Disclaimer: Gossip girl and it's characters are not mine, only little Lydia and darling Sebastian but that's enough.

A/N: So I don't have chapter plans or anything for my stories (I probably should) I just write and see where it takes me. This chapter is more snippets of life over a certain amount of days, it skips forward chronologically here and there mainly because this story is Seb/Lydia not Nate/Lydia.

To StarSapphire16: Yep her last name is Humphrey but Nate tends to call her Van Der Woodsen because it's her mother's maiden name and it was used to show even though Nate doesn't realise it, he still sees her as a mini-Serena. Good obersvation though!

If you guys have any other questions I'm happy to answer them :)

"You've met someone haven't you!"

Serena was grinning with barely suppressed glee, this was the part of parenting she was made for, now she was finally able to use it! Boy advice was her forte with all her 'experience' and the same mixed blessing of being devastatingly pretty.

Lydia felt herself going red guiltily, how come her emotions always had to be so plain on her face? Nate said it was what he loved about her but it could also be a pain in the ass.

"Why do you say that?"

"The fact you're standing in front of the mirror trying on your entire wardrobe with a critical eye."

"I just like to look nice and I want to sort out what I don't fit anymore."

"That is the lamest excuse ever, you've been whistling and gazing dreamily off into space for the last few days. You're either on some sort of anti-depressants or you've got a thing for a lucky guy."

"Why does my happiness have to stem from something male-related? Why can't I be fulfilled as a woman for just being me and enjoying my life?"

It was surprisingly easy to sound righteous while being a complete hypocrite because it was what she wished was true. Life would be so simple if the male race didn't exist.

"Oh c'mon I have to be able to offer wisdom and advice to you sometime, you have to start dating before you get too old and you wont need me for anything."

"Mom I need you for everything, dad's my moral compass but you've lived my life closer than dad ever has, you know the pitfalls and I take everything you say seriously."

If you had ever advised me not to date a man twenty years older than me I might have listened.

"Not everything I hope, I've been known to say some out there things."

Serena was touched by her daughter's words. She may have been a daddy's girl but no one understood a daughter better than her mother. Or so she thought, if she had known who the 'lucky guy' was she might have reconsidered such a confident belief.

"Lydia I can't do this right now."

"Do what?"

The innocence in Lydia's voice painfully emphasised Nate's concerns.

"Us."

Lydia was more grateful than ever that she exercised caution and called Nate instead of going over to see him. She was around for dinner once when Blair popped over to bring Nate a casserole for the divorcee who couldn't cook for himself. Lydia had to practically dive behind the couch with her dinner plate to avoid detection. She still had the bruises to prove it so calling first had become a priority in their relationship.

"Tell me what the problem is and we'll fix it."

She loathed the desperation in her voice, she had no idea who she was anymore other than a lost little girl playing games with someone twice her age and twice as good at it. It had been a hot and cold affair the past few weeks with Nate's conflicted emotions impacting on their relationship. There would be days like these where Nate would declare they couldn't carry on lying to everyone and participating in something that would end in tears. There were the other days though, the days Lydia cherished where Nate would take her out and gaze at her in a way that made all the complications worth it.

"The problem? The problem is you're a child and I feel like a criminal, that's the problem."

Lydia swallowed the hurt she felt and persisted.

"I'm not a child we both know that and if a crime is being happy then we should both be in jail."

Nate didn't know what to say or do as usual. He was so out of his depth he couldn't focus on anything anymore. Being with Lydia was affecting his work, it was infecting everything he had worked so hard for. Sure, he wanted Lydia more than anything but he loved her too much to continue with something that would inevitably blow up in their faces and affect everyone she cared about. At least that's what he told himself, he was mainly thinking of the reaction Serena would have if she ever found out. He'd be shut out of her life for good this time, no second chances. Somehow she hadn't crossed his mind until now, it was either betray someone he had loved and known all his life or end an affair with an infatuated teenager who could move on.

