Luke breaks the silence first.

"Clary?" The tiredness on Luke's face is being taken over by mild incredulity. "What on Earth are you doing here?"

"I might ask you the same thing, Luke," I counter with undisguised venom in my voice. I glare at him for a second, before making my mind up to leave.

"Come on," I snap at Jace, accidentally turning my anger on him.

"Wait." Luke grabs my arm and looks imploringly at me. I violently wrench my arm free from his clutches with disgust. Jace steps quickly in between us as if to say, 'Don't you dare touch her again.' Normally I'd hate Jace being overprotective like this as though I'm some sort of feeble child, but right now, I'm grateful he's here to step in. His presence gives me added strength and resolve.

"I have nothing to say to you. You're deplorable. A coward. A liar."

"A liar like your mother?"

"At least she didn't intentionally abandon me. And I know that all the lies she told me were to protect me, even if that didn't work out stupendously."

"I was trying to protect you, too. I only said what I did to throw Valentine off. If he knew the truth about how I feel, what you and Jocelyn mean to me, I wouldn't be standing here right now. He'd be torturing me for information in a cell somewhere, thinking I had some knowledge about the Mortal Cup's whereabouts."

"You're lying. Just like you lied to my mom and me for years. You were just trying to get the Cup for yourself. Or for Valentine. You've probably been working for him all this time since he knew mom trusted you." My tone is firm, but I'm growing uncertain.

"You've got it all wrong, Clary. Just think about it. None of that makes sense. There's a whole backstory you don't know, that if you'd just let me tell you, you'd understand why it's impossible that I could still a part of the Circle. Valentine exiled me after he found out what I'd become. Attempted to convince me to kill myself, saying death was a better fate than living as an abomination." Luke's eyes are darting around nervously, scanning the area as if he can sense danger close at hand. His voice has a note of sincerity and desperation that causes my determination of not listening to him to falter.

"What you became? What do you mean?" I'm trying to maintain control of the situation, acting like I don't believe him. Jace speaks up for the first time.

"He's a lycanthrope." He glances to the werewolf bar then back to Luke.

"What?! That's impossible. I would have noticed something-" I speak without thinking.

"No. You wouldn't have. You didn't notice the scars or marks on Jocelyn's body. You didn't notice any indications of the unseen world existing. If I'm not mistaken, you've already seen Magnus Bane, so you probably know why by now."

I say nothing, trying to put all of the puzzle pieces together in my mind. He's right. If Magnus' spell caused me to forget, to block out anything and everything to do with their world, it would make sense that I wouldn't realize what was going on with Luke. I recall now how Luke would disappear every month for a few days, and when I asked mom where he went or if I could go to the bookstore, she'd say with a tone of finality that made me drop the subject, 'you know he's meeting with his distributer.' It made sense at the time, but now I'm wondering if it's normal for retailers to meet with their distributers for a few days at time every month. I seriously doubt it.

"Look, Clary, it's not safe here. I'm not even sure why you're here."

"Why are you here?" I cut in, again without thinking. Luke doesn't meet my gaze and he shifts uncomfortably. Before he can respond, though, Jace answers.

"He's a werewolf, of course. Why wouldn't he be here?"

D'oh. Oh yeah. My mouth is moving faster than my mind. I must be more tired than I realize.

"Yeah, well, why are you out back, though?" I try to save face a bit so Jace doesn't think I'm a total airhead. Luke and Jace look at me like I can't be serious. I bet they're thinking the same thing, 'why does it matter?'

"Uh, well, actually, I'm friends with the owner. He lets my pack and me have run of the back of the bar. In exchange for use of the back rooms, I do odd jobs for him here. I was taking out the trash and recycling when I heard noises coming from back here. I saw a couple of Shadowhunters climb out of there, but I don't think they saw me. I walked over to see what was going on, and that's when I saw you." He looks kind of exasperated at having to explain something so trivial, but I guess he wants to show me he's willing to be totally honest with me. Hopefully.

"We should go elsewhere and talk. I'll explain everything, I promise." Luke eyes Jace suspiciously, who eyes him back with cautious distrust.

"Jace Wayland. Shadowhunter. I kill your kind," Jace says without moving. Luke gives him a look as if to say, 'Shadowhunter, really? You don't say,' as his gaze passes over Jace's gear, weapons, and marks.

"Wayland," Luke murmurs. "I knew a Michael Wayland. We went to school together... with the other members of the Circle. Good man. Never found out what happened to him after the Uprising."

