Hi guys! First of all, I'd like to thank all of you who have taken the time to send in your reviews, comments and suggestions. I really appreciate them. Secondly, I know this story is a bit confusing up to this point but I can reassure you that there's a reason behind all this. So hang on and sit tight and hopefully you'll like this chapter. And don't forget to leave your reviews, comments and suggestions. I'll try as best as I can to use your suggestions if they fit with the story. Love you guys! Cheers!

Chapter 4

"Oh my God! This is bordering on ridiculous!" Haley groaned as she tried to get herself to sleep in the darkened room . She could not believe that she let Jamie get his way. For the second time since she was back in Tree Hill, she was sleeping in the guest room that Nathan had provided for her. She knew how much Jamie wanted her to stay but at the back of her mind she knew that it was a bad idea to stay. She made mental note to start looking for a house in Tree Hill tomorrow. Although she spent most of her time in LA, Tree Hill was home. She realized that now that Jamie was going to get a taste of living in Tree Hill for a couple of months, there was a chance that he might never want to leave.

She could hear the rustling sound of sheet from Nathan's room and tried to ignore it. She thought back of that afternoon when she had lunch with Lucas. Plenty of times she felt guilty for not letting Lucas in on her tumultuous relationship with Nathan four years ago. Lucas had been her best friend since they were kids. The only guy besides Nathan who knew her inside out. There were so many times that she felt that she had to tell him what really happened but she couldn't trust him not to run to Nathan and question him about it. After all they were brothers.

Flashback

"So, you're really not gonna tell me?" Lucas asked her as he bit on his sandwich. They decided to take a stroll that afternoon and had ended up at the docks. She picked at her own sandwich absentmindedly and watched the boats rocking to the sway of the sea.

"Lucas for the last time, there is nothing to tell," she said flatly. "We fell in love, got married, had a kid and got divorced."

Lucas watched her with narrowed eyes. "Come on Hales, I'm not stupid."

"I'm not saying you are," she said a bit more impatiently this time. "Luke, I love you like a brother but to be honest, I'm done with all these questionings. Did it ever occur to you that bringing up the past really hurts me?"

He fell silent as her words sank in. After a while he asked, "do you still love him?"

She bowed her head. "I've never stopped Luke," she admitted.

End of flashback

The darkness and the silence was starting to drive her crazy. She got up and decided to check on Jamie. Making sure that she wasn't making any noise, she tiptoed to Jamie's room and pushed the door open quietly. She walked over to his bed and sat down. She marveled at the sleeping form before her. She started stroking his head and felt him stir. She didn't want to wake him up so she kissed her forehead gently and whispered, "I love you my little angel."

She made her way to her room and stopped outside Nathan's room. She could still hear the rustling sound and figured that he wasn't sleeping too. Nathan was never one to toss around in bed. She smiled wryly as she thought of the nights she had shared his bed. Never a night went by that she couldn't feel his arms wrapping protectively around her. She suddenly felt bold and turned the knob. Surprisingly, it wasn't locked.

He knew it was her the moment the door opened. "Hales, what are you doing here?" he asked in a low voice and sat up on the bed.

"I'm not sure myself," she stammered. "I couldn't sleep," she said.

"Neither could I," he admitted.

"Nathan," she started to say. She wanted so much to tell him that she was sorry for whatever that had happened between them.

He sat up on his bed, using his elbows for support. He seemed to read her mind. "Haley, don't. Whatever it is that you want to say, I don't want to hear it."

His words cut through her heart like a sharp knife. She could already feel her eyes brimming with tears. She crossed the room to where he was, her heart pounding wildly in her chest. She longed for the feeling of security she got whenever she was with him. Without thinking she crawled into his bed next to him. The familiarity almost choked her. She could already feel her throat closing up. It wasn't long before she felt her tears running down her face.

"What are you doing?" he breathed and went perfectly still as he felt her body covering his.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she said brokenly as she sobbed, covering her face with her hands. No explanation was needed. He knew that she was referring to their past.

He let his arms wrap around her and held her. He felt his own tears starting to fall. Not a word was spoken after that. No words were needed. They stayed that way for a long time. Before long, he felt her grow limp and realized that she had fallen asleep. He looked at her sleeping face and for the first time in a long time, he felt the same comforting feeling he always felt whenever he was with her. It didn't take long for him to follow suit as he eyes grew heavy, finally shutting thus allowing him the deep slumber that he so longed for.

