Chapter 4: Winter Chicago
Thick, fluffy beads of cotton swirl in the wind, dancing to a frenetic rhythm, only to vanish into moisture as they touch the asphalt. The flakes breathe memories of a life long forgotten. Images that glow faint like embers. The frosty weather is an entirely different page from the sunny landscapes of Texas. But it bears an essence of home like no other. There's something about winter Chicago that connects to her soul. It awakens the little girl in her, the one who once took a box of colorful crayons and drew a little yellow house with a happy family on her bedroom wall. It is as if all the sweet reminiscences of her childhood are embroidered on the Christmas spirit.
After long waiting, they manage to rent a car. Driving through all the familiar landmarks feels like good old wine touching her tongue after years of abstinence. Jane gapes through the passenger's window with childish acrimony, being his usual cheerful self. The back seat of the car is stuffed with shopping bags and colorful wrap paper. Soft notes of old Christmas carols infiltrate the air. The mood is almost intoxicating, in that lazy, drunken way. Lisbon dips her head, taking a glimpse of the darkening sky.
"Let's hope they're gonna be home", she mutters.
Jane shrugs. "Well, if they're not, we'll just have to surprise them a little later", he answers, eyes twinkling. His little idea has his spirit hopping like the flames of a kindling fire. We'll make it seem deliberate. Like we planned to surprise them, he said. They literally spent the entire day among shop aisles, choosing the right gifts for each of her family members.
A female voice covers the last drawling notes of the song 'Winter Wonderland'. Lisbon maneuvers the car to avoid a block of ice on the asphalt.
"Walking in a winter wonderland Frank Sinatra sings, but from the looks of it my friends, there will be no walking during Christmas this time. Weather broadcasters highly advise us to stay inwards, as a snow hurricane is approaching in the next few days..."
The sun has immersed under the horizon when their car eases off at Stan's house. The flickering glow of a lantern sheds light on the front porch. Little porcelain dwarfs deck each stair and a fat wreath hangs on the front door. Pride, guilt and melancholy trickle down her chest. Her heart squeezes, like that of a mother who takes delight in watching her kids' achievements. She raised them after all.
Two fingers brush the inside of her elbow.
"Shall we?" Jane asks, waving toward the falling snow that's already formed a thick line on the bottom of the windscreen. Strangely enough, her thoughts tumble back to a dusky day. She's diving into the pour of rain, her hand clasping his. There's nothing similar between the present moment and the memory his words excavate. Now there's snow where once rain was; dark skies instead of a twilight; and selfless, fully expressed love where once suppressed, complicated feelings existed.
She nods gently, mouthing, "Yes".
They pull the handles in sync and run to the back of the car, the snowstorm muffling their giggles. They dive into the pile of gifts, each filling their arms with a bunch. She only takes the light ones, careful not to attach too much weight on her son.
Jane rounds the car, coming to her side. "First to reach the front door gets to drive next time!" he says then, bursting into a run.
"Hey!" she protests, diving after him. She pushes past him on the top stair. As she arrives at the door victorious, she whirls around to watch him approach.
"I won", she chants.
"You pushed me! It wasn't a fair race!" he complains.
"You're just saying that because you can't admit you lost from a woman".
Jane rolls his eyes. "Okay, I feel that this conversation isn't going anywhere good for me, so I'm stopping it here".
"Very wise of you", she murmurs, twirling around to the entrance.
She realizes, as her eyes land on the door, that with all the rush of adrenaline, she's forgotten all of her earlier concerns. She closes her eyes, shaking her head with a smile. My clever husband. She turns to look at him.
"You're an angel, you know that?"
Jane tilts his chin, his eyes beaming with question. Still likes to play the Lone Ranger, she thinks. Pretending he doesn't know what she's talking about to avoid the thank-you's. She leans in and places a kiss on his cheek. Jane blushes, the cold enhancing the ruddy color. She draws her attention to the house and presses the bell. Their steamy breaths blur the air while they're waiting.
