Chapter Four

As Mad as a Hatter

Edward's POV

"I must be crazy...I know I'm crazy..." my thoughts were running rampant, child-like disbelief plaguing my better senses as I trotted closely behind Jasper up a modest set of stairs inside of his quaint, clean apartment complex, my eyes darting to look at the extraordinary paintings on either side of us as we ascended to the second floor, "...because...there is no way that this is really happening..."

Jasper and I had spoken very little during our small venture back to his apartment, and I had become instantly awestricken once I realized that he was, in fact, taking me back to his place, trusting me implicitly even though it had gone against his better judgment back at the bar.

The jingling of keys brought me back to reality as Jasper unlocked his door and allowed me to enter ahead of him, every one of my senses committing to memory the way his black furniture was arranged inside the living room, the fresh linen and leather scent that wafted into my nostrils, and the overall feeling of safety that became me upon politely stepping inside.

"I'm sorry if you were wanting to go somewhere else..." Jasper's accented voice reached my ears as he stripped off of his coat and hung it up on the wooden rack beside us, allowing me an even better view of his lean build and strong stature as he shifted his weight on his feet whilst regarding me, his tone evidently uncomfortable and troubled about something.

"...if you wanted to go to a club or somewhere like that, you can...you do not have to stay here," Jasper finished explaining the reason for his discomfort or worry, his words bringing an effortless smirk to my face as I closed the distance between us, my movements smooth and sure, my conscious uncaring of the fact that I could lose my job over this.

Slowly, I reached both of my hands towards Jasper's breathtaking face, my eyes watching his every expression, my lips positively dying to feel his own, but my attempts were cut short as Jasper visibly flinched away from me, his hands curled into fists at his sides as he hurriedly turned away from me and towards his bright kitchen.

"Would you like something to drink, Eduard? Gin...or more vodka perhaps...?" Jasper tried to distract me with his offering of alcohol, but I would have no more of his dodging; he had me too entranced to even think about much of anything else at this point and I wordlessly stepped up behind him in his kitchen.

Carefully, with lingering touches that let Jasper slowly but surely get used to me, I pressed the front of my body against the back, of his feeling him initially tense up as a small gasp escaped him, before I placed my hands on his chest, effectively holding him to me.

I breathed in Jasper's intoxicating scent of snow-kissed cinnamon as I massaged Jasper's chest with my fingers, delighting in how I was able to feel him gradually release his tension until he tipped his head to a side in relaxation, his back and shoulders resting against my chest for support while I worked over his tight muscles.

"...mmn...that feels good..." Jasper whispered to me as I moved my hands to his shoulders, gripping and squeezing at the broad muscles there until I heard Jasper groan low in his throat in appreciation, reclining even more of his slender frame against my own.

"...see...why would I want to go anywhere else...when I could be right here...with you," I purred the truthful words against the side of Jasper's neck, feeling his delicious body shiver underneath my hands as I dug my thumbs into his shoulder blades, massaging large circles into his back that continued to pull noise after mind-altering noise from him.

"..Eduard...ooh...wait..." Jasper murmured a bit brokenly, as if he had not really wanted to say what he had, as the beautiful Russian before me began to slightly pull away from my touches, "...you should know...the last man who tried to touch me, I broke his fingers."

My usually precise, sharp mind having already been made radically numb to such notions of opposition, I used my hold on his shoulders to turn Jasper around so that he would face me, forever loving his sky-blue eyes that peered so readily into my own as I savored how intimately close he was letting me be with him right now.

"...you wouldn't hurt me...would you, Jascha...?" I spoke quietly, cognizant of just how delicate this situation was, as I slid my hands from Jasper's shoulders to either side of his face, trying again what I had attempted to do whence he had turned away from me.

I watched, my gaze unwavering as it was wholly captivated, as Jasper's eyes softly closed in remarkable peace once I held his perfectly shaped jaw inside my hands, my palms cradling his face affectionately and I knew I had the answer to my question.

Feeling emboldened, quite possibly like this was the first, real thing I had ever done in my fucking life, I brought us even closer together until I could feel Jasper's warm breath ghosting over me, and then gently pressed my lips to his, connecting us at last.

