Nocturne
Elizabeth was still smiling triumphantly at her reflection when the doorbell suddenly chimed. For a moment, she was lost in a state of uncertainty and teetered dangerously on the unfamiliar height of her stilettos.
"Oh, he's here!" Elizabeth stood paralyzed in front of the mirror while her twin stared back, her blues eyes huge with apprehension as the realization that this date was actually happening appeared to strike the two of them simultaneously.
Elizabeth smoothed down the skirt of the dress and smiled weakly at the mirror, "I can do this," she lectured herself, "It's just a date, people go on them all the time."
Taking a deep breath, Elizabeth resolutely turned away from her doubting reflection. After gathering up a black beaded evening bag from her bed, she headed for the door, automatically flipping out the light switch as she left the room. Elizabeth held onto the hand rail as she slowly moved down the stairs because she didn't yet quite trust her balance. When she was still only halfway down the stairs, the doorbell rang again. It was a sharp demanding peal of sound which made Elizabeth feel suddenly flustered.
"Coming!" She called out, hastening her descent.
Elizabeth paused briefly at the foot of the stairs to regain her composure, and then walked determinedly to the front door and pulled it wide open. "Ewen," she said cheerfully, a bright smile of welcome upon her lips, "You're just in time! I'm sorry it took me so long to get to the door but I was having trouble with these shoes." Elizabeth laughed, "You men have no idea the work it takes to get dressed up…" Elizabeth's voice trailed off as she realized that Ewen hadn't uttered a single word but rather was just staring at Elizabeth with a stunned expression on his face. "Are you all right?" Elizabeth asked and when there was no response to her question, she reverted to her nurse persona and said sharply, "Ewen!"
Startled, Ewen shook his head as though to clear it, and the next time he looked at Elizabeth, his eyes were clear and focused, "You look lovely!"
Elizabeth colored slightly, "Thank you," she said almost shyly, adding as she examined Ewen's own outfit, "You look very…casual."
Ewen glanced down at his medium-blue poplin shirt of which the top two buttons were open. The casual shirt was tucked into a neat pair of dark blue chinos and on his feet were a pair of light blue deck shoes, sans socks. Ewen grinned sheepishly at Elizabeth and shook his head, "I guess we didn't coordinate on a dress code, eh? Still, I think I'd look silly in that little wisp of a thing," He pointed at Elizabeth's dress, "And I definitely couldn't squeeze into those shoes!"
Elizabeth laughed, she couldn't help herself. The vision of Ewen decked out in her purple dress, with his feet crammed into her heels, was so absurd that she felt her momentary fit of pique ebbing away.
"Should I change?" Elizabeth offered gamely as all her thoughts of a sophisticated and romantic evening started slipping away. They instead were quickly being replaced by visions of eating at Kelly's followed by a game of miniature golf which occasion qualified as less than a date and more as a typical Webber family night out.
"Don't you dare!" Ewen said vehemently, "One way or the other that dress and I are going out together this evening, even if we have to leave you home."
Elizabeth giggled and suddenly everything was all right again. She didn't care where they went or what they did, she just was happy to be going out with Ewen, nothing else mattered.
"Wherever the dress goes, I go." She answered Ewen flippantly.
Elizabeth turned around and pulled the front door closed, reflexively checking to see if it locked behind her. It was a habit she had formed after Jake's death and even tonight, with none of her loved ones left inside to protect, Elizabeth couldn't help making sure that the house was secure.
"Shall we?" Ewen offered Elizabeth his arm and together they walked down the path to the sidewalk where Ewen's car was parked.
The car was a light blue convertible and Elizabeth's hand instinctively reached for her hair as she thought of what the wind would do to her carefully sculpted chignon. Ewen caught Elizabeth's reaction out of the corner of his eye and he grabbed her hand and pulled it down.
"Relax," he said with easy confidence, "With the windows up, you won't even notice the wind but you'll still be able to feel fresh air and see the sky."
Once they were seated in the car, Ewen looked over at Elizabeth and asked, "All set?"
"Where are we going?" Elizabeth couldn't restrain her curiosity any longer. While the rather prolonged process of getting ready for the evening had consumed most of her attention, Elizabeth still found time to wonder about what Ewen had planned for their first date.
Ewen shook his head, "It's a surprise, I wanted at least one part of this date to not be under Epiphany's control."
