SURPRISE IT'S ME

I HAVE SUMMER SCHOOL. EW. BUT IT'S BIO SO IT'S ALL GOOD.

I ONLY OWN MY OC'S. IF I OWNED BLUE EXORCIST YUKIO WOULD ADMIT HIS FEELINGS FOR SHIEMI AND STOP BEING SUCH A SUICIDAL EMO TEEN.

*GODDAMN PERVS AND FUCKING GUILT*

Hours later, I come to, finding Yukio standing over me with a worried expression on his face. I don't speak because if I open my mouth, I'll fucking cry like a fucking baby. Not that there's anything wrong with babies; I love 'em, it's just that they cry a fucking lot. "You are awake. That is good." He puts on a forced smile. I can tell it's forced because I used to use them everyday at school. I break eye contact with him and stare at the floor. Yukio clears his throat and I glance back up at him. "Burial tomorrow. Come… please."

That makes me feel guiltier. His dad was dead, because I couldn't save him. I had the tools. I had him in my grasp… but then he slipped straight through my fingertips like quicksilver. I clench my teeth and stand, thanking Yukio curtly before throwing my backpack on and walking out of the monastery.

I make my way through the streets, searching my pockets and bag for money. I have maybe 75 dollars on me, not counting the change in my bag. People give me weird stares and start whispering to themselves. I just stare at my shoes and keep walking. Some older guys approach me, drunk out of their minds. One of them, the one who appeared to be the leader of the group, drapes his arm over my shoulders and whispers something in my ear, his closeness making me tense up. "Leave me alone, hentai." I almost stammer, trying to get him away from me. I manage to push him off me and sprint through the crowd, dodging as many people as possible. I keep running as I hear him behind me, accidentally bumping into someone in my path. The person raises his voice at me, and I shrink my shoulders in towards my neck. "Sorry." I mumble dejectedly and look up to find a brown haired boy much taller than I, with a blond streak going straight up the middle of his head. He takes in my ragged clothing (the kids at my old school enjoyed tormenting me like that) and his eyes widen at the burns that mar my skin. The wind picks up, assaulting my exposed body with frigid air. He looks towards two other guys and he calls them over, one with pink hair, and the other with glasses. Bon, Shima, and Koneko. My mind registers who they are, but I'm in mild shock and too depressed to fangirl.

"Are you okay?" Bon asks and I stare up at him, trying not to cry. I turn my gaze back to the ground before uttering one simple, yet despair-filled, sentence.

"I couldn't save him."

A shadow overcomes Bon's face. He addresses Shima and Koneko and they nod in agreement. The teenager takes off his jacket and drapes it over my shoulders. "You wear it." He insists before I could protest. "My name is Ryūji, this is Konekomaru and Shima." Konekomaru waves and Shima greets me with a 'yo'.

"Ryan Conrad." I mumble and look behind me out of paranoia. Bon catches my gaze and the guy who was following me freezes once Bon glares at him. He growls something along the lines of 'get lost' and the guy runs. "Thanks, er, arigato."

"Don't mention it. Come on, you can get cleaned up at our place." Bon offers and I shake my head.

"Thanks for the offer, but I have a…" my voice trails off and I bite my tongue to keep from crying. "A funeral to attend tomorrow." Shima and Koneko share a look from behind Bon.

"Even more reason to get cleaned up. You're going to a funeral dressed in that?" Bon asks and I look away in shame.

"I've got a dress in my backpack…" Not a total lie. School uniform. The Kyoto trio blinks.

"Dress?" Bon asks, realization sweeping over his face. "Wait… you're telling me you're a girl?!"

"Yeah, why else would my hair look like this?" I yank on my hair to prove my point. "On a different note, you speak English very well."

"Been speaking it since middle school. Useful for…" Bon cuts himself off.

"I know all about demons and exorcists. It's useful for Arias, right?" I reassure him that it's alright to talk about that stuff. "Well, Ryūji, Shima, Konekomaru, it was nice meeting you, but I have to… go…" my voice trails off. It suddenly occurs to me that I have nowhere to go. "I might just have to take you up on that offer." Bon wraps his arm around me and says something to the other two boys in Japanese. The two nod, and Shima looks thrilled in a pervy teenager way. "Oi, Shima. Iie hentai or however you say 'don't be a perv, you li'l shit' in Japanese." I tell off the pinket… pinkette? Let's just fucking go with it.

The three walk me to the train and purchase tickets. "So, Ryan, where are you from?" Bon asks me.

"I'm from Vermont, a small town called Arlington." I reply. "Really quiet place, takes ten minutes to get to town by car."

We continue making small talk on the way, and Konekomaru and Shima try their hand at conversation in very broken English. We continue talking until Shima and Konekomaru decide to hit the hay for the night. Bon and I are sitting in the floor.

"Hey, Ryūji? Can I tell you something?" My question catches his attention.

"Yeah, shoot." He replies. I look over to him.

"Someone died because of me today. Right in front of me. I couldn't save him, I couldn't save his son from his fate, or his home, or keep it from happening. I knew it was going to happen, and I couldn't stop it because I'm too weak. One more minute, and I could have saved him. The guilt is crushing me, it's eating away at me, and it hurts. It really hurts. It doesn't go away." My chest tightens and my throat closed slightly. "I don't know what to do, I'm going to see his two sons tomorrow at the funeral, and I can't face them…" Tears drip down my cheeks and I look to the floor, shaking.

Bon's arm reaches around my back and he places his hand on my shoulder, pulling me towards him. "Then don't. But if you want to get stronger, overcome this. Learn from it and never let it happen again. You've got two good feet, stand up and start walking." He comforts, albeit similar to Kyo Sohma. "I take it you like anime?"

"Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood." I give a half-assed smile through my tears. "Yeah. Anime helps me escape reality safely." I wipe my tears away. Something I read a while ago pops into my head. "F. E. A. R. Forget everything and run, or face everything and rise." I mumble, psyching myself up. "Hey, Ryūji?"

Bon looks down at me.

"Thanks."