Previously On: Lily has three dorm mates: Evie, Kat, and Marley. Marley is best mates with Emmeline and Honor. Evie is a free spirit who has a hobby of altering spells and Kat turns Lily away when she needs a place to stay. Lily finds a life living in a flat above Magical Menagerie and working as a barmaid at The Leaky Cauldron. Lily takes a fancy to a miniature turtle named Harvey and makes friends with an Auror who she calls Baker.
Chapter Four
The Men of Diagon Alley
Lily received her first owl of the summer on the first day of August. She would have been more excited except the obnoxious bird proceeded to peck at the window until Lily was forced out of her slumber.
Her days and nights were completely switched after working at the bar for over a month. Even during her time off she preferred to keep her normal schedule usually wrangling Baker into staying up all night with her.
The letter and attached package were from her dorm mate, Evie.
She apologized for getting Lily in trouble with Petunia for sending an owl but assured Lily it was worth the irritation.
The eccentric blonde was having a brilliant time in New Zealand. She told Lily how much she missed them and expressed jealousy at all the fun Kat and Lily probably had when Lily was staying with Kat earlier in the summer.
Evie explained how difficult it was getting letters all the way back to London, but she had only just remembered that Kat's birthday was in August and she didn't want Kat to think she'd forgotten about her. She admitted spending a ridiculous amount of gold to get the letter and package to Lily.
She had included enough gold to buy Kat a specified gift and also a special token of her appreciation for Lily 'doing all the work.'
An honest grin bloomed across her face at Evie's 'p.s. Pretend we had this planned all along when you give it to her!"
Pulling out a thin tube containing a small measure of potion she read "For beautiful witches who desire full shiny hair" that was labeled down the side along with a fancy symbol of the company.
She giggled at Evie's obsession with hair. The girl had more potions and charms for her hair then most people did for their entire body. Lily recognized the brand as one of the nicer ones her dorm mate always stocked up on and without a second thought she uncorked the tube taking it like she did a shot of firewhiskey.
Retrieving small bag full of coins, Lily meant to put it with the rest of the gold she earned when a small piece of parchment fluttered to the wooden floor.
"I know you'll love the beauty potion. It's one of my favorites! Thanks again, Lovely. You're the best mate a girl could ask for- don't tell Kat I said that. Also I experimented with the potion a bit so it should last twice as long as the three weeks it's designed for! Cheers."
"Damn!" Lily immediately exclaimed dropping the slip of paper and fingering her long hair.
Somehow Evie's slightly 'altered' spells, charms, and-apparently- potions never turned out exactly the way she intended. Poor Marley's hair had still been tipped pink at the end of the semester.
Rushing down into the pet store Lily bypassed Mr. Price and hurried to the horizontal mirror that hung on the wall behind the counter.
Her hair was still as thick as ever and it shinned nicely which were the intended side effects of the potion. Unfortunately, it was also a few inches longer because all of Lily's twisting and looping curls now hung in full straight curtains. The color was also almost a full shade darker too.
Quickly, she waved her wand sounding off a curling charm Evie and Kat used for special occasions.
Lily's darker auburn hair crunched feebly into a slight wave before relaxing back into straightness.
The girl in the mirror frowned back at her.
She loved her curly hair. It was the one thing Lily had inherited from her mother.
"Problem, Ms. Evans?" Mr. Price approached Lily with a dark owl perched on his shoulder.
Lily reached out to run her fingers across the gentle owl's feathers with a scowl still on her face.
It was strange for her to be letting someone know that she was upset. This was the kind of thing that she would normally brush off with a smile, but right now she didn't care about pretending to feel a certain way. Right now she felt a bit lost. "My hair…. I don't look like me."
"I don't think it makes you less attractive, if that's what you are worried about." The older man said encouragingly with the barest hint of teasing smile.
"It's not that." She tried to decide exactly what was upsetting her. Absently she felt a comforting pull towards Harvey's aquarium and her eyes sought her little friend. "It's just that I haven't felt like 'me' all summer and to be honest it has kind of been fantastic. I'm not wedged into anyone's ideas anymore. I'm free."
Harvey raised his face to nuzzle her finger before scurrying to the edge of his pond and diving in. "I guess I'm scared I'm going to be so different that people won't know how to love me anymore. The one thing that was the same about me is gone."
Lily knew it wasn't about her hair at all. Her hair would go back to normal after a month or so, but she didn't know if she could go back to being who she was.
She certainly didn't want to.
"I think you are underestimating the people of your life, Ms. Evans." He walked over to stand in front Harvey's cage with her. "Would you love them any differently if they changed?"
Before she could answer she had to consider all the ways they could change.
She began to say that she would if they became Death Eaters, but stopped. She still loved Severus.
Would she love Petunia more if she treated her better? It would definitely improve their relationship, but she wouldn't love her sister more. Sirius had changed plenty since they first began dating but she still loved him the same.
"Love really doesn't work like that." She spoke as she realized it. "If you ever really love someone then it will always be there. You can hide it or burry it but it doesn't go away. How much you like them or appreciate them can change, but love stays the same."
He nodded and pushed his sliding spectacles back up his nose as they thoughtfully watched Harvey make lazy waves in his pond. She searched for the unease she had felt moments before and could only manage to feel utterly calm.
It seemed so simple. Things were like that for her in Diagon Alley. She could just slip into this identity and imagine a separate life.
It was becoming harder and harder to imagine ever returning.
"Thank you, Mr. Price." She finally said forcing her eyes away from Harvey's calming effect.
He gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder before heading to the front of the store to put the owl back with the others and Lily headed up to her flat to bathe.
She wasn't working tonight but she'd promised to meet Baker at The Leaky Cauldron. A bitter cloud had penetrated through her earlier content due to the brief seconds of unfamiliarity that caught her when she was presented with her own reflection.
It was unnerving to not recognize your own face at a glance.
"I don't know why I keep giving you nights off when you spend them here." Tom grumbled when she marched around the bar. His gentle irises glared pointedly at the shot she poured and simultaneously downed. "You're going to pay for that."
She scowled back at him before throwing back a second shot.
Well at least he hadn't mentioned her hair. Maybe it wasn't even noticeable.
"Hello beautif-… Whiskey?" Baker's face went from seductive to confused quicker than a broom could get off the ground.