Elizabeth smiled, "Do you think we would be going out tonight without her prodding?"
"Probably not tonight," Ewen admitted candidly, "But eventually, yes, absolutely."
It was a lovely summer evening and perfect weather to be riding in a convertible. As they drove out of Port Charles and headed north, Elizabeth relaxed. She lay her head back against the leather headrest and stared up at the sky. Occasionally, Elizabeth would turn her head to the right to try and catch glimpses of the lake through the trees and dense underbrush lining the road.
Ewen looked over at Elizabeth and smiled, "Happy?"
Elizabeth rolled her head and looking dreamily back at him, simply nodded her assent. Ewen reached his hand across the front console and clasped hers. His warm and gentle touch caused Elizabeth to close her eyes in secure contentment. She couldn't remember the last time that she had so thoroughly inhabited a specific moment in time without thinking about anything else, past or future, but merely reveling in the miraculous act of being.
Elizabeth opened her eyes, she felt disoriented and, for a moment, she panicked wondering where the boys were and where, for that matter, she was. Then before she could get anymore upset, Elizabeth felt a comforting pressure on her left hand and she turned her head to see Ewen smiling at her.
"You fell asleep," his tone was soothing as though he had intuited her perturbed state. "I'm not going to take it as a personal affront though. Instead, I'll just assume that you felt safe and comfortable enough to drift off.
"Oh," Elizabeth was mortified, her cheeks burned and she was grateful for the gathering darkness which prevented Ewen from seeing her face. "I'm sorry, Ewen. You're absolutely right, I haven't felt this relaxed since I can't remember when." Elizabeth stole a look at Ewen and was both relieved and irritated to see him grinning at her. "You're teasing me!"
Ewen laughed, "Guilty as charged! I will admit though that I learned a lot from watching you sleep."
Alarmed, Elizabeth fell into his trap, "Like what?" She attempted to sound nonchalant but didn't think she had succeeded.
Ewen didn't reply immediately. Instead, he concentrated on the road ahead which was now a dark unspooling ribbon tunneling between the trees with only the white center line to act as a guiding indicator.
"Ethan," Elizabeth reached over and prodded his shoulder with her forefinger. "What did you mean you learned a lot about me while I was sleeping?"
It was dark enough now that Elizabeth could only see Ewen's profile dimly outlined in the red glow of the dashboard lights. He looked vaguely saturnine and, for a brief moment, Elizabeth wondered what exactly she was doing in a car at night in the middle of nowhere with a man she didn't really know all that well.
Finally, Ethan responded, the tone of his voice was light and amused, "I discovered that you don't snore, you don't drool and you don't talk in your sleep. All admirable traits, I might add."
Elizabeth smiled her relief at his teasing answer. This time when she looked over at him, she saw no mysterious stranger, but only Ewen and chided herself for her fanciful imaginings.
"How do I know that the same applies to you?" Elizabeth responded pertly, "You might do all those things and even worse!"
Ewen sent Elizabeth a glance she was unable to interpret within the inadequately lit interior of the car. "Well, I guess you'll just have to find out." His voice was rough causing something deep inside Elizabeth to stir.
After that charged exchange they were both silent, each lost in their own thoughts. Elizabeth stared up at the black velvet of the sky, pinpricked by a myriad of stars she seldom got to see in Port Charles. The moon was serenely rising over the lake. Elizabeth caught the occasional glimpse of its limpid brilliance through gaps in the foliage.
After another quarter hour of driving, Ewen slowed down and began intently staring along the lakeside edge of the road. "Aha," he finally exclaimed in relieved triumph, "I've never been here before in the dark, I thought I might miss the turnoff."
Elizabeth squinted to make out the rough hewn wooden sign that marked a break in the trees and the start of a poorly maintained gravel road. "Moonlight Cove," she read out loud, "I've never heard of it."
"I'm glad," Ewen sounded smug, "I wanted to take you someplace you had never been before. Fortunately, for us Epiphany happened to pick a night that the moon was full or I would have had to save it for another time."
Something inside Elizabeth felt light and fizzy at Ewen's words even as they jounced and rattled over the uneven surface of what was little more than a rutted track. Ewen wanted to show her a special place, something that would be unique for the two of them. He also wanted the evening to be just right for them. Most of all, Ewen wanted to see her again. The absorption of so many wants, which matched her wants precisely, took Elizabeth's breath away.
