Now you want to take me down
As if I even care
I am the monster in your head
And I thought you'd learn by now
It seems you haven't yet
I am the venom in your skin
And now your life
Is broken

After the lights go out on you
After your worthless life is through
I will remember how you scream
I can't afford to care
I can't afford to care

~Lights Out

I Will Not Bow

Chapter Three: Travels with a Devil

Lisa's own voice woke her.

"For the first couple hours of the flight, after he told me who, what, he was, I was frightened. I was scared out of my mind. Everything from the attack before came rushing back."

Her brow furrowed. Did she have a meeting with Dr. Benson? She must be if she was talking about the flight.

Wait. Wasn't she supposed to be home? She was going home today.

"After the attack in the airplane bathroom, I told myself that I wasn't going to allow him to torment me anymore. I stole the kid's pen on a whim. It was the first thing that I saw that I could have used as a weapon. I couldn't let him make me feel so powerless anymore."

Why did she feel like she was moving? This didn't feel like her bed at the hospital.

Lisa's eyes opened a crack. It was dark. Every once and awhile a flash of light would illuminate her surroundings. She glanced around. She was lying on the back seat of a car, her back resting against the seat, her head cushioned on the crook of her arms. Which were bound. Why were her arms tied up? Her eyebrows furrowed.

Lisa struggled to move her legs, but found that they too were bound. What was going on? Where was she? Why the hell did her head hurt so much?

Lisa felt the tension building in her body as light after light began to illuminate the driver in front of her. Longish brown hair, strong jaw and . . .

Lisa bit back the scream that built in her throat. This couldn't be right. This wasn't possible. Panic bubbled in her chest. This can't be happening. It isn't possible, she repeated in her mind. She had to get away. She had to escape.

Moving as quietly as she could to not let him know she was awake, Lisa rolled over onto her back. She tried to keep her mind clear, tried to keep the panic from invading her thoughts and making her useless.

She was only going to have one shot at this. If she screwed this up, there would be no chance for her. She would probably never be seen again. Her body would probably never be found. No one would ever know what happened to her. Tears sprung to her eyes as she realized that she might not ever see her father again.

Lisa inhaled sharply and shook her head to clear her mind. There was no use allowing panic to set in. Fear would only make her lose focus. She had spent the better part of two years learning to accept her fear. She couldn't allow it to make her lose focus.

Lisa kicked out. Her legs, landing lower than her intended target, slammed into his right shoulder. If anything, he would have a massive bruise in the morning. The car skidded across the road, going out of control.

"Son of a bitch!"

He pulled on the steering wheel, bringing the car back into the correct lane with his left hand while fending off her still kicking feet with his right. Lisa's feet fell between the seats. She scooted up in the back seat, attempting to lunge at the back of his head.

She caught his gaze in the mirror, his blue eyes meeting hers for a brief moment. She watched as anger filtered over his gaze. He slammed on the gas, forcing her back onto the seat and with one last vicious jerk of the wheel, threw her to the side, her head slamming into the rear passenger window.

Lisa felt the car slow to a crawl and then stop altogether. She struggled to sit up, her head pounding. She heard the click of a seat belt and then the front seat slammed back, pinning her legs to the cushion.

She opened her mouth to scream, but found his hand covering her mouth before she could. His left hand found her bound arms, slamming them into the glass above her. Lisa felt the glass crack against her knuckles. His right was still pressed over her mouth, stifling the scream that threatened to pour from her lips.

That was how she found herself pressed under Jackson Rippner, his face hovering above hers, his mouth brushing the knuckles of his hand, one knee beside her legs on the floorboard, one knee resting on the driver's chair.

Tears welled up in her eyes, a weakness that she knew she would be embarrassed about later, as she stared up into his ice blue gaze. She begged him silently to let her go; to just leave her alone. What did he want from her now? Was he here to kill her? To finally finish the job?