She turned her glower from moderately irritated to hexing pissed at Baker. He was relaxed into his usual bar stool and studying her with intensity.
Stubbornly she just glared harder fighting off the desire to squirm under his gaze.
She wasn't interested in Baker in a romantic way. He was clever and wicked fun. He was also twenty-four and an Auror. So even if she didn't want to shag him, he was still a devilishly good-looking older Auror who she didn't want thinking she was unattractive.
He had already seen far too many of her unappealing qualities as it was- more than anyone else had ever been privy too before.
"I know." She huffed. "I don't look like myself."
"It's not that." He was looking at her oddly again. "You look sexy."
There was no stopping the blush this time. "Excuse me?"
"I mean you're beautiful- gorgeous even- normally." Giving her a rogue smile he continued. "Totally not my type though."
Lily couldn't believe he'd just said that! And apparently it read all over her face because he continued quickly.
"The goody-goody, demure smiles, sunshine and puppies, curls and twirls, bright eyes and pleasantries, best mate type of girl look. You know, a nice girl look?" Baker seemed to think this explanation would clear everything up for her. "It's not a bad thing I suppose. It's just never really done it for me."
"And my hair somehow counter acts all those things?" She hoped he'd been drinking or else he really was an idiot.
"It helps." He seemed a bit mesmerized as he took a lock in his fingers. "It's dead sexy. Makes your eyes look mysterious and daring. Now if we could do something about your clothes."
"Why?" She scoffed. Boys were insane. She had always suspected, but Baker made it official. "So I can take a ride on your broom?"
Her goal of insulting him was right on the mark as he looked appropriately put out. "Well why not? I'm rather fetching!"
Her laughter was loud and unashamed thinking him more adorable than 'fetching' when he pouted.
"Fetching indeed." Lily pretended to think it over for a moment. "Totally not my type though."
"Whiskey, I doubt you have a type."
Her glare returned. "I don't need a type, Baker. My boyfriend is the only 'type' I have."
This declaration caused an in depth discussion about Baker not believing she actually had a boyfriend. He pointed out that they had spent a good deal of time together and never before had Lily mention this supposed boyfriend.
He thought she was making him up to prove a point.
"Don't you two have anything else to do but disrupt my establishment with your squabbling?" Tom's ever present glower didn't waver as he scolded the two youngest occupants of the pub. He'd already kicked Lily out from behind the bar ranting about professionalism.
"Actually we do!" Baker told him proudly dragging Lily out into the alley behind him.
"We do?"
"Oh yeah, didn't I mention we were going to meet up with an old mate of mine?" Tapping the suitable bricks he led her into the bustle of the alley.
"What!" Lily dragged her feet unsuccessfully. "I'm not properly dressed!"
She had on her normal work attire which consisted of modest shorts and a plain white t-shirt.
"Oh." He finally stopped to check over her clothes. "You're right. The hair looks great, but your clothes scream 'Nice Girl!'."
"I am a nice girl!" She stomped her foot.
She was sure that he would laugh at her, but he didn't. Instead he grabbed her by the arms and brought her face-to-face with him. "No you're not. You think that's what everyone wants you to be, but you, my friend, are feisty. I still don't understand why you put so much effort into trying to extinguish your flame."
She shook him off easily and set off down the street with a solid huff. "You have no idea what you're talking about."
People liked the way she looked. No, she didn't have much of a personal style and she tended to wear what others thought looked good on her, but she didn't put much thought into clothes anyways. She spent the majority of the year covered by robes or hidden in a school uniform and most her wardrobe were things her mother had bought before she'd died.
Baker, never to be put off by her irritability, looped her arm through his and yanked playfully at her hair until she looked at him.
"I guess my reputation can suffer this one time." His stupid insufferable grin spread out on his face. "You owe me though."
She boxed him in the ear.
He whined about that all the way to a purple building Lily had never noticed before. It was far off her beaten path.
Baker explained it was a new pub that catered to a younger crowd than The Leaky Cauldron.
"The Broom Closet?" Lily asked incredulously.
"It's dead catchy."
It was true the crowd was much closer to Lily's age than at her pub. Everyone looked to be in their twenties and Lily even spotted a few familiar faces from years past at Hogwarts. Baker seemed familiar with most of them.
She wondered why he didn't hang out here instead of The Cauldron as he spoke pleasantly with a tired redheaded couple who were having a night away from their several children.
"Harland, mate!" A table by the front window full of youthful faces bellowed in their direction. "Over here!"
Finally drawn away from his conversation by the raucous the group was causing, Baker bounded over to them.
"Abbott!" Her friend embraced the shorter man a good natured grin on his face. "You didn't tell me this was a bloody reunion."
The group exchanged embraces and greetings while Lily stood a few feet away unsure of what to do. She was incredibly intimidated by the older group.
"We didn't mean to ambush you." One of girls smiled widely at Baker. Lily unconsciously noted her quirky patched blouse and bright pink hair accessory as Baker's earlier observations rang through her mind. "When Abbott told us you were having drinks we couldn't resist joining in. Some of us haven't seen you since Hogwarts!"
"Suppose he was too busy playing hero." A black haired witch said with a snarky attitude and sarcastic smile. With that smile and her deep black hair she could have passed for James' sister. Immediately an itch eased through Lily's palm at the James related thought.
As a distraction Lily quickly took inventory of the witch's silver studded shirt and fitted pants. Her outfit created an obvious mixture of attraction and intimidation.
Baker ignored the witch and instead pulled Lily over to the group as she scratched desperately at her palm. "Everyone this is Whiskey."
The three boys of the group were quick to welcome her introducing themselves as Abbott, Lewis, and Alfie.
She would never be able to remember their names, but she focused on her warm smile. The two girls weren't unfriendly, but seemed confused by Lily's presence. The black haired witch with the put together clothes was Delilah and Lily easily assumed Ollie, the brightly accessorized girl, was the friendlier of the two.
"Harland, I didn't know you were seeing anyone." Abbott was the first to voice the curiosity they all felt.
Like a sharp slap, realization hit Lily. "Harland! Your name is Harland!"
Her outburst caused the entire table to look equally shocked and concerned for her mental health.
She had honestly forgotten that Baker wasn't his actual name.
Baker –or Harland- roared with laughter at her and his friends' faces. Lily's cheeks flushed scarlet with embarrassment as she realized what a nutter she looked like.
