Everything was perfect. I saw Dan everyday. We hugged, kissed. All the things that couples do. He was amazing. Perfect. The, well, best boyfriend ever. He had told me not to talk about him with mum because she would want to split us up if she found out. So I didn't. I didn't really talk to anyone. Not mum, not dad, not even Chris, even though I didn't talk to him much anyway.
No one
But Dan
We would just sit in my room, his arms around me as we watched the world go by.
************************************************** *******************
"Hey, Dan? Did you hear there's gonna be a Christmas disco at school, just before Christmas break?"
He smiled at me, softly placing a small kiss to my forehead. "Yeah, I heard about it. Do you want to go?"
"I don't know…maybe. I've never been to one before so... But, if you would with me, Id go"
I looked into his eyes, giving him my sweetest smile I could. He chuckled and placed a gentle kiss on my lips.
"Sure I'll go with you. What are you gonna wear?"
I thought for a moment. What were you supposed to wear? I had a suit. That would do, wouldn't it?
"I guess I'll wear that suit mum got me for the family part last Christmas" I bit my lip lightly "I've grown a bit since then…but it should still fit"
"And you've put on weight"
I was a little taken aback by Dan's words. He head never said anything about my weight before. I was fairly slim, okay looking…wasn't I?
"Have I?" I asked in a small voice, not really wanting to hear the answer.
"Yeah, loads. I was going to say something while you were shoving that burger down your throat today" he just shrugged, acting like it was the most casual thing in the world. "You need to watch it"
"Really…" I replied, feeling rather hurt by his words "I've…not noticed"
I got up from my bed, making my way over to the mirror. I stared at my reflection, trying to flatten my stomach down as much as I could. Was I really fat? I must be. Dan would never ever say anything to hurt me. He must just be concerned. It's probably one of those things were you can't see it yourself but everyone else can.
"I think you should watch what you eat. Your mum feeds you so much it's not necessary. You'll just keep getting fatter and fatter"
His words were beginning to physically hurt me. He had to be telling the truth though. Why would he lie? He loved me. He wouldn't deliberately hurt me like this.
"You say it like…it's a disease or something…I mean…would it be that bad if I put on a bit of weight?"
I felt Dan's arms wrap around my waist. His warm breath in my ear. I smiled softly to myself, looking at our reflection in the mirror. I guess I was kinda podgy compared to him.
He looked so amazing in his black skinny jeans and t-shirt. So slim and just…I don't even know. He just looked amazing
"You'll look better if you lose some weight, that's all" he whispered softly in my ear. See, he was just trying to look out for me.
He does love me….I think
I turned around in his arms, draping my arms over his shoulders as I bit my lip. I looked into his deep brown eyes, trying to read his expression.
"Do you…do you not like the way I look?"
He gently caressed my cheek, flashing me a small smile. "Silly Philly" he said, attempting to mimic they way I had called him silly several weeks ago. "I love you the way you are…It's just that"
he sighed
"I heard some of the guys talking about how you were getting kinda fat" he added, moving his hand from my cheek to my hair. He gently ran his fingers through my hair, giving me small reassuring smile
"You know I just want to help you fit in"
I nodded, smiling softly back at him. Of course. He was just trying to help. How could I have ever doubted him.
He loved me
I loved him
So then why, did I have a bad feeling about this?