Chapter 4: Weird

-o-o-o-o-o-

Slyly, Eric Cartman shifted his gaze towards Kyle whom was bent over his desk, neurotically scribbling down math notes.

Cartman crumpled up a piece of paper, and shoved it in his mouth. Butter gave a nervous glance as he chewed it. A glob of papier-mâche ejected across the room and directly slapped against the back of Kyle's neck. "Fucking fatass." He hissed, spinning around.

"Excuse me Mr. Broflovski?" the lecturer cocked an unamused brow and Kyle mumbled an apology, sinking back into his seat.

Butter felt immediately sorry. Cartman was terrorizing poor Kyle again, and the professor thought it was his fault. "Gee E-Eric, that's not very nice." He whispered, only to be met with a fierce look. "Do you mind gaywad?" He crumpled up another paper. "I'm busy"

-o-o-o-o-

"Bebe…" Stan awkwardly shifted where he stood while Bebe didn't even look up from her textbook. "Hmmm?"

It was studyhall, a class they shared in the library. He continued in a low whisper. "I have to ask you a serious question."

"What?" she snapped, eyes still glued to the text. Stan took a seat across from her, and yanked her textbook away. "I'm not kidding Bebe, I need your full attention."

She folded her arms and pursed her lips in her typically sassy manner. "What Stan? Need more time with my cleavage?"

He groaned, massaging his temples. "Bebe, do you remember your birthday??"

And this is when she brightened, a glimmer of naughtiness in her face. "Hell yea" she grinned.

"Well, I mean, tell me if I just sound crazy but did you and Kenny, and well….. me, have a, type of…. threeway …?"

She stared at him, long and hard, her baby blues confused and Stan almost allowed himself to feel a bit of relief.

"DUH"

Almost.

"Bebe what the hell!?"

"Well you asked!"

"No Bebe, I meant…." He grabbed at his hair, " HOW did we have a fucking threeway-"

Her eyes darted around the library, tinting to a shade of red at the attention he was stirring. "Stan shhhhh."

"Don't tell me to SHHHH" he spluttered, slamming his hands down. "You tell me we had a threeway and I don't even god damn remember! How can I shhhh??" Voice raising with the emotion that was crashing through him, he felt sick. "And in front of KYLE!?" The entire library was now looking over in bewilderment. "WHY in christs name has no one mentioned to me that I FUCKED YOU AND KENNY?!"

Moments later, two burly security guards were escorting the young students out of the library. Bebe, scarlet with humiliation kept her eyes firmly on the ground while Stan struggled manically.

One of the security guards clicked into his walkie-talkie, "Affirmative. We got the nutcase safely out of the library."

"I didn't even DO anything!"

"Son, are you on crack?" One of the guards asked.

"No!"

He turned to his partner. "Cavity search him anyway."

Stan squeezed his eyes shut. "God… DAMMIT"

-o-o-o-o-

The bell finally shrilled. Sweet release. Kyle hurriedly gathered all his books, flung on his backpack and flew for the door, but a large burly hand clamped his shoulder. "Heyy Kaahhhhl."

Forcefully spun around to face his tormenter, Kyle diverted his gaze, knowing it safer than to make eye contact.. "What do you want?" He muttered.

"Why Kyle. I only wanted to hang out." Voice like sugar, Cartman was in a playful mood. He flung an arm around his neck and dragged him into the hallway.

"I don't have time for this Cartman!" he protested gruffly but of course his body was no match for the football player. Hands gripped his shoulders and he found himself stuffed into a dark metallic hole.

"CARTMAN! YOU FUCKING FATASS!' Kyle roared, banging against the locker door but Cartman widened into a grin. He flexed his muscles, unconsciously. "Well gee Kyle, this was fun, but I don't really feel like hanging out anymore."

"CARTMAN!"

"See you in class tomorrow!" he strolled down the hall, whistling a nonchalant tune while Kyle's banging was the only sound remaining in the empty school hallway.

"God dammit." He slid down, curled up in the cramped space with little light that streamed from the locker slits.

Life sucked so hard sometimes.

Trapped in this little space while assholes roamed free. Who would come save him now? His best friend was mad at him for… well… god knows what, and Kenny was probably high

"Are you ok?"

"Stan?!" His eyes lit up and he stood immediately, peering through the slits.

"H-hi Kyle." His mood fell again to find a sweetfaced mop-haired blonde instead. He waved nervously and Kyle frowned. "Butters?"

