Avowing to put Arizona and Mike as well as Will Stambridge behind them, Matt and Kitty did their best to move on. But then that day came when Matt was forced to shoot Ely Baines. He hadn't wanted to and he would've done anything in his power to avoid it but there had been no other choice.

Intellectually, he knew that. But in his heart, he carried a great deal of grief and guilt whenever he thought about the look on Maylee's face as he'd knelt down beside her dead husband. Despite Kitty's pleas, Matt saddled up and rode out. He only knew one way to deal with this and he took it, leaving Kitty and Dodge behind until he could find some sort of peace in what happened.

When he finally returned, he carried with him a somewhat lighter load of grief, though the guilt remained, and a baby. The guilt he continued to carry, he kept it with him as he strode down the street to the jail. The baby he left with Kitty. A baby that the red head fell head over heels in love with and wanted to keep.

Matt and Doc disagreed, heavily. Doc thought she had no business trying to raise a child in a saloon and that Maylee would be a better mother.

Matt didn't necessarily agree that Maylee would be better, but he didn't much like the idea of what would happen to the relationship that he and Kitty had worked so hard to restore should she adopt the child. He, for the most part, liked things the way they were and the baby would change that.

Kitty didn't care what either of the men thought. She loved and wanted this child. She was quite prepared to give up her business and even, if he deemed her too much trouble with a baby in tow, Matt. But in the end she didn't. It took more courage and more love than anyone in Dodge could ever fathom, but Kitty gave the baby to Maylee Baines, requesting only that she be allowed to visit sometimes.

The night Matt and Kitty returned to town, after delivering the infant to her new mother, they sat stiffly in Delmonico's saying little. Kitty pushed the food around on her plate but ate very little. Matt knew she was hurting. He knew she had grown attached to Mary but in his mind she had done the only practical thing and he figured she soon get over it.

She did, but it was a long time coming.

"Kitty?" He asked, looking over at her. "Do you think it'll always be like this?" He asked warily one evening as they sat at a table in the back of the Long Branch.

A month after Mary had left her life, Kitty was still rather distant from not only him, but Doc as well. It wasn't that she was mad or hated them or anything of that nature. But she was hurt. She felt like they hadn't trusted her enough, hadn't had enough faith in her ability to not only care for the child but to raise her. The two men she depended on most let her down.

Kitty looked up from the books she'd been working on and frowned. "Huh?"

"Do you think you'll always be mad at me?" He clarified.

"Mad at you?" She was a bit confused. "Mad at you for what?"

"For Mary." Matt answered, looking down, afraid of seeing confirmation in her eyes.

Kitty placed her pencil down and closed her books, taking a deep breath as she did so. "I need to put these up in my office." She rose from her seat and then looked down at him. "Want to come with me?"

Eagerly, Matt nodded, rose and followed her into the office. Thoughts of locking the door, pushing her against the wall and kissing her senseless were on his mind as he followed her in. But he saw very quickly, that wasn't about to happen, at least not yet.

After Matt entered into her office, Kitty closed the door and stepped over to her desk, putting her books up. Without saying a word, she grabbed a glass and pulled a bottle of brandy from a cupboard and poured herself a shot, not bothering to ask Matt if he wanted any.

"Kitty…" Matt began when several moments went by and she hadn't spoken.

"No, Matt." She shook her head and waved a hand. "I don't want to hear it."

"Hear what?" He asked. "Hear that I love you. Hear that I'm sorry for putting you into the position I did with Mary. Hear that…"

"Enough, Matt."

Her voice rose and he darted a glance at her eyes. But instead of the anger he expected, he saw only pain.

"Matt, I'm not mad at you, or Doc or anyone else. I'm hurt. You and Doc especially hurt me pretty badly over that baby and I'm sorry if I'm not acting like you think I should but I don't know how else to act. You didn't trust me."

She paused and took a trembling breath before continuing. "You and Doc knew I loved that baby. You knew I was ready to give up everything to keep her. But you treated me as though I was unfit. You acted as though I wasn't good enough to be her mother as if I wasn't worthy to have her. I have never been so hurt in my life, Matt. Of all people, I thought you knew me. I thought you knew and trusted me to be capable enough to raise that baby. But you acted as though I was somehow not as good as Maylee Baines."

Kitty quickly turned away from him when she realized she was about to cry. She had promised herself that she wouldn't cry, that she would remain quiet and deal with the pain and loss of both the baby, as well as Matt and Doc's trust, quietly. But he had asked and in his asking he'd unleashed everything she'd been trying so hard to keep inside.

Matt dropped his head, unsure of what to say. He had never meant to hurt her. He was sure Doc hadn't either, but the evidence that they had was there, plain to see and hard to ignore. Though her back was to him, Matt could tell she was crying and he wanted to pull her into his arms and dry her tears but he doubted she be too receptive of his touch right then.

His second thought was just to leave, get away. He hated to see a woman cry, especially this woman and he seldom knew exactly what to do when it happened. But he knew if he left right then, he might lose her completely. So he stood and waited, saying nothing and making not a move.

Kitty expected him to leave. She knew how he felt about tears and emotions. They scared him. But he hadn't left and she was grateful. She knew if he left right then, their relationship would be irreparably damaged.

When she finally turned around he was standing as he had been. A look of sadness like she'd never seen was planted on his face and she wanted more than anything to go to him and take it away. But she remained where she was. It was his move and what he did would determine what happened from then on between them.

"I'm sorry." He said simply. "I can't speak for Doc and you'll need to talk to him about his actions. But for me, I never meant to hurt you and not once did I ever think you weren't worthy of that baby or capable of taking care of her."

He watched her as he spoke but so far she remained rigid and wary. "I was being selfish, Kitty." He confessed. "I didn't want to share you with a baby and I didn't want our lives to change. I never once realized what all this was doing to you. I knew you cared about that baby and I knew you would make a good mother, but I… I…"

He stopped, not used to saying so much in one breath. "I love you." He finally said. "And I will do anything in my power to take away the pain and hurt I caused you, if you'll give me a chance. I'll even ride back out and take Mary away from Maylee and support your adopting her if that's what it will take."

"Oh, Matt."

Kitty's tears returned and Matt could no longer keep his distance. In two strides he was in front of her, pulling her tightly against him. She offered no resistance. "I'm sorry, honey." He murmured kissing her on the forehead. "I am so sorry."

When Kitty's tears had subsided and he was sure she was alright, he pushed her slightly back and brought her gaze up to meet his. "I meant what I said, Kitty. If you want that baby, I'll go back out there, get her and bring her back to you. The judge hasn't been to town yet so Maylee's adoption of Mary isn't official yet."

Kitty considered that for a moment, but finally she shook her head. "No, Matt." She told him. "Not now. I don't want Maylee to feel what I did at losing her. Leave her where she's at. But promise me something?"

"Anything." Matt answered, so relieved that she'd accepted his apology and that they could repair what his blundering good intentions had damaged.

"Promise me you won't bring me any more babies I can't keep." She said only half joking.

Matt pulled back to him with a smile. "Never." He answered. "Next one's yours forever.

TBC