave you this assignment would be back from the hospital by now, but Ms. Megami is still recovering from having seconds in the cafeteria. So it is with the greatest regret I allow this farce to continue, with the pitiful hope that the time you have spent trying to 'better yourselves" hasn't been wasted. Best, your up first"

The majority of the presentations passed quickly, with a few taking longer than most. Still, no one had gotten hurt yet, which really was first for a Middleton High School class. Bonnie went up to do her presentation, but by that point Ron wasn't paying very much attention to the whole thing. Instead he had pulled Slappy out of his backpack and started preparing him for his turn.

Patting down the dummy to make sure it's clothes were nice and straight, Ron was surprised when he felt paper rustling in the dummies tuxedo pocket. Reaching in Ron pulled out what appeared to be a business card, flipping it over he found some strange foreign word.

"Just great," Ron thought to himself. "I bought a foreign dummy. I hope he has his green card."

That brought a chuckle to Ron's lips, and a glare from Mr. Barkin. Silencing himself, Ron looked back at the card and struggled to pronounce the words."Karru marri odonna loma molonu karrano",

The dummy shifted slightly in his lap. He straightened it so that Slappy wouldn't slide again and returned his attention to the words on the card. At fist he thought it may have been Latin, but he and Kim had taken Latin the pervious year and while it may not have been his best class (no salsa dancing or salsa!) none of the words looked familiar to him.

"Well what the heck does that mean?" Ron thought, but was interrupted from his musings by Barkin. "Stoppable, your up!" Startled from his thoughts, Ron quickly stood up and stumbled into the aisle and made his way up to the front of the class. Mr. Barkin cleared a space off on his desk for Ron to sit on for his act, and Ron sat down.

He stood up again with a yelp. Turning his head, he saw that he had sat on a pen. As the class laughed at him and Mr. Barkin disposed of the offending writing utensil he tried sitting down again, this time making sure the area was clear before sticking his but down again.

"Uh- hi everyone, I'm Ron- um. The talent that I learned over the past few weeks was ventriloquism."

One of the teens raised his hand. Unnerved by a question so early in his presentation, Ron asked him what his question was.

"Dude, what's ventriloquism? Is that like, a school word or something?"

"It means the dummy's using dummies" Bonnie whispered not so quietly then snickered about it.

"I'm beginning to hate that joke" Ron thought to himself before answering. "Ventriloquism is an act of stagecraft in which a person manipulates his or her voice so that it appears that the voice is coming from elsewhere"

"Yeah!" The dummy interrupted all of a sudden. "Kind of like I'm making this dummy say what I want!"

The crowd burst out laughing, but Ron froze. He hadn't made the dummy talk.

At first Ron thought that some one else in the class had projected their voice, but he had seen Slappy's mouth move. Turning the dummy over took a look at it's face.

"What are you looking at big ears?" Slappy demanded of him, causing another concave of laughs and giggles.

Panicking, Ron tried to pull the dummy off of his arm. It wouldn't budge.

"What's the matter, cat got your tongue?" Slappy said out loud so that the whole class could hear. Caught up in the moment, no one noticed Ron's distressed face.

"Dude, you're pretty good!" Brick Flag, who was sitting near the front of the class, yelled up to him. Slappy turned to him.

"Thanks, and you're pretty ugly!"

The laughing had died down some after that one. Brick was the Quarterback of the football team, and you did not call the Quarterback - or anyone for that matter - of the football team ugly. Brick looked hurt.

"Dude, that was harsh!"

"It wasn't me-" Ron began but was interrupted by Slappy. "You're right, I'm sorry. Calling you ugly was an insult to ugly people! Kidding kidding!"

"Stoppable, I think that's enough." Mr. Barkin began.

"Yeah Ron, those jokes aren't funny" Kim admonished. None of these jokes were the ones Ron had practiced, and she didn't understand the reason for the change. The other jokes were funnier and nicer. Brick, meanwhile, was stuck between fury and hurt, while Bonnie was trying to assure him that he was in fact, not ugly. The whole time though she couldn't help thinking about the pounding Brick was about to give Ron. She smirked; the loser deserved it.

Slappy looked down and away as if embarrassed. "Sorry about the jokes at you kid. Will you forgive me?"

"Uh, sure, I mean yeah" Brick answered slightly ashamed of his anger at a block of wood.

Ron was panicked. An over sized doll was trying to get him killed!

"You know, I bet the two of us could be good friends. My name's Slappy. What's your's?

"Brick no!" Ron yelled out

"Brick huh?" Slappy stated, looking thoughtful. "As in 'dumb as' ?"

All hell broke loose.

"Why you little-" Brick yelled at Ron lunging at him after finally losing his temper. There are several yells of alarm as Brick brought his fist back and slammed it at Ron. Yelling in surprise Ron lifted both of his arms up blocked with Slappy; Brick's fist hit Slappy in the head; the upper head snapped back and the slammed forward again.

Clamping shut on Brick's fingers.