Lisa could feel the drum of his heart against her chest; slow and steady. How was it even possible that his heart was beating slower than hers?

She struggled to push him away; tried to jerk her face away but he tightened his grip. Her breathing became ragged as panic set in.

"I need you to calm down," he said, his voice with an edge to it.

Lisa looked up at him as if he were the crazy one. He had already tried to kill her once before and now he had kidnapped her, was driving her to God knows where and had her pinned across the back of the car. And she was supposed to calm down?

"I'm not going to hurt you unless you make me. And if you don't calm down, I might have to."

Lisa stilled. It's not like her struggles were getting her anywhere anyway. She stared up at his shadowy face, fear still in her eyes.

"Are you going to calm down?"

Lisa nodded.

She could feel him relax above her. "Good. If you scream when I remove my hand, I'll knock you out. Do you understand?"

Lisa nodded again.

Slowly, Jackson removed his hand. Instantly blood rushed back into her cheeks. A scream built up in her chest, but she pushed it down. She knew what this man was capable of. What was the one thing he told her so long ago? That he never lied to her.

Could she really hold him to that now?

His face grew contemplative. "I might even toss you in the trunk, but I was trying to be civil."

Lisa snorted despite the terror that flickered through her.

"Now, are you going to calm down and help me instead of trying to harm me?"

Lisa stared up at him wide eyed. "Why should I trust you?" she squeaked.

"I've told you before Leese, I never lied to you," he replied, echoing her own thoughts. "Do you think I'd start now?"

Lisa didn't respond. How would one answer that? After the flight, when he attacked her, she'd seen in him a kind of brutality that she'd only ever seen in one other man.

"How can I trust you?" she finally whispered.

Jackson's lips pursed as he contemplated her question. "You can't. But if I was here to hurt you, don't you think I would have already?"

Lisa opened her mouth to respond but shut it. He had a point. But then, what if he was taking her somewhere to kill her there?

"Where are you taking me?"

Jackson gave a slight shake of his head. "Doesn't matter."

"Will I ever see my father again?"

He smirked. "That depends on if you do what I say. Which, based on your track record, might not be very likely."

Lisa stared up into his shadowy face as bravely as she could. There was a way she could get out of this. There had to be. Maybe if she just distracted him. "What do you want Jackson?"

"Your questions always did get better in the end." His smirk widened. "All I want right now is for you to do what I say. I'll explain everything to you when we get where we're going."

Lisa sighed. "Fine. But can you please untie me? My hands are going numb."

Jackson's eyes narrowed. "I don't think so."

Lisa felt tears well in her eyes again. "Please, Jackson."

He looked down on her for a moment before a bout of laughter burst from his lips. "Oh please, Leese. Don't think I'm going to fall for your pathetic attempts to make me feel sorry for you again. The last time I did, the one time, I wound up with a pen in my neck."

Lisa's eyes flicked down to the base of his throat where just the top of a scar was showing above the collar of his t-shirt. A twinge of guilt edged its way into her chest. She quickly squashed it. He deserved it, she told herself.

Jackson knew where she was looking. His eyes darkened. "Do you want to see it?" he snapped, reaching a finger up to tug at his collar.

Her eyes widened. Her breath caught in her throat as she shook her head. "No."

Jackson leaned into her. Her vision was clouded over by his eyes; her lungs inhaled his scent, a mixture of peppermint and coffee, but wholly him. "What's the matter? Afraid to see your handiwork? Too afraid to see what you did to me?" he sucked his lower lip between his teeth.

"No," she stated again. "No."

He released her arms, his hand going instead to cup the side of her throat. His thumb played with the dip at the bottom of her neck. Lisa gasped as he squeezed gently. Releasing their grip, Jackson's fingers trailed up her skin to grip her cheeks.

"What are you so afraid of, Leese?" he grit out. "What is your problem?"

"Just let me go," she whispered.