"Sometimes love isn't enough Lydia, one day you'll learn that. I have to go."

She didn't want to cry. She didn't want to be Leanne sobbing down the phone after realising she had lost her virginity and her heart to someone who couldn't give her a future. The tears fell anyway and the suffocating helplessness threatened to overwhelm her. Life really fucking sucked.

Adele and her parents were playing monopoly on a windy Friday night while Seb was out cultivating his reputation with Becky. Chuck couldn't believe how much he enjoyed playing board games on a Friday night when partying to unconsciousness used to once be a better fit. He kicked ass at monopoly which only enhanced it's appeal even if Adele complained that being a real estate tycoon in real life gave him an unfair advantage.

"I'll buy it!"

Blair groaned in frustration.

"Chuck stop being so fricking greedy!"

Frick and or fricking had become a well used non-word in the Bass family having replaced a rather more graphic swear word around their daughter. It held none of the same satisfaction and sounded a bit stupid but it had become so automatic that Chuck found himself bellowing at an employee Ned to 'get a fricking move on'. Needless to say it didn't produce the sombre expression from he was going for.

"You're only saying that because I took the last orange you needed to get a set."

"Aren't you captain obvious? You already have hotels on the green and blue as well as bankrupting Adele faster than the toy store on fifth avenue so why can't you at least be a little nice and let me have it?"

"Nice? When have I ever been described as nice? You know when? Never. You know why? Because nice guys end up with Nikki Forresters not Blair Waldorfs."

Adele screwed up her face in confusion, her parents always play fought and it slowed the game up, but since she was losing she was happy to prolong her failure in the hope of recovery.

"Who's Nikki daddy?"

"Exactly Adele! Exactly!"

He rubbed her back affectionately even though she had no idea how her question had become a right answer but she liked when her daddy smiled at her like that. Blair rolled her eyes and handed him over bow street.

"You are mean."

She wish she could come up with something more scathing but she was distracted with the blow to her strategy for domination now bow street was lost.

"I'm playing the game as it was meant to be played, I'm not a fricking charity."

"Will you at least then trade it for something of mine?"

Chuck looked her subtly up and down while Adele meticulously sorted her money into piles. A charming smile spread across his features.

"What did you have in mind?"

"A train station and $200."

"Frick off!"

"Frick you then."

They both laughed slightly.

"What about if I rendered certain services at a later date in exchange for said property and also if you spare Adele the next time she lands in your empire."

Chuck grinned.

"Whether you lose quickly or humiliatingly slowly is all the same to me."

He passed over the precious bow street and Blair gave him a soft kiss in thanks.

"You do have a heart after all."

"It beats only for you my shockingly bad monopoly princess."

Blair scoffed at his obvious cheesiness but kept her smile.

"You said I was the monopoly princess daddy!"

"I did? Of course I did but I change my mind, you have been promoted to monopoly queen."

"Cool! Although I think being a queen of anything in real life would suck."

Blair moved her money bags three spaces.

"Why's that sweetie? Travel, prestige, infinite wealth can't be all bad!"

"But in the old days you just got sold off to some foreign prince like one of daddy's property deals. You might get to dress up but what would be the point if it's for some old man you don't really know but have to marry?"

"You put a lot of thought into it and you make a good point. Are you sure you're only seven?"

"I read a lot about it with Seb, remember when he used to read me all the princess stories?"

"Yeah."

"He said it was better to dream of being one than wanting to actually be one which I thought was stupid as who doesn't want to be a princess? He told not being with the one you love was like being trapped in a tower like Rapunzel!"

She shuddered slightly at the thought.

"I'm sure some of them were happy."

"Yeah well I want to stay being me."

While Adele was explaining herself obliviously to her mother Chuck had snuck some extra fake notes into her piles, he might want to beat Blair but it didn't mean his little girl had to suffer. His wife pretended not to notice.

"I'm glad Addy, we don't want you getting any false airs or marrying away from us too early. We love you as you are."

"Even as queen of monopoly when you're only a princess?"