He woke with a start and started blinking a few times. He covered his eyes to block out the morning light. Turning his head, he noticed that the space next to him was empty. For a minute he wondered whether it was all a dream. He sat on the bed for while and tried to make sense of what happened last night. Did she really mean it when she said she was sorry? Can he really forgive her? It wasn't long before he felt a throbbing pain in his temple. He looked around for his crutch and after having located it, he hopped on foot to where it was. He heard sounds from the kitchen and knew that Jamie was already terrorizing Haley. He allowed himself a hint of smile as he thought about Jamie. The smile quickly faded as soon as he remembered the time when Haley had told him that she was pregnant. He quickly brushed it aside, at the same time wishing that he could brush away the pain of the past.

He joined them in the kitchen and avoided looking at Haley. "Something smells good," he said. "What's for breakfast?"

"Mama made french toast Daddy. It's really good," Jamie said and stuffed a forkful into his small mouth.

"I bet it is," Nathan said and smiled. He watched her slide a plate mutinously in front of him and sat down next to Jamie. A minute later he said, "Daddy, can I play with your Wii?"

"Sure buddy, go ahead," he said. There was an awkward silence between them as soon as Jamie was gone. He didn't have to wait long. The silence was broken by the sound of her voice.

"Nathan, can we talk?" she asked nervously.

"Sure," he said quietly while making a show of concentrating on his breakfast.

She placed her palms on the counter and stood facing him. "I'm really sorry about last night," she said after a while. "I shouldn't have come to your room. That was out of line." He nodded in agreement. He had so many things to say to her, not all of them nice and he decided that the best thing was to just keep quiet.

"You're right. It was." Haley grimaced at his words. "I think you should consider staying somewhere else," he finally said and looked up. She looked surprised for a while. Truth be told she was expecting it, but to hear those words coming out from his mouth still hurt. "I'm sorry. I thought I could handle you being here, but I can't," he continued to say. There was nothing she could do but nod in agreement.

"I think you're right," she said softly. "I'll emmm...I'll go pack my things." She didn't wait for him to reply and scuttled to the bedroom and closed the door. She leaned against it and let her body slide to the floor. She buried her face in her hands and cried.

Nathan knew that she was crying on the other side of the door. He knew the right thing to do was to comfort her but after all these years he still couldn't find it in his heart to forgive her. He walked to the living room where Jamie's eyes were glued to the telly and increased the volume to drown out the sounds of her sobbing.

"He threw you out?!" Peyton asked in disbelief as soon as Haley was settled in her place. She had called Peyton in the morning, telling her that she was going to take up her offer after all. She was exhausted from all the crying and later, trying to ignore Jamie's protests that she stayed with Peyton. She knew that it would be cruel if she asked Jamie to come with her, so she decided that it was best if Jamie stayed with Nathan for a while. At least until she found a house. Haley kept quiet as she sipped the hot tea that Peyton had made. Peyton knew the moment that Haley showed up at her door that something was wrong. She tried to control her anger at Nathan that was raging inside her for the sake of Haley, but so far her efforts proved to be unsuccessful.

"The nerve of that asshole!" she ranted. "I have a good mind to march straight to his house and tell it to his face. God! He's such an idiot!"

Haley closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Peyton, it's okay. It was my fault. I shouldn't have-" She couldn't continue. She didn't want to tell Peyton what had happened last night.

Peyton didn't seem to hear her. "You know what you should do? You should tell that pompous, arrogant son of a bitch what really happened."

Haley looked at her tiredly. "Peyton, stop. I've decided a long time ago to let the past stay buried. There's no point digging it up. Anyway, it's obvious that he doesn't want me in his life anymore. Maybe coming back here was a mistake," she said.

"Haley, you're my friend and I love you. But what you're doing now is a mistake. You should have told him about everything. The separation. The letters. Everything Hales."

Hales. She could hear him calling her nickname in her head. It sounded so familiar rolling from his tongue. She let Peyton's words sink in for a while. She hadn't thought about the box of letters that she had hid for a long time.

"What's the point Peyton. It's only gonna bring up all the hurt and anger." She smiled when she saw Peyton's worried face. "I know that you still think that me and Nathan should try again, but it's too late. I let it go on the way it did. I can't turn back now. Anyway, thanks for letting me crash at your place. Are you sure Jake's okay with this?" she asked, referring to her friend and Peyton's boyfriend.