"He died," Jace says with a tone of finality indicating he was done talking about the subject.

Luke's face softens, an expression of sadness and remorse washing over it as he puts two and two together.

"Fine. Let's go," I say, authoritatively, making sure Luke knows I'm the one in charge here, "but I swear, Luke, if you lie to me again, you're out of my life for good. I'm tired of being lied to, of not knowing what's real and what's not. Of not knowing who to trust."

"No more lies," he promises.

Jace insisted that we go to Taki's. I guess he figures talking in public is safest. Or maybe he's just hungry. I gape at him in awe as he inhales a giant plate of pasta. Damn. He eats almost as fast as he moves.

Luke launches into the full history of the Circle without delay. It's like he's been holding all of this back for years, longing to tell me, but unable to do so. I can tell my mom forbade him from breathing a single word of it to me.

Seeing how eager he is to share everything with me, it's evident he's telling the truth, and it explains why there was always this feeling of slight distance and apprehension I got from him. It's almost as if he was afraid he might slip up and reveal something he shouldn't. It makes me realize just how much he cares for me and wanted me to be a part of his life.

My wary standoffishness breaks and morphs into fondness tinged with guilt. How could I ever have doubted him? The closest thing I've ever had to a father? His obvious love for me touches my heart with a pang of pained affection. I want to reach out and hug him across the table, want him to hold me like he did when I was little and scared. 'I miss you so much,' I'm crying out to him in my head.

"When we were in school, Valentine was charming, intelligent, talented. Everyone loved and admired him. He inspired us and when he spoke of change, a new and better world, new Clave leadership, our youthful idealism overtook us. Though I'd always loved your mother, I never expected her to even glance my way. That she was as kind to me as she was, that she permitted me to even be her friend was more than I could ever have hoped for. So, when she and Valentine got together, I was truly happy for them. I felt that there was no one more deserving of her than him. After we all graduated, 'Valentine's fanclub' as Jocelyn teasingly called us became solidified into what officially became known as the Circle. At first, our convictions only increased and Valentine led us boldly and fearlessly. Our belief in him was unshakeable and our devotion to him blinded us to the truth."

"Wait," I interrupt. "My mother and Valentine were together?!" Hodge had briefly told me about the Circle, explaining that the men who were looking for the Cup and took my mother were a part of it, working for Valentine who must still be alive, though everyone thought he'd died. I had found a picture in the library with my mom, Luke, Hodge, Valentine, the men I'd seen, and some other Shadowhunters I didn't recognize. When I freaked out about my mom standing next to Valentine, being a part of the Circle in the first place, Hodge had simply said something similar to what Luke was saying now. 'In youth, the desire to make a difference in the world can be so powerful that it twists your view of reality. Valentine was charming and persuasive, and the things he spoke of in the beginning were very different than the things he ended up doing later on.'

"They got married shortly after graduating, actually."

My eyes continue to widen in horror and disbelief. Jace is silently and attentively listening as Luke speaks, idly munching on one of my french fries every now and again. If I weren't so engrossed in what Luke is saying, I'd probably be pretty peeved. But as it is, I've barely touched my food so I guess it's better someone eat it than it go to waste. Luke only ordered water, which is sitting on the table next to his arm, even more neglected than my burger and fries.

"They were so in love in the beginning. They were… happy, hard as that may be to believe. She was everything to him, and he to her. And they both to me. Valentine had made me his second in command, and I could hardly believe it. I felt so unqualified, not having any of the amazing attributes he had. But he must have seen something in me, trusted me, perhaps, and I tried my best to serve him well. The Circle grew stronger, we formulated plans of attack to overtake the Clave, we went out hunting Downworlders in our mission to rid the world of all demonic taint." Luke shudders when he says this. "And finally, we planned the Uprising, our goal to stop the Accords from taking place."

"I've heard about the Uprising. It was brutal. Many Shadowhunters and Downworlders died." Jace interjects, thoughtfully. Luke nods.

"But something happened that changed everything. One night when Valentine and I had gone out hunting werewolves, I got bitten. I was frightened, hoping beyond hope that I'd be one of the lucky few who escape the curse, but when the full moon rolled around, I knew it was all over for me. When I told Valentine, he handed me a dagger and told me to kill myself. I'd become a filthy lycanthrope, one of the things we'd sworn to eliminate from this world. He turned his back on me, and I ran to my sister, Amatis, hoping she would help me. She was married to Stephen Herondale at the time, who was later offered my previous position of Valentine's second in command after Valentine had told everyone that I'd been killed by a werewolf. Stephen gladly accepted, but Valentine forced him to leave my sister and marry a young girl named Celine, deeming Amatis' "relations" unfit for the Circle. Despite this, Amatis cast me out with disgust when I sought shelter from her, still brainwashed by anti-Downworlder dogma."