Suddenly, the tree line ended and they were at the end of the road with nothing before them but a thin ridge of sandy beach and a long endless swath of moonlight-drenched water stretching into the invisible distance. Ewen switched off the engine, together they sat in silence with nothing but the ticking of the cooling motor to mark the passage of time.
"It makes me feel so insignificant," Elizabeth's voice was hushed with awe.
Ewen reached his arm across the space between their seats and wrapped it around her shoulders, "That is why it's important we see it together," he said, "So, we aren't overwhelmed by the indifferent beauty of this world of ours."
After another period of quietude, Ewen finally spoke, "I don't know about the poets but I can't subsist solely on a diet of moonlit vistas." He pulled his arm away from Elizabeth and smiled at her, "Shall we?"
Actually, Elizabeth could have sat there staring at the view, safe in Ewen's embrace for quite a while longer but she tilted her head in silent acquiescence and reluctantly reached for the door handle. Ewen was already out of the car and busy pulling items out of the trunk. Yet, when Elizabeth attempted to step out of the car, it became instantly apparent that her shoes weren't meant for walking on sand. Sighing, Elizabeth sat back upon the passenger seat. Regretfully, one after another, she slipped them off her feet and positioned them neatly together on the floorboards of the convertible.
Ewen walked by just as Elizabeth was once more standing upright and tentatively testing the ground to see how well her stocking feet would fare in the gritty sand. "Is it just me, or have you shrunken several inches since we left your house?"
Elizabeth glared at him, "You could have warned me!" She complained, "I do have more suitable clothes for a place like this."
Ewen shook his head adamantly, "Nope, I wanted the dress and the dress wanted me and we both knew that the shoes were a part of the package." Ewen stared significantly down at Elizabeth's almost bare feet, clearly visible in the bright moonlight. In a martyred tone, he said "Well, if you really feel you need to ditch the dress also, I guess I would understand."
Laughing, Ewen turned toward the beach, carrying the large picnic hamper he had retrieved from the trunk, while Elizabeth stared after him in frustration and uttered the only fit imprecation she could think of in the moment, "Men!"
Ewen quickly spread a plaid picnic blanket on the beach and placed the hamper upon it. He then came back to meet Elizabeth who was carefully wending her way from the car to the beach while trying to avoid stepping on any shards of wood or sharp rocks in her stocking feet.
"Allow me," he murmured and before Elizabeth could either assent or protest, she found herself swept up into Ewen's arms. "This reminds me of how we first met," he said conversationally while Elizabeth bashfully leaned her head into his chest, "Though you were a lot wetter and much quieter."
"I don't remember," Elizabeth whispered, not even trying to banter with him.
They had reached the blanket and Ewen knelt down and gently deposited Elizabeth upon it. He reached over and framed her face within both his hands, gently saying, "Then let me do the remembering for both of us."
Ewen's lips brushed Elizabeth's mouth with a delicate touch, little more than an impress of sensitive skin upon sensitive skin. Before Elizabeth could even register the kiss, Ewen was gone, sitting back upon his heels and waving an admonitory finger in her face. "Now, now Nurse Webber, we'll have none of that. Seducing a man on an empty stomach! Why, what would Nurse Johnson have to say about such forward behavior?"
Infuriated, Elizabeth glared at Ewen as she seriously thought about grabbing his wagging index finger and biting down on it. Yet, the unbearable thought of Ewen showing up at the hospital on Monday morning, with a bandaged finger, as he rattled on, to anyone who would listen, about infantile bite reflexes and a certain nurse's poor impulse control, enabled her to quickly quell that dangerous instinct.
Instead, she smiled sweetly at Ewen as she replied, "Well, if you worry so much about what Epiphany thinks about your love life maybe it means you're dating the wrong nurse." Relishing the appalled look on Ewen's face, Elizabeth scooted forward and coolly lifted the lid of the picnic basket, "You're not the only one who's starving, what exactly is there to eat in here?"
The over-sized picnic basket was packed full of an odd combination of both gourmet goodies and more prosaic edibles. It was clear that since Ewen was unsure about Elizabeth's taste in food, he had decided to provide a wide array of options. Elizabeth was extremely touched by his thoughtfulness.