I sighed against his precious, powder-soft lips; relief, purpose, and staggering amounts of life positively flowing through me the moment I felt Jasper relax into our kiss, accepting me completely as he moved his lips along with mine.

Brilliant waves of consuming euphoria began claiming me at once, making my mind flash with fleeting, desperate thoughts of how I wished that Jasper belonged only to me, how I wanted these luscious lips to be mine to kiss as I pleased, as I parted Jasper's lips with my own and tentatively slid my tongue inside his warm cavern.

"...mmn..." Jasper hummed amiably against my mouth, our kiss being unbelievably gentle and mindful of one another, as if we thought that the other man might simply disappear or that this whole exchange was only a wonderful dream, as the knowledge suddenly struck me that I loved his taste of mild spices with a hint of sweet camomile.

I purred softly the moment I felt Jasper's hands at my back, clutching onto the fabric of my jacket as if silently pleading for me not to stop my careful ministrations with him, as I languidly stroked his velvet-soft tongue with my own, taking my time in bringing him subtle, comforting hints of pleasure as I relished in how his grip on my clothes became tighter as a result.

Jasper's satin lips closed around my tongue, suckling at the tip as I groaned at the absolutely soul-clenching sensations his blissful torture brought me, his honey-colored curls tickling my fingertips before I raised my hands even further into his hair, taking a hold of his textured mane as our kisses became much more intense, much more satisfying and brimming with red-hot fire to be felt.

My stunning Russian growled into my mouth upon having his hair pulled, and I felt his growing passion course through my every fiber with commanding force, our lips pressing together once more before Jasper suddenly detached himself from me with a step backwards, his eyes lowered as he blew out the remainder of his air.

"...what's wrong?" I asked, only able to remember to add my fake accent on the second word as I had clearly forgotten such trivial things in the midst of so much undaunted perfection, so much trapped, ravenous passion inside him that I wanted so badly to discover...even if it killed me.

I watched as Jasper brought a hand to his hair and tucked a few, longer curls behind his ear, the whole habitual gesture being completely endearing to me, as Jasper first cleared his throat before speaking.

"I um..." Jasper hesitated, seeming to be searching for the right words to say, the right emotions to sort through within himself, and I found myself sympathizing for him and his obvious lack of experience of intimacy as I clung to each and every one of his words to me, "...it's just been a long time since anyone has kissed me like that, you know..."

My heart melted, my soul soared, my world brightened as I stood there opposite of the most beautiful, charming man I had ever met inside of his plainly furnished apartment in Nizhny Novgorod.

"Jascha..." I began, words of consolation hot of my tongue as I took a step towards him, but any words I had been about to say were smoothly cut off as Jasper gingerly pressed the length of his toned, extraordinary body against my own, meeting me half way as he openly welcomed my advances and sought out my touch.

"...let us go to bed, da?" Jasper spoke quietly, his sapphire orbs lifting up to read my features as he gently touched his fingers along my covered forearms, his thighs and abdomen just barely pressing against my own as he and I remained sinfully close to one another.

"...not for what you are thinking, Eduard..." Jasper explained with a tilt of his angelic, blonde head, having mistook my silence in which I genuinely drowned in his affection and intoxicating aura that made the rest of the world crumble away, as he continued, "...I didn't invite you here for that...just sleep..."

"I'd love to," I provided easily, smiling at the way Jasper offered me a small smirk as well, seemingly pleased that I had agreed to his request that had honestly made my chest swell with growing pride and humility that someone as enchanting yet secluded as him would ask me to do these things with him.

"...I'd be crazy not to..." I mentally reminded myself as I loyally followed Jasper out of his kitchen and down the short corridor to the back rooms of his apartment.

My fingers flexed automatically at my sides upon seeing his pristine, blue and white-designed bed and sophisticated bedroom, my nerves trying to re-establish themselves within me as I noticed the way Jasper sat down on his bed so he may remove his heavy boots.

"I have him...I really have him...all to myself...he trusts me so much...it's unreal..." my thoughts were solemn inside my mind, sobering, as I padded over to the small, white couch that was located at the foot of his bed, stripping my clothes and laying them out there as Jasper stood up from sitting on his bed.