"As queen of monopoly, princess of chess, dame of checkers, lady of snakes and ladders, duchess of connect four and Mrs Peacock of cluedo."

Blair began tickling her as she recited overdramatically, real estate domination was all but forgotten as Chuck defended his girl against his wife by assaulting her with his hands also. Soon there was shrieking and laughing and little consideration of the green houses and red hotels scattered all about the room.

It had been three days since Nate had not-so-gently broken off his relationship with Lydia. He didn't worry she'd reveal everything to her parents out of spite, she wasn't like that but it didn't make him feel any better. How did he get himself into these positions? He thought he had learnt from his drama with Serena and then he goes and sleeps with her daughter. He was fucked up and he deserved to feel like a villain. He loved Lydia though, that was the best and worst part about it all. He wasn't with her out of spite or revenge, he had never meant to hurt her but he could only wonder if she had been anyone else's kid would he have made such an effort? He had always wanted some part of Serena to cling to, but he hated himself for not seeing it sooner.

"I'm sorry."

He didn't say it to anyone in particular as he couldn't bring himself to call the one who it is meant for, it lingered in the empty room as he contemplated his many regrets.

Dan was at the office less and less as the weeks progressed. He had seen something in his daughter that scared him. Serena was annoyingly upbeat and optimistic about the latest developments in their daughter but he didn't want to see Lydia with rose-tinted glasses, he wanted to see her as she was so he could help her.

"Something is wrong with her."

Serena sighed.

"She's worried about whether she got accepted into Yale and everything is changing for her at this age that's all."

"I barely see her touch her food and she goes out to parties only to come home so drunk Leanne has to try carry her upstairs."

"She's just having some fun after finals she's just like everyone else her age."

"But she's not, she's our daughter that's the point. She is smart and responsible and now suddenly she goes out every night and barely talks to us."

Serena was silent for a moment.

"I don't want to lecture her about it and push her further away. She is smart you're right and you just have to have faith she'll come to us if she needs to."

Dan was never ready for a teenage Serena all over again but here she was and he was out of his depth as a father.

After Nate ended things with Lydia they had successfully avoided each other but it didn't mean she didn't hear Serena excitedly discussing Nate's liaison with the mayor's daughter. Something had snapped in Lydia, she was sick of being what others wanted her to be. Seb was back to hating her again and Leanne had distanced herself from Lydia after her wild behaviour had got her in trouble with own parents. Her only ally lately had been Becky who had proved a trustworthy and loyal friend despite still dating the guy that despised her.

"So tonight I think we should hit a few clubs before the weather changes."

Becky was clapsed her hands together awkwardly.

"I'd love to but I'm seeing Seb tonight sorry."

Lydia smiled. She didn't want her friend to feel guilty when she could quite happily party on her own. She always had enough male attention to keep her from ever getting lonely.

"That's totally fine."

"Have you seen Nate lately?"

Lydia cringed, alcohol and other new distractions had dulled the pain of losing him but hearing his name still twisted something deep inside of her.

"No."

Lydia had told Becky about her relationship with Nate because she was too ashamed to tell Leanne and Becky didn't judge. She just needed to vent to someone or she felt she was going to collapse under the misery and isolation.

"Anyway I have to go to class so I'll see you later."

Lydia left only to encounter Leanne in the hallway.

"Hey Lee."

Leanne smiled brightly as if nothing was wrong.

"How are you Lyd?"

"Fine you?"

"Yeah great."

"Are you busy tonight?"

"Not really why?"

"I was thinking of hitting the town and wondered if you wanted to join."

Leanne looked conflicted, she missed spending time with her best friend and if that had to be while sneaking into clubs she'd make it work. She'd stopped hanging out with her long enough not to earn anymore of her parents wrath, she wanted to be there for her again. However thingd would have to be different.

"Will it be like last time when it took us an hour to get home because you vomited every half block? Or the time when I had to haul you to your living room just to let you pass out on the couch then get caught by your parents?"