He leaned in closer, the tip of his nose touching hers, his lips brushing hers as he spoke. "Oh, I can't do that. Come on, Leese. You know the rules. You do what I say, and you won't get hurt. All you have to do is obey me."

Lisa blinked quickly, trying to once again dispel the tears that threatened to fall. "Fine."

He stared down at her for a moment longer, his eyes boring into hers. And then he was gone. The seat was up a second later, followed by the sound of a car door opening.

Lisa stayed on the seat, confused. What was going on? She sat up quickly when she heard a scuffling outside the door. She looked out of the window when a shadowy form stopped in front of it.

Jackson opened the car door and stood patiently, one hand tucked in his pocket. He stared down at her, his gaze steely. His eyebrows rose after a moment. "Well?"

With one last angry glance up at him, Lisa swung her legs out of the car and began to stand up. Jackson stopped her with a palm to her chest, knocking her back into the seat. The protest died on her lips as he pulled a small switchblade from his pocket.

Jackson knelt down and grabbed hold of her still bare feet. He placed the cold blade against her ankle, causing a shiver to roll through her body. His gaze met hers, a sick smile crossing his lips as he caught the look of fear that flashed across her face. The rope fell from her feet as the blade sliced cleanly through it.

He stood up again and grabbed hold of her arm. He yanked her from the car, pushing down on her head to stop her from bashing her head on the door frame. Thank God for small favors.

Jackson pulled her away from the car as he shut the door. He stepped slightly to the right, his hand reaching for the front door handle. Lisa kicked out with her foot, connecting with his knee. Jackson cursed, his grip loosening. Lisa pivoted on her heel, slamming her elbow into his back. She tore free from his grip as he stumbled and bolted away from him.

Lisa was only a few steps away before he was on her, one arm over her throat, his other hand tangling in her hair, yanking her head back.

"I told you I didn't want to hurt you, Leese, but you never fucking listen. This is what got you into all that trouble two years ago."

Lisa gasped in his hold. He had her pinned to his chest, his heart finally pounding. She kicked out, attempting to hit anything that she could. Jackson dodged her feet easily. Her hands, meanwhile, were occupied with trying to pull his suffocating arm from around her throat. Jackson's breath brushed her ear.

"Now we're going to have to do this the hard way. My life was so much simpler before I met you. No problems, no hang-ups. I got the job done and it was over. You come into my life and fuck everything up. Why can't you ever do anything I say? You're the biggest pain in my ass."

Lisa's fingers clawed at his arm. "Can't. . .breath. . ."

"I save your goddamn life and all I get is a headache from you."

"Jackson . . .please. . ."

"Oh, now you want me to be nice? It's not gonna happen Leese. Right now I don't care whether you live or die. Frankly, my life would be a hundred times easier if you weren't in it."

Lisa struggled to gather air in her lungs, but failed. Darkness was encroaching on her vision.

"What's the matter, Leese? Getting a little hard to breathe? You're struggles are getting weaker." His voice got quieter. "Just like in the plane."

His words faded from her ears as the darkness consumed her. She didn't want to die like this; not here and not by him.

Lisa went slack in Jackson's grip. He shifted his grip from her hair to around her chest. His forearm relaxed around her neck. Her head was resting against his shoulder. Jackson thought about just dragging her back to the car and then thought better of it. It would make too big of a mess in the car.

In one quick movement, he tucked an arm beneath her knees and hoisted her up, bracing one arm behind her back. "You've gotten lighter, Leese," he whispered to her, knowing she wouldn't hear him. "Hospital wasn't feeding you enough?"

Balancing Lisa's limp form between the car and his body, Jackson opened the passenger door. He set her down in the seat, arranging her hands in her lap. He passed the switchblade over the ropes on her wrists, the cord falling away easily. He buckled the seat belt over her and lowered the seat slightly, giving an air that she was simply sleeping to anyone that would bother to look.

