Summary: All secrets eventually see the light of day. Spoilers for Rise.

Author's Note: So this is a big moment for me...you may have noticed that I upped the rating...I have never written anything M-rated before, and I'm really, really nervous about posting this. It took me a long time to write (I don't think I've ever edited something so much in my life) and even longer to gather up the courage to post it. I apologize to those of you who aren't a fan of M-rated material, but I really couldn't do this one any other way. I tried to keep it tasteful...I hope. For those of you who don't like this kind of thing (or shouldn't be reading it), the next chapter will be back to T.

I'm not usually one to beg for reviews but please, please, let me know if this turned out okay/what I should do differently next time. And in the meantime, I'm going to go insecurely hide in my closet and not write anything else M-rated for a looong time.

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own them.

Scars

July 14, 2012

The bedroom was dark, the only illumination provided by the light peeking in through the slightly open curtains, a composite of street lights and the nearly full moon. Outside, the city was alive with the sounds of the nightlife. Inside, the only sounds to be heard were soft whispers and caresses originating from the tangle of limbs in the middle of the bed.

Castle and Kate had been in bed about half an hour, passing the time grinning lovingly at each other and talking softly. A few minutes ago, however, things had turned heated, with tongues avidly exploring and fingertips inching beneath hemlines. As their mouths continued to duel, Castle's hand was working its way up her body, his fingertips traveling across her stomach and running gently up and down her sides. Kate arched into his touch and moaned softly as his fingers danced across her curves, caressing her soft skin.

Spurred on by her reaction, Castle's hands traveled more confidently across her skin, but as his movements journeyed inward he felt her flinch and tore his lips from hers.

"Kate?" He could tell she was suddenly fighting back tears and was confused at the sudden turn of events. "Did I hurt you?"

She shook her head and he breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that she was not in any pain, at least physically.

"Kate?" he tried again, his thumb brushing gently across her skin, and she brought her left hand up to halt his movement.

As her hand held his in place, near the base of her rib cage, he suddenly realized exactly what the problem was. They had been together for just about three weeks, but this was the first time that they had come close to removing any clothing, partially due to a string of late nights at the precinct and the rest due to Castle picking up on Kate's hesitance.

In the past couple of weeks, Castle had sensed that she seemed to not be ready, and in all honesty, he was in no hurry either. He was finally, finally, with Kate and he fully intended to savor every single moment of their relationship. He had thought that she had been holding back for the same reason, but it was quickly becoming apparent that she had another motive.

"Your scar?" he asked softly, bringing a hand up to cup her cheek.

"It's hideous," she said tearfully, embarrassed for being so self-conscious.

"It's not," Castle assured her.

"You haven't even seen it."

"No, but I know the story behind it, and the scar is a part of that story. It's proof of your strength, of how hard you fight for the people you love. It's proof of everything you've overcome."

"It's proof that I almost died," she pointed out.

He brushed away a few tears. "And every single day, I'm thankful that you are still here with me."

How was it that his words always had the ability to calm her, to wash away her fear and hesitance?

"I haven't been with anyone since before," Kate admitted, though he already knew that. "No one has seen it."

Well, she had shown Lanie, but that was different.

"Let me be the first," Castle whispered.

Slowly, tentatively, Kate lifted her hand from his, freeing his fingers. His eyes never left hers as his fingers traveled upwards, tracing the four-inch scar on the inside of her left breast. His intense gaze did not falter, for which Kate was immensely grateful. Insecure as she felt, she was not in the mood for sympathy or pity.

"You're so beautiful, Kate," he assured her as he pressed a soft kiss against her lips. "And I love you so, so much. Nothing is ever going to change that."

He felt her body relax underneath him and knew that everything was okay, for now. He ran his fingers back down the scar, just once, while his left hand trailed back down to the hem of her shirt. Slowly, he raised it up, Kate lifting herself off the bed slightly to help him remove the garment. He tossed it aside as Kate settled back into the sheets. He could tell she was still feeling incredibly self-conscious as he lowered his lips to hers in a deep kiss.

