Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless

a/n It sure seems like it's been awhile since I've typed anything...-sweat- Sorry 'bout that...In honor of the arrival of my new Microsoft Word packet, (I don't get why it's not standard anymore...) I've decided to update! YAY! And...this is actually chapter five. I lost all my data on the original chapter four, so I moved everything up...sorry for the inconvienince.

Drabblie 4.

Kio and Soubi, two best friends since grade school sat in the chilly bachelor pad of the taller man. Kio lay sprawled out on the floor, art utensils spread around him and around his nearly full sketchpad, while Soubi stared blankly at his pure white canvas, pondering what to paint. Kio, breaking the comfortable silence with his loud voice, spoke up.

"Hey, Sou-chan."

Soubi, thankful for the interruption, acknowledged his peirced friend.

"Yeah?"

Kio thought about how to phrase his next sentence. "I was just thinking...How do you pluralize 'dildo?'"

Soubi, still somewhat engrossed with wondering what to draw, didn't register the comment at first. "I don't...wait a minute. WHAT?!"

"Well, I was just wondering...I mean is it 'dildos,' 'dildose...' There are so many possible spellings..." he blurbed aloud, completely comfortable with the awkward situation.

Soubi, used to the eccentricities of Kio, just went along with it. "I see..."

Kio continued with his musing. "Or is it just 'dildo?'"

This sparked a smidgen of curiousity within the tall blonde man. "Like how in English 'moose' plural is still 'moose?'"

"Yeah." Kio swung his feet back and forth in the air.

"Hm...that's actually a good question..." As soon as this sentence left Soubi's soft lips, as if on cue, Ritsuka walked in.

"What are you guys talking about?" Ritsuka asked as he opened a bag of Oh! Chips (1) and popped one in his mouth.

Soubi and Kio could do nothing but stare as they tried to work up a lie. ...-stare-

Ritsuka felt their combined gazes upon him. (Soubi's staring he was used to, but usually Kio would just say "Hi" and proceed to bug Soubi.) "What? Is there something on my face?"

Kio made an instant decision, and just went with it. "How do you spell the pluralization of 'dildo?'"

At which point, Soubi tackled Kio to the ground, careful not to get his fingers tangled in the smaller man's many earrings.

Tackle. Deathglare.

Ritsuka thought about it, before answering a split second later. "Oh, that's easy!"

Soubi, hand still clamped over Kio's mouth, looked up at his Sacrifice. "Huh?"

Ritsuka replied "Yeah, it's 'dildoes.'"

Kio wiggled out from under Soubi, and turned to the little boy, smirk on his face. "Are you sure?" he giggled at Soubi, who remained in shock from hearing such a thing from his innocent moe angel. (2)

Ritsuka furrowed his eyebrows as he tried to remember. "Mm...Yeah. That's what Yayoi-san (3) told me."

Soubi, no longer stunned, glared at the snickering Kio, before directing his mind to Ritsuka. "Do you even know what a dildo is?"

"Uh...should I?" Ritsuka mentally mused to himself, 'I never thought THAT info would come in handy...'

Kio leered at the dark-haired cat-boy. (4) "Well, do you want to find out?"

Soubi gaped at Kio, unable to comprehend the current situation.

Ritsuka perked up at the chance to learn more about the mysterious 'Dildo.' "Yeah, sure! What are they? Tell me, tell me!"

Kio started "They're--" before being cut off for the second time that night by Soubi clamping his hand over his mouth.

Soubi answered for him. "Flowers, Ritsuka."

Ritsuka didn't give the situation a second thought. "Flowers?"

Soubi sighed as Kio tried to bite his hand. "Yes."

"Are they pretty? Do they grow near here?" 'Well, if anyone knows about exotic flowers, it's Soubi.'

"Yes, yes, unfortunately." He replied as he glared at the man wriggling beneath him.

"...? Hey, Soubi?"

"Yes, Ritsuka?" He beamed up at the twelve year old.

"Can we go pick some dildoes?"

Kio, despite still having Soubi's hand over his mouth, began laughing his ass off.

Soubi could do naught but blush.

Ritsuka looked at Soubi's fiercely blushing face, and at Kio's pierced one, which was now an odd shade of purple from laughing so hard. "What'd I say?"

THE END.

(1) Real brand. They're supposed to be a lot like...Ruffles' Sour Cream and Onion chips. I do not own either of them, much like I don't own Loveless...

(2) If you've read 'Love Neko' on Mangafox, (a.k.a. Love Neco. The spelling's are always different for some reason.) you got the joke. -It's actually a really good series. Very roflmao.-

(3) Anybody else notice that's one little letter away from 'yaoi?' Just a thought...

(4) Another Love Neco reference, just for Briana-sensei.

a/n Imma perv. I know. I always make Ritsuka the naive uke...and Kio is ALWAYS a perv, regardless of my attempts to write him as something else...

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