RJ & Hammy walked the house's rain gutter, stopping occasionally to kick aside dead leaves and twigs. The gutter carried them over the fence and to the front yard before stopping. RJ and Hammy slid down the end like a slide, and they emerged on the ground in the driveway. The pair paused a moment to take a long drink from a hose ("Cheating death can make a guy thirsty," RJ commented), and then continued on their way.
All was quiet in suburbia. Crickets chirped, leaves rustled gently in the wind and RJ heard the distant honks and rumble of cars on a freeway some miles away. He and Hammy walked on the sidewalk; they didn't have to worry about being spotted since it was so late. The few humans that saw them (if any) were likely to be too tired (or drunk) to care about a squirrel and a raccoon in their neighborhood.
Yet RJ got this eerie sense he was being followed. He tried to attribute it to being tired and needing sleep, yet he still couldn't shake the feeling that someone (something?) was tailing them. Apparently Hammy sensed it too: he walked a little closer to RJ, trembling, and was constantly checking over his shoulder. RJ scratched Hammy's ears, and the little squirrel seemed reassured. But who was going to reassure the reassurer? RJ wondered.
A twig behind them snapped.
The pair wheeled around, but there was nothing there. They looked up and down the sidewalk, up and down the lawns and driveways of the street — everything looked ordinary. But was it?
"Just the wind, Hammy," RJ whispered, as they turned around and continued walking. "Just the wind." He put a friendly paw on the nervous squirrel's shoulder, and felt him shaking badly. "Nothing to be scared of," RJ muttered, trying to convince himself. "Nothing."
They walked on. Since they hadn't been able to take the shortcut through the fence, it was going to take them considerably longer to get back to the log. RJ knew that at the moment he would have liked nothing more than to curl up in the log and sleep. They would have to get there first, though, so he and Hammy pressed forward.
A dog barked in the distance. Was that the wind, making that distant hissing noise? And (Hammy moved a little closer to RJ) why were the leaves rustling so loudly? They almost sounded like someone (something? RJ thought again) breathing. Was RJ just too aware of his surroundings or was something else going on?
He nearly had a heart attack when he heard voices. They were coming from a front porch just ahead of them. The light was turned on, but there were no humans outside. RJ looked closer and saw two figures sitting on the welcome mat, talking and laughing.
RJ sighed with relief. He knew those voices: It was Tiger and Stella, out on their date. And Stella was doing something RJ had never seen before ... she was giggling. Tiger was making her laugh like she never had before. RJ grinned: they were a cute couple. Perfect for each other.
"Vell, dinner vos vunderful," Tiger was saying, after he and Stella finished laughing, "and I 'ave to say, it is amazing to be talking to you, Stella. You alvays 'ave something interesting to share."
"Oh, stop," Stella said, and RJ knew she'd be blushing if she could. "Well, what about you? I had a lot of fun with you too. Somehow you always know what to say to me." She laughed again. "I can say confidently that I have never met anybody quite like you, Tiger."
"Just doing my job, miss," Tiger said, bowing and tipping an invisible hat, and he and Stella grinned at each other.
"We'd better go, Hammy," RJ whispered, tapping the squirrel (who was gazing at the pair with rapt attention). "Don't want Stella to think we're spying on her, do we?"
"What?" Hammy said, then looked back at RJ. "Oh. Uh. No, I guess not," he said, and started to walk forward again. Still, the pair couldn't help hear what Tiger had to say next ...
"Stella," he was saying, as he took her paws in his, "I vant you to know zis und know that I really und truly mean it. No vun has ever made me feel this vay. Not ever before."
Stella gazed, enraptured, at Tiger and started to lean it, but —
"AH-HA!" came an all too familiar voice, and RJ and Hammy nearly jumped out of their fur. Out of the shadows behind them came a very drenched and very angry gray cat. RJ and Hammy wheeled around in shock, but they weren't Snowy's target this time: She leapt over them, sending water everywhere, and ran to the porch where Tiger and Stella sat, their eyes widening in shock and, for Tiger, dread.
"He used that exact same line on me," Snowy snorted, trying to maintain as much dignity as possible as she dripped water everywhere. "You, Tiger," she said, throwing a fierce look at him, "have been ignoring me. You have been avoiding me and acting like the all-around scaredy-cat that you are. You dumped me," she screamed as she jerked her head at Stella, "and for this?"
"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" Stella growled, folding her arms. RJ saw her tail twitch and knew precisely what she wanted to do. Stella apparently had better self-restrain than that, however; she barely flinched when Snowy turned to her and sneered, "You're a skunk. He's a cat. And your children will be sterile, if you can produce them at all."
"I do not care!" Tiger suddenly shouted, looking Snowy right in the eye. "I love her. I vant to be vith her und nothing you can do or say vill stop me!"
"Could you possibly spout any more clichés?" Snowy said scornfully, prowling in front of him. "If you weren't so idiotic you'd realize that the whole inter-species thing is just not natural, and that you should have stayed with me! But hey, if you want to have a wife that will stink up the house for the rest of your pointless life, then why should I stop you?"
"Okay, jealous ex-girlfriend, that does it!" Stella yelled. "Tiger's made his choice and now I've made mine. So unless you want to stink as well, you'd better clear off!"
"You wouldn't dare," Snowy sneered, gazing at Stella angrily.
