Okay... 1 - I'm sorry for the delay, this chapter was really hard! 2 - I am still not sure on it but i have chopped and changed it so much I just think you need to read and let me know 3 - Thank you to those who are reviewing, it's lovely to hear what you think.

Warning - This chapter has scenes of domestic abuse in. I haven't written in detail but I have tried to make it clear to you what M is being put through, again not easy...

Set at the same point Chapter Three started

That week pushed both to their limits, both emotionally and physically.

M's Monday morning was nothing but expected, her alarm woke her at 5 and showered quickly, changing in the bathroom to avoid too much attention from her husband. He didn't have to wake until after 7 but if he was awoken by her morning preparations it would normally result in a bad day all round. She returned from the bathroom to see his sleeping form facing away from her. She breathed a sigh of relief and went downstairs where she made his lunch and prepped veg for their dinner that night. At 0600 she saw the car pull up and quietly left the house.

On arriving in the office she buried herself in paperwork, calling Q up around 0800 to discuss special water equipment that would be needed by 009 in the next few weeks. After an hour and a half they were settled on the equipment types and transit arrangements. As Q left Moneypenny came in, looking somewhat concerned,

'Ma'am'

'Yes Moneypenny'

'Is Bond in trouble?'

M bristled slightly, although so acutely she didn't think Moneypenny noticed.

'Why do you think that?'

'He came up, looks like death, he waited for close to an hour to see you and then told me to call him the minute you were free…' She was looking straight at M, waiting for instruction, she probably thought something went wrong at the dinner.

'He isn't in trouble here' She paused to consider a worthy excuse 'He is probably wanting a case, we have kept him out of the field since Australia, he never was one to follow protocol'

M watched as Moneypenny's face lightened into a small grin

'So he is just being same old Bond then?'

M forced a smile along with her

'Yes, we will leave him stew while I get through this paperwork and then we will call him up here.'

Moneypenny nodded and turned to leave, stopping in the doorway to speak again

'He didn't look well, I was a little worried'

M could see how she felt unnerved and offered a genuine smile

'I'm sure he is fine Eve'

'Yes Ma'am'

She left the office looking more reassured about Bond. M however buried her head into her hands, she had tried all morning to ignore every little thought of Bond that came into her mind and there was Moneypenny bringing him up, expecting answers she couldn't give. She felt the troubling urge to call him up to the office to sit on the sofa as she cried into his lap about the night before and have him take her to somewhere safe and not leave her side. But her pride wouldn't let it, whatever else Greg was, he was firstly her husband. She disregarded the thoughts and pushed on with her paperwork. She found it easy to conceal herself in her work; she had done it for years before. There was something in the power and control over everything in her work sphere that made all the pain and fear disappear, on the nights she couldn't sleep she either found herself working thought things in her mind or would quietly move herself into her study. The hours passed quickly as she made the correct phone calls and signed off all of the paperwork she had left from the previous week.

She took a deep breath and leant back into her chair, closing her eyes she allowed her mind to drift over the weekend: The dinner had been a success, as the letters of recommendation for grants and approvals this morning had proven. She had returned to her room excited in the idea of sleep and relaxation and had entered to find Greg sat on the sofa of her room, drunk and domineering. She had resigned herself to the worst, tried pitifully to reason with him, although she knew it would only make him laugh at her when it was all over. Then, out of nowhere, Bond had arrived, grabbed him and pulled him from her, she was sure he would have killed him if she hadn't managed to stop him and now she was questioning whether she should have; there were moments where all she wanted was for Greg to suffer and die for what he put her through.

She brought herself back into her world of the living and stood, walking aimlessly around because she felt if she sat still she may burst. Bond had taken her, removed her from the danger Greg was and kept her safe, not only physically but let her break down into his arms. He had been something she wasn't used to having, a sort of external pillar of strength; someone she could discuss her pain and trouble with. The problem was she couldn't work out if she found this a blessing or not, he had been perfectly caring and made her feel secure but she was so scared to let anything come of his attention. She remembered how she had kissed him, she had wanted him in a way her husband had forbidden her from and her main fear was what if he found out, if this was how he treated her when she was faithful, she dreaded how he would treat her if he discovered she had spent the night in someone else's arms.

The thoughts made her hands begin to tremble, and she felt small shivers of fear begin up her spine. She couldn't let him in, if she let Bond care for her she wasn't sure she could return to Greg and he was her husband. She resolved herself to dismiss the events of the weekend, Bond was her employee and that was final.

Or so she thought.

