Seeing Sense
The garage was dead for a Friday, but still Aaron refused Cain's offer to have the afternoon off.
"What's up? You had another row with loverboy? Aaron determinedly turned his back on his uncle. Hishead must be all over the show. You just have to pick your battles."
"Not anymore."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean we've split up, it's over, we are no longer dating. Do you get the idea?"
"Yeah, but why?"
"Why? I think it has something to do with the fact he 'wishes he had never set eyes on me'."
"He said that?"
"Yeah and that I put him in the hospital, so overall I'd say this is more than just a row."
Aaron opened up the hood of the only job they had on that afternoon to purposefully avoid his uncles penetrating stare as he felt tears welling in his eyes.
"He didn't mean it."
To his surprise he felt Cain squeeze his shoulder comfortingly.
"He did. Believe me you weren't there."
"Aaron he'd just found out he wasn't going to be able to walk or move again I think you should take that with a pinch of salt. He loves you and you know it."
"And I do love him."
He bit back instantly, before blushing furiously as he realized that was the first time he had ever said those words.
"Have you told him that?"
"N…no. I can't say the words."
"Then don't say it. Show it."
"I tried that. He won't let me help him."
"That'll be because he is embarrassed. He'll feel totally humiliated having to let his mum care for him never mind you."
"It's not just that. He thinks I'm staying with him out of guilt."
"Are you? If the accident hadn't have happened would you have been able to say you love him?"
"I…Ye…I don't know."
"Well what do you want him to think?"
"I just want him to believe I'm there because I want to be."
"And you're proving that how exactly?"
"What do you mean?"
"When did you have this argument?"
"Last Friday."
Aaron mumbled.
"And when was the last time you went to the hospital?"
"That would be last Friday."
"And that's my point. Now we are obviously not going to have a rush of customers in the next hour, so I am offering…no telling you to take the rest of today off and go to see Jackson."
"Bu…."
"No buts. Don't even think of coming back to work until you've sorted yourself out, because you are no use to anyone in this state and I will check with Paddy. Now go. Go." 'God I am getting soft in my old age.'
"Cain?"
"What?"
"Thanks."
"Go, before I change my mind."
Aaron had been sat in the Woolpack for over an hour, by himself when Paddy arrived. The mood he was in no one dared approach him, not even Adam who was sat at the opposite side of the bar with his mum and sister.
"What do you mean, what do I mean? It was plain and simple English Paddy, he told me to leave and not go back."
"And you listened to him?"
Paddy asked incredulously.
"He didn't give me a choice."
"He obviously wanted you to say you would stay."
Now Paddy was not an expert in these matters, but after his recent 'experience' with Rona and the ear bashing he received from Hazel that morning he felt more than qualified to impart his wisdom to Aaron.
"How do you work that one out?"
"He wants to know you will fight for him and not run at the first opportunity."
He parroted Hazel's line.
"How was I meant to know that?"
"Common sense. Or so he had been told. Aaron frowned in response. He doesn't know where you stand, so that was his way of testing you."
"I don't know where we stand either, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be there for him."
"Then why are you sat here?"
"I thought I was doing what he wanted."
Aaron stared at his now depressingly flat pint.
"Yeah well his head is all over the place at the minuet, so what he says may not be exactly what he wants."
"Wonderful. So now I have to read between the lines on everything that comes out of his mouth?"
"Not exactly, but before the accident he told you he loved you and-"
"I didn't say it back."
"Exactly. He just wants to know you are there because you want to be and not because you feel responsible for what has happened."
"And you got all of that from what I told you?"
Aaron sounded cynical, none of that had sounded like Paddy.
"That and quite a lengthy heart to heart with Hazel this morning. Aaron struggled to keep a straight face. The things I do for you."
"So, what you're saying is I should drink this pint and get my backside back to the hospital?"
"If that is where you want to be then yes, but you definitely need to talk."
"I know. We've both been doing our best to avoid the issue, not that it has been too difficult with everything that has happened, but he is being moved to that rehab place next week, so I guess it was always going to come up."
"And do you know how you feel?"
Paddy flushed at his own forwardness.
"Not exactly. I know I'm scared and I know that is selfish, because it's not even me going through all this it's Jackson."
"So, if he gave you the chance to walk away, no ties, no guilt, no blame, would you do it?"
"You can't ask me that Paddy. It would never be that simple."
"It must be. You're here."
"I was doing what he asked me to do for a change."
"No. You took the easy way out as soon as it was offered to you."
"It wasn't like that."
Aaron thumped the table in frustration spilling his untouched pint, but Paddy didn't move, not even slightly, he looked him straight in the eyes and no one even looked in their direction they were used to Aaron's outbursts.
"He gave you that chance and you took it."
"No. No I didn't. I was always going to go back. I just needed space to clear my head."
"It doesn't look like that from where I am sitting."
Paddy continued to goad him.
"You don't know what you're talking about."
"Put me right. Go on. Explain."
"I wouldn't leave Jackson now or ever."
"And why's that?"
"B…be…because…."
Aaron stuttered.
"That is a very persuasive argument."
"BECAUSE I LOVE HIM. I LOVE HIM, OKAY?"
This time everyone in the pub turned their attentions towards their table.
"Phheeeww. Paddy pretended to wipe his forehead over dramatically. And finally he got there."
"I'm going to be sick."
Gagging, Aaron sprinted to the toilets.
"Get a move on. I'll give you a lift back up to the hospital."