Out of the corner of my eyes, I notice Jace grow slightly uncomfortable. He's espoused similar, if not as fanatical, sentiments about Downworlders. He'd never kill one unless they broke the Accords, but it's still no secret that to this day, Shadowhunters and Downworlders have an unspoken hatred of one another. Luke doesn't seem to notice.

"Stephen was later killed in a vampire raid, and I suspect that that was planned, just like my being bitten by a werewolf that night Valentine took me out hunting. Celine, 8 months pregnant at the time, committed suicide, killing her baby as well as a result, her sorrow overtaking her. Stephen's father was also taken by grief and died shortly after. Poor Imogen, Stephen's mother, and the current High Inquisitor, was left alone."

"What do you mean it was planned?" Jace asks solemnly, trying to hide the genuine curiosity on his face out of respect for the tragic story of the Herondales. It's apparent that all of his previous suspiciousness of Luke is totally gone by now.

"Well, as Valentine's words and actions became more sinister, cruel and so removed from what we had expected when we first agreed to follow him, many members of the Circle grew wary of him. We became disenchanted by what he was becoming, by what he was forcing us to do. Even Jocelyn, who loved him more than life itself and had believed in him more than anyone else, had begun sharing her doubts with me. I think it was when I expressed these concerns to Valentine that he became aware of the fact that his wife was losing confidence in him and I was now a threat to him by knowing what Jocelyn had shared with me."

"And Hodge? The Lightwoods? My father? They started turning from Valentine as well, right? That's why they were exiled from Idris and the curse was put on Hodge?" Jace was leaning forward now, his eyes shining and fixed on Luke as if the fate of the world depended on the answer.

"Yes, after the Uprising ended, the Clave punished them for having joined the Circle, but had some leniency on the Lightwoods due to their having children. I'd always thought your father had died in the Uprising, but I guess not since he must have raised you?"

"Until I was ten. That's when I saw him murdered before my eyes."

"Do you know who killed him?"

"Pangborn and Blackwell." Luke's jaw tightens and it seems like all three of us are thinking back to the night when they interrogated Luke. He doesn't say anything in response, but I can see a glimmer of sympathy in his eyes for Jace.

"Valentine sacrificed so many of his so-called friends and followers to achieve his goals. He started experimenting with awful things, demon blood, using the Mortal Cup for his sick attempts to gain power. He tried to increase his own power with it, but realized it was of no use. It would only impact a child."

Both Jace and my eyes widen in horror and anticipation for what Luke is going to say next. Luke's face is grim as he recounts the terrible events to us.

"After I'd run away and joined with a nearby werewolf clan, a warlock named Ragnor Fell informed Jocelyn I was still alive, and she began to visit me and confide her fears in me. She was pregnant with Valentine's child and having terrible dreams, feeling awful even when awake.

A while after she'd given birth to her son, she found a log of experiments Valentine had been conducting and in it, Valentine had written that he'd fed her demon blood while she was pregnant in the hopes that it would cause the baby to be more powerful than a regular Shadowhunter. From the moment Jocelyn had seen her baby, she knew something was wrong, and after finding out that he was part demon, she knew why.

She grew scared and repulsed by the child, by Valentine. Before too much longer, however, she discovered that she was pregnant again, and this time, determined not to let Valentine know lest he turn their second child into a monster as well, she decided to put a stop to what Valentine was doing and leave him. She asked me to help her thwart the uprising and I did everything that was in my power to protect and aid her."

My heart is racing and I'm scared to death by what Luke is telling us. She was pregnant again… She ran away with Luke's help… Could it be…? Could it be that Valentine is my father? The idea makes me want to throw up, to run screaming out of the restaurant, but I'm glued to the booth's plastic seat. I couldn't get up if I wanted to. I need to hear it for myself. I need to know if it's true.