"Should we be concerned that he's taken to picking up young women who seem to be lacking a firm grasp on reality?" Delilah addressed her question to Abbott who merely shrugged continuing to stare at Lily.
"Great first impression, Whiskey." Baker winked at her before explaining to his friends about their nicknames.
At some point he pulled her into his lap because they were lacking an extra chair, and it was only natural. With Baker it was impossible not to be comfortable with his level of intimacy. He liked to touch and at first Lily had been nervous about holding hands or sitting in his lap, but she'd soon realized it was innocent. Now she would be less comfortable is he wasn't touching her.
The Auror spent months at a time being forced into a hard unfeeling skeleton and it made sense that intimacy would be something he overindulged in.
"How's that disaster of a sister, Harland?" Delilah smirked knowingly bringing up another topic.
The group of old friends had already rolled through jobs, spouses, lack of spouses, and death. Lily supposed family was the next line of questioning.
Lily knew Baker and his sister had a very normal sibling relationship. They loved each other. They just didn't like each other all the time.
"Dating every bloke that looks her way and horrifying mum and dad with her lack of ambition." Baker replied passing out their fourth or fifth round of butterbeer.
The subject of Baker's little sister seemed to be a popular one as the others joined in telling stories about the girl who apparently looked a good bit like her brother.
"She's not still hung up on that one bloke?" Alfie's eyes were teasing. "I can't recall the bugger's name, but I remember she about had kittens whenever he'd get a new girlfriend."
They all laughed at this. Apparently, the little sister was involved in some sort of great unrequited love tragedy.
"She reminds me of that Hufflepuff that followed Harland around all of sixth year." Delilah retained her cool aloofness despite the alcohol that pushed through her system. "Some witches just can't take a hint."
And just like that they launched into a full blown reminiscing session covering everything one could possibly note about Hogwarts.
Like a rock, anxiety settled into Lily's stomach.
In Diagon Alley, Hogwarts didn't exist. She lasted ten minutes being forced to recall her own times at school before she excused herself to the loo.
It was too big a task to try and imagine the life that waited in September. She wanted to stay exactly where she was with Baker and never have to be Lovely Lily again.
Taking an embarrassingly long time in the bathroom meant the conversation had definitely moved past Hogwarts and she'd never been happier to join in a discussion on dragons in her life.
Soon butterbeer turned to firewhiskey and they all indulged in intoxication. Lily was proud that her tolerance was one of the best of the group. When Ollie got sick, Delilah and Alfie took her home and soon Abbott and Lewis were wishing them farewell as well leaving Lily and Baker to have a few more rounds alone.
"Alright, Harland." She pulled him out of his chair. "Time to go home."
While Lily had kept her consumption sparse and sobered drastically at the Hogwarts talk, Baker had pushed through and was currently stumbling drunk. With her support they made it out of The Broom Closet.
"Don't call me that." He slurred at her his head lolling onto her shoulder.
She laughed as she guided him to her flat. He was in no condition to travel so he would have to stay with her. It wouldn't be the first time.
"You're just mad because I found out your name and you don't know mine." She led him up the narrow stairway to the second floor of Magical Menagerie.
"That's true." He admitted stumbling into the wall as she opened the door. He only took three more missteps before finding the bed and falling onto it face first. She giggled at his back as he began to snore muffled by her quilt.
Lily took several of her own missteps as she ungracefully filled a glass from the tap.
This was probably the drunkest she'd ever been and it still wasn't very. She didn't like that. She wanted to get belligerently drunk and be free of herself just like everyone else did.
"Think about it tomorrow." She mumbled letting her eyes close groggily even though she was standing up.
Sleep was calling to her strongly so she pushed her shorts down her curvy hips and tried to ease herself into the space allowed by Baker's sprawled form. It didn't matter how uncomfortable the position was however because she passed out before she even thought about it.
"Whiskey." A voice whispered in her ear. She was still exhausted so it had to be early afternoon which to Lily was about three a.m. "Whiskey."
She refused to open her eyes to Baker's soft voice. She didn't even want to speak for fear that it would scare sleep away all together.
She settled for scrunching her face up- eyes tightly closed.
He chuckled and Lily felt a tickling sensation on her bare thigh. She ignored it and shook her head irritably.
"Whiskey." He repeated and awareness began to seep over her. With it came the realization that his hard warm body was pressed into her back. "I think I want to have sex with you."
"What!" She had no problem speaking or opening her eyes as she flew off the mattress.
He didn't seem put-out by her reaction. "You just look really hot and I don't really fancy you, but you're ridiculously shaggable."
Only Baker could make her feel sexy and offend her in the same sentence. "You horrid toerag! I told you I had a boyfriend."
He groaned. "Not this again."
"Oh bugger off!" There was no use arguing for Sirius because Baker would never believe her. "It'd be like shagging my brother!"
He seemed to consider this declaration for a moment before grinning again. "Won't know until we have a go."
She went for physical violence this time, but he caught her swinging arm and pulled her onto the mattress under him.
Lily's eyes were wide as she stared at him. She had forgotten how nice his eyes were. The weight his body pressed into her brought on wonderful heat and she could feel every inch of hard muscle.
"One kiss." She allowed but quickly added. "Just to prove a point."
His face eased forward without hesitation and she accepted with a mix of curiosity and desire for the warmth of companionship.
The kiss was so warm and she found herself trying to get as close as possible to his soft hot skin. It was teasing- a prelude for what could come.
It was beyond dangerous for boys to be as fit as Baker was. She couldn't control her hands as they snuck up his shirt to caress the tight muscles.
"Oh..mmm." He moaned into her mouth. It made her wet to hear the effect she could have on someone like him.
They stopped after a moment, neither smiling with teasing merriment for once. "Whiskey, I'm positive that is not what snogging my sister would be like."
"Let's hope not." She answered cheekily. "Now we know."
His was out of the bed so fast she almost didn't catch his blur.
He ripped his shirt over his head and Lily was so busy drooling over his magnificent abdomen that she missed him shoving his pants, under things included, off his hips.
She was stunned for a moment taking in the most spectacular male body she'd ever seen in person before she snapped out of it. "Bloody fuck, Baker! I didn't mean let's have a go! I meant the experiment is over."
He pouted but made no move to cover himself and Lily almost choked realizing his was that large only semi-hard.