"I'll be right back...I'm just going to shut off all the lights," Jasper said to me as he walked out of his bedroom, still fully clothed save for his shoes, as I let my mind turn over such information as I crawled on top of his immaculately pliant mattress and slipped underneath the patterned duvet.

True to his word, as soon as I heard a few light switches get flicked off, rendering the entire apartment practically coal-black where even shapes of furniture were no longer visible, Jasper returned to the bedroom and began lifting his long-sleeved shirt over his head.

"Jascha..." I cooed his name, knowing that I was pressing my luck with such a bold move as I stretched an arm forward and clicked on the small lamp that sat on his bedside table, offering a subtle yellow glow to streak across the darkened room so I may see him.

That which I saw made my lips part and my tired eyes widened in shock.

Jasper froze for a moment upon discovering that I was now looking at all of him, his hands inching his black jeans slowly down his narrow hips as my eyes roamed over the many, significant tattoos and scars that his slender, athletic body carried.

The word 'Morozov' was tattooed in large, elegant writing across his abdomen, Russian phrases that I could not recognize littered his sculpt arms, and two, differing snowflakes decorated each side of his broad chest.

Jasper lowered his cobalt eyes from mine, thoughtfully licking his tempting lips as he finished stepping out of his pants, leaving him clad in only his black boxer briefs, as I watched him gather his discarded garments in his arms before turning around to deposit them in a small, wicker hamper in the corner, revealing the tattoos that were inked along his back in the process.

A banner scrolled flowingly along the width of his shoulders, designed with a few, key Russian words that I might have been able to read in better light, as the majority of Jasper's back depicted the striking Saint Basil's Cathedral in a clean, colorless tattoo that left me quite speechless upon seeing so much detailed artwork on this man.

These tattoos had to have come from years of being a high-ranking member within the Morozov Faction, him having stood the test of time within such a scrutinizing environment, and they had inked him accordingly.

Jasper's snowflakes...had meant that he had spent time in Russian prisons prior to this.

Jasper sighed sorrowfully through his nose as he stood back up to his full height, his back still to me, as he blatantly stalled before facing me, and I could feel his self-consciousness and possible shame about his tattoos, and I felt my initial shock upon seeing them leave me in an instant, allowing me to recall just how vastly I was falling for him regardless.

"Come here..." I spoke tenderly to the sullen man before me, watching through the glow of the lamp as Jasper finally turned around in his spot, casting his hopeful eyes my way for a solid moment, before obediently padding across the room towards the bed.

I smiled softly, my eyes drinking in the long lines of expertly crafted muscle and sinew that moved over one another as he walked the short distance to me with almost god-like grace, his strong frame only accentuated all the more by the expansive tattoos that were etched into his creamy, alabaster skin, as I watched as Jasper crawled into the bed next to me, settling underneath his thick blankets and smooth sheets as well.

Lying on our sides, facing each other, I grinned at the way Jasper closed his eyes in utmost serenity whilst I brushed a few of his curls away from his brow, my fingers merely ghosting across his chiseled features, and I savored how such a troubled, dangerous man was able to draw so much peace from me like this.

The apartment was quiet, the bedroom even more so, as I relaxed my muscles against the cloud-like bumps and grooves of the mattress and blankets that cradled our forms, my soul in genuine peace for the first time in what felt like ages, and I found myself breathing easier the moment I felt Jasper rest his hand along my chest.

"...dobroy nochi, Eduard," Jasper whispered 'good night' to me in his native language, his eyes still closed peacefully as his blonde locks were splayed beautifully across his white pillows, his hand warm and comforting against my skin as I briefly considered the idea that he needed to touch me like this...to make sure that he was not alone anymore.

"I'll make sure he's not alone anymore...I want to be with him...always," I mentally concluded as I licked the roof of my mouth before speaking to my lovely Russian angel sleeping right before my eyes, like a small miracle meant for only me to witness.

"Good night, Jascha..."

Author's Note: Hopefully by now, we all understand that I am using titles and crap from Alice in Wonderland. If you can think of any other awesome titles for me to use later, PLEASE tell me in a review or message because...yeah, I need them lol. XD Cheers!