Chapter 4

Bonnie doesn't like to tell people about her problems or being taken care of. She's the one who does that for her friends, and when the roles are reversed, it makes her feel awkward. She can't quite find where she fits like she can when one of them is suffering. She doesn't want to see any of them in pain, of course not. But there's a certain satisfaction that comes with being the only person who could make Elena stop focusing on her grief when her parents died and pay attention to trivial things until the pain passed a little, from being the one who Caroline, Matt, Tyler and even Jeremy sometimes came to for advice. She likes to feel needed. You don't abandon someone that feels necessary to your emotional survival. To give the type of advice that guides without controlling, you have to be observant. So, Bonnie has gotten used to watching the people around her, learning their nuances. She knows from the slight narrowing of Elena's eyes when she's hiding something and from the clench of Tyler's jaw if he had a fight with his father.

She watches, so she figures out the basics of the spell fairly quickly on her own. It apparently molds itself to the personality of whoever is supposed to be protecting her at the time, because she only met Lucy once but she knows this isn't what she wanted for her. He's only supposed to be protecting her but somehow he's worked out that that means he needs to be within a forty foot radius of wherever she is. He only stays that far away, because that's as far as she can burst his blood vessels without it being a strain on her, a fact he learned the hard way. He takes advantage of when she is asleep to come closer, though. In the morning, she finds different types of vegetables and fruits on her porch with notes like your blood smelled sweet today, Judgy and you're going to kill yourself on all that fried crap you get at the Grill. They make her shudder but she eats the stuff anyway.

He also doesn't have to listen to every order she gives him. He won't stay away from her because he thinks it's in her best interest for him to stay close. That follows that he knows she's safer with him dead. She'd feel a little bad for him if the truth of it didn't make her want to research ways to permanently disfigure vampires.

It's only been a week since the spell was cast but Damon's change in behavior is affecting everyone else. Elena asks her every day how breaking it is coming along. Alaric even texted her last night to ask if he could help in any way. He must miss his drinking buddy. Stefan doesn't call or text but sometimes when she's eating lunch with Caro at the Grill (where she allows Damon to come within thirty feet so he can sit at the opposite end of the restaurant, she's nice like that), she catches him shooting a pining glance Damon's way. It's worse to her that Damon is listening in on every conversation she has now. A cute boy from class, Chris, offers to go over the midterm review with her. Twenty minutes later, they're not talking about Language Acquisition and are getting to know each other. He's tall and human and looks like Alexander Ludwig with much fuller lips. Caroline is giving her the nod of approval when he goes to the bathroom and doesn't come back. When she looks around the room, Damon catches her eye and gives her an unapologetic shrug. Her fists clench and she decides to leave when she magically upturns her pitcher of water. This is the first time she considers making the trip to see Lucy in person.

xx

Bonnie leaves school and her breath is easy. She actually stops and closes her eyes to savor the moment, breathing in deeply and feeling the Earth's energy cradle her. The light breeze ruffles the hair on her shoulders. The air is light and perfect and she doesn't want to leave this moment, because she does not get to feel like this. Not since before her Grams died which means something must be wrong. Something is off but the tension in her jaw, neck and her hands has eased up and she just wants to be this comfortable for a little while longer. She feels someone enter her peaceful bubble. The energy around her doesn't change or charge; it warms her center and she swears she can smell White Diamonds, her Grams' favorite perfume. She opens her eyes and Chris is there.

"What are you doing?" She shakes her head with a smile.

"Nothing, just enjoying the day. Where'd you go off to last night?" She knows but talking last night was nice; she wants more conversations like that – with normal teenagers who complain about exams and curfews and other human things.

He shrugs. "Home. Your ex-boyfriend," he says the term with a question, "tried to compel me to leave. I figured it'd be more trouble for you if I stayed."

"You know about vampires?" She asks lowly, taking a step forward.