She found she had to use her entire will power to ignore the need for his comfort, as soon as he entered her office she could see what Moneypenny was referring to he looked tired, worn, almost defeated. Things Bond made sure the never was. Each time he looked at her she felt emotions constricting her chest, she avoided eye contact, it made it easier to remain professional. She knew he was watching her but acted as un-phased as possible. They rest of the day past quickly, between meeting and phone calls there wasn't a moment where Bond had the chance to see her alone and she kept her mind busy enough to block out any other thoughts.

At around 1900 she left, as she arrived home she heard nothing and breathed a sigh of relief. Her night was uneventful, with Greg returning just after 2200 she re-heated the food she had made earlier and left him to the television as she moved to the bedroom. She slept fitfully that night, waking every couple of hours and struggling to return to sleep. 0500 came all to quickly as she carried out her usual moring routine and headed into work. The Prime Minister was having one of his many tantrums so M spent most of her day out of the office, an easy way of avoiding Bond. Her night was as uneventful as the night before and although Greg's vindictive snipes at her and his criticism over the food, he wasn't physical, which made it a good night.

Wednesday was less straight-forward, Bond would be going back into the field. This didn't usually concern her but as soon as Tanner mentioned they needed Bond on the mission she felt tightness in her stomach. Although she felt she couldn't accept his offer of solace, it was comforting having it all the same and the idea of him being over 2000miles away, involved in a mission where they suspected they had already lost one 00 was unnerving. She called a meeting and was concerned that Bond looked even worse than he had on Monday, her and Eve shared a momentarily look of concern to each other. As the meeting drew on she found it increasing more difficult not to look at him, he looked ill, eyes bloodshot which she imagined was due to too much whiskey.

It was impossible for her to sit in this state of mind so she circled the room while Tanner briefed Q and Bond on the details surrounding the mission. She was only half listening until she heard Q's amused voice

'We all like our Sunday afternoons after all'

Her mind filled with images of her bathroom and Greg's grunts and malicious whispers, she flinched, she knew she had and however subtle she was she was sure Bond had seen, for the first time she looked up into his eyes and, as expected, she felt all the agony, torment and grieve show themselves to him.

The rest were oblivious to the tension between her and Bond and she made her way quickly to her chair, feeling weak and not trusting her legs. She forced all emotion away and returned to the mission

'We need to look past this, if 004 is out then we need to re-strategise.' She found it hard to keep her voice level and Q's brow twitched slightly as he looked at her,

'So what exactly is the mission?' Bond questioned, drawing Q's attention from her.

Tanner explained the mission logistics and M found her strength again and joined back in with her confident tone.

'When do I leave?' Bond retorted, looking directly at Tanner as M looked at him, feeling a mixture of concern and hurt, neither she felt she should be feeling. Why was he so willing to leave? She knew he enjoyed his job but he had been so adamant about looking after her and now he was practically running from the country. She began to consider if he didn't care at all and he had merely felt obliged.

The meeting ended quickly and without input from M, as they were packing away she caught eyes again with Eve and nodded gently at her. She swallowed hard and begged her voice to stay calm.

'Bond' He turned and she held his eyes, desperately trying not to give anything away in her eyes.

'I want you to go down to the doctor and have an evaluation, I also think over the next few days you need to head to combat and the gunnery. It has been a while since you were in the field'

He turned and nodded before exiting wordlessly, another stab to her as she began to chew the inside of her cheek.

M saw Moneypenny's concern and waved her off before she spoke.

'Call the doctor and the training facilities, I want them to fully test him and I want to know when he is scheduled in for everything, we will keep an eye on him'

Moneypenny gave a relieved sigh and nodded before leaving. M walked over to the window, feeling tears begin to slip down her cheek. She let them.

She had summoned Tanner and Eve into her office after receiving Bond's medical reports, she told them he had some grey areas but overall had passed, not the entire truth but M knew how much he could handle and, as long as he passed the physical, he would be fine on the mission. As they sat discussing him M's phone rang, it was the combat facility informing M that Bonds evaluation was scheduled for the following day. As M relayed the information Tanner typed at the wall computer and pulled up the CCTV of the gym, where Bond could be seen stretching.

'His evaluation is tomorrow Tanner, we do not need to watch practice' M said with emphasis as Eve's face flushed with excitement before she noticed M's pointed look and schooled her features.

'Ma'am if he is under-par we need to brief another agent, the earlier we know the better.'