"When she opened the doors for myself and the other werewolves to enter the Accords Hall, Valentine realized she'd finally turned against him, and after the Uprising ended, Jocelyn and I went to Fairchild Manor to retrieve the child, who despite everything, she still saw as her son and hoped she could raise him in a way to reverse the evil that his father had done, but when we arrived, we found the house in ruins. It had been burnt to the ground and we found the bones of her parents and a man and child, who we assumed to be Valentine and their son."

Jace and I gasp almost simultaneously, though his is much quieter. I feel a shudder run through my body and attempt to wrap my brain around how someone could do such an awful thing.

"We knew that Valentine would never give up that easily, however, so I helped Jocelyn to steal the Cup and escape, to try to hide from Valentine, to prevent him from continuing his terrible experiments with it, and to stop him from ever getting his hands on their second child... you, Clary." Luke looks at me with an expression I can't even begin to describe. There is so much feeling in it that it almost overwhelms me as much as what he's just said. I have to look away; my heart is threatening to burst from my chest it's pounding so hard. The weight of this revelation is like a blow to the face and I'm reeling from it. '

'No…' is the only thing that's going through my head right now. Over and over, I'm just repeating, 'No…' My breath is ragged as I sit here in silent shock. But this is Luke. It's coming from Luke. And once again, I truly believe with all my heart that he would never lie to me. Jace moves to put a hand on my arm, but I flinch and pull away. I feel like I'm covered in third degree burns and even my clothes moving against my skin is agony.

"This, in part, is why Jocelyn did what she did. Why she lied to you all these years, why she so desperately tried to conceal her past, this world, from you. She was deathly afraid that Valentine would find you. Would do unspeakable things to you like he did to your brother, especially if he had the Cup again."

Brother... I had a brother… and my father murdered him. My hatred of Valentine was increasing by the moment. The discovery of him being my father almost making it worse, knowing what he did to my mother, to my grandparents, to Luke, to Jace's father, and to so many others.

"Clary, please try to understand. Your mother saved you. Saved both of you by fleeing, by using magic in order to stop you from entering into that world, the past, Valentine's radar. She gave you life; she had a second chance to start over and protect her child as she hadn't been able to before."

A thick lump has formed in my throat and I'm having trouble swallowing. I glance down at my coke, but can't bring myself to pick it up. My head is hurting; it's too much for me to take in all at once. The shock is wearing off, though, the adrenaline is dissipating, and I'm coming back down to Earth. The pain and exhaustion of my body hits me like a sledgehammer. I don't think I can stand it much longer.

"Luke…" I begin, not sure of what to say. "Luke… I'm so sorry." Tears well up in my eyes. "I'm so sorry for everything." I'm biting my tongue to keep from crying, determined not to show weakness in front of Jace.

Luke's arm twitches as though he wants to put his hand on mine, but doesn't. I'm glad because although I want nothing more than to be in his arms, my body still feels so raw, I know it would just cause me more pain.

"You didn't know…" He says softly. He looks like he wants to say something more, to ask me questions of his own, but I think he can tell how worn out I am. It's so late now anyway. I don't know what time it is, but it feels like it's the middle of the night.

What a day. I get my ass handed to me in my first Shadowhunting training session. I kill my first demon and mark a shadowhunter for the first time, both draining me of more strength than I expected. And now this. All of this. All of what Luke is telling me, all these secrets I didn't know. If I thought my world had been turned upside down before, that's nothing compared to how I feel now.

Despite my foggy headspace, despite being lost in thought, I force myself to come back to reality for a second and look at Jace. He's staring intently at me, almost as if he's trying to put himself in my shoes and feel what I'm feeling. It makes me feel uncomfortable, but it's nice to know he cares. He furrows his brow at me and says,

"We should go back to the Institute. You look like death." I manage a weak chuckle.

"Ha, thanks. You look good, too." But I feel like death, too. Jace doesn't smile.

"Yes, I'm sure you're exhausted, Clary. I know this is a lot to process, and although I'm not sure what you've been up to today, it looks like your body could do with as much rest as your mind."

"It's a long story, but I'll tell you about it when I've gotten some energy back."

"As you like. You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want, but just know, my door is always open. If you ever need somewhere to go, I'm here. I'm sorry I couldn't say that sooner, but things weren't so safe. Now… well, anyway… come over anytime, you're welcome to stay as long as you like, too. And if you ever need anything, anything... please… don't hesitate to ask."

There is nothing but honesty and concern in his face. He looks like the Luke I've always known and loved... trustworthy, strong, always there when I needed him. And I notice that for the first time, the distance between us is gone. I thank the Angel for returning him to me, and not just that, but for bringing us closer together than we've ever been before. All I can do is smile at him, hoping he knows how I feel inside.