His brows furrow. "Yeah," he nods slowly. She casts a glance around them to make sure no one could be listening in on their conversation. He smiles, watching her. Stefan and Elena are having a tense conversation by one of the lunch tables. She's brushing her hair out of her face and behind her ear when she looks to Bonnie. Tyler throws his and Caroline's backpacks into the backseat before he pulls her by her waist closer for a kiss. The vampires don't have their hearing tuned into this conversation but Bonnie knows Damon must be somewhere listening in. She searches for him and grins when she sees him. Chris follows her gaze. Rebekah has Damon pushed up against a tree in the shadows. His face is pulled in a grimace, his hand and Rebekah's hidden from view between them.

"How long have you known about them?" He asks to bring her focus back to him. Her eyes meet his.

"Not here," she says after a moment. She wants to know what he knows and, more importantly, how. With all of the things that happen in this town, somehow they've managed to keep the willfully ignorant residents unaware of the supernatural craziness that happens here. Everyone is content with believing that animal attacks have simply increased in the past few years and that Animal Control is working on determining a reason for this spike, but Chris is looking at her as if she's silly for not thinking he'd know. "Are you doing anything today?"

He shifts his weight and tilts his head. "Not yet."

"Do you want to come over in a couple of hours?"

He reaches his hand up to her cheek. "Eyelash," he explains softly before rubbing his fingers together to let it be blown away. "See you at six." She takes a breath and nods, watching him walk away. The farther he is, the less she feels light and airy. She frowns.

"He's cute," Elena says coming to her side.

"He knows abou – a lot about language. He's helping me study." It's not completely a lie and she refuses to put words to why she doesn't want to tell Elena that Chris knows about vampires. It isn't her fault innocent people have a habit of dying around her, and Chris is an innocent. She can feel it.

Elena nods, ducks her head and looks at her through lowered lashes. "Listen, Bonnie. I know you're trying as hard as you can to break the spell… it's just that we miss him. Stefan won't admit but he does, and we need him to focus so we can kill Klaus." Bonnie doesn't know how to respond to that because she is doing all she can short of finding Lucy and demanding answers, so she doesn't. Elena pulls her bottom lip into her mouth and Bonnie sighs.

"I want him to stop stalking me as much as you do but there's nothing I can do right now. Lucy's not answering her phone, and I don't know anything about what she used to do the spell. If I try to break it without knowing that, there'll be consequences and we have enough to deal with."

"I know. Like I said, I just -"

"Miss him. Yeah, I know," she says sardonically.

"Bonnie, I," she stumbles.

"Forget it. It's fine," she says quickly. Elena knows it isn't but Bonnie is already waving goodbye and heading to her car.

xx

Chris never shows. She waits for about an hour because they never did set a time and then texts him to ask when he will be by. He doesn't respond and Bonnie knows that she could be completely wrong but that's highly unlikely. Damon always has a way of finding out whatever it is that she wants and making sure she doesn't have it. He does it so effortlessly. It's just a byproduct of all of his actions, but it happens nonetheless. And now he will do it with purpose because this damned spell has his focus more intent on her than it ever has been before. She curses under her breath, grabs her purse and heads over to the Salvatore house.

"Ah, you came," Damon says when he hears her bang the door open. She gives him an aneurysm before he can say anything else and rushes to Chris's side. He's tied up to a chair in chains, like Mason was. There's blood oozing from his nose and a gash in his chest where his heart is. His eye is swollen shut. She holds his face in her hands to perform quick healing spell and jolts away when she feels it – his pain. It twists her insides and she puts a hand to her stomach to stop herself from being sick.

"Oh my God."

"I'll be fine," he grunts against the chains, signaling her to free him. Her hands have moved to his shoulders where the barrier of cloth lessens the crippling energy he's exuding.

"What is wrong with you?"

He lifts and drops his shoulders, brushing the lint from the carpet off his black jeans. "He's not who he says he is." He lifts his bloodied hand. "No heart to pull out. Now," he takes a step closer, "I would say I told you so but you haven't let me anywhere near you in days." His eyes are wild with accusation and Bonnie rolls her eyes. She doesn't want to deal with him. "Don't," Damon warns, zipping to her side and gently pushing her away from him. He looks at her in anger for a moment and then his eyes drop to her lips and fill with something else.

