a/n- I do not own Zelda.

"Link....Link....LINK LINK LINK LINK LIIINNNNKKK!!!!!!"

Annoyed, Link looked over at Navi with a scowl over his face. "WHHAAAATTTTT!!!?!?!!?!?"

"Oh....never mind I forgot."

"YOU FORGOT?!?!?!" Link huffed in frustration. "Gosh now I gotta go to freaking Castle town!"

They took a bathroom break and headed into castle town.

"Hey Navi look! There's a Happy Mask Shop."

They entered the Happy Mask Shop. "Yo boy, can I get me the Keaton mask?"

The old man grinned freakishly at them. "Ho ho ho ho ho! You can only have it if you sell it and bring the money back. Ho ho ho!"

"Fine Santa Clause, I'll do that." Link said while rolling his eyes.

Link and Navi left the shop and headed back to Kakariko Village.

"Y'know Navi, I'm finally doing something good instead of doing something bad."

"I reall don't care Link."

They got some pop rocks and ate them. "I want some Hershey bars!!!" Link said. Navi sighed. "Here Link." She handed him some chocolate.

"YAYY!!"

Link ate all the chocolate that Navi gave him. "Let's go to KAKARIKO!" He shouted. Then out of nowhere, "Eye of the Tiger" came on as they were walking in slow motion toward the village. They gave the guard the Keaton mask.

Then they

"You really need some Reese cups huh Link?" Navi asked.

"OH CRAP! It's night time!"

Skeletons came out of the ground and charged at them. "That's it skeletons! Imma cut all you heads off!" Link shouted. he cut their heads off and then they all died.

"Finally they're all dead." Link growled. Then a GIANT skeleton came out of the ground. "AWWW MAN!" Then Link killed it.

"Navi, WE NEED TO GET TO THE FOREST!!!"

Link and Navi skipped to the Forest.

"Okay." Link said. "Where's the man/woman? AKA SARIA?" They got to Saria's hideout and she taught Link the song "Rock and Roll All Night".

"Well, all we have to do now, is get to the old man goron." Said Link.

Saria turned to Link. "I can get you guys there in 3 seconds in my flowermobile!"

Link had to get to the old man goron FAST, but he DEFINITELY was NOT going in that flowermobile.

"You know what man/woman, I am NOT riding in that thing, and THAT'S FINAL!"

They then beat the crap out of Saria and hi-jacked her for everything except for the flowermobile an walked back to the old man goron.

When they got there, Link went up to the old man goron. "Here's the song 'Rock and Roll All Night' OKAY"

He played the song and the old man goron discoed insanely and sang along. "NYEHEHEHEHE JOE I OH! NEYEHEHEHEHEHE JOE I OH!"

The old goron gave Link a braclet so he can pick up bombs and said "If you kill monstrous dodongo king, then I give you shiny red rock candy I will!"

"OH YEAAAAAAHHH!!!" Link said. "I GOT A BRACELET!!!"

"Shut up Link! Just get into Dodogo's Cavern already! GOSH!!!"

When outside, Link saw the cave surrounded by a rocks. He saw a bomb flower garden by a goron. Link grabbed the bomb flower and threw it over the cliff and it blew the rocks up into teeny tiny pieces. They entered the cave then.

"Link! We're in Dodongo's Cavern!"

Link made a fist and hit his chest a few times signaling that Navi was a retard. He grabbed a bomb and blew the rock wall up which enabled them to enter the temple.

"DANNNGGGG!!! This place is big!"

Link then jumped across a rock onto a piller that rises and onto a giant platform."Why is there a type 7 diabetes reptile....looking at me?" Said Link.

"Link, that's a stuffed puppy dog that kinda looks like a reptile....but it's not."

"Navi, if you ever interupt me again, then I will NEVER and I mean NEVER share my Halloween candy with you!!! And I get tons because I steal Mido's when he's not looking."

"NONONONONONONONONONO!!! PLEASE!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!! REESE CUPS!!!" Navi pleaded.

"Then YOU shut up, and let's do this place so I can go makeout with Princess Zel- er I mean do another temple!!! Yeah....that's it." He said hesitantly.

Link jumped across a piller and onto a hill and Navi trailed behind him.

"What the freak? Why do I see giant whoppers? And for some reason, they're blocking this door perfectly..." Link said.

"Link, that's not giant whoppers...they're giant brown rocks lined up together to signify something."

Link looked at Navi like she was Stephen Hawking and he took a bomb flower and blew up the rocks.

"That takes care of them giant whoppers!"

They found an iron door down the hall. Link then blew it up AGAIN for no reason.

"Link.....it didn't have rocks blocking it."

"I know Navi, I just like blowing stuff up." He grinned at her. Navi rolled her eyes before trailing off, away from Link.

"HEY! COME BACK HERE NAVI!"

Moments later, Navi came back wearing air force ones, a baggy shirt, baggy jeans, and bling everywhere....again.

"Okay Navi, let me paraphrase this for you; YOU'RE NOT GANGSTA!!!!" Link said.

"Well....I may be a poser, but at least I have 40 pounds of Hershey Bars."

Link's eyes grew wide and he shouted. "GIVVVVVVEEEEEEEEE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HERSHEY BARS!!!!!!!"

"Link BATS!"

He got out his slingshot and shot the bats and went through the other door in front of them.

"NAVI, there are dinosaurs everywhere!!" Link shrieked.

"Dino sours? ME LIKE dino SOURS!!!" (a/n- Yes, it's dino and then sours....Navi thinks they're candy.)

Navi then ate the small dino sours.

"GIANT WHOPPERS!!!!"

"Link, are you hallucinating again? It's just another iron door..."