Her hand shot to cover her eyes. If she didn't then she might actually agree.
Everything about him was warm and comfortable and she couldn't even begin to imagine the things he could make her feel. Sirius always made fun of how randy she was with him so didn't want to think of how uninhibited she'd be with Baker and all his experience.
She felt the mattress slouch and peaked through her fingers to make sure he was dressed again. She supposed pants were better than nothing.
"So you really do have a boyfriend then?" He settled down in the spot next to her on the bed.
"Of course, I've been trying to tell you!"
He nodded solemnly. "I suppose it has to be true. There's no other way you would turn me down."
Grabbing her pillow she smacked him in the face. The moment had passed and Lily felt like it was a rite of passage to real friendship.
It didn't take long for them to fall back asleep despite the sunlit room and they were both content to snuggle into one another appreciating the warmth the other gave off.
Much later in the day pecking at the window woke Lily up from her deep slumber.
It was ironic that she hadn't received an owl for the entire summer and now she'd gotten two in a row. Wiggling away from Baker who could sleep through a quidditch match, she let the little owl in.
Ms. Evans,
I'm sorry to bother you as I know how much you appreciate your sleep, but I'm facing some unfortunate health issues at the moment. My brother has dragged me off to St. Mungos (quite unnecessary), but the healers have decided to keep me until my condition improves. If it would not inconvenience you too much I would appreciate your assistance in feeding the animals in the afternoon and before you leave for work. You will, of course, be compensated for your time. I can't say how thankful I am that such a charming young woman wandered into my shop that day. My brother has assured me he has already begun a search for a temporary replacement.
Thank you,
Mr. Price
Lily desperately wanted to go to St. Mungos and make sure Mr. Price was really alright, but she couldn't help thinking it wasn't her place. She liked Mr. Price. He had done a lot for her with the flat and some solid advice as well, but she wasn't his daughter or friend. She was his tenant and semi employee.
"Hey, Whiskey." Baker called to her from the bed. She hadn't realized he was awake. "You've got a half hour to get to work."
"Damn!"
She was only five minutes late which was the latest she'd ever been, but it didn't stop Tom from scolding her grouchily.
The rest of her night was dreadful. She missed drink orders and spilt butterbeer. Thank goodness she was only serving drunk old men or she might have gotten canned.
She couldn't help but to worry about Mr. Price. Baker didn't come in and she found herself becoming lonely without his commentary.
It was raining when she left work and her straight hair lay flat on her head unattractively. She missed her curls that seemed to soak up the rain in their curves. Now she just looked like a wet dog, she realized glancing in the mirror when she entered the shop.
She made her feeding rounds as quickly as possible, but when she got to Harvey he looked rather peakish. His normally shining shell was muted.
She held out her palm (the one that didn't itch) and he crawled on rather sluggishly.
"The weather getting you down?" She cooed to her little friend. "I know what will make it better."
Carrying Harvey along she went to the small closet in the back where Mr. Price kept remedies and potions for the shop. She picked up a pepper –up and squeezed out a dot directly onto his shell.
"It'll make you sleep for a while and when you wake up you'll be good as new!" She told him.
She decided to watch him and make sure the potion did its job so she brought his aquarium to Mr. Price's desk before placing the turtle back inside. Sitting in the cushioned chair she found her own eyes closing and soon they were both unconscious.
Alarmed and disoriented Lily was awoken by the heavy jingle of bells signaling a customer and with horror she realized she'd left the door unlocked.
A young girl and her mother brought a purple kitten to the front and paid the appropriate amount of gold. Lily imitated Mr. Price's actions as she sold the family their new pet.
Driven by guilt over her oversight with the door she served seven more customers before she could close the shop.
She found that the work wasn't that difficult and it was the least she could do for Mr. Price after he rented her the flat for practically free. Plus he'd pay her for her assistance and the extra gold encouraged her further.
She decided to owl him that she would take a partial shift in the afternoon until his brother found a replacement.
Lily's already hectic life became a blur of the bar and the menagerie.
She got three hours of sleep every day and it was starting to affect her. She tried to hand a child a snake that wanted goldfish and she'd served a man a steep glass of firewhiskey even though he'd asked for water. Imagine their surprise.
Ten days passed and Lily was a zombie. At the end of her shift at the bar Tom walked in to take over only to find his barmaid sleeping where she stood.
He should have sacked her, but he just couldn't. She worked hard and all the men loved her. Not only because she was the nice to look at, but because she was kind to them as well. Plus they enjoyed it when she got a bit feisty with them. They liked it a little too much in Tom's opinion.
Sending off a quick owl, Tom waited until Harland arrived.
"What's going on?" The young man looked alert as his eyes assessed any dangers.
Tom simply pointed to Lily's position leaned against the wall behind the bar and very much asleep. "I figured I'd let you deal with it."
"You're not going to get rid of her are you? Because it's not her fault. She's just being stupid trying to do too much at once. She really needs this job." Harland's words rushed out.
"I'm not sacking her." Tom grumbled seemingly uncomfortable with the allowance himself. It wasn't like him to show compassion. "I just want you to help her home. I don't think she'd make it alone."
The Auror was looking at him in a knowing way that Tom didn't appreciate. "Tell her if it happens again she's done."
Tom could tell Harland didn't believe him. Tom really didn't believe it himself.
Scooping her lean frame into his arms, Harland carried her out. She didn't even stir.
In fact she didn't move for the following five hours and the only reason she woke up then was because a man was standing over her bed.
In the same moment she began screaming, she grasp for her wand. Coming up empty she shot out of the bed and scampered as far away from the stranger as possible in her single room.
He reminded her of a buzzard with his hooked nose and hunched back. He also looked positively evil.
"I need yer help." His voice had a certain squawking quality that didn't help the buzzard resemblance. She had to distinguish that 'yer' was supposed to be 'you.'
"Excuse me?" Her eyes searched the room for her wand desperately. "My husband is an Auror and he'll be home any minute. If you're here to rob me then you'd just better continue on because there isn't anything worth your trouble."
The intruder's beady eyes glared at her. Then again, Lily suspected his face might look like that naturally. "I'm Earnest Eeylops. I was just hired to run the Menagerie and I need yer help."
This should have made her feel better, but Earnest was still creepy and demanding her to do something so she couldn't say it improved her opinion of him. "Fine, but get out. You can't just come into my flat whenever you please!"
