AN: SM owns Twilight.

I hope you enjoy the new look Bella who has grown a backbone of steel!

Chapter three. Finding my strength, using my snark.

"Ok Bella, lets start out with your weight and height." The nurse said as she started the routine collection of information, for the doctor doing my health check.

Things got interesting after that, with several samples of my blood taken, urine sampled, blood pressure measured, as well as having an ECG, lung capacity noted, and then answering a long, extensive questionnaire, about diseases running in both sides of the family, my exercise routines, eating habits, sleep patterns, drug history, medications, adverse drug reactions and allergies, childhood accidents and diseases and on and on...

Finally I saw the GP and he asked a few more questions. He gave me an eye, throat and external abdominal exam and gave me a visual skin check for any skin cancer, lumps, bumps and rashes.

"After looking at your general health Bella, I must say you are very healthy, but rather underweight for your height. All of your major organs are excellent, your lungs, heart, kidneys, eyes and skin are good."

"Although you have been under considerable stress recently with your father being sick, I'm sure you will bounce back to normal once things settle down."

"I suggest you get more sleep and eat more. Don't be tempted to skip meals; you need to keep strong and healthy, especially while looking after your father. Once I get back the results on these blood tests, I'll send you a completed report. Unless there is something untoward that turns up, I won't need to schedule another appointment with you."

"I'm pretty confident you are in good health from my exam and from looking over the questionnaire you answered. Any questions?"

"Um, no. I'm fine thanks."

Esme met me in the waiting room, and paid for my visit.

"You look like you need a nice hot drink and a treat Bella."

"Ha! I think I could! I never knew how in-depth these health checks could be. I'm only sorry I didn't know anything much about my extended family's health issues. I don't know much about my grandparent's health and what they ended up dying from."

"Never mind, it's your health that counts, and I'm going to make sure you are given something after all of that. I'm hankering after a nice hot chocolate and maybe a brownie, what would you like?"

"I'll have the same thanks."

"How did the doctor find your health?"

"I'm slightly underweight and in need of some good night's sleep. He couldn't find anything wrong with me, apart from being stressed-out, but that's understandable considering Dad and his recent worsening health."

"So what's the latest with Charlie?"

"It's not good, they've put him on a ventilator, and he's developed pneumonia. He also has been having seizures. Carlisle felt things weren't too hopeful this morning, when I spoke to him. I might have to eventually come to a decision about pulling him off of the ventilator, if his condition continues to deteriorate."

"Oh honey, that's awful! Are you going back to the hospital after our snack?"

"I really should, but I want to go home and get some cleaning and laundry done. I've been putting a lot of housework on hold, and it's been building up. I'll go back to the ICU after dinner and sit with him for a while. If anything happens while I'm at home, they'll call me."

"Do you want me to come and give you a hand? I could go grab some groceries for you, or run the vacuum over the floor?"

"Esme, thanks for the offer it's really kind of you, but I kind of like doing housework with the music right up really, really loud and singing my head off, all out of tune and crazy. Its too horrible for delicate, mortal ears."I chuckled.

"Ok, but if you change your mind, just let me know." Esme grinned.

"Oh!" My phone started ringing, it was Carlisle.

"Hello?"

"Bella, I'm wondering if you are sitting down?"

"Yes, I'm here with Esme in a cafe."

"I've got some bad news I'm afraid."

"Dad?"

"Yes, Charlie's heart has stopped and we've tried to revive him for the last half an hour...I'm so sorry Bella, but your dad didn't make it."

I sucked in my breath, and went numb.

I'm not sure what happened after that. I guess Esme took the phone off me, spoke to Carlisle and hung up.

I looked down and she had gripped my hand.

"Bella? I'm taking you home with me for a bit, and I won't take no for an answer."

I must have followed her out to her car, as the next thing I remember was being put in a soft, warm bed and closing my eyes to sleep.

I woke up when I heard a clatter beside my head. I opened my eyes and saw Esme putting a breakfast tray down beside me and smiling.

"Hey Esme, what's this?"

"It's just a little breakfast hon; I thought I might try and fuss over you for a bit, just for this morning."

I sat up slowly and fluffed up my pillows. Esme opened up the blinds.

The sun was up and it was it was trying to shine through the heavy cloud cover.

"Thanks so much Esme, you didn't need to go to so much trouble for me."

"Believe me I did! I couldn't just up and leave you all alone in the cafe yesterday, after that phone call. You were in shock and couldn't even talk, let alone drive home by yourself."

"Thanks, it means so much to me that you care. You are treating me with much more care than my own mother. This tray looks lovely, the coffee smells great!"

"Can I come and sit and chat with you while you eat? I just enjoy having you here."

"Sure, ok."

"Thanks, I'll be up back in a few minutes with my coffee. If you need to use the bathroom its through there, and there's plenty of fresh towels and a robe if you want to have a shower."

"I'll be fine, but I do need to make a heap of calls, to let people know that Dad is dead."

"Ok and I can help you organise a funeral if you want."