As M had no argument they sat and watched Bonds workout, he easily ticked all of the boxes for the medical, as Eve and Tanner praised. M however found his display of strength slightly frightening, 'he has more power than Greg' a small voice said 'He could do more damage'. She shook herself mentally, 'Bond wouldn't dare, he has too much respect for me, and anyway he sees me as his boss, not a woman, he would never'. She frowned too herself, hating the way her mind made her worry.

Bond moved out of view of the camera and Tanner tapped a couple of the keys to bring up the camera placed in the combat area. They watched his weak swing and Tanner looked at M, before she could speak Eve piped up.

'Give him a second'

And they did, watching as he drew back looked at the punch bag and swung again, they could all see his focus in the hits he made. M felt she knew who he was imagining the punch bag was, and she felt a mixed sense of being protected and feeling completely vulnerable. As he finally began to relent they watched as he swayed where he stood he turned slowly looking directly in the direction of the camera, only focused about 6 foot below it, they wondered who had entered as they saw him step forward. They watched in almost slow motion his legs gave way and him fall to the floor.

M Stood from her desk her heart pounding with fear, as Tanner excused himself she fell back into the chair as Eve paced around.

'He will be fine' she heard herself saying when Eve asked for her input.

20 minutes later Tanner returned and Eve rushed to him expectantly,

'He is fine, dehydrated, that's all'

'Then why the hell was he training so hard?' M snapped.

'He said to tell you that he was preparing for when the time comes.' Tanner shrugged and eve looked confused, M swallowed and nodded.

'Eve take him some food and a god-damn drink. We need him functioning for the mission' the words sounded foreign on her tongue.

She dismissed everyone the rest of the day, stating she had too much paperwork to have meetings that were not essential. Eve did well at fighting off the masses and felt M alone for most of the time, only occasionally bringing in more paperwork from various departments. M called home to tell Greg she would be late, not that he was concerned. Her mind wouldn't let her focus and the more she tried to work the more her mind drifted to Bond.

By 1945 she found she couldn't concentrate anymore and would have to return home, this thought, although never a happy one, was made worse by the fact her husband would have called a hooker like he did every Wednesday (a midweek treat for himself at M's expense), usually M would stay late at work but tonight it would be impossible, everything reminded her of Bond. She knew she could go home and slip into the study; she had come home before to find her bedroom occupied, but it wasn't an appealing option. She searched for a late night art gallery or something but she knew she had no choice. She packed up and left the office stopping in the doorway as she noticed Bond.

By the time she actually left the building it was gone midnight, she had dismissed her drivers hours before and instead caught a taxi home. She undressed quickly and grabbed her night things from the bedroom before moving into the smallish guest room that had been her youngest child's bedroom before he moved away to university. She slipped into the bed and drifted straight off to sleep feeling better than she had the previous nights.

She woke to the distant sound of her alarm, it took her a moment to get her bearings before she realised and rushed from the bedroom. She had just made it to the door of the master bedroom when the sound stopped. She caught her breath as she saw Greg with his hand on top of her alarm glaring angrily through tired eyes.

'What have I warned you about waking me in the morning' He growled as he threw the covers from him and began towards her

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry' she cried as he grabbed her and pushed her hard against the door frame

'Why the hell were you in the guest room?!' He screamed at her, dragging her further into the bedroom

'I… I didn't want to interrupt…' She whimpered as he shoved her down so she was trapped between the bed, the wall and his body.

'LIAR!'

he shouted, shoving her shoulder back down as she tried to stand, he sat on the bed and kicked off his sleeping pants

'You're wearing your pajamas! You must have come in to collect them… I'm not a fool, you pathetic idiot!'

He grabbed her hair and pulled her in between his legs, when she struggled he grabbed her right arm and twisted it behind her back, she whimpered and went limp, following his commands as tears rolled down her face.

She was late into work that morning, she wore an unreadable mask as Moneypenny questioned her on it, answering with vague answers that would put the younger women at ease. Her day passed in a flurry of meetings, schedules and signatures. She avoided using her right arm, her shoulder sore from the rough treatment that morning. She saw little of Bond and refused to tell him, she avoided eye-contact as he would see immediately that something had happened. As the day wore on she found herself hoping that he would guess, she wanted him to question her on it, but he didn't, he seemed to continue her level of professionalism and she be damned if she crawl to him for comfort. She finished promptly at 1800, as Greg had instructed her that morning, and headed down to her car, she entered the car park and noticed Bond's car was gone.