She'd never been so harsh to a stranger before. It felt unbelievable to return his rudeness with her own.
"Yer should put some pants on or the customers will know Mr. Price is hiring tarts."
Horrified, she realized that she was standing in the corner in her knickers and Leaky Cauldron shirt. She also noted he called her a tart.
"Apologize and then get out or you can help yourself." She demanded with a hard edge that she wielded into the buzzard man.
An unpleasant noise rumbled in Earnest's throat. It was as good as she was going to get.
After helping Earnest for an hour she flat refused to be in his presence any longer. He was horrid. He insulted her blood, her looks, her hair, her intelligence, and even her smell at one point. She couldn't help it that she'd been working so hard that she hadn't had the time to take the best care of herself!
Stomping all the way back up to her flat she took one last look at the new employee as he gawked near the owls. He seemed nearly obsessive about the birds while he was only partially interested in the other animals.
She put several locking charms on her door after she'd slammed it shut.
Defiantly, she ripped off her pants and shirt too for good measure before crawling back into bed and planning to stay there for the entire weekend. It was the first time off she'd had since she'd gone for drinks with Baker's friends.
She briefly remembered Baker carrying her home and smiled pleasantly at thought. She never could have imagined being friends with someone like Baker before this summer, but he had easily had become the best one she ever had.
It was hard to get accustomed to the slight role reversal of the friendship. Usually she took on the role of provider or giver, but Baker never asked for anything and usually demanded she take far more than he gave.
She was free of responsibilities until Monday. With that pleasant thought she was whisked away into a peaceful slumber for nearly two days.
"You smell like dung." The mattress sagged and she recognized that Baker was crawling into bed with her.
She didn't respond. Her head was cloudy and ached from sleeping for too long.
"When was the last time you bathed?" Apparently he wasn't going away.
She was silent clamping her eyelids together until they stung. Just because he was resolute to nag her didn't mean she had to respond.
She sighed contently when she felt him leave the mattress, happy to have won the battle. Unfortunately he'd only taken a new tactic and she was suddenly yanked up and thrown over his broad shoulder.
Disoriented from the sudden change in equilibrium, she couldn't catch her bearings when he dropped her in the rusting claw foot tub. Her weak legs gave out and her bum hit the tub with a clang. He showed no mercy turning the shower on full blast spraying angry torrents of liquid at her.
Shocked she stared at him, spitting out water that flooded her open mouth.
His face was filled with mirth as laughter overtook him and even though she was beyond pissed, she couldn't blame him. She was sure she looked ridiculous.
"If I had my wand I would curse your bloody dick off!" She fumed.
He wasn't frightened by her raging threat. "You smell terrible. You hair looks like a house elf's and you've been sleeping for an unhealthy amount of time. You'll get bedsores."
He made some very valid points, but she didn't have to admit it.
Pushing herself up into the blunt of the spray she realized that once again she was only in her knickers and bra.
It didn't even bother as she grabbed a bottle of shampoo. This summer wasn't doing anything to improve her modesty.
"Plus we have a party to go to." He informed as his eyes remained rooted in place and he made no move to close the shower curtain.
His stupid smug face made her itch to retaliate. However, she didn't have her wand and physical violence was useless with his much superior reflexes and strength.
"The smirk" appeared as a wicked idea floated through her mind. If he wanted a show then she'd give his impatient arse one.
Finishing rinsing the remaining suds out of her hair she grabbed for the soap. Teasingly she took pains to lather every inch of her skin slowly. She didn't need to look at him to know that she had his full attention as she freed the clasp of her saturated bra.
Lily was well aware of the power of her breasts. She had the kind of chest that made boys struggle to meet her eyes during conversation and her dorm mates groan enviously.
The water had barely run over the previously hidden skin and Baker was on her.
"Fucking Merlin." He mumbled nonsensically as he tried to kiss her, but she ducked away with a heavy laugh.
He grabbed for her again his eyes only on her chest and she swatted him away with a big smile. "Maybe next time you'll think twice about disturbing someone's peace."
He cursed finally looking away from her exposed chest with an unashamed pout. "Not fair. You can't just show a bloke the most beautiful thing he's ever seen and tell him touching isn't allowed."
She laughed evilly yanking the curtain closed around her. "Sure I can when the bloke's a bloody tosser."
The rest of her shower passed peacefully and she had to admit she felt loads better. Baker was rummaging through her trunk when she stepped out in a towel.
"What are you doing?"
He glanced up finally noticing her reappearance without a hint of the pout that he'd previously been sporting. "Trying to find you something to wear to this party that doesn't make you look like a stuck up Hogwarts' Head Girl. You should wear something without flowers or in pastel which pretty much discounts your entire wardrobe. These aren't 'you'. You always complain about the way people see you and yet you continue to put on a façade that forces them to do so."
She resisted the urge to snap at him. Baker never let her get away with anything. If she refuted the truth of her statement, he'd call her on it.
Instead she quickly pulled on her under things while he was distracted rummaging through her trunk.
"Everyone else always tells me how nice I look." She pointed out finally keeping her towel on top of her knickers.
"Everyone else apparently doesn't see you the way I do." He responded holding up a black tank top that she wore as a camisole. "What do you want to wear?"
He was right.
Pastels and flowers really weren't her style. Her mother had always picked out her clothes when she was younger and Lily had never really taken the time to consider whether she liked them or not. People told her she looked nice so why should she change it?
"I don't want to dress like a slag if that's what you're saying." Lily was afraid to know what his ideal outfit for her would be.
She supposed that her actual style fell somewhere in the middle of her mother's idea for her and Baker's.
"Shame. You'd be a hot slag." Smiling charmingly he threw the black tank top at Lily. "You can transfigure it a bit and wear a jacket."
The silky fabric was smooth under her fingers and she twisted the shirt thoughtfully. Did physical appearance really matter that much?
Lily could admit that clothes did say something about the person wearing them. So what did her clothes say about her?
She thickened the straps and let out the seam at the bottom so it fell to the pockets of her jeans. She'd give it a try, but she couldn't imagine wearing a black shirt would really alter anything.
Delicate fingers parted her thick hair to the side, but Baker stopped her from pulling it up.
"It won't be this way for much longer. Let me enjoy." He said with a wistful smile. She worried about his love affair with her new hair.