"You know, that would be great, because at the moment I don't know what the hell I'm doing!"

"Don't worry; we'll work it out together! I'll be back in a moment."

I pulled myself out of bed, went to the bathroom and ended up looking at myself in the mirror.

My Dad Charlie had died.

I was alone and I was about to embark on a journey to say goodbye to him, and let him go.

On top of that I was going to start a scary, new process of making a baby.

I found my bag and got my phone out.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

Please God, please let this conversation be calm!

It rang until it went to voice mail.

"Hi Renee, I'm ringing to tell you Dad is dead. I'll let you know when the funeral is being held. Bye."

Oh well, at least I didn't need to hear her unwanted, catty opinions about what a bad man Charlie was, and how he stifled her creative impulses and freewheeling spending habits.

I really hope she doesn't come to the funeral. My guess is that she won't. She has always hated Forks, its small population and its dreary, grey skies.

"Bella, I've found the number for the funeral director." Esme put a business card in my hand.

"Thanks." I looked at the card.

"Esme, what's the procedure? I've never had to organise anything like this."

"I'd start by giving the funeral director a call, they will collect Charlie's body. Then you have a meeting with them, to decide what sort of funeral you would like."

"Oh, ok."

I dialed the number and a familiar, sharp, nasally voice answered.

"Forks Funerals, Lauren speaking."

"Hi Lauren its Bella Swan here."

"Oh, Bella...Bella Swan...didn't you go live in California? Why are you back here? What do you want?"

I couldn't believe Lauren was still such an ill-mannered, snooty piece of white trash.

Some things in Forks never change.

I took a deep breath and calmly spoke.

"My dad, Charlie Swan is dead and I need to speak to the funeral director."

"Oh...ohmygod, ok, just one moment." I heard her drop the phone and start screeching, "Jason! Pick up the phone! There's a fresh one!"

I seethed, who the hell did Lauren think she was?....damn nasty bitch...A FRESH ONE!

"Hello, Jason Jackson here."

"Mr. Jackson, I need to arrange a funeral for my father Charlie Swan. He's just died and I need your assistance. Oh and by the way, I recommend that you seriously think about getting someone else more professional, to answer your calls in the future. Lauren just doesn't present a very good image of your business; in fact, I'm pretty sure that if I didn't want to settle this so quickly, I would be giving your competitors my business." I snapped.

Wow, who was this assertive, angry Bella?

...

I sat blinking, focused on the cup of insipid, luke-warm tea, I held in my lap.

Just about the whole of Forks had turned out to be at Charlie's funeral. There were quite a few members of the La Push reservation in attendance too.

I was lucky that no one expected me to speak.

I was beyond words, too tired and emotional to make sense of the worst week of my life.

The one thing I was grateful for was that for once in his life, Charlie had planned ahead and pre-paid his own funeral.

I didn't have to organise or chose anything, he had already done all the choosing of caskets, sermons, bible readings and even right down to the music, twenty years previously. So there was a lot of old seventies hits played...I know weird, but there you have it! It was exactly what he wanted in the end.

It was strange, but I was glad it was something I could leave to other people to worry about.

Especially the very contrite Jason Jackson, who I had found out, had grown a backbone and fired Lauren on the spot, right after my call.

Charlie had even had paid for a plot and a minister to say all of the words I couldn't speak.

I sat and looked at my tea. It was now as stone cold.

Another person came up, to express their sadness.

I wasn't paying much attention, until I heard his voice.

Boy, Jake had grown! He was just about touching the ceiling with his head!

"Bella?"

"Jake? You are ...what seven foot now? I remember when you were smaller than me."

"Yeah, that's when I was six months old and couldn't stand up yet."

"Mmm, yeah."

"I'm sorry about Charlie."

I nodded what more could I add to that?... Oh wait! I did know what I wanted to say after all.

"His last moments, before he slipped into a self-induced coma, were of you Jake."

"What do you mean?"

"Let's just say...his lips were around your last ...uh...'present' and he made sure to drink it all down."

"Oh..."

"Yes, you know what I'm talking about. Now if you don't mind, I have to go to the ladies room."

"Bella...I'm really sorry, I didn't know he was going to do that."

"Yeah we'll, most of us don't take the time to think about the consequences of our actions. If I could give you one piece of advice, stop producing that nasty rocket fuel, and find something more productive to do with your life, before any other people get injured and die." I hissed quietly.

I turned towards the ladies loo.

At least I could shut myself in and not talk to another soul for a few minutes.

I just let myself sit in the toilet cubicle for twenty minutes, trying to focus and calm my breathing.

I don't know where the 'sweet, old, doormat Bella' went, but boy I think she just disappeared in a puff of smoke, and some strong, snarky woman had taken her place!

First Lauren and now Jake. I wonder who would be feeling my wrathful words next?

Once this funeral was over, the Cullens and I could get on with signing the surrogacy contract, start the monitoring of my cycle and the whole sperm, insemination procedure.