His hands trailed up and down her torso, playing across her skin as he broke their kiss, gave her a chaste peck before trailing his lips along her jaw and down her neck where he settled on her pulse point, licking and sucking and making her squirm. He gently nipped at the sensitive spot behind her ear, soothing it with his tongue, and continuing his way down her body.

Castle kissed his way gently across her collarbone and down her chest. When he reached her scar, he placed a single kiss at the very center, directly over the spot where the bullet entered her body. She fisted a hand in his hair but did not make any attempt to pull his head away, and for now, Castle considered that enough. Tonight, he did not want to dwell on it. Tonight, he wanted to make her forget.

As is mouth continued its lovely assault on her skin, Kate was busy tugging desperately at his shirt. He tore his mouth away from her long enough for her to yank the t-shirt over his head, but before he could return to his sweet torture, she guided his mouth back to hers while her hands took their turn to explore.

She raked her fingers up and down his chest, scratching ever so lightly with her nails, eventually wrapping her arms around him and pulling him firmly on top of her. She reveled in the feel of the skin-on-skin contact, pressing her chest up more firmly into his. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling his hips directly into contact with hers, both of them releasing simultaneous gasps at the sensation.

Ordinarily, Kate would have used the leverage afforded by her legs to flip them so that she was straddling him. but tonight she was perfectly content to stay beneath him, wrapped up in his bed where she would be partially hidden in the shadows.

Castle seemed to sense her hesitance, her insecurities, her need for reassurance. They say that actions speak louder than words; tonight he was going to prove to her just how much he loved her, no matter what lines were present on her skin.

As she tore her mouth away from his in an effort to catch her breath, he took the opportunity to move down her body, his fingers dipping below the waistband of her shorts and caressing the sensitive skin between her hipbones. So much for catching her breath, Kate thought.

"Castle," she gasped as his fingers traveled lower, trailing around to her hipbones and tugging at her shorts. Kate lifted her hips as he slid the shorts down her long legs. She kicked them off, discarding them somewhere under the covers, leaving her clad in a pair of dark blue boy-shorts and nothing more. It was by far not her best choice of underwear but she desperately needed to do laundry and this was the only pair she had had left. Thankfully the waistband was lacy, otherwise there would be nothing even remotely sexy about them.

Castle, however, did not seem to mind. He was hovering above her, gazing at her reverently, and Kate felt herself wanting to shrink back under his scrutiny.

He dropped a soft kiss on her stomach. "Gorgeous," he murmured into her skin, before resuming his assault on her senses. His lips traveled lower and lower, his tongue dipping into her navel as his fingertips skimmed across the lace.

"You're teasing me," she panted.

He looked up at her and smiled mischievously, a predatory gleam in his eyes. "You love it."

And suddenly his hands and lips and teeth were everywhere at once and she was gasping and writhing and the sounds coming out of her mouth were uncontrollable.

"Oh, God," she panted once she gathered enough breath to speak again.

When Kate blinked her eyes open, she was met with his adoring gaze and she felt herself blush. He smiled gently, and there was nothing cocky about it; it was filled with awe and wonder and pure love. She kissed him then, tasting herself on his lips, and the kiss quickly turned heated once again.

And then he was naked too and wrapped around her and so close to where she wanted him, and God, he made her so impatient, and just as she was about to beg he stopped, lifted his head to meet her eyes.

"You sure?" he asked uncertainly.

"I trust you, Rick."

The smile that spread across his face could have lit up the entire room.

Castle kissed her softly once, twice, before lifting his head, his gaze locking with hers as two became one for the first time.

"Kate..."

She smiled up at him, held him closer.

They moved together, giving and taking, sharing soft kisses and whispered words, and by the time they fell over the edge together, neither could speak, let alone breathe, and Castle's arms gave out as he collapsed on top of her.

"Wow," he whispered, still in a daze. Kate could only nod in agreement.

