EPOV
I race down the in a mad panic, I'm late for my latest therapy session with Victoria. She is about to give me an update on my 'progress' and I am late. ... Again.
Carlisle is going to have my fucking ass.
I reach the door and take a lungful of air, will myself to calm down and knock on the glass sheeting of the door.
"Come in." She calls.
I open the door and enter the room. Victoria sits at her desk, her legs crossed and her arms are folded she does not look happy.
"Edward Hello, come take a seat." She gestures to the seat beside on the other side of the desk and I silently take it.
"Victoria, it's nice to see you again." I lie threw my teeth because this bitch is the reason I have been coming here every summer for the last three years. Christ, she is so excessive. She is sitting there in leather skirt which is painted on (as per usual) with a white shirt, her tits are almost popping the buttons and she has the most un natural red hair I have ever seen.
"I'm very well Edward. Now as you know I am here to discuss how things are progressing. It has been a week and a half since our last meeting and I would like to know what information you may have for us." She raises her eyebrow in question and I don't even answer.
"I believe we may be on the right track." She answers for me. "Some of the group as in the likes of Jasper Hale seem to have taken to the programme quite well. Although he is scarred not just physically but also emotionally he seems to handle this by being a recluse and does not interact well within the group don't you think?"
"For one, we here to talk about me not Jasper are we not? And isn't it against the doctor, patient confidentiality to be discussing this with me?" I ask.
She scoffs and rolls her eyes."My dear Edward, just remember I am your mentor and as such I am at liberty to discuss all things that I deem to be affecting you progress in relation to your recovery."
Affecting me, what does Jasper have to do with my recovery? Fucking bitch what is she implying?
"So aside from the fact you are late and look like utter shit how do you think you're tracking? Do you see any improvement?" She asks again, and again I do not answer.
This is how it always is in these meetings. It's so fucked up and wrong for me to be doing this but at this point I am almost willing to try anything to get my degree finished. I needed to get out of here. I was in my fourth year of training to become a psychologist when I found out I had failed. Four years, four years of my fucking life wasted.
"Do you think that the latest course of therapy is working for you? How do you feel about it?" She asked again.
"Why the fuck are you asking me? Aren't you the psychiatrist?" I spat.
"Oh Edward." She sighed. "I can see you are in one of your moods today." She looks disappointed.
She asks me about how I 'feel' being back at St Augustine's, about my home life, school and my past. These are the things I have the most trouble talking about. So I don't. The rest of our meeting goes by in much the same fashion her doing most of the talking and me trying my best not to sound like a fucking moron until finally our meeting is over.
I sigh in relief as I exit the door and head to down stairs. Fuck I need a cigarette; I'm antsy as all shit and need to calm my nerves before group therapy. Oh yeah that's another thing I love about this place not only did they expect you to divulge your deepest and darkest to a presumptuous bitch who has a thing for Italian leather and clown coloured hair. But they then expect you to discuss the shit with random strangers who nine times out of ten are highly likely to judge you more harshly than a person who is surrounded by the fucked-up-ness of this hell hole.
I lean back against the brick wall, close my eyes and take a long desperate drag before pulling the cigarette from my lips I inhale as the burn of the smoke hits my throat and lungs.
Ahh that's better.
"Hey Edward." An all too familiar voice sings.
I look up to find Alice standing with the dark haired girl I had pummelled in the hallway yesterday.
"Edward, this is Bella" She smiles at her new toy widely.
Alice's arm is linked with hers and Bella is looking at me really weirdly it's uncomfortable and fucking awkward.
"Hello? Earth to Edward.. Are you coming?" Alice' fingers are suddenly clicking inches from my face as she begins to walk away.
I hit them away with the back of my hand and tell her to piss off while I take another long puff and inhale deeply.
"Fuck you" She spits and storms away in a huff dragging Bella behind her.
I immediately feel shitty. I don't mean to be a dick but I have very little patience, it's just in my nature to be a prick.
I stand against the wall smoking and wait for Jasper. He turns up just as I stub out my smoke and we head inside together.
...
BPOV
"Wow what an ass." I whisper to Alice as she stomps her feet up the concrete stairs to the East wing of the building.
"He's not usually like that." She mumbles and she seems overly quite as she pulls me into a large white room. There in the middle of the room on a square black rug sits a man. His long sandy hair is tied in a loose ponytail, he has deep ocean blue eyes and his skin is so white it looks like porcelain.
"Alice my dear, punctual as always." He grins at her.
"James." She greets him with a sarcastic tone and a fake smile. I look around and notice allot of people are already lounging about haphazardly on the mat. Lauren is lying on her stomach her upper body propped up by her crossed forearms. A dark haired girl called Jessica sits in the same position beside Lauren. She is wearing a short tartan mini skirt and a black singlet. Her breasts are pushed up and are almost spilling out of her top.
Emmett and Mike who I meet earlier sit to the left of them but back slightly. Emmett Lies on his side and Mike is on his back leaning on his elbows. He looks like total perv and it's beyond obvious he is trying to look up Jessica's skirt.
"Ah and this must be Bella Swan." He smiles slyly at me. Alice squeezes my hand firmly as I nod to James in recognition still slightly disgusted at mikes behaviour. Maybe I should tell Jessica? I notice Alice's sweaty hand shaking; she is not saying much and seems overly anxious. I am about to ask her what is wrong when I loud bang followed by some jerking movements come from the door.
"Well, how nice of you boys to grace us with your presence." I look over my shoulder to see Jasper and Edward dawdling into the room looking annoyed and uninterested.