She pulled out rounds of soft French cheese and water crackers, black olives swimming in brine, containers of crab and egg salad and melon wrapped in prosciutto. There were fresh strawberries, with whipped cream to dip them in, and delicious looking red velvet cupcakes that made Elizabeth's mouth water. The number of dishes seemed almost endless, until Elizabeth finally managed to reach the bottom of the hamper where she discovered china plates, silverware, glasses and damask napkins.
While Elizabeth was exploring the picnic basket, Ewen set up a small lantern he'd brought along before heading back to the car and returning with a cooler and another smaller, red plaid blanket draped over his shoulder. Ewen unceremoniously plopped down on the blanket next to Elizabeth. He casually reached across her for a cracker which he spread with cheese and then popped into his mouth.
"Spread all right?" He asked indistinctly while he chewed. The question was offhand. Yet, Ewen's eyes anxiously searched Elizabeth's face, which was illuminated by the combined light of the moon and the lantern, as he waited for her answer.
"It's perfect," she said honestly, this time it was Elizabeth who reached a hand over to Ewen's cheek and placed a light kiss on his lips. "Thank you," she whispered as she gently traced the contours of his face with the tip of her finger.
Ewen responded by grasping her hand, turning it palm upward, and kissing the delicate skin on the inside of Elizabeth's wrist. "You're welcome," he said, reaching for the cooler, "Red or white?" He held up a bottle of each.
They ate and drank and laughed and then repeated each individual activity several more times. Finally, when the plates were empty and the last dregs of the wine bottles were consumed, Ewen stood up and reached a hand down for Elizabeth. "Dance?" He asked insouciantly.
Laughing, Elizabeth readily grasped Ewen's hand to help her get upright. She swayed a little at the sudden change in position, the wine was clearly making itself felt. "Without music?" Elizabeth didn't really care whether there was or wasn't any music. Yet, she knew the script by heart from watching a thousand and one romantic films and was determined to get her part in the proceedings right.
"I thought you'd never ask," Ewen reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out his key chain. He pushed a button on a tiny remote and music, emanating from the excellent speakers in his car, swelled out into the night. The song was lush, an old-fashioned ballad by one of the famous singers of the torch era-Ella or Sarah. Elizabeth didn't know which, she only knew it was sublime.
Together they stepped off the blanket and headed for the water's edge where the sand was damp and hard packed. Without hesitation, Elizabeth stepped into the curvature of Ewen's arms and wrapped her own arms around his waist. For the second time that night, Elizabeth placed her cheek against the comforting solidity of Ewen's chest and closed her eyes.
Their dancing was little more than a mild swaying back and forth, each was content to simply be in the arms of the other. After the third song ended, and the fourth was starting, Ewen pushed away from Elizabeth and smiled at her instinctive mewl of protest.
"Hey," he said softly, tilting her face up to his, "I think we have some unfinished business from earlier this evening."
Elizabeth raised a single eyebrow and asked with a slight edge to her voice, "Are you sure you aren't going to break off for dessert, or to take a dip in the lake, or to call Epiphany and see if it's all right with her?"
Ewen laughed, "I deserved that but I promise you nothing short of a tsunami will be enough to distract me from you for the rest of the evening."
"Promises, promises," Elizabeth said as she reached up and pulled Ewen's head down toward her.
This time the kiss was wasn't in the least bit gentle. It was an urgent meshing of lips and mouths, tugging teeth and searching tongues, swollen full of unrestrained passion and want. They clung to one another, their bodies merging into a welter of planes and curves and pure unadulterated sensation. Elizabeth fisted her hand into Ewen's short curls and he drove his fingers into her hair, pulling out pins until it all hung in a messy mass of curls into which Ewen couldn't help but bury his nose as he attempted to wholly absorb the sweet fragrance emanating from them.
When they finally separated, they were both breathing heavily. They gazed into each other's eyes, their pupils were dilated with lust and longing. Elizabeth passed the back of her hand across her bruised and tingling lips and looked hesitantly up at Ewen who was staring down at her, his eyes hooded and unreadable in the pale moonlight.
"I…" Elizabeth began hesitantly, almost stammering in her uncertainty, "I don't want to mess this," she gestured widely to encompass the water and the moon and Ewen himself, "Whatever it is, I don't want to mess it up." She stared up at Ewen, her eyes pleading with him to understand.
"I've done that too often in my life, just jumped in rather than being sure that it's right for me and for the boys." Now Elizabeth was becoming more assured of herself and of what she needed to say. "They're the most important thing in my life and I can't keep making the same mistakes I've made in the past because it's not just me who pays, they do as well." Elizabeth looked out across the water and at the moon and then back up at Ewen who was listening intently to her impromptu speech.