"GAHHH!" Brick yelled. Both Bonnie and Barkin ran forward and grabbed the sides of Slappy's head and tried to pry the mouth open, all the while screaming at Ron to let him go while Ron was screaming that he wasn't doing anything and Brick just screaming at the pain. Kim, thinking clearly, ran to get the nurse.

As soon as she was gone, Slappy opened his mouth. Brick stumbled back moaning at the pain, and Barkin took a look at his hand.

"It looks like it may be broken." he sighed. "When Possible gets here with the nurse, you go with her to her office.

Bonnie rounded on Ron. "Now look what you did loser! You broke Brick's fingers, how is he supposed to catch a football now?" She demanded. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

Before he could answer, Slappy interrupted him with a gagging sound. "Uh gross, jock! I think I might throw up!"

And with that he opened his mouth wide open. A dark green liquid of some sort shot from his mouth, spraying Bonnie with a stream that died down after a few seconds.

Bonnie stood there mollified, arms out stretched as the smelly green goo slowly dipped off of her, the whole class holding their noses and trying not to gag at the smell. Tara rushed up to help clean Bonnie off, but was stopped by Barkin when she got to the front of the class.

"Rockwaller, go clean yourself off." Bonnie walked out of the room, hoping to get to the gym and in the shower before anyone saw her. She still hadn't said anything, she was so in shock. As she left, Barking rounded on Ron.

"Stoppable," he began in a quite voice. When Ron tried to defend himself, Barkin raised a hand for him to be silent and continued. "Ron I don't know why you did this, and frankly I don't care. Brick Flagg may have several broken fingers because of you. I want you to go sit down, and after school I want you in my office so we can discuss your punishment. No, don't say anything. Just go. Sit. DOWN."

Ron moved to sit down. Right before he took a step, he felt the dummy fiddling with his pants for some reason, but was to busy listening to Barkin he didn't give it much mind. As he took his first step his pants fell down and he fell forward; with a yell he grabbed the nearest thing next to him. He felt it fall down with him, and a moment later he was laying on top of whatever it was with his face face down between two bumps. Reaching up to one of the bumps he gave it a squeeze.

"Ron, why are you groping me?" came a sweet , yet impatient sounding, voice.

Ron froze. Tara. He had knocked Tara over and landed on top of her, and was now squeezing her chest.

With his pants around his ankles.

This day couldn't possibly get worse.

Just then, the door to the classroom opened up and Kim came in followed by the nurse. "Mr. B. I brought the-" she paused and stared at Ron.

Ron got up, pulled his pants on and pulled Tara up. "You know Ron, I usually wait till the third date before I let it go that far."

Ron blushed. Avoiding Kim's ticked off gaze, he returned to his seat. Kim was about to return to her's, when Mr. Barkin tapped her on the shoulder.

"I know I'm going to regret this…but we have time for one more presentation today, and you're up."

Kim approached the front of the class. She walked out into the hallway for a moment, and retuned with a desk-on-wheels with a blanket over it covering several items.

'I had to receive special permission from the school to display my new talent. I'm-" and here she pulled off the blanket, "cooking!"

Several students tried to climb out the window.

"Calm down everyone, it's only instant oatmeal. And just on the safe side, the Middleton Fire Department has already been notified and are on alert."

Not at all daunted by Barkin's words, Kim plugged in the camping stove and turned it on to a low setting. Then she placed a pan on the stove and added the oatmeal mix, then added water from one of several prepared water bottles. She started stirring.

Soon the oatmeal was done, and after making sure the stove was off she poured the oatmeal into dozens of little cups and handed them out to the class. Several students showed fear and apprehension when given their cups, but Ron wasn't worried. He had spent a lot of time with Kim getting this down, and was very confident that she could pull it off. Besides, even if she did badly her presentation couldn't be as bad as his, what with the evil dummy and all-

Oh no.

With alarm, Ron franticly glanced around the room trying to find sight of Slappy. He hadn't picked him back up after the Tara incident, and had just noticed.

When Kim handed him his cup he wiped the worry off his face and replaced it with a look of support for Kim. Still irritated at him from the scene with Tara, she ignored him and went on. As soon as she had passed, Ron spotted Slappy. A look of horror crossed his face.

Slappy was sitting on the desk that Kim had brought in, having climbed up there while all of the attention was turned toward Kim. While Kim had turned off the stove, Ron doubted that she had unplugged it yet, and sure enough after giving him a wink Slappy proceeded to fall over. As he fell, his arm shot out; when he landed it "happened" to land on the dial on the stove, turning it on to it's highest flame.

As the flame shot up into the air, it produced much more smoke than the one created while cooking the oatmeal. It was just enough smoke in fact to set off the sprinklers and fire alarm.

"STOPPABLE!" Barkin screamed at him. However the yelling voice didn't affect Ron at all compared to the look on Kim's face. It was a mix of anger and sorrow, a look of hurt.

"Why?" she asked Ron. And then she turned and fled the classroom.

A/N: This is by for the longest chapter yet of the story, and quite possible could have been broken down into two but I wanted to get the school scene out of the way. I'll try to get a new chap out ever 1-2 days if I want this finished by Halloween.