Jackson tucked a stray strand of hair away, his fingers staying a beat too long on the tip of her ear. He pulled his hand away, stepping back from the car. With a disdainful glance down at the offending hand, he slammed the door shut and walked around the front of the car.

Lisa woke when the car hit a bump in the road. She gasped, her hands automatically going to her throat from some half remembered dream. It was only when she looked to her left and noticed the man sitting in the driver's seat, his head propped up on his left hand, did she realize that nothing had been a dream.

Her throat burned. The tender skin of her neck hurt when she touched it. "What did you do to me?" she croaked.

Jackson glanced at her from the corner of his eyes. "Nothing more than you deserved, I'm sure."

Lisa coughed. Her throat was scratchy.

Jackson wiped his eyes. He'd been driving all night and dealing with this woman wasn't making him any less exhausted. He squinted against the early morning sun and grabbed the sunglasses from the visor. Lisa coughed again. With a roll of his eyes, he reached down and picked up a water bottle.

Lisa jumped in her seat as his hand drew close. She glanced down at the bottle as if it were going to bite her.

"Relax Leese. It's just water."

Lisa took it, doing her best to not touch any part of his skin. She took a sip and then downed half the bottle after she realized she was massively thirsty. "What did you do to me?" she repeated.

"Tried to strangle you," came Jackson's simple reply. "Damn shame it failed."

Lisa's gaze flickered with fear, the bottle still near her lips. "And last night?"

Jackson glanced at her again. "What about it?"

"What did you do to me?" she asked again.

Jackson sighed. "I drugged you. How else was I supposed to get you out?"

Lisa's eyes squeezed shut. "And how did you get me out?"

"What's with all the fucking questions Leese?"

She kept her eyes closed. "Just please, answer the question."

He sighed again. "Through the front door. The security wasn't very good there, was it?" He snorted. "I was there for three days without them realizing anything. You'd think for a mental institution they'd have better security."

"Three days?"

"Don't sound so shocked, Leese," he replied, his tone condescending. "I followed you for eight weeks without you noticing."

"So it was you."

He smirked. "What? You saw me? I'm surprised you didn't say something." He paused. "Oh, that's right. They thought you were crazy. Letting them know that you were still seeing a figment of your imagination wouldn't help your case, would it?"

"You are such an asshole."

"Probably."

A sudden thought dawned on her. "Wait. When I woke this morning."

"What about it?"

"You were listening to my tapes."

Jackson shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He ran a hand through his hair. It was the same way he acted on the plane when she mentioned Keefe's family. "And if I was?"

"Why would you do that? Those were personal."

"Because I could, Leese."

"That's not an answer."

"Well it's the only one you're going to get. I don't have to explain anything to you."

Lisa had no idea how to answer that. He had violated her thoughts. What more could he do to her?

"You should get some more sleep, Leese," he stated, changing the subject. "We've got a long drive ahead of us."

Lisa turned her attention to the window, watching the scenery fly by. "I think I've slept enough for a lifetime."

"Suit yourself."

The drive was long and silent. They had been driving for hours, stopping two or three times to get gas. When she had complained that she was hungry, Jackson pulled a bag of chips from the back seat, slightly crushed from their scuffle earlier. He gave looks of irritation when she said she had to pee. But he always wound up pulling into some gas station; always claiming that he had to get gas.

Lisa knew he watched her like a hawk until she went through the bathroom door even though he never actually looked in her direction. The glasses hid his eyes, his head always turned just towards the small screen on the pump. But she knew he watched her, knew that he would be on her in a moment if she tried to run.

And yet she just couldn't understand why he gave her the little amount of trust that he did. The Jackson she knew would have followed her to the rest room. Hell, he probably would have followed her in. And something always compelled her to go back to the car. She had no idea where he was taking her, had no idea what she was headed into, but she always went back. Morbid curiosity, perhaps?