"Come on. Let's go," Jace says gently and nods to the door.

We all slide out of the booth seats and stand looking at each other. Jace extends a hand to Luke, which surprises him, but he accepts it with a warm smile.

"Take good care of our Clary."

"I will."

I blush. I look at Luke and though the sensitivity in my skin hasn't fully faded, I throw myself into his arms. He looks taken aback for a moment as I wrap my arms around his waist and squeeze him tightly, burying my head into his chest, but he quickly recovers and squeezes me even more tightly, almost crushing me.

"Luke!" I gasp, feeling like my lungs are about to collapse. He releases me in a hurry.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! Werewolf strength…" He looks away sheepishly. I just smile as I give him another quick hug and say,

"Don't worry about it. Regardless of what these Shadowhunters may say, I think it's kinda cool, actually." Both Luke and Jace have a dark expression on their faces as I say this, but remain silent.

"Be safe, Clary. And if you don't mind, please check in from time to time so I know you're okay."

"I will," I promise, knowing I'll probably be checking in with him far more than he's expecting. I don't think he knows how much I need him in my life.

As we're headed back to the Institute, Jace pulls out his phone.

"Oh crap. Alec and Izzy have left me a billion messages. They must be worried sick, wondering what happened to us. They're going to slaughter me when they find out we're alright."

"Well, that seems kind of counterproductive." Jace looks unamused.

"How are you holding up?" He eyes me anxiously. I'm sure he's noticing how slow and difficult my movements are. My face and tone of voice are flat and expressionless. All of my energy is being used up in my attempts to not collapse where I stand. I make a noise somewhere between a grumble, moan, and 'hrmph.'

"That good, eh? Glad to know today wasn't too hard on you." The corner of his mouth turns up ever so slightly. Jace Wayland, ladies and gentlemen. Incapable of having a conversation without inserting at least one sarcastic comment. But I guess I'm not really one to talk.

I feel like dying. My eyes are closing and I just want to go to sleep. For a moment, I'm afraid I have fallen asleep while my body moves on autopilot. I think I'm just going in and out of consciousness like the way people black out when drunk. That's never happened to me before, though. I don't even drink.

"Clary…" says Jace as we're approaching the Institute gates.

"Mmm?"

"Clary," Jace repeats, this time with more force. I open my eyes and realize I'm on the ground. I have no idea how I got here.

"Wh-what happened?" I see his face hovering over mine, looking worried.

"You passed out... while walking… I shouldn't have gone so hard on you today in training. It was more than you could handle."

"It's not your fault. You didn't know that the rest of the day was going to be, well, the rest of the day… I think normally I would have been fine, but it's just the mental strain of everything plus the physical strain that is messing me up." I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open. It feels like my body is shutting down against my will. I can't remember the last time I stayed up this late. I'm usually an early to bed, early to rise kind of gal. I'm not enjoying this change of schedule.

"Come on, we need to get you to bed before you pass out again." He's helping me to my feet, but just when I'm standing, my knees go out and I'm falling again. I feel Jace catch me and lift me up, one arm under my knees, one under my back. He sort of jostles me, helping my arms to fall around his neck. I feel like a child being put to bed by their parent and close my eyes, resting my head against his chest. Underneath the smell of demon ichor, dirt, and diner food, I can smell his sweat and body odor. It smells good. Salty, musky, and yet still clean like soap somehow. I let it comfort me as I relax in his arms.

The next thing I know, I'm being set on my bed. I feel someone taking off my boots, weapon harness, jacket, and gloves. In my state of semi-consciousness, I wonder who it is. I'm reluctant to open my eyes. I feel a hand run over my hair and cup my cheek. My heart leaps, and I let my eyes open just a crack, hopefully not so much as to let the other person know I'm awake. Jace is leaning over me, looking at me with a mixture of concern and tenderness. Tenderness. I never would have thought I'd see that in Jace's face. I can feel a faint swirling sensation inside of me to see him looking like that at me. I wonder what it means.

He pulls back his hand and looks at my shirt and pants as if deliberating as to whether or not he should remove them, too, seeing as how they're just as filthy as his are. I feel my breath catch as I'm awaiting his decision, trying not to let myself form an opinion about what happens either way. He seems to think better of it, then turns and leaves the room. I release my breath with mild disappointment, but let myself relax again, falling back asleep.