"Hey Navi! Look! PINK FAIRIES!!!"

"Oh no you didn't! Pink fairies trying to be ruining my swagga!"

Link stared at her oddly. "Navi, you don't have a swagga....you're not gangsta."

Navi then beat the crap out of the pink fairies and then the two went inside the door.

"OOOOOOOOOH! MORE GIANT DINO SOURS!" The big "dino sour" breathed fire on Navi.

"AAAHHHH!!!!! I'm....not on fire?" Navi scratched her head. "Why am I not on fire?"

"You're a fairy Navi, you can't die or get hurt....unfortunately." Link said. "Oh, anyways, LOOK NAVI I FOUND A POT!"

He broke the pot and found a deku stick. "I GOT A STICK!" Link admitted happily. "Good for you..." Navi rolled her eyes.

He lit the torches and went inside the door.

"ARRRGGHHH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH!!!"

Link looked at the Lizafos oddly. "Do you have Parkinsons?" Link asked but the Lizafos ignored him and tried to attack him.

"OH CRAP!"

He got out his sword and hit it three times then another one came after him.

"What the fiddlesticks? There're two of them!?"

"Yeah Link.....that's what it looks like." Navi said sarcastically.

Link turned and glared at her. "NAVI SHUT UP Or I swear I will take all my Halloween candy from you!!!"

He killed the Lizafos and then an iron door opened. They proceeded inside.

Link looked around boringly. "Man, this place is more boring than the sick Deku Tree. I think I caught the T-Virus from that guy..."

"Resident Evil? Seriously?" Navi mused. "When did you hear about Resident Evil?"

"I watched it on my I-pod Touch." Link admitted.

"WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?!?!?!"

"I got it from hi-jacking Saria..."

*No response*

They (well more Link than Navi) pushed a large rock and another door opened.

"What is up with all these freakin IRON DOORS?!?!" Link yelled.

"Link....it's a TEMPLE."

NAVI!!!! If you don't stop butting in on when I talk to myself, then I'm going to-"

"What're you gonna do to me Link? You can't hurt me....remember?"

Link smirked. "Ah, but I CAN take all your candy..."

Navi freaked out. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

"THEN SHUT UP AND LET'S BEAT THIS PLACE!!!!"

Link and Navi then climbed up and went through an iron door....AGAIN.

"Tons of platforms....HUH Navi?"

Navi mumbled under her breath. "Yeah...thinks he's gonna take my chocolate...he ain't taking my chocolate...I like chocolate...stupid kid.."

"What was that Navi?"

"Ohh. nothing!" Navi sweat dropped.

They walked across some platforms and found a chest. Link stared at it.

"I bet this chest has golden neon lights too." He opened the chest and it contained gold neon lights, blue neon lights, green neon lights and a ton of bling coming out of it with 50 Cent's rap song booming out of the speakers in it.

*No response from Navi*

"Hey Navi....is this where you've been getting that gangsta stuff?"

*No response*

He dug into the chest and found a bomb bag. "HOLY CRAP NAVI! LOOK! LOOK AT THIS! I GOT PORTA-BOMBS!" He peered into the bomb bag. "SWEET! A PSP!!"

They walked into a room and shot an eye that was hanging randomly on a wall that triggered the fire to extinguish, allowing Link to get across.

"Here Navi, take a chocolate bar." Link handed one to her.

"CCCHHHHOOOOOCOLATE!!!!" Navi screamed.

"Gosh Navi...."

"I LOVE CHOCOLATE! Especially HERSHEY!"

They ran across a bridge and dropped two bombs into the eyes of the Giant Dead Dodongo. They then jumped down the bridge into the entrance where the Boss supposedly was.

"That was unexpecting..." They said in unison.

The two jumped off the platform and onto the ground.

"Why...did I just do that?" Link murmured to himself.

"I need more candy everybody!" Link stared at Navi.

"Navi, who the heck are you talking to? There's no 'everybody' around here, it's just me and you. And besides, we don't have anymore candy."

"WHY NOT!!!" Navi threw a fit and stomped her 'feet'.

"Because that's all Zelda gave me! You ate it all!"

*No response*

Link pushed a big block onto a platform that allowed him to climb onto another platform. "What is up with all these platforms?" Link said.

They pushed another block to the ground and pushed it onto a switch that allowed them to proceed through another door. Then they blew a hole into the ground and went down the hole to where King Dodongo was.

"OHHH MY GOD!" Link screamed. "Th-this guy has to at LEAST have type 80000 diabetes!"

He threw a bomb in the giant lizard's mouth and he rolled around weirdly. Link soon followed with two more bombs in the monster's mouth and he rolled into the lava and died.

"THAT WAS LAVA? I thought that was salsa..." Link pouted. Navi trailed over to him.

"THAT was the most fattest thing that has ever lived !!! Right Link?" Navi asked.

Link got the heart container and teleported out of nowhere to the entrance to the cave.

"YOU DONE IT BROTHER!!! YOU KILLED KING DODONGO YOU HAVE!" It was the old man goron. "I give you, give you goron red ruby rock I will!"

Link cheered. "YESS!! Only one more stone to go! Now let's go to Zora's River!"

"Finally that place is over with!" Navi said relieved.

"But brother, you can get magic power from stripper fairy, you CAN!"

"Where IS this 'stripper fairy' anyways?" Link asked him.

"She in mountains high up in rocks, she is!"

"Okaayy....fine. But lemme ask you this; why do you talk like Yoda?"

"Because I AM Yoda! I am!"

Then the so called 'old goron' ripped his goron outfit off.

"You see, I am Yoda, I am!"

a/n- review please!