"Comin'!" Stan's muffled voice echoes from the interior. There are steps trampling on the floor, some metal jiggling, and finally, the door is yanked half out of the way. Stan's force fades off as he lays eyes on them; he opens the rest of the door slowly.
Lisbon grins from ear to ear, "Surprise!" she chants.
"Teresa", Stan mumbles. His face brightens with the vestiges of a smile.
"Daddy? Who is it?" shouts a girly voice. Foot clatter arises in the depth of the house, heading at their direction. Annie and Jason halt at the hall, once they see them. They stare at her quietly, struggling to catch their breaths. Teresa takes in their serious expressions, a cold fist clenching around her heart. She hadn't considered the kids could be disappointed in her. Karen's face emerges behind the wall at the same time that heavy steps sound on the staircase; Jimmy and Lucy stop at the top stair. For a few moments, the focus of the universe shifts to her niece and nephew. She doesn't know why their reaction suddenly holds the utmost significance to her.
The kids lower their gazes to her arms. They take a sharp breath, their eyes flying upwards, widening.
"Presents!" they shout in unison, and she thinks the blast of relief will leave her paralyzed. Jason throws his hands around her feet, while Annie tackles Jane. The boxes shimmy out of balance in Jane's embrace. His eyes widen momentarily, but he quickly gains control.
"Hey little one, be careful, you don't want any of these to fall on your head", he quips.
Karen paces to her husband's side, her face stretching out in happy surprise. "Thank you for coming", she says earnestly.
Jimmy and Lucy join them shortly. The mask of awe on Stan's face slowly smooths to realization. His smile breaks through at full capacity. He sticks out his finger.
"You had me fooled. I thought you weren't coming", he says. Lisbon's smile wavers a little. Before she can answer though, Stan pulls her into a warm embrace.
She jumps, "Careful, the baby", she warns.
"Oops, sorry!" Stan says, loosening his arms.
"Family hug!" Jimmy shrieks then.
And while the winter howls outside, they all gather under the glow of candlelight, arms stretching out and heads crashing together. Crushed in a shroud of love, she thinks, movies weren't elaborate enough. Family reunions are so much more than how they're portrayed.
As the welcoming ceremony takes an end, Lisbon searches the room with her eyes.
"Did Tommy answer the phone?" she asks Stan.
Stan shakes his head sadly, "No".
She nods, not saying anything. Words are trivial.
"Well, don't just stand there, you'll catch a cold", Stan raises his voice. "Come inside, lemme show you to your room!"
The evening passes in an overall mood of elation, with outbursts of joy, love and gratitude. Lisbon lost count of how many hugs she's been immersed into. Many times she caught Jane's gaze from across the living room, his eyes a shimmering glow. Her heart chirruped each time, awakening the ghost of the fear that seethes deep inside. She... loves this. So much she gets instants where she wants to abandon everything else in her life, instants where she forgets her initial objections.
After celebrations cease, she and Jane retreat to their room. The Christmas decorations spread all over the house. Lights dangle from the windows in their bedroom and ornaments decorate the headrests of the two beds. Each bed is spacious enough for one to stretch their limbs onto and two to sleep crushed together. She grimaces at the distance between them. Why separated beds? Jane strolls to one of them and sits on the edge, his eyes assessing the room. She leans with her back on the door, watching him in fascination, until their gazes meet. She arches an eyebrow.
"Seeing anything you like?" she quips.
He huffs a laugh with her attempt at flirting. "You're good", he commends, pointing with his finger.
She shrugs, "You're certainly bringing it out of me", she remarks.
His grin broadens. His gaze loafs around once more. "It's... quite festive. Your sister-in-law has quite a taste". They stare at each other quietly. "That wasn't so bad, was it?" Jane says after a while.
She nods, "Thanks to you".