"H-how you doin'?"

"I'm great."

Butters stared at the green locker in front of him, envisioning Kyle through it. But all that he could really see were his sparkling green eyes staring out from the darkness of the locker slits.

"Your eyes are really pretty." A pause. Butters heart thudded, why did he say that?

Kyle just sighed and turned around, leaning his back against the cold metal steel. Butters was so awkward. All the time. "God dammit butters, just shut up and get me out of here"

"W-well gee, how do I do that?"

"I don't know, use your brain!"

"Oh. Um. Ok."

He stared at the air in front of him blankly, obviously in deep concentration. Kyle slapped his forehead . "Did your mom sniff glue when she was pregnant with you?"

Fumbling with the wallet attached to his pants, Butters unclipped the safety pin and jostled with the lock a bit. After a couple moments, a click sounded, and the door swung wide open. Kyle fell backwards, directly on top of Butters.

It was like a dream, as Butters laid there with while Kyle briskly stood up, brushing himself up. "Oh sorry…"

"That's okay Kyle." He replied with a daze. Kyle extended a hand, helping him up and the friends found themselves eye to eye. He was giving him that look; the look that Kyle had grown accustomed to hate.

"What Butters?!" he snapped jerking his arm away. "Why are you giving me googly eyes?"

"Sorry" he spluttered, turning beetroot and Kyle just sighed and turned away, "come on then. "

"Where are we going?"

"To Shakeys."

-o-o-o-o-o-

Stuck in campus security, Bebe shifted her weight in her chair with an annoyed grunt. It had been two hours now and her parents still hadn't showed up. All the while, Stan was getting probed in the other room.

The door clicked open and Stan hobbled out with a pained expression while the guard behind him grinned with amusement. "Alright you're clean. I'll just go fill out some paperwork and call your parents too."

He left and Stan slumped in the chair miserably, Bebe turned to him with a sly grin. "How was it?"

He bore a pained expression. "I can't believe its ok to cavity search kids in high school. If I had anything up my ass I would have just told them."

"Funny, you didn't seem to mind that type of foreplay before."

Stan looked at her with a stunned expression while she just returned a cruel one.

"Please tell me you're kidding."

She shrugged and turned her attention to the outside window, openly torturing him, and rightly so.

"Oh come on Bebe." He pleaded. "Please, just tell me…. how far did I really go with you and Kenny? And look I'm sorry everyone knows about our threeway. I'll explain to security that I was on drugs and I was screaming jibberish . OK?"

She paused. "And you have to tell all the students too."

"Dude. Totally."

"Ok fine… so the truth is Stan…" she sighed and tucked her hair behind her ear. " …that yea, we did make out a little, and ok, our clothes did come off, and yes, it was you me and Kenny but……. you passed out before any sex actually occurred."

He breathed out in relief. "So my ass intact?"

"As far as I know." She shrugged. "But…" she paused thoughtfully, "I do recall that you woke up and pulled Kyle onto the bed and-"

"Alright, your parents are here." The security guard walked in, the Marshes and the Stevens following closely behind.

Randy Marsh, frowned down at his son, his black mustache bristling in irritance. "Stanley, what the hell? They had to search you for crack??"

"Dad….." he mumbled, slipping down into his seat with a broken expression. "The pressures getting to me."

"What pressure?" he snapped while the Stevens grabbed their daughter, tossing the Marshes a curt nod and snootily shoving past them.

Stanley and Sharon Marsh shot them an equally annoyed expression while Stan just groaned into his hands. Another wave of nauseau had suddenly hit him, churning through his insides and burning up into a throbbing headache. Queazy, he could puke again from the fear. Not because he was about to be grounded and not because he is potentially suspended.

No. Because Mrs. Stevens has the best pair of tits known to man, that bounced voluptuously as she sauntered past him, perk and at attention and perfect for as long as all the boys in South Park could remember, and he didn't even care.

Oh god.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Authors Note: So, I'm getting a lot of reviews for this homoerotic degrassi excuse I call for a story, which is lovely to be honest, but the pressure is getting to me and I can't hack it. So I would love it if you, the fans, would let me know where you want the story to go. Please, don't be shy. And that way I'll actually finish this fucking story instead of leaving it out to dry like I did with my LIFE WITH DEREK fanfic…..

Which I will finish before I die.