He apparated them to a lawn where a party was already in full swing. They landed at the edge of the yard- a good distance from the actual house.
"Home sweet home." He sighed sarcastically. "My parents are in Paris for the weekend and my sister is throwing a bash. I figured it was time for the two of you to meet."
His strong hand entwined with hers as they approached.
It was a nice house and she thought the painted white brick made the two story house seem more majestic. It was very muggle, but he had told her that his Dad was non magical so it made sense.
Swift shots of alarm fired off as she passed face after familiar face. In fact it seemed that most of the attendees were Hogwarts students.
Uneasy tension settled in her gut as she spotted Connor Vance, a Hufflepuff that Evie had a crush on, and Christos Savales, Gryffindor Prefect and Chaser, from the year below her.
Baker's comforting presence was no longer leading her into a friendly gathering, but instead a handcuff dragging her into a life she'd rather forget. With glazed looks her peers' eyes passed over her dark hair and silk shirt without recognition. It would only be a matter of time before someone took a closer look.
Finally Lily spotted Honor Simmons, Marley's sidekick, heading straight for them. "Harland, you're late."
The dirty blonde hair, the green eyes, not to mention- the nearly identical cheek bones were all rather obvious clues that Harland was the older brother of fellow sixth year Honor Simmons.
"I had to force Whiskey into the shower." Baker gave her a lewd grin completely unaware of the revelation about to take place.
"Lily?" At the mention of her brother's companion, Honor finally took notice of Lily and with a shocked voice she continued. "What happened to your hair?"
Lily squeaked an incredulous laugh, finding it humorous that her hair was what Honor deemed to be most important mystery of the night.
"Lily?" Baker seemed to have forgotten much like herself that Whiskey was actually not her name. "You two know each other?"
"You two know each other?" Honor's priorities had caught up with her. "You're the bar girl he spends all his time with?"
"No flowers!" He exclaimed apparently making a connection as he went through their first meeting. "Somehow Lily fits you."
"Lily Evans?" Marley popped up beside her friend taking in Lily's new hair and also noting she was holding hands with Honor's attractive older brother with shocked eyes.
"Evans?" Harland rolled the name off his lips, waiting for the familiar phrase to register some type of recognition.
"You and Sirius are done?" Apparently it was Honor's turn again to throw a question at her.
Going along with the theme Lily wasn't given time to respond as Marley cut in again. "What happened to your hair?"
"You're still at Hogwarts?" Harland's eyes went wide. "You're that Lily Evans?"
"Lily Evans?" Remus Lupin entered the fray looking just as confused as everyone else. "Is Sirius with you?"
"Aren't you supposed to be with your muggle sister?" Honor tried again only to be cut off by Remus.
"What happened to your hair?"
"Where've you been?"
"How do you know Honor's brother?"
Lily didn't even bother listening after that as it was all the same anyways. Where've you been? Where's Sirius? Lily Evans? And apparently most importantly- what happened to your hair?
She waited a full beat of silence once they'd exhausted themselves with questions she wasn't given the chance to answer before she began to speak. Baker came first. He was the most important.
"Yes, my name is Lily Evans, but you aren't allowed to call me that." She grinned at him hoping to bring back his easy smile. "I thought you knew I was still at Hogwarts for another year."
"My hair was a victim of one of Evie's experiments gone wrong." Marley gave her a sympathetic look. "I met Baker- or Harland- at The Leaky Cauldron where I've been working all summer. We're just friends and he knew I had a boyfriend, who-." She turned to Remus. "No, is not with me, but yes as far as I know we are still together."
No one said a word. Their disbelieving stares sliced into her vulnerable conscious. Shamefully her eyes latched onto the material of her altered shirt.
A detached buzz bounced through her body. Staring at the shiny material it was easier to remember why she'd been forced into her current situation.
She didn't owe them an explanation and she certainly didn't owe them the right to judge the decision she'd made.
"Point me towards the firewhiskey." She declared shaking her head in irritation and marched away before anyone could indulge her request. She could find it herself.
She ignored the presence that followed her finding the kitchen quickly. A healthy supply of liquor bottles varying in size and fullness were arranged sporadically of the counter and Lily grabbed the closest bottle of firewhiskey without hesitation.
Pouring two shots she presented the second to her guest without having to check his identity. Remus practically radiated an aura of disapproval.
"What are you doing?" His gentle face was drawn in concern.
Lily had often wondered why Remus didn't have girlfriends. He was all the things girls looked for with his wavy brown hair and tender demeanor, but it wasn't hard to imagine wanting to stay away from the bloke who could throw his guilt onto others like a super power at the moment.
After she took her shot, she chased it with the one Remus had placed unwanted on the counter. "I'm having a drink."
"Are you stepping out on Sirius?" His voice held an edge of anger and was soaked in suspicion.
The longer he looked at her, the angrier she felt. Again her eyes sought her black camisole and again she found it easier to push away the feelings of a girl who no longer existed.
"Baker's my friend. We don't have feelings for each other." It was the truth. When they were both fully clothed their feelings were purely platonic. She poured herself another shot and took it. "It's not as if Sirius has been mooning over me all summer. I haven't heard from him once."
"Everyone thought you were locked away at your sisters for the summer. Kat thinks you're mad at her because you haven't responded to her muggle post."
She turned her face away so he couldn't see her flushed cheeks and focused on the bottle of cheap firewhiskey. She preferred the kind they kept at The Leaky Cauldron. She took another shot anyways. It finally did the trick numbing the most outer layer of her mind slightly.
"Since when do you talk to Kat outside of school?" She chanced a peek at him with careful intentions of avoiding his statement.
It was his turn to blush. "We've always been friends."
Sure, they had always been friends, but there was a concrete line that separated them.
As the same year they had classes and ate meals together, but it was always the three muggleborns in one distinct group, Marley, Simmons, and Vance in another, and then of course the Marauders.
In fifth year when Lily had started dating Sirius, she was included more with the Marauders, but the lines were never erased. As far as Lily knew Kat and Remus had never even had a private conversation outside of Hogwarts.
She felt a horrible tickle of irritation.
She didn't even want to know why she felt upset that Kat and Remus were friends. She was sure whatever the reason it would make her an awful person. Instead of thinking about it she took another shot.
"You don't drink." He told her despite her actions proving otherwise.