Lydia felt sick just at the memory. This was never supposed to be her but that could be said for a lot in her life. She was finding out what sort of person she was and at the moment this Lydia liked to do all the things she used to look down at Seb for doing.

"No don't worry I'll be on my best behaviour I promise."

Her friend smiled, relieved.

"Okay then I'm in."

"Great!"

"Where are you going?"

Dan tried to sound as unrehearsed as possible, as soon as he saw Lydia descending the stairs in a dress that looked like lingerie he had decided to have the conversation he dreaded.

"I'm just going out daddy."

Daddy. The way she used it was like a slap in the face to hm, a tool of appeasement and persuasion to achieve what she wanted. There was nothing innocence about it anymore.

"Out where?"

Lydia hated her father's confused, concerned eyes. He was staring at her as if she was a stranger. He could still make her feel guilty and that was annoying as hell. Still, she wasn't going to conform to his expectations anymore. He was happy, everyone around her was happy with what they had except her, she wasn't going to sit around and watch it anymore.

"Just to a gig with Becky."

"Will you be home after?"

"Yeah of course."

"Fine then I want you home before one and if I smell alcohol I will ground you, do you understand?"

"Dad!"

"Yes that's right, I'm the parent and you're eighteen not twenty one as you seem to act. If you wanted to talk to me and let me in with whatever is happening in your life I'd be ecstatic but since you want to treat me like an idiot I'm going to take a hard line."

"Fine whatever."

"Also I'm going to assume you are putting jeans on under that top right?"

"It's a dress dad."

"No that really isn't and you're not wearing it out."

"Why are you always so controlling?"

"Because I want to sleep easy at night knowing my daughter is safe from rapists and sleazes which a 'dress' like that can only attract."

"You are so fucking judgemental! Just because you never did anything remotely interesting with your adolescence doesn't mean you can sit on your high horse and look at me like that!"

Dan wasn't sure what shocked him most, the swearing, the inaccurate description of his past or the venom with which it was spoken. He was sure he didn't deserve it and couldn't believe it was coming out of his Lydia.

"Mom help me!"

Serena had just entered the room hearing the commotion.

"What would you like me to say? Your dad is completely in the right."

"So one parent is a self-righteous jerk and the other is a hypocrite, great!"

Even Lydia couldn't believe what she was saying, all the blame she had for Nate was being inflicted full force on to her parents. She hated being so angry and this felt like the only resolution. Dan squared his jaw and tried to ignore her words.

"This just proves to me you're not mature enough to have so much independence so I'm grounding you."

"What?"

Lydia had never been grounded in her life. It was the latest indicator that things were far from okay in the Humphrey household.

"You heard me. Get used to the four walls of this house as you aren't leaving them until school."

Lydia smiled bitterly.

"So after years of putting your career ahead of me you've suddenly decided to play disciplinarian? Maybe if my father had made me feel worth anything when I was younger I wouldn't be like this."

Dan was speechless so Serena took over.

"Lydia go to your room before you say something you'll really regret."

Dan's hurt expression told Lydia she already had, she immediately felt horrible although not yet ready to apologise.

Dan was still staring at his hands after Lydia had gone upstairs so Serena sat next to him and kissed him.

"She's a teenager she doesn't mean it."

"What if she does though? What if I asked her to talk to me and she just did. I was never there for her like my dad was for me, I tried but I was so caught up with work."

"Don't feel guilty for wanting to build a life for your family. Besides me, Chuck, Blair we've all had more dismissive parents than you and we dealt with it. Whatever she's going through it's not because of us, she just knows how to manipulate you that's all."

"Well that's just great."

"You're the adult here darling you have to grow a tougher skin."

Serena was right but Dan didn't think he'd ever need one. Serena had been the target of gossip, spite and attention all her life so she had practically become immune to nasty comments but hearing them from your own flesh and blood had struck Dan hard.

"I know you're right."

Where was raising rebellious daughters for dummies when you needed it?