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course he's fine with all this. Now drink up. I'm gonna take you shopping and get your mind off all this craziness," Peyton said grinning.

She managed to escape from the shopping trip that Peyton had planned for them. To make things worse, Peyton had dragged Brooke along with them. Getting away from Peyton was easy enough, but Brooke was another story altogether. She didn't feel like sharing the story of her being kicked out of Nathan's house to Brooke, and thankfully Peyton didn't bring it up. Shopping wasn't really her thing anyway. Sure, she could have anything that her heart desired, on account of being a multiple Grammy winner. She just didn't see the point of blowing her money on clothes.

Her feet brought her to the Rivercourt and she marveled at how little the place had changed over the years. She could still make out the graffiti on the court that she and her friends had made on their graduation day, the day when they promised that whatever road they had chosen in their lives post graduation, they would still remain the best of friends. She stepped to the corner of the court. She bent down and ran her fingers on the concrete. The words had blurred over the years but she knew what it said. Haley and Nathan. Always and forever. She sat down facing the river and hugged her knees. She remembered the day they did that. It was after the graduation party. They had lingered at the Rivercourt long after everybody had left. It was almost three in the morning but neither was tired. It was then that Nathan had asked her to marry him. She remembered the look on his face when she said yes. He was so happy that he had tears in his eyes as he picked her up and swung her around. Then she remembered the look in Nathan's eyes this morning. The look of sadness. How could she love him and then hurt him the way she did? She knew the answer. She knew she had hurt him, but everything she did, she did for him. Even if he didn't know it. But was it love that prompted her to do what she did? Or was it selfishness on her part?

She heard footsteps and turned around. That was when she saw him. She stood up and ran her fingers through her hair. "I was just leaving," she said. She couldn't face him now. Not after her act of stupidity last night. He just stood there in muted silence. She walked past him and avoided looking at him. That was then she felt his hand on her arm.

"Haley, wait. I need to ask you something," he said. She waited in silence. "You told me that you loved me. Was it all a big lie? How could you tell me that you loved me and then hurt me?"

She looked into his eyes. "I was just asking myself the same thing."

Nathan stared into her brown eyes, his eyes searching hers. "You said that I pushed you away. But you left me first Hales. Do you know what that did to me?" She closed her eyes as she imagined the pain that he went through.

"I know you hate me Nathan-"

"Dammit Haley! I don't hate you. I hate myself. I hate myself for falling in love with you. I hate myself for letting you leave me. I hate myself because I made the biggest mistake in my life when I married you."

She couldn't listen anymore. She had to get away but not before she told him how she felt. "Nathan, I wish that things could have been different between us and I'm sorry that it turned out the way it did. Leaving you was the hardest thing for me to do but I never said that I was never coming back. I wanted to come back remember? That was when you served me with the divorce papers."

"What did you expect me to do, huh?" he asked angrily. "Wait around like a fool? You obviously wanted me out of your life. I just made it easier for you."

"I never said that!"

"You said plenty," he said. He put a hand in his pocket and brought something out. He held up a piece of paper for her to see. "I've been carrying this around every single day since you left. Do you remember what this is?" She winced when she saw what he was holding. He read it out loud. "Dear Nathan, I'm really sorry but I've decided to leave without you. You may not understand it now but you will. I'll come back. I promise. Just know that I will always love you. Haley."

"Nathan-"

"I waited for six months but you never came back," he said brokenly. "And when you did, it was to tell me that you were pregnant."

She couldn't contain her tears any longer. She let it flow down her cheeks. She remembered the day she showed up at his doorstep. She remembered the cold look in his eyes when he saw her face. She remembered the cold look turn into hatred when she told him that she was pregnant.

Flashback

"Is it mine?" he asked seethingly.

"Nathan, how could you even ask me that? You have no right," she said.

"I have no right? You left me to chase your dream. For all I know you've been sleeping around. So don't tell me that I have no right!" he said before slamming the door in her face.

End of flashback

It took Peyton's words and a DNA test to prove to him that Jamie was really his.

"I still love you," she confessed, her voice coming out in a mere whisper.

He should have been happy when he heard those words, but all he felt was emptiness. "It's too late Hales."