Half the day had gone by, and Starbug had yet to arrive. Cat barely noticed and hardly cared. He had the ship to himself, more or less, with nobody to bother him. He made sure to sleep in both the monkeys' beds, and had his dinner in Rimmer's bed, so he could use his sheets to wipe his mouth with. He also practiced his courting yowls, not because he still believed there might be a girl cat on board, but because he liked the sound of his own voice.

"Heeeeyyy!" he cried, as he jived into the science room. "Aaaaooowww! Hi Head, how's it going?"

Holly blinked. "I'm great. Better than great, really. After all, I did bring Red Dwarf past five black holes. I should probably get a medal for that, or a certificate. I'd settle for a pat on the back, except I haven't got one. By the way, you wouldn't happen to feel like going outside and giving the scanner-scope glass a little wipe, would you?"

"Nope," Cat returned pleasantly.

"You never know, a bit of grit on the scanner-scope could be mistaken for any old thing. A huge vicious space monster, a giant asteroid rushing straight for you, the face of the Madonna, even a black hole or three. Or more."

"Any sign of the monkeys?"

"Still none. Missing them?"

"No way, Goldy Locks. I wanted to catch a mouse and leave it on somebody's pillow before they get here."

"Are you sure they'd like that?"

"Why not? They make a great midnight snack." Cat produced a pole with a small net at the end from inside his coat and padded out into the hallways, calling, "Heeeeere, mousey mousey mousey!"

Twenty-four hours had passed since Blue Midget met back up with Red Dwarf, and twenty-four hours had passed without Starbug doing the same. Kryten was becoming seriously worried. He paced the science room while Holly, at his request, attempted to get in communication with them. All she was bringing up was static.

"It might not be anything to worry about," she told him. "It could just be solar flares, or it could be they forgot to turn the receiver on."

"But what could be taking them so long?" Kryten fretted.

"Maybe they were suckered into one of those roadside attractions. You know, buy some homemade jam, see the world's biggest cucumber, have a look at our three-headed beaver, that kind of thing." Holly suggested.

"Maybe we should go and look for them." After all, Lister and the Cat had come looking for him and Rimmer when they'd been sucked up by a time hole. He wasn't against returning the favor, but he didn't feel he had the authority to go gallivanting off on his own. "I'll ask the Cat and see what he thinks."

Asking the Cat involved finding him first, often a tricky task, as he was given to wandering off on his own, and you never knew where he'd turn up. Kryten checked Lister and Rimmer's room, the cafeteria, the bar, and the storage areas before happening upon him in the recreation lounge. The Cat was busy snoozing on a pool table, curled around his mousing net after a fruitless hunt. Most of his mouse hunts were turning up empty, mostly due to the fact that he'd get bored of doing it after five minutes.

"You'd better have a good reason for waking me up, bud," Cat said, without bothering to open his eyes.

"Sir, Mr. Rimmer and Mr. Lister have been missing for an awfully long time."

"So what?"

"Why, something terrible might have happened to them. Hadn't we better go looking for them?" Kryten asked.

Cat propped himself up on an elbow. "What, squeeze myself, my full-length dress mirrors, and my three racks of suits back inside the Midget-mobile? I only just got all that stuff out. No thanks, buddy. Let those monkeys find their own way back."

Kryten threw his hands up. "What self-centeredness! They might in danger. They could be stranded, or injured, or worse."

Cat began rolling one of the billiard balls back and forth between his hands. "They might be, but I'm not. See, that's monkeys stuff, and they're all crazy. If one of them's in trouble, suddenly all the rest of them have to get worked up, too. Buddy, if it's not my problem, you're on your own."

"But don't you care about them, sir?"

"I care lots. I care if they feed me, and if they pay attention to me. That doesn't mean I want to go all saint bernard search-and-rescue on them."

"But what if they never come back?" Kryten admonished. "Sir, could you honestly live with yourself, knowing that they might have perished, when you could have done something about it?"

Cat batted the ball into the closest pocket. "Sure I could! Hey, I got along great before they showed up, I don't see why I can't do it again." He swung his legs over the side of the pool table. "It's been great talking to you, bud, but I've gotta go check out their room and see if there's any stuff I want to take. You're welcome to whatever I don't want."

A day later, Cat sat at the table in Lister and Rimmer's room, with a monocle in one eye and a false handlebar mustache stuck on his lip. A grisly murder had been committed, and it was up to him to solve the mystery. He was reviewing all the evidence laid before him, preparing to give his conclusion. "I say Mrs. White did it in the ballroom with the lead pipe!"

Silence met his pronouncement. He checked the other players' cards and found that somebody else was in possession of the lead pipe. Quickly, Cat doffed his Colonel Mustard 'tache and monocle in favor of a bright blue hat with a peacock feather stuck in it. He moved his chair to the other side of the table, rolled the dice, and moved the Mrs. Peacock piece into the next room on the board. "Well, I suggest that Professor Plum did it in the library with the revolver," he declared in wavery falsetto.

Cat shed the hat and moved the chair again, sitting heavily down in it. Clue was no fun when you played it by yourself. He frowned at the frilly white apron that was for Mrs. White. Usually he could get Kryten to play her, but the mechanoid was too busy wondering where the monkeys had gone, a situation that had snapped up his other Clue-playing companion. Lister could do a mean Professor Plum. And then there was Rimmer, who refused to play with them at all most of the time, and who certainly wouldn't do it in costume. He'd usually sit back and make snide remarks, to which Cat and the others could reply in similar insulting fashion. That was always good fun in and of itself.

"Well, they're not back yet, and I'm not gonna be the one to go get them," he said aloud. "I've got lots of things I can do by myself." Cat tried thinking of the ways he used to keep himself entertained before he met the monkeys. He could work on his suits, but he'd already done that today. He could go investigating, but he'd already done that, too. He could go chase his own shadow, an activity that used to keep him amused for hours on end, but now seemed too simplistic.

He was beginning to get annoyed with himself. It was clear he'd been spending way too much time with these monkeys. Maybe it was a good thing they'd gotten lost. He needed a vacation from them, time to himself to get back to his roots, but somehow his roots didn't seem as great as they used to. Cat looked over at the beds, where he'd left a dead mouse on Rimmer's pillow. It wasn't much fun without Goal Post Head around to flip out over it. Maybe he would have to go get them after all.

Kryten hauled the last box of medical supplies up the loading ramp and into Blue Midget. Two days' absence was far too long for his software to cope with, and he finally made up his mind to go look for Starbug on his own. He wasn't at all sure he could do it, but he knew he had to try. He was about to go back out to bring his cleaning supplies on board, but he found himself with an arm-full of mirror as he tried to go through the door.

"Hey, buddy, can you get that and the other ten mirrors in there? I need to bring my suits around!" Cat called.

Kryten wrangled the full-length mirror aside and stared at Cat in astonishment. "Sir? Didn't you say that you didn't want to come?"

Cat passed the next mirror along to him. "Well, if those monkeys are too stupid to find their way here by now, they're going to need someone smart and handsome to do it for them."

"I thought you didn't care what happened to them?"

"I'm not doing it for them, Half-chewed Lollipop Head! Those are my monkeys, and I don't like my stuff getting lost. Oh yeah, don't forget, I have three duffel bags full of beauty supplies you'll need to bring up, too. Get a move on, bud!"