He smiles lopsidedly, but his eyes stay serious. "I can't be happy when you're not", he confesses. His cheeks redden a little, his voice ripples. It's still against his character to reveal emotion, but she can see the effort he summons for her. And it's getting easier with each day. Suddenly, the distance between them strikes her as completely irrational and redundant. She closes it in two strides and flops onto his lap, throwing her arms around his frame. He hugs her tightly, slightly lifting her up, burying his face in her hair. They stay like that for time she cannot measure.
"You know it, right?" her whisper splits the silence.
"Know what?" he asks softly.
"That I love you... More than anything in this world?"
His chest stills slightly, his breath catches. "I do", he answers after a moment, his arms tightening around her, "but it feels amazing to hear you say it".
She smiles, her lips brushing his neck. Her mouth climbs to his ear. "I love you", she murmurs again.
Jane takes a deep breath, "I know". His smile is audible in his voice. She trembles with a giggle.
The door flies open, letting in a breeze of voices. She slips out of Jane's lap, landing next to him on the mattress. Jimmy stops short of the entrance, covering himself behind his palms.
"Oops, sorry! Should have knocked first", he apologizes.
"It's okay, Jimmy", Lisbon answers. "We weren't doing anything". She exchanges a glance with Jane. Jimmy peeks through his fingers, then lowers his hands and smiles shyly.
Lisbon waves her head, "Is there something that you want?" she asks.
Jimmy looks around in confusion. "No", he shrugs. He stares at her, as if he deems his answer sufficient.
"Then, why are you here?" she asks in the manner she'd ask a retarded person.
Jimmy's eyes narrow, then open with realization. "Wait — Stan didn't tell you?" he stutters.
"Tell me what?" she worries.
Jimmy waves his finger between them. "We're sharing the room", he explains.
"What? Why?" Lisbon bursts.
"Well, last time I checked, this house only had one guest room", Jimmy says sarcastically.
Lisbon gawks at him open-mouthed. She glances at Jane, whose eyes are painted in her own panic. He feigns a little smile.
"You're joking, right?" she questions Jimmy.
He shakes his head, pressing his lips together. Just then, Lucy jumps on her brother's back from behind in an attempt to scare him. Jimmy starts, catching her hand on his shoulder. He gives an awkward laugh, pulling Lucy to his front.
"We're having a sleepover together, daaaaa!" she exclaims, throwing out her arms.
"Yes!" Lisbon enthuses, though inside, she's burying herself under a million crusts of earth.
She tosses restlessly, occasionally punching a leg or an arm into Jane's body, who conceals his protests with a cough or a clearing of his throat. After a while, he locks her feet under his leg, her arms under his, and pulls her back flush against his chest. But that only worsens the situation, since her body now pains with thirst she cannot quench. He seems to sense her frustration, as he plants some space between them, though not entirely letting go. She inhales deeply and lets out the air, relaxing.
Jimmy sleeps opposite her, though she can't discern him in the dark. Lucy's rhythmic breathing suggests that's she's already fast asleep. The night falls quiet at last, but for her loud thoughts. It's okay, Teresa. It's only going to be for two weeks. You're gonna have plenty of private time later. God, what's wrong with her? When did she become addicted to her husband's graces?
"Teresa?" she hears Jimmy whisper. His voice sounds vulnerable—it reminds her of when he was a child and she tucked him into bed. She blinks into the dark, surprised and embarrassed for the thoughts he interrupted. She thought he was sleeping.
"Yes... Jimmy?" she answers a little uncertainly, her voice growing soft, as protective instincts battle her earlier annoyance. Jane's breath turns shallow. She knows he only pretends he's fallen asleep.
"I'm really happy you decided to spend Christmas with us", Jimmy confesses.
She's rendered speechless for several seconds.
"Me too, Jimmy", she murmurs. Whispering, "Me too". And as the words touch her lips, she knows them to be true.
A/N: Thank you for the comments! So many guests here that I cannot thank with a PM. Thank you Nathalie, Azucar, crepe and the anon Guests! More soon!