Gone were the shivers and hacking cough of an inexperienced drinker, replaced by a steady hand and satisfying burn.
When she took the next shot she was very aware she was becoming drunk. "I'm a barmaid. Of course, I drink."
"What happened to you, Lily?" He asked placing a condemning hand on her wrist. She wished she hadn't looked at him because he looked at her with pity and sadness.
With restraint she jerked away from his touch and clamped her lips closed to prevent any cutting words. He had no right to judge her.
When she didn't respond he left her alone.
Well, not alone. She still had the cheap bottle of firewhiskey for company.
She gave the bottle an admiring smile. Yes, she decided, they'd be great mates!
Her attention was drawn out through the sliding glass doors of the kitchen into the backyard and was shocked to see a pool.
She couldn't help but giggle at the thought of wizards swimming in a modern pool. It seemed very muggle. Mental images of white bearded wizards floundering in their magenta robes off the diving board, spilled laughter through her lips.
Taking her friend with her into the backyard, she sank her feet into the artificially warmed liquid after she'd rolled up her jeans. No party guests were out here and the un-recycled air was nice.
She suspected that even though the in-ground pool appeared to be perfectly average; it was actually charmed to accommodate a swimmer's preference. The water cooled around her calves and she was thankful for the relief on her hot skin.
As if her solitude called forth invaders, the kitchen door clicked shut announcing someone's arrival.
James met her eyes across the pool and the dancing reflections of the water dared them to break the silence.
Pathetic
A hostile itch licked at Lily's palm, but she suppressed the urge to soothe it refusing to be the first to break their stare.
His face was a pebble miles under the sea, untouched and smooth, but his eyes offered a glimpse of the hesitant battle the raged beneath the masking surface.
If she hadn't been drinking she would have dismissed all the things she could see about him in the moment, but the fuzziness of her brain made her resolute in her instincts.
He was an unwilling magnet, drawn to engage her and yet a slingshot desperately tried to catapult him back into the safety of the Simmons' home.
Forever they held their ground until finally James relented and edged backwards towards the house. His gaze held her hostage as he continued to retreat as if he feared to turn his back on her for even a moment.
"Are you happy now?" Her bitter words made contact just as his hand grazed the doorknob.
Her question made no impact as if she hadn't spoken at all.
"Are you happy now?" Emotion suddenly captured his detached expression, building in his eyes and spilling into the rest of his face without warning. His pointed reply settled into the space between them.
"It's kind of hard to be happy when I realize how pathetic I am." She matched her stout words with a solid pull from the tall bottle she nursed.
Like a hawk she watched every hint and clue he allowed to determine a reaction. There was only a flash of reluctant apology before he smoothed himself back into indifference.
Cautiously he began to move towards her, but she could see that he battled the decision all the way to his spot beside her.
They were silent as his legs joined hers beneath the glassy surface of the pool. Lily's gaze became transfixed on their wiggling toes within the distorting water.
He helped himself to a drink, picking up her friend (really her best friend at the moment) and took a long swallow.
"You seem different." He said finally.
"Are you going to pity me and tell me how sad you think I am?" The bitterness had evaporated as quickly as the misting water into the hot air and it was replaced by curiosity and nothing else. "Why does everyone think that just because I'm different it's a bad thing?"
"Why are you drinking?" He asked with little interest.
She hated this game of questions responding to questions, but with James it was different. It was like he was trying to tell her something she already knew.
"Because I want to."
"Why are you dressed differently?"
"Because I want to be."
"Then why does it matter what anyone thinks?" He said flippantly. She desperately wanted it to be as easy as he made it sound. "Sirius is worried about you."
"I only realized tonight that I asked everyone not to owl me because I would be staying with my sister." She admitted more freely that she would have without the help of her friend, Mr. Cheap Whiskey. "She moved to Sweden and sold her flat."
"Aren't you going to ask me where he is?" James didn't look upset. He was speaking again like he could see something she couldn't. She really hadn't thought to wonder where her boyfriend was at the party.
"Oh yes, I suppose I should go find him." Her mouth said, but her body didn't obey. It wasn't necessarily that she didn't want to see Sirius. She didn't want to see anybody.
"He went to live with his Uncle for the summer. Apparently the old man is having some realization late in life and he's trying to make up for it by reaching out to Sirius. They're in Ireland."
It was time for another shot.
"Why don't you need me, James?" She meant to say love or like, but it was too late to correct it.
He laughed- not in a cruel way, but as if he really did find her amusing. She was pretty drunk. "What does need have to do with anything?"
"Everyone else lets me love them. They need me." She slurred and tried to use her hands to emphasize her point, but they were heavy and incompliant.
"Love isn't about need, Lily. The true real kind is often about nothing at all. That's why it is so special."
"No one has ever loved me like that." She admitted feeling oddly detached from the realization. "I guess to you, I will always be pathetic."
He grimaced and once again she was treated to a glimpse of remorse. "Have you ever given anyone the chance?"
"I'm trying." She told him forcefully. "I seem different, James, because I am. I've been terrified about coming back to this life. In theory it's lovely to think that I'm finding out who I really am and I'll come back and everyone will instantly love me and I'll know it. But it's not going to happen that way. People don't want to accept my bad qualities. All they see is Lovely Lily."
She drew in a shaky breath before continuing. "Except I can't anymore. I like to drink firewhiskey. I can be petty and jealous. I don't want to dress like a five year old! I'm as randy as a fifteen year old boy most of the time. I like to say things I really mean even if they are harsh. I want to slap my friends in the face for leaving me alone this summer! I want to turn my sister's husband into the fucking walrus he already looks like! I want to tell Severus he's an idiot. I like to curse! Damn! FUCK! Shit!"
And even though she was shouting he looked at her like he did before she had started things with Sirius.
His eyes- his seeing her- had never fully disappeared, but she hadn't realized how different his gaze could be.
She was red faced and out of breath, but she felt light. She had never felt so free in entire life.
"I never thought you were pathetic." His golden flecked irises drilled into her. "I was so angry that night, but not at you. I don't know why, but I just see you. You try so hard and it's so obvious. You're not happy and the only way I could make you see it was to let you know that I saw through it all."
Their faces were close, but the air between them did not spark with romantic expectations.
She felt exposed knowing all he could see about her. It was like standing in front of him starkers without the slightest urge to flinch.