"This, tonight, this place is amazing and everything was perfect-the food, the music, just everything. Honestly, it's the most romantic night of my life and I've loved every single minute of it. The problem is that it's not the real world and I have to make sure that we," again Elizabeth paused as if choosing her words carefully, "That is, if after I get done rambling on," Elizabeth gave a little self-deprecating laugh, "There even is still a we, that our relationship has to work in the real world as a nurse and a psychiatrist and a mother and her boys and not just as lovers living in a fairytale world of moonlight picnics and lovemaking on the beach."
The night was silent, Ewen had turned off the music when Elizabeth began speaking. Now the only ambient noise was the gentle susurration of the waves moving to and fro upon the beach. Ewen remained quiet after Elizabeth's spontaneous words. His lack of any kind of response made Elizabeth feel more and more certain that her speech had ruined everything which lay between them.
Elizabeth's qualms weren't just about the destruction of the evening. Although that on its own would be a bad enough loss because Elizabeth dearly wanted to remember every moment as a cherished memory and not just something that was perfect up until the point where she opened her mouth and wrecked everything.
No, what Elizabeth feared losing was far more valuable than just a single evening but rather represented the loss of the potential for a future with this special man who wasn't Jason or Lucky or Nicholas. Ewen was someone entirely separate from her past and to Elizabeth he represented hope. He wasn't a mistake to be made and remade until the end of life itself, but rather a proactive choice for living an entirely different life from any that Elizabeth had yet experienced. In her heart of hearts, Elizabeth fervently believed that a future with Ewen could be full of love and laughter, and even that most ethereal of qualities-trust.
"Elizabeth," she dreaded the sound of her name coming from his lips, dreaded the predictable words which would inevitably go something like, "It's been a lovely evening but I didn't intend for it to be anything more."
Still, she had her time to speak and it was only fair that she give Ewen the same courtesy even if Elizabeth didn't want to hear what he had to say. Just the awful thought of the ride back into Port Charles, with them both retreating into a chilly silence, was enough to make her feel like bursting into tears.
"Elizabeth," Ewen said again, "Are you listening to me?"
Elizabeth nodded miserably, "Yes," she whispered, her eyes downcast.
Ewen was having none of it, "Look at me," he commanded her and unwillingly Elizabeth raised her head and looked into his eyes. "I'm so proud of you." Ewen said.
Elizabeth stared at him in dumbfounded disbelief, "What…what did you say?"
Ewen patiently repeated himself, "I'm proud of you. Everything you said is entirely right. Whatever develops between us can't just be born of moonlight picnics. It has to encompass the mundane things of life, like our careers and grocery shopping and…and laundry. Though there is no law against including moonlight picnics in the mix as well!" Ewen laughed and so did Elizabeth, with a quick disbelieving mimicking of Ewen's chuckle as she tried to process his words and deal with the quiet throb of aroused hope she could feel pulsing through her heart.
"Naturally, the most important thing to you is your sons and I want to make them just as important to me." Ewen was speaking with a quiet sincerity, "So, I agree with you entirely. We will take it slowly and when the time is right, for both of us, we'll move to the next level." Ewen bent down and pressed a quick kiss on Elizabeth's lips, "Fair enough?"
"Fair enough," Elizabeth responded happily as she reached up and entwined her arms around Ewen's neck and returned the kiss with interest.
"Hold on there," he said laughing. Ewen unwrapped himself from her embrace, and stepped back from a slightly abashed Elizabeth, "Give a fellow a break, I'm only human."
Elizabeth lay with her head on Ewen's chest, it was a position which was rapidly becoming a favorite of hers. She was wrapped in the smaller red blanket to guard against the chill of the late night air. Ewen's hand was stroking Elizabeth's hair in a steady motion that was gradually lulling her to sleep.
They had agreed to spend the night together on the beach and to watch the sunrise in the morning. Elizabeth contentedly listened to the steady sound of Ewen's heart beating just a few inches away from her ear. She looked up at the moon which was still streaking a radiant trail across the dark surface of the lake water.
'Just this once,' Elizabeth thought to herself drowsily, 'Just this once, I'm not going to be practical and I'm going to allow myself to dream. Just this once.'