"Don't touch me," she reminds him. He exhales lightly but does as she says, his clean hand hovering a centimeter from the strands of her hair. She rolls her eyes and attempts to move around him when he grabs her and pushes her to the ground. He lets his weight fall on her, and she gasps, struggling against him.

"I've been thinking." He speaks lowly, his voice calm and intimate. She hears the chains clang against each other but her wide eyes can't see anything but the floor and Damon's face inches from her own. She's reminded of when he'd asked for her necklace last year, how afraid she was then and her gaze hardens.

"Get off me," she orders.

"No." She brows lift and she's about to say the spell that will physically remove him when he brings her head up an inch and back on the ground with a thud. She groans in pain, her fists pushing harder against his chest.

"This is what I mean. You're too human, too fragile." He frowns at her. "I can't protect you like this. You're too breakable." He makes his point again by curling his hand in her hair and pulling, making her wince. He caresses her cheek with the back of his other hand. She recoils from him and his eyes tighten. "But I can make you strong." His eyes are pleading, begging her to understand and she does. It didn't take her long to know he would think this but she thought she had a few more weeks at least. He could make her strong, safe from cancer and car accidents, from illnesses. He could turn her into a vampire.

No. She inhales sharply. "Meus industria ferre…" Her spell breaks off when he twists her arm painfully.

"Don't do any spells on me."

Sanguine vasa erupit. She continues to repeat it in her head, focusing through her pain as she's had to do in the past. He's on the ground twitching before she finishes saying it a third time. She takes a deep breath. She feels weak but she can't explain why. It's a spell she's done every day for the past week. Too many times a day now that she thinks about it. She's overusing her magic, and sure enough, when she lifts her hand to her face, there is a trickle of blood coming from her nose. Damn it. She can't do this anymore.

"Bonnie," Chris calls.

Her breathing is heavy; she slaps her hand down against the air. "What are you?"

His light blue eyes pierce hers. "I'm a vampire." She retreats. "I'm not going to hurt you, Bonnie. You know that." She shakes her head at him, her eyes darting to Damon's unconscious form on the floor and back to him.

"How are you a vampire?" She'd touched him. She touches everyone new she meets now specifically because of this. She can't trust anyone, and she doesn't have the luxury of not being on her guard. If she ever lets herself relax, they use that moment of weakness to kidnap her and threaten her to get some spell done. Or try to feed off her if they don't know what she is. She can't afford to be trusting, so she isn't. When she touched him, she didn't get the feeling of death she does when she first touched Damon, or Stefan and Caroline. She'd only been enveloped by this warmth that was altogether different from when she'd grabbed Lucy but told her the same thing – that she could trust him.

Damon stirs. "How about I tell you after you let me go?" She hesitates but breaks the chain with her magic.

"Please don't make me regret this. And I'm not giving you any of my blood to heal."

He chuckles. "I'll heal on my own and then I'll hunt."

She stops with her face close to his and his arm around her shoulders. "Hunt what?"

He laughs and then groans, his hand coming up to his chest. "Not humans, don't worry." The frown keeps her lips downturned but she straightens her knees to help him up. Once he's standing, he drops down and places his hands on Damon's chest. His fingers are clenched on the flesh. If he wasn't a vampire, Damon would have bruises.

"Let's go," she says. He shakes his head, still facing Damon. A second later, she sees it. His face heals, the spilled blood being pulled back into his body where it can be. She walks around them to see his chest, and the wound is stitching itself together there as well. She looks to Damon. His skin is darkening into an ashy blue. "Stop."

He does, his hands on the ground and his lids closed. He shudders despite himself and he looks up at her, his expression fierce. He's standing in the blink of an eye and she stumbles back, suddenly afraid of him. He holds out his hand. "Come on then."

xx

I hope you enjoyed this chapter :)