It wasn't the time to question it though. She'd had her fill of revelations due to James Potter.
"Whiskey, are you going to introduce me to the infamous boyfriend?" Baker finally found her. His face had returned to its mischievous shine and whatever misunderstandings that occurred were dismissed for the present.
She stumbled to her feet. She had been intoxicated sitting down but the alcohol seemed to seize every limb as she stood. "He's in Ireland. This is James Potter my-."
She didn't have a good way to explain their relationship. They were never really friendly.
"-fellow charming Gryffindor and also her boyfriend's best mate." James filled in shaking Baker's hand with a pleasant smile. "Honor's older brother, right? Aren't you an Auror?"
"That would be me." He stared at James strangely. "It's a bit odd meeting the son of the people who practically built the Auror program. Your mum and dad are real heroes, mate. What are they up to now?"
Lily didn't know anything about James' parents being Aurors. Her black haired friend took it in stride. "They'd love to hear that. They just focus on bugging me now. It's a bit tough to be mischievous with those two around."
"I'll bet." The two boys laughed. "When do you start the program?"
James looked uncomfortable. "It's not really in my plans at the moment. No offense, but the department has gone in a different direction since my parents left and I'd rather focus on a more hands on approach."
Baker looked like he wanted to question the younger man further, but James cut his eyes swiftly to Lily who was swaying dangerously by the pool.
"Seems a bit dense for a girl who can't swim to be tottering beside a pool while impaired." James teased her while Baker pulled her towards him.
She started to correct him. She could swim, just not well. She had always told Sirius she couldn't so he wouldn't try and make her go skinny dipping.
"Whiskey, it seems you've ended the party early." Baker told her and then directed his attention to James. "I'll get her back to her flat."
With her head buried in Baker's shirt she missed James' response.
She was being led through the house before she knew it and she pretended not to notice the stares. They were either watching her because she was a drunk prefect or because Baker was not her boyfriend, but either way she didn't like it. Why did they think it was their business?
More importantly- why should she care what they thought?
"Lily, wait!"
When she turned with Baker's assistance it was Remus staring back at her. Speaking seemed hard so she stared at him silently waiting for him to state his business.
"Kat's birthday is the thirty-first an-."
"I know when her birthday is!" She cut him off. Her voice was as sharp as a clap. She hadn't even known she could sound so spiteful.
Remus didn't look hurt though. Instead his expression was cautious like he was dealing with a wild animal.
As a strange feeling twisted in her gut she was shocked to feel herself pleased by his response.
Baker had already begun to lead her away, when Remus called after them again. "The party is at James'."
The short trip to the end of the lawn and apparition back to her flat were silent.
Lily had everything in the world to think about and yet no clear thoughts would form. She could only focus on the sweet smell of the deserted alley and then the sound of the creaking door that Baker pushed open to help her inside.
"I liked it." She wiggled out of his hold and declared challengingly.
"What?" He didn't rise to her obviously confrontational statement.
"If I lose it all, I don't care because tonight I didn't do what everyone wanted me to. So if you think I'm an evil tart who is foul mouthed and rude then… I would have to agree with you, but I'm not going to apologize for it. If you don't want to be my friend anymore because I'm still at Hogwarts or for whatever else then I'll miss you, but I liked it."
"I liked it too." He admitted with a chuckle. "It even got me going a little bit."
She giggled drunkenly at his crude leer.
"And as for us being friends, I have to be honest." Baker's face settled into a solemn promise. "You couldn't get rid of me if you tried. I'd be lying if I didn't admit I was shocked my best mate was the same tart that my little sister has been complaining about for the last six years."
Easily he shifted into his normal rogue smile at her giggles.
She wondered how dark wizards ever found him intimidating. Sure, his muscles were defined and his scar was a vulgar reminder of violence, but those ever twinkling eyes and goofy laugh would never be frightening.
Clumsily she flopped back onto the bed. Staring at the ceiling, the room spun around her. She closed her eyes quickly so she could whisper. "It's so much harder to hide here."
Baker ruffled his dirty blonde hair when she looked at him. It had to be a left over habit because the scruff was too short to do anything but flutter under his fingers. She wondered if he had long hair at Hogwarts. She imagined he had impacted the ladies of Hogwarts in a big way- maybe as bad as Sirius.
"You know that's not the real you either, right Whiskey?" His weight pulled at the side of the mattress. He didn't take his usual spot beside her though, choosing to remain seated at the end of the bed. "Bloody good start though."
He was right. Just because she could do what she wanted didn't mean that she always should. She shouldn't have been rude to Remus or gotten so blitz, but she couldn't bring herself to regret those things either.
Maybe, making mistakes was all relative.
Her change in wardrobe wasn't a mistake. But she'd been thinking about it in all the wrong ways. It wasn't about how the clothes she wore made her look to other people. It was about how her clothes made her feel about herself.
A deep yawn stretched her jaw and she rolling onto her side pulling her knees into her chest. The position made her feel tiny and young.
She could almost swear for a moment with her eyes closed that she could hear her father snoring deeply two doors down. That sound, so long ago forgotten, made her feel warmth in the very pit of her chest.
It was the safest feeling in the entire world and even though it was only a memory it pushed her into the best sleep she'd had since her parents had died.
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Author's Note: This chapter took a little longer than normal, but I'd say it's still faster than the majority of other stories. It needed a MAJOR facelift and I'm in the middle of moving states so it wasn't exactly my first priority. Hopefully, next time it will be even quicker!
I'm so thrilled that my story has found people to appreciate it! This chapter definitely had a different vibe than the others, but it fits into the scheme of Lily's life changing.
To reviewer "Ally"- I just want to thank you for your always insightful reviews. You really think about the characters and I LOVE discussing a well rounded character arc! I put a lot of thought and effort into my characters so your feedback makes me giddy
And thanks to all my other reviewers as well! I think I replied to everyone who had questions, but if I missed you- review again!
To answer my first question about your favorite band of the moment- my favorite band of the moment is The Head and the Heart ("Rivers and Roads" is on repeat on my ipod right now). I loved hearing everyone's favorite bands and I even downloaded a few suggestions so thanks!
My second question was the first book that inspired you- mine is Gone with the Wind. I have a serious thing for characters and Scarlet O'Hara is my very favorite one.
This chapter's question-
What's the first movie or television show that ever made you cry?