At long last, they separated. He rolled onto his side and Kate wasted no time in snuggling up to him. Castle wrapped her securely in his arms, pulling her body flush against his, not caring that they were both sticky with sweat. Kate kissed him then in a gesture so full of love that had they been standing, Castle was sure his knees would have given out.

She nuzzled his nose as she pulled away and nestled her head into the crook of his neck, planting a gentle kiss on his skin.

He kissed her hair in response.

For a long time, no words needed to be spoken. They basked in the aftermath together, grinning giddily and stealing tender kisses. Kate looked absolutely radiant and Castle's eyes were shining.

"Rick?"

He was so lost in replaying the evening and committing every moment to memory that her voice caught him off guard. "Yeah?"

He felt her smile against his neck. "I love you, too."

Castle woke late the next morning. The sun was already shining and the light of day was streaming through the curtains and onto the bed. He rolled over and stretched, his arm coming into contact with a warm body and he opened his eyes to find Kate clad in his bathrobe and propped up against the headboard, smiling down at him.

"Were you watching me sleep, Detective?"

She shrugged. "Maybe."

He tugged on the edge of the robe. "Why are you up there?"

"I woke up." It had been difficult to untangle herself from his embrace but she had really needed to use the bathroom.

He tugged harder. "Come back here."

"Why?"

"It's Sunday, and I fully intend to start off the morning by staying right here in bed with you."

Kate raised an eyebrow. "Do you now?"

Castle just smiled.

"And what if I had a different idea?"

Now it was Castle's turn to raise an eyebrow.

Kate unfolded her knees and stood, sauntering towards the bathroom. "You do have a giant bathtub that I've been dying to try out."

He shot out of bed and snagged her around the waist just as she stepped over the threshold. "Tease."

Kate's witty remark quickly turned into a moan as Castle began peppering her neck with kisses, making his way down the side of her throat and nudging the robe out of the way as he ran his lips across the top of her shoulder. She clung to his arms and tilted her head, granting him further access.

"Any chance I could join you in that luxurious bath?" he asked when she was thoroughly distracted.

He reached up to untie the robe but Kate reacted instantly and stopped him. In the broad light of day, standing naked in front of his bathroom mirror as she washed her hands, she had found herself once again self-conscious, and donning his robe had been very much intentional.

This time, however, Castle caught on immediately and knew exactly what he needed to do. With his arms still wrapped around her, he walked them forward so they were standing in front of the giant mirror. She promptly looked away but Castle would not allow it.

"Look at me," he whispered, and to his surprise, her eyes met his in the glass without any protest.

He spoke softly, his eyes never leaving hers. "You know one of the first things that drew me to you?"

Kate shook her head.

"Your complexity. I've known you for four years and yet you still surprise me every day. There's always something new to learn about you." He twined his fingers with hers and raised their hands, extending their index fingers. He pushed the fluffy fabric aside and used their interlocked digits to trace the scar. "This only adds to it."

He brought their fingers to his lips, kissing them softly. He used his other hand to untie her robe and push it aside so she could watch as he pressed their fingers gently against her scar, passing along the kiss.

Kate felt tears welling up in her eyes and blinked fiercely to hold them back. A couple escaped anyways and Castle reached up and captured them with his thumb before turning her in his arms and pressing his lips to the wet trails they had left on her cheeks.

"You really think that?" she asked shyly.

"Absolutely."

It was moments like this that Kate wished she possessed his way with words because she was not sure she would ever be able to fully convey her gratitude. In all the time they had spent together, despite all the mistakes they had made, he had always been there for her. He was her comic relief when she did not even realize that a smile was enough to make her feel better. He was a silent listener when she just needed to vent. He was unrelenting, forcing his way back in when she kicked him out, most of the time not really wanting him to leave. He was her rock when her entire world collapsed around her, and he was the glue that was still helping pull her back together.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" she mused aloud.

Castle smiled and pressed a whisper of a kiss to her lips as he slid the robe off of her body, leaving both of them naked and wrapped up in each other's arms.

"You gave me something worth fighting for."

Thoughts?