"Oh, wouldn't I?" Stella turned around and waved her tail. "One, two —"
RJ was suddenly knocked to the ground. Snowy had leapt from the porch and passed over his head, her tail knocking him in the face and causing him to lose his balance. The cat ran for it, her tail swishing behind her angrily. Suddenly she turned around and screamed at RJ and Hammy. "And someday I'll get you two!" she shouted at them, and then vanished.
"She's the one who needs to lay off the clichés," RJ muttered, picking himself up and dusting himself off. "Yes, Hammy, I'm fine," he said to the squirrel, who had been hanging around him anxiously.
"RJ?" Stella was approaching the pair, Tiger following behind her cautiously. "What are you guys doing here?"
"Oh!" RJ said, as he grabbed his bag and put it back on. "It's well — gee, it's kind of a long story..."
"You wouldn't happen to have been spying on us, would you?" Stella asked carefully, folding her arms again.
"See? What did I tell you?" RJ whispered to Hammy, who gulped. "No, Stella," RJ explained, "it's just that Hammy here ran out of cookies. We went to get more and that cat —" he jerked his thumb back behind him — "ran into us, then followed us. Mission accomplished, though."
Hammy hugged his back of cookies tight and grinned sheepishly at Stella and Tiger.
"Uh-huh," Stella said. She didn't sound convinced. "Well, anyway, you guys should head back to the log. In fact, maybe I should join you —"
"No, Stella, vait!" Tiger shouted suddenly, and Stella turned back to him. "I vant to spend more time vith you tonight," he murmured, holding her paws again.
Stella looked into his eyes. "Really?" she asked. "Even after all —" she sighed uncomfortably and averted her eyes — "all that that — woman — said about me?"
"Stella, look at me," Tiger said gently. Slowly Stella raised her head, and found Tiger gazing at her with affection. "She can say all she vants. She vill not change my mind." He smiled serenely at her. "I vant to be vith you."
Stella looked at him for a moment, and found a grin of her own spreading across her face. "Well, I suppose another drink or two won't hurt..."
She and Tiger walked paw in paw back toward the porch, and slipped through the cat flap on the front door.
"Interesting," RJ said, looking after them.
"What?" Hammy asked.
"Oh. Um —" RJ really didn't want to get into what he thought about Stella and Tiger right now, so instead he said: " — his collar. He doesn't need that fancy one anymore, remember? The neighbors down the street adopted him after Gladys went to jail."
"Oh. Right." Hammy sighed and stood up. "Can we please go home now?"
"Sure," RJ smiled and stood up too. "After you."
Hammy took two steps forward — and out of nowhere, a net closed around him.
RJ gasped. "Hey —" Hammy started to say, then he was suddenly lifted into the air. "Hey. Hey, wait a minute!" Hammy struggled to get out of the net but to no avail. "RJ! RJ, help!"
"I got you, Hammy!" RJ lunged for the net, but it was raised too high, even when he jumped for it. Desperately RJ reached for his bag for something to help — a fishing line, anything — and the bag wasn't there. It had vanished.
RJ wheeled around. Standing in the street in front of them was a huge, towering, gleaming white van, much bigger than the Verminator's had been. It had the word LABORATORY stamped across the back in big black letters, and had scary-looking equipment stapled to the top and sides. Standing in front of the van was a strange human — clothed in a bizarre outfit that included a large white coat that stretched down to his knees, he was holding the net that held Hammy prisoner and grinning sinisterly.
"Let him go!" RJ made for the human, but before he had even gotten close a net closed around him as well. RJ spun on his heel and saw another human, clothed like the first, holding the net firmly around the raccoon. Slung over the human's shoulder was RJ's bag.
RJ struggled, but the net only closed around him further as he too was lifted into the air toward the van. "Get off! Let him go! Let us go! Hammy!"
"RJ!" The little squirrel was being put into the back of the van. There were cages in there — rusty, dangerous-looking cages — and they had ropes. The human shoved Hammy into one of the cages and stretched the ropes tight. Soon Hammy's hands, feet and mouth were bound like he was some sort of hostage.
RJ's eyes widened in horror. "No! NO! Let him go! Get off! STELLA! TIGER! SOMEONE GET US OUT OF HERE!"
"RJ! Hammy!" he heard again, and saw Stella and Tiger racing out of the house toward them. RJ saw them screeching to a halt in horror as they beheld the sight of the van. Then they ran toward it — and RJ lost sight of them as he too was forced into the back of the van. The human's hands shoved RJ's net into one of the cages. Without taking RJ out of the net, the human stretched the ropes forward. Struggling madly, RJ tried to resist, but the human's hands were firm. RJ's feet, paws and mouth were bound so tightly that he could barely move.
The human withdrew his face from the cage and joined the other one, the both of them standing in front of the van's doors and beholding the sight of the madly struggling animals.
"Got a good crop this time around," RJ heard one of them say, and they both laughed. It was a chilling, evil laugh that sent shivers down RJ's spine. Something about these humans was very, very wrong.
"Yup," agreed the other. "Better head back, then."
The human reached out and grabbed the van's double doors. He began to pull them shut, and stopped — pausing one last time to look in at RJ & Hammy. RJ didn't move as he looked into the human's eyes. They were cold eyes, haunting eyes ... bottomless and dark. The human gazed at him for a moment, then smiled evilly.
"Sweet dreams."
Then the doors banged shut, and RJ's world was plunged into darkness.