Disclaimer: I don't own Hikaru no Go.
A/N: Just in case I receive complaints about Akira's character… Yes; she is an angst-ridden character. Both Hikaru and Akira should be OOC. Unlike some people, I don't believe that changing someone's past will leave their character unaffected. This chapter is a little different. There's practically no description. It's pretty much written like an angst oneshot. There's a huge change of pace in the middle of it. That is intended. Just to warn you guys, I'll be focusing on Akira for the time being. For now, she has a more complex character than Hikaru. But don't worry Hikaru fans! You'd be surprised how much angst music can inspire me. About half of this chapter was inspired by one song. Besides, there are still the Negative Chapters to look forward to!
CHAPTER FOUR – HIDE
This isn't good.
I received multiple stares as I walked through the halls of my school.
Did this have to get out now?
A few girls approached me and asked for his number.
How in the world would I know?
Instead, I just politely refused their request, saying I had a matter to attend to.
"Touya-san!" His voice called my name. His voice… I really didn't want to talk to him now.
"What is it?" And yet I still responded. Perhaps I knew my non-existent popularity would go even further down if I ignored him, or maybe it was just common courtesy. But I responded.
"Can you get me some water?" Of course, after his fainting episode, I had to dote upon his every need. When we were at school, no matter how much I tried to hide my connection to him, it was known by the whole school by lunch. Even worse, the airhead, yet popular, girls at my school proclaimed that Hikaru's looks overruled any other's in the area. Thus, not only did he not have to do anything, but the selfish bastard even got used to being given everything he needed.
And so, with this new request on top of numerous others, I snapped.
"Go get is yourself, you shit-ass bastard." I didn't make a scene like many would when they finally lost their temper, but I certainly put all my malice into my words. I brushed past him, ignoring his presence. However, I quickly discovered Shindo Hikaru was not an easy person to get rid of. He tried pushing through the crowd, and matched my pace. It wasn't particularly hard, I realized. Since it was obvious I definitely couldn't run very quickly in my attire.
"Touya-san! Wait, Touya-san!" He was held up by the constant stream of schoolmates, obviously trying to appeal to him.
Good.
Immediately, I felt guilty. I had never known the sensation of popularity, so I couldn't really understand the feeling of having to try to push through the throng of students that gathered.
But this is just ridiculous!
Finally, we reached an open area. Unfortunately for me, I found nowhere to run (or speed walk). Not wanting to appear to be a lost lamb to the school, I turned to confront who I now deemed an enemy.
"Touya-san, can we please talk this out?"
Stop making this situation seem like a cliché romance.
"I'm really sorry for asking you to do all this."
I'm sure you are.
"It's just that it is a little hard to get a drink of water without a few students following me."
So?
"Erm… well, maybe we could just start over and try to be friends?" I saw a camera flash out of the corner of my eye.
They better not spread another rumor.
"I believe it'd be best not to be in contact more than we have to be." I said, unfeeling as I strode past his shocked figure. Once I escaped the confines of the hallways and classrooms, I ran. I ran around the track until my legs became sore. And then I jumped over the fence barricading us from the outside world. All schools were the same. They didn't let you escape reality. They forced you to. I didn't want to escape. I wanted the harsh, cold bitterness that was the real world. I wanted the pain. I needed it. I needed to know I was alive. I needed to know who I was.
I received no results. No answers, no merciless, crushing defeat at the hands of someone far superior to me. Perhaps that's why I played Go so much. No one felt pity for their opponent. They delivered you blow after blow, until you had nothing left, until you were left on the ground, soaked in your own blood.
I relished the taste of it on my tongue.
No matter how much my thoughts resembled those of one, I knew I wasn't a masochist. I knew there was a logical explanation. I knew the exact details of it. And I forced myself to bury it deep within my mind.
My legs felt numb. I was the target of even more stares.
I can't stay here. I need to get away. I need to…
Still, I kept running. My breaths became short, heavy. My throat… I couldn't even feel it anymore. I felt no pain. I kept moving my legs at a steady pace. One, two, one, two. Right, left, right, left. White, black, white, black.
Grey.
I finally stopped and took a look at my surroundings. A worn-out slide, squeaky bars, a lightly colored swing… there was no doubt.
This is…
"Akira-Nii-chan!"
"Did you fall off the swing, Amaya?"
"Amaya, don't run so fast. I can't keep up."
"You're so athletic compared to me, Amaya!"
"Akira-Nii-chan!"
"Touya-san? Touya-san!" I was snapped from my stupor by a much too familiar voice. However, I refused to respond. I was distracted by the trails of liquid on my cheeks. My vision was becoming blurry. I held up a hand to them and wiped my eye.
"Tears?" I muttered, almost incomprehensibly.
I'm crying?
"Touya-san, are you alright?" I shook my head, not completely registering what I was doing or what I was saying. My whole body felt numb; it was as if I had lost all feeling. But the tears continued to pour out.
Why am I crying?
"Shindo… why are you here?" My voice was still stifled. I couldn't talk with my usual briskness and clearness. I had no idea what Shindo was doing, but had guessed he sat beside me on the park bench.
I haven't cried like this before.
"I was searching for you. You're parents are worried. You've been out here for a few hours after school."
That long?
"What are you doing way out here?"
"I don't know…"
Is that my voice?
Silence ensued. I was perfectly fine with the noiseless atmosphere. But perhaps it was because I wasn't fully conscious; for Hikaru soon decided it was too awkward and suggested we call my parents to tell them he found me.
"No. I don't want to go. I don't want to leave!"
Why am I so frantic?
"I can't go! I need to stay!" My voice elevated to a scream, and I could faintly hear Hikaru trying to placate me. I kneeled on the ground, unaware of my surroundings.
"Touya-san, calm down!" Hikaru grabbed my shoulders, slightly shaking me back to reality. "You can stay here, okay?"
No, that's not true.
"You don't have to go back."
That's not true; I eventually will.
"You can stay here as long as you like."
Why are you lying to me?
I nodded and drowsily laid my head on his lap.
"There, now, just close your eyes and relax."
This isn't like you.
"Do you feel better?" I nodded robotically.
But even if you're lying to me…
"You'll be fine."
Thank you.
He gently lowered his warm hand onto my head as I closed my eyes. I could hear his rhythmic breathing, and it lead me deeper and deeper into sleep. Haah…
Haah…
Haah…
One…
Two…
One…
Two…
White…
Black…
White…
Black…
Grey.
This isn't good.
A/N: Yeah...this story is getting farther and farther away from the original... Ah well, I think a good, dramatic story should be added to every category anyways. It gives a nice change of pace.
So now a slightly psychotic Akira is introduced! I've revealed quite a few details about Akira's predicament in this chapter, and will be doing so throughout the story until the Negative Chapters. If you can guess the story so far (In this chapter, you must deduct what Akira's broken flashback reveals), I'll be giving the first one to guess correctly a quote from the Negative Chapters that also pertains to Akira's past. In this way, it's sort of like the Project Runway system. You win: you get an advantage the next round.
About Hikaru's behavior, just remember that they're not the only two in the park...