When she arrived home, Greg wasn't there, which meant he must be drinking. She hurried to the kitchen and sorted dinner, as she was taking it from the oven she heard the front door open and close. She kept plating up their food, even as she heard him enter the kitchen. She couldn't give him a moment of weakness or he would punish her for that morning. Once she had finished plating the food she turned to him, stepping back towards the sink so he could take his food without coming to close to her.

He moved into the room, staring down at the salmon and rice she had plated. He reached for his plate, but in a split moment swiped both from off the counter onto the floor at M's feet. She turned away from him clutched to the counter in front of her, her nails digging into the soft waterproof seal underneath. He reached around her and pulled her backwards against him, fingers around her throat. She didn't even attempt to fight against him, although lights began appearing in front of her eyes, she felt herself weakening and the blackness cloud her mind.

She woke later, on the kitchen floor, her clothes were disheveled and torn, and she felt a throbbing in her body and stickiness on her side. She stood shakily and began to wretch into the sink. The house was quiet, no sound of the television. Her head ached and her movements were sluggish. She moved up to the bathroom and stripped off her clothes, the stickiness was a mixture of blood and dill sauce, she had cut herself on part of the plate. She showered quickly and got out of the bathroom, where the memories of Sunday were suddenly vivid and raw. She moved into the study but didn't make it to the desk chair, she collapsed down onto the floor and cried, reaching for her mobile she had brought up earlier she held down the 7

'Call... Bond' the screen read.

She stared down at it through her tears and threw her phone across to the other side of the room.

She had no idea how long she stayed on the floor for but at some point she remembers moving back downstairs at some point to tidy the mess. She remembered falling asleep and then she remembered feeling Greg pull her under him and his whispered,

'This is our bed, This is where you sleep... Or you will pay more than this'

She wished she couldn't remember the rest.

Friday cam with her travelling all over London for the meetings she had rescheduled, although her mind wasn't focused on them. The thing that concerned her most was now that someone knew what she suffered, it seemed to impact her more. Before she would have been perfectly fine for work, but now she found herself continually fighting to keep her emotions in check. She felt as if she had reverted back to when it had all begun. As her final meeting finished she dismissed her car, opting for a cab, she convinced the driver to drive her past all the famous spots, just to distract her. She found as they drove over the Vauxhall Bridge needed to see Bond. Paying the extortionate fee, she entered the building though a private entrance by the side. She expected she knew where he would be and headed to the gunnery.

She just felt she needed to see him, before he left. She stood watching him fire a perfect round, both impressed by his skill and amused by his obvious pride in it. He turned and looked at her, as if he had known she was there, he moved towards the door and so did she, pulling him to where the cameras weren't looking, she had been careful on her entrance to make sure she avoided as many as possibly, those which had caught her would only of caught a glimpse.

Luckily both Friday and the weekend passed without incident, Greg had left her be for most of it, rowing at her when things didn't happen like he had planned, but, for the most part, keeping his hands from her. M had received the call from Tanner when Bond had departed, and she felt a bitter kick in her gutt, Bond hadn't even tried to contact her.

She returned on Monday feeling apprehensive, she wasn't sure exactly what her feelings were towards bond but she was sure they weren't sensible. Moneypenny entered and handed over a load of paperwork with an apologetic smile. Half way through the pile of papers she found a manila envelope nested in the middle, immediately she was on high alert and reached for her phone to call Q and have him check it with one of his gadgets, she then saw the handwriting. Her hands shook as she turned the envelope, feeling the heaviness in the bottom, and opened the letter. She slid the paper out and unfolded it slowly.

Leaving now I know what you are going through is the hardest things I have ever done. I want you to remember you are a strong and brilliant and he is nothing on you. I cannot tell you that enough, believe me when i tell you it is HIM who is wrong. I know I have reacted badly, but I want you to be safe, I don't want you to think your only option is to say with him. I don't want you to be scared of coming to me either. The only reason he is still alive is because of the promise I hold to you, I would kill him over and over again for what he does to you. I understand he is your husband but you deserve so much more. I want you to use my flat, you know where it is and there is a key is in the envelope, the codes for the alarm are on the back of this. Do Not Hesitate. If you just want to talk, you have the secure lines to contact me. Please be safe, if he hurts you, tell someone, or get out. I will be thinking of you constantly.

Yours, always. J.E.B

M wiped her face, and read the letter through again. He had calmed all her concerns in one letter, he had cared about leaving, and he had even pre-arranged protection for her if she needed it. She felt a slight lightness in her chest, see was finally convinced that the concern he had shown was genuine.

Not the best chapter i agree, rather intense i'm afraid... I hope you liked it dispite that :)