Jackson had threatened her to stay in the car when they pulled into the motel parking lot while he disappeared into the office. Lisa's hands itched to reach for the door handle. She wanted to run. She wanted to get away from Jackson. She wanted to run screaming for help.

By the time she worked up her courage to even attempt to flee, the door flew open. "Let's go."

Lisa hesitated, her hands clenching, her eyes staring straight ahead. She'd lost her chance.

Jackson leaned into the door frame. To any outside observer it would look merely like two lovers speaking in soft whispers. That couldn't be any further from the truth. "You're not going to give me any problems, correct?"

Lisa looked up at him with tear stained eyes. "Why should I make anything easier for you?" she choked out.

Jackson stilled for a moment, glancing at the few people in the motel parking lot from over his sunglasses. Finally, he leaned in closer. Lisa couldn't help it as she flinched.

"I told you I didn't want to hurt you," he stated. "Don't make me change my mind. Now get out of the car."

Lisa didn't budge. "First tell me what you did to Haley."

Jackson sighed. "Lisa-" he warned.

She shook her head, trying to muster up the courage to stand up to him. Her hands gripped the sides of the seat. "No. Tell me," she replied, her voice wavering. Lisa thanked whatever god she could that he was wearing sunglasses. She probably would have given in if she had to stare into his sharp eyes.

"I didn't do anything to her," he snapped. "She's fine. I'm sure she woke up this morning with little more than a headache."

"Why?" Lisa squeaked, disbelieving.

Jackson's brow furrowed. "Why what?"

"You didn't kill her?" she whispered.

A bout of laughter burst through his lips. "God no. What do you take me for?"

Lisa stared up at him incredulously. "A murderer. A 'manager'. A kidnapper. An asshole." She paused. "Should I go on?"

The smirk never left Jackson's lips. "I think they should have worked on your multiple personality problem while you were in there. I noticed it on the plane too, Leese. You go through moments of being so strong, so brave, almost a match for me, to a quivering mess of a woman who can't even stand on her own two god damn feet."

Lisa flinched again at his words. They stung despite her trying to brush them off. "Just tell me what you did to Haley."

"Nothing," he stated. "I drugged her. A little bit stronger than I used on you. It was to keep her out of my way. No harm will come to her at all."

"Why?" she whispered again.

Jackson snorted, exasperated. "Why what, Leese?"

"You know what I mean."

"No, I really don't. You'll have to be a little more specific."

"Why didn't you kill her?"

Jackson's hand tightened around the door frame. "You're questions are getting old."

"Then answer them."

Lisa watched as the tension evaporated from his muscles. "There was no point in killing her. That would have left a body trail that I didn't need." He grabbed hold of her arm, pulling her from the car and shutting the door. "Now come on."

Lisa stumbled as Jackson started walking. The car beeped behind them. Lisa shivered as his fingers trailed from the hold around her bicep down the inside of her arm to grip her hand, his fingers lacing through her own. Reflexively her fingers curled around his. He would do anything to pull off the illusion they were nothing but a pair of lovers.

Her gaze shifted to his face. He lips were pressed into a line, his jaw line slightly tensed. He didn't say a word to her, did nothing but led her to a nondescript door with the number nine hanging haphazardly from a single nail.

"Tell me something."

He turned to her after putting the key in the lock. One eyebrow rose. "Hmm?"

"Do you wear those sunglasses to hide the fact that you have no soul?"

A small grin spread across his lips, but he didn't answer. Jackson pushed the door open, the door sticking slightly in the door jamb. "Home sweet home."

AN: I would like to, first and foremost, thank Meaghan for her wonderful beta-ing on this chapter. There were some parts in the original draft that just didn't fit right, so her input greatly helped in getting this chapter finished.

It's a longer chapter than normal, but I felt that everything in it needed to stay. There was a lot to be said and I probably could have made it longer, but I was able to finish what I needed to say. I hope that all of you like it, so let me know what you think! I'll respond to all of the last chapter's reviews when I get home tonight!