Fine… I'll Tell You

Chapter Four

Where My Heart Lies

An Inuyasha Fanfiction

By Momoe

Thank you for the reviews! Ree-san; It might seem mean of her now, but she has her reasons! It will all come together soon! :3

I sat staring at my ceiling in bed. Inuyasha hadn't tried calling me again after I sent his call to voicemail. I felt bad. I was being cruel to Sesshoumaru for no reason and lying to Inuyasha… Part of me wanted to fully explain myself to Sesshoumaru explain why it has to be this way and part of me wanted desperately just to love Inuyasha… but deep down, he wasn't the man I wanted.

When the next few weeks passed, I noticed Inuyasha and Sango were acting a little strange but I never questioned them. Every time I got to Sesshoumaru's class I always zoned out. I kept his gaze for most of the time and I never focus on what he was saying.

We had a major test and when Sesshoumaru came by, passing out the results he handed me my test.

"See me after class." he demanded. I nodded. Inuyasha looked over my shoulder.

"Kagome…." he said in a low voice. "You got only one question right… What's wrong with you lately?" He asked me. I shook my head.

"Please… don't worry about it." I said with a sigh and stuffed my test into my folder.

"Kagome…?" Sango leaned in. "what's wrong?" I shook my head again, this time getting more annoyed with them.

"Nothing." I said and stood up. "Class is over, you two go on without me." I mumbled and walked to the front of the room. Inuyasha and Sango left giving me sad looks. There I went again… screwing up with people that I care about.

I sat in a desk at the front of the room and Sesshoumaru sat at his desk. Once the room was empty he finally spoke.

"Would it be easier for you if I stayed back here?" He asked me. I didn't respond. he let out a small sigh.

"Even though we have a history, Kagome… I can't sit and allow you to fail my class." I shook my head. "Why did you fail?" He asked I didn't say anything. With another sigh he stood up and walked to me. he kneeled down in front of my desk and looked into my eyes. "I don't remember you being this difficult to deal with, kagome." He said, I gave him a hard look.

"Can you tell me…? Why you are like this now? You were bubbly and a fun person to be around… what happened?" He asked, I was holding it in… I was holding it in for a long time.

"I didn't break things off with you by choice." I said and his eye widened a little bit.

"what do you mean? Didn't you leave me for that guy?" He asked and I shook my head.

"My father… he found my diary and read it. In my diary I mentioned that you were overage and I was under. He was going to go to the police unless I broke things off with you." Sesshoumaru stared at me, his jaw hung down slightly.

"I… I'm a horrible person… Inuyasha had a crush on me and I used him as… a cover. I told my father I was dating him so that he would leave you alone… and in truth… he was a rebound boyfriend that I just got accustomed to. I…" I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I had to fight them though. I was in the wrong here and created a mess… crying wouldn't help the situation.

"Kagome…" His eyes were full of sadness when he spoke to me. Even though I was fighting my tears I lost, a few escaped down my cheek and right away Sesshoumaru reached his large hand up and started wiping each tear away. "You… were protecting me?" He asked and I nodded.

"You're future didn't need to be ruined because of me. I figured you would be better off without me… you would succeed and I would just cause trouble." He looked me in the eyes but I moved my gaze away.

"And when you told me you were still in love with me… It was like a knife to the heart…" I admitted. "I've wanted to hear your voice for so long… to feel your touch again but… now that you are before me… it's not something that can happen." I admitted.

"Why…? Is it because you are in love with that guy?" He asked me and I shook my head no.

"I care for him and care about him, but I'm not in love with him." I told him. "My father… he kept my diary. He threatened that if he would to ever hear about us dating again… or even sees you again… not only will he take away my funding for school but he said he said he would do everything in his power to have you put in jail." I stared at him.

"I'm not meaning to be harsh with you Sesshoumaru… I've just… done bad things, I handled the situations poorly, and deep down… I just don't want you to be hurt anymore. If my father ever found out that you are my teacher… you could lose your job… you could never be able to teach… I can't handle something like that, nor could I put that on you… no matter how much I love you." He had a sad smirk on his face and he nodded to me.

"So, that's how it is." He said and stood up. "Now that you put it that way, it puts me a little more at ease but, i wish you would have told me those things back then, instead of running away from me." I nodded.

"I was wrong." I put my head down on the desk. "I just… don't know how to fix things at this point."

"Kagome…" I looked up at him from the desk. "Here is how you can fix things… think deep down, what you want. Don't think of how it will affect others. Okay?" I nodded.

"If you tell me, you want to be with me, I'll take you back with open arms and never let you go. If you want me, I will sacrifice everything for you." I nodded at him again "I'' give you a while Kagome… Let me know once you've decided how to handle everything." I nodded again and stood up.

I knew what I needed to do… for the most part. I opened my phone and dialed Inuyasha's number. It went to voicemail.

"Inuyasha…" I spoke into my phone. "There are some things we need to talk about…. meet me at my place after school… okay?" I sighed and closed my phone. It was going to be a little tiring… but this was something I should have done a long time ago.