"Now shall we begin?" He asks as Edward and Jasper sit to the right of us. Alice seems to relax and let's go of my hand. I frown puzzled by her bizarre mood as the group nods.
"So ... Most of you have been here before and you know how this process works. This is a free and open forum; we are here as group to help each other overcome the issues that have brought us here. As you all know you do not have to disclose any information you do not want to, but be aware if you participate in these classes your recovery will be smoother and indeed a faster one."
"Nothing discussed within these four walls is to leave them. Along with the promise that nothing disclosed in this room will be repeated. I will remind you all that as always there will be no need for negativity or judgmental comments in this class." James looks at the class sternly his eyes fixing on Edwards.
"Do we all understand?" He asks and the class answers 'yes' in unison.
"Right let's begin. Everyone form a circle now once I call your name I would like you to state exactly why they think they are here at St Augustine's." He grins at me and it's unnerving.
I look over at Lauren who is whispering something in Jessica's ear. Slowly she turns to me and smiles slyly, she then looks behind her and catches Mike who is so lost in his perverted gaze he doesn't even notice her that is until she moves her crossed legs from behind her and opens them all the while staring directly at me. I gasp in absolute shock, she knows mike is looking at her yet she welcomes it? In fact she actually wants him to look more.
"Jessica, since you're obviously not shy how about you go first." James pulls me away from my shocked ogling and I notice the whole group bar Mike and Jessica are staring at me with amusement in their eyes.
"Right, well as most of you already know I'm an exhibitionist. I have been done for indecent exposure, lude behaviour in public and the like. I find it hard to keep a boyfriend or a job for that matter it really affects my whole life." She grins in my direction and I can't even look at her face.
The class passes buy fairly quickly and I soon find out why Emmett and Mike are here. Funny I never figured Mike as a compulsive liar, a gambler, a pervert yes. But not a liar. Poor Emmett he had said in a roundabout way that his addiction to steroids had lead him to other drugs. This was all in order to get a football scholarship. His parents were dirt poor and couldn't afford to send him to a good College. The scholarship was the only way. His parents disowned him once they found out about it all and now he works in construction. He comes here every summer to keep on top of his addiction as he is afraid of a relapse.
"Excellent Emmett, Mike." James praises them.
"Alice, your turn? " He asks her.
"K.. Umm well I suppose there's no easy way to say this but my mum sent me here because.. Because I umm .." She stutters away and I am shocked to see Alice in such a state. She is usually not just in control but also confident and self sure. Yet here she sits a sweaty nervous wreck.
"Come on" James encourages.
"I'm bipolar." She whispers her voice laden with shame. I grab her hand from her lap and squeeze it gently. I know she is hurting. Usually I am a bit stand offish with her because well I had thought she was crazy. And even know with confirmation that she is, I can't help but feel sorry for her. Does that mean she has mixed personalities? What is Bi-polar? I know it's something bad, note to self Google it tonight.
"Hmm who's next?.. Bella?" James turns to me smiles sweetly.
All the blood drains from my face and I notice the whole class is looking at me wanting me to spill it. Fuck! What am I going to say? How on earth do I explain it?
" I umm dream." I answer lamely.
"What do you mean dream?" Asks Lauren and I immediately want to stab her.
"I ... its bad dreams." I stutter and I can feel my whole face start to burn. It's ok, it's ok, its ok I chant to myself. You don't need to go into the gory details. Stick to the basics and it will be fine.
"Like nightmares?" Emmett asks and now I want to snap his neck.
"Uh yeah." I mumble not really wanting to go into this with a bunch of strangers.
"So is it the same dream over and over? What happens?" Mike questions and he is immediately on my shit list. I hate him.
"What don't you trust us or something?" Lauren accuses. Fuck this is so embarrassing and I know now I have to tell them. It's that or be a complete loner the whole time I'm here.
"Fuck" I whisper.
"Yes please" Lauren laughs and I go beet red.
"Yes the nightmare is always the same... I dream I'm being raped." I whisper and I'm trying desperately not to cry. I do not want them to see me cry, I don't want them to see me so affected by it.
"Ok well if it's just night terrors why don't they give you medication for it, you know sedate you and shit." This time it is Edward who speaks.
"They did once and it didn't work, it almost killed me." I answered.
"How? Did you overdose? " James asked sounding curious.
"Oh no nothing like that" I assured him. Geeze the last thing I need is for him to think I suicidal.
"It's not just that I dream but sometimes they are vivid and real I panic." I explain and the class including James stare at me blankly so I continue.
"Usually I wake up before they become too horrific. I will wake in a sweat, with bruises and marks because I am sore but when I am sedated I don't wake unless the pain is pretty bad."
"They gave me a sedative before I slept once and when I woke I was covered in bruises. My heart was beating so fast I ended up in hospital. I thought I had just had another panic attack. It wasn't until later I was told it was a heart attack."
"That's wicked crazy." Jasper mused.
"So why being raped? Are you afraid of sex or something?" Mike asked.
"Umm I dunno." I lied outright blushing like a complete idiot.
"Wait what? Are you a virgin?" Jessica asked in disbelief.
"No, but I do believe in waiting for the right one not anyone. ...I don't go around screwing anything with a heartbeat." I answer proudly.
"Right, Enough from Bella." James interjected and I was secretly thankful.
"Edward, your turn I think." He rubbed his hands together wickedly.
"I'm Edward Cullen I'm what people call a nymphomaniac and yes just so you all know I do fuck anything with a heartbeat." He replied smartly
...