I shook my head; it was kind of a challenge to me, to see if I could really do this.

Me Bella Swan, voted the most likely to 'forever remain a plain, spinster virgin', by my high school nemesis Jessica, was embarking on a most intimate and scary challenge. I would be attempting to grow a baby in my womb, for a childless couple who were two of the kindest souls I had ever met.

Esme had been beside me through the funeral, and had arranged all of the refreshments.

Carlisle even asked me if I wanted to postpone the surrogacy process, until another time.

But I was determined.

My life was going to have a greater purpose now, and I was going to clean up all the mess left behind. The debts, the house, my study and career and focus on myself for a change.

I left the ladies room, only to run right into Jake again.

"Hey Bella, I was wondering if you want to go out sometime?"

Was he nuts? Didn't he get that I was angry that his homemade hooch was one of the reasons my Dad had died?

"No Jake. I'm not interested."

"Oh maybe another time then?"

"No, I don't think so. Goodbye Jake."

Wow, that was weird!

"Hi Bella, want a hand cleaning up all the cups and plates?"

I shrugged; Mike Newton was trying to be nice I guess.

"So uhh, Bella, are you planning to leave Forks soon, or are you staying for a while?"

"I'm staying for a while. There's a lot to sort out." I wasn't planning on telling him about my arrangement with the Cullens.

"Ah, yeah well, if you plan to be around Forks a while, maybe we could hangout and go see a movie, or go out for a meal together?"

"No thanks Mike, I don't date."

"Are you sure? I could be your friend?"

"Thanks Mike, but you know...I could have really used your support and friendship when I was a kid... and you stood by and happily watched me get bullied every day by your girlfriend Jessica and her evil friend Lauren."

"But...Bella."

"Goodbye Mike."

I turned away from him and walked over to Esme and Carlisle.

"I'm heading home. I'll catch up with you guys tomorrow morning when we sign the..."I looked around to make sure no one else was listening..."paperwork, and we can pick up the supplies for the ...process, ok?"

They smiled and nodded. Not wanting to let all the nosy busy bodies listen into our conversation. It was going to be tricky enough with all of the small town eyes watching and gossiping.

"Esme thanks for all the great help, I really couldn't have gotten through this week without you. Thanks both of you."

I looked around my empty house. It was in a shambles, since I hadn't been able to get stuck into any cleaning and sorting in the last few weeks.

I pulled off my good black dress, tights, jacket and shoes. I threw my hair up into a messy bun and pulled on my oldest sweats and grottiest long sleeved tee-shirt.

I turned up my favourite cleaning music and looked around.

I decided to start on the kitchen; it hadn't been scrubbed in ages.

I pulled the garbage bin over to the fridge, and started throwing all of the half eaten leftovers, and mouldy bits of cheese, fruit and bread which I found in there.

I pulled the shelves out, wiped and replaced them.

Nice...Empty but beautifully, squeaky clean.

The freezer section was next. I couldn't believe the amount of frozen casseroles and lasagnes stuck in there!

Dad had never eaten any of my lovingly, pre-prepared meals. I wanted to scream or throw something.

Dad had just gone off to the diner for hot meals, instead of reheating my cooking.

Did he even care?

I looked at the freezer, and decided to take action.

I prized all of the food out of the heavy build up of ice crystals and cleaned out the whole freezer section.

Did I want to keep any of my own cooking? Hmm, I had a hankering for lasagne. I turned on the oven and put one of the foil covered dishes in to heat up. It would be ready in a couple of hours, and I could put my feet up and eat something nice.

I placed back two other casseroles and put the rest in the sink to defrost and throw out the contents.

What a waste!

I huffed and then turned towards the cupboards.

I found some more old bills, papers and photos stuck in a high cupboard; they went onto the dining table for later perusal.

Most of the cupboards came up ok, some of the doors needed fixing as the hinges were old and wonky. I pulled out the lining on all of the shelves and scrubbed down the timber underneath.

I found some cockroach baits and mousetraps that were as old as me, and threw them away.

I swept and mopped and stood back to view my handiwork.

I felt a little lighter.

If I ended up keeping this place, I wanted to make some changes.

Maybe I could put in a whole, new kitchen and an extension out the back, to pick up the morning sun. I'd like a nice, light-filled room with lots of windows and somewhere to lounge around in lovely warmth.

Who was I kidding? It's never really warm here in Forks. A sun-room would be a waste, as it's hardly ever sunny here!

I don't know, maybe I should sell it and get what I can for it?

Or maybe I could rent it out? I probably had a better chance of getting a fair return for the house over a longer period. The sales market for houses in Forks wasn't so great at the moment.

If I wanted to have a nice place to be pregnant in, I could make this place all mine for the duration. It might be nice do some small upgrades to smarten it up and make it more comfortable and homely.

I went upstairs and stripped the sheets and blankets off of Dad's bed. I pulled the mattress off and ... Oh great! What do we have here? It looks like I've just discovered the mother lode!

Please let me know what you think of the scary new Bella!