Chapter 4- Thomas Jefferson
January 12, 2016
A steady beeping fills Thomas' hearing. He can't see, can't feel anything. His eyelids peel themselves open, causing a slight headache.
"Hello?" Thomas chokes out, his voice hoarse from lack of use. His curly-haired doppelganger turns around and breaks into a huge smile, while a young girl with long black hair smiles softly and lets out a breath of relief.
"Thomas, mon ami, we were afraid you weren't going to wake up!" Lafayette says, sitting next to Thomas. Thomas groans and sits up, ignoring the pain in his chest. "Ahh, Thomas, you might want to… lie down, as they say." Lafayette says, pushing Thomas back down.
"H-How long have I been here?" Thomas asks, staring at the ceiling. A girl's voice answers him, wary and cautious.
"Three days, Jefferson. You've been out for two days. Why didn't you tell anybody?" Eliza asks. Thomas feels the tears start to prickle and turns away from his friends. He doesn't want to cry today. He can't cry anymore; his dignity is gone, his home and heart are gone.
"I didn't want anyone to worry about me." Is his toneless reply. Eliza lets out a little scoff and snaps,
"Well, dear, that didn't really work out, did it?" Thomas can hear the venom in her voice, and tries to shut it off. Lafayette quickly hisses something at Eliza that Thomas can't hear. What he does hear is a sharp intake of breath.
"Thomas… you're not going back to James. You're going to stay with me. In my dorm." Lafayette says briskly, and Thomas sits up, surprise evident in his face.
"But I-" Thomas quickly starts to protest, only to let out a gasp of pain at the sight of bandages wrapped around both of his arms and his chest. "What the hell happened to me?" He demands.
"You fainted from blood loss. The doctors said it was a hemorrhage, and that you were lucky to still be alive. You see, Thomas when you cut, you accidentally severed your Ulnar artery. Lafayette gave you a blood transfusion. He was out for a while after that." Eliza explains, and Lafayette gives Thomas a quick but tired smile.
"Why the hell did you do that?" Thomas asks quietly. "I would be better off dead. The world doesn't care about any of us. Every day is another one closer to death. Why the hell did you save me? I'm a piece of shit, Laf. I waste space, I waste people's time, I should just-" Lafayette hisses in anger and grabs Thomas wrist.
"Thomas I swear to God, mon ami, if this is because of James, Je vais tuer James, l'éventreur et t'apporter ses tripes. You are not useless. If James fucking Madison told you that, it is because he is jaloux of you. If you say that one more time, I will-" Lafayette stops ranting when he sees the horrified expression on Thomas' face.
"I am sorry, I should not have said such things to you, mon ami. I am not proving myself to be much better of a meilleur copain to you, am I?" Lafayette smiles apologetically.
"Thomas... are you sure you're okay?" Eliza asks, confused and concerned at the same time, sitting down on the edge of the bed and helping Thomas sit up. "You seemed really withdrawn the last time I saw you." Thomas winces at the sudden movement.
"Yes, Eliza, I am fine." Thomas says, a mechanical tone in his voice. "Don't worry about me." Eliza frowns, not believing it, but withdraws before asking any more questions. The door suddenly opens, and the doctor steps in, looking surprised to see Thomas alive and well.
"Welcome back to the land of the living, Mr Jefferson. You were extremely lucky to have these two close by, especially Ms Schuyler here. She knew enough medical training to very possibly have saved your life." Consulting his clipboard, the doctor continues. "You'll have to stay here for another day or two, just so we can check how your blood vessel and scars are healing." The doctor smiles and says, "I'll leave you guys to it, but I'll be back in a few minutes to take his blood pressure. You'll have to leave then."
"Thank you." Lafayette says, and the doctor shows himself the way out.
Thomas glances around, finally noticing that he is in the ICU. "Eliza, just how serious was this hemorrhage?"
"Class three. You lost 4.5 pints of blood. Required a transfusion, or you could have died. I don't know that the hell James did to you, but it must have been severe." Eliza says, muttering that last sentence. Thomas' eyes harden. He's sick of people asking him how he is and pretending he's a special little angel that needs attention. He just wants to be left alone.
"I'm fine. Honestly, Eliza. Thanks for the concern." Thomas snaps, harsher than he wants. Eliza's face immediately looks taken aback, and Thomas mentally berates himself for sounding mean.
"Sorry, that came out wrong. Thanks for the concern, Eliza." Thomas says, rectifying his mistake. Eliza relaxes slightly, her face twisted into a slight grimace. A voice coughs and Thomas looks towards the door.
"If I may have you two outside. I'll be done in a while." The doctor says, motioning to the door. It isn't really a request. Lafayette and Eliza nod, and quickly exit the room.
"Well, Thomas, how are you feeling?" The doctor asks while checking his vitals on the heart monitor.
"Quite shitty, if you ask me." Thomas says, playing it cool. The doctor walks toward him and drags over a blood pressure machine, a faint smile on his face.
"You could say that." The doctor murmurs. "Thomas… I know you've been abused by someone. I deal specifically with this type of injury and trauma. You need to tell someone what's going on." Quickly, the doctor hooks Thomas up, taking his blood pressure and saying with a satisfied nod, "You're okay, Thomas. In fact, you're healing rather quicker than I imagined. I'll have to change your dressings. I hope you don't mind."
"That's fine." Thomas says, before smiling. "Just so long as you don't try to kill me with those." A vision of James snarling above him holding a belt whips through Thomas' vision, making breathing harder for him and sending his body into short little spasms.
"Are you alright?" The doctor asks, holding new bandages in one hand. Thomas doesn't respond for a while, letting the terror and adrenaline run through his system. A singular tear traces its way down his cheek, but he pulls his demeanor back up and smiles.
"Fine. Why wouldn't I be?" Quickly, he dismisses the image before it can affect him any worse. To be honest, that doesn't really help. The images are there all the time, in every dream, in every waking nightmare.
The doctor doesn't respond, instead walking over and taking off the bandages on Thomas' arms. Thomas, knowing what he did, is not ready, however, for the sight that greets him. There are mangled scars all over his arms, particularly on his wrist and lower arms. Trails of blood still leak from some of the bigger wounds, and Thomas winces at the sight, a sour taste rising in his throat.
"I can see you didn't anticipate this." The doctor says grimly. Thomas nods, too surprised to say anything.
"W-what's your name?" Thomas asks nervously. "I just want to stop calling you 'The doctor' in my head." (I dunno, I think you guys are maybe tired of this already?)
"My name? Oh… Dr Greene." He replies, while slathering Thomas' arms with medical cream and wrapping them up.
"Thank you." Thomas replies softly, now having a name to go with a face. Dr Greene then turns his attention to Thomas' chest, and the Virginian prepares himself for what he might see. James used a knife to cut him several times, as well as a belt. As the doctor removes the bandages from his chest, Thomas gasps. Long, thin scars cover his stomach and chest, particularly on his midriff. Thomas frantically turns around to gaze at the back of his chest to be greeted by a similar sight, only this time wider and more intense scars present themselves in front of him. Thomas starts hyperventilating, never imagining that the damage could get this bad.
"Are you alright?" Dr Greene asks. A small, rough sob tears itself free from Thomas' throat. The doctor leans in and says, "You need to talk to someone who won't give you a hard time. Try that boy that was waiting in here with you. And you need to get treatment for this right away. You can't just sit on this, Thomas. You need to do something about it.
"I'm fine." Thomas says brusquely, brushing away Dr Greene's advice. Thomas' mind runs through all the images of the torture James put him through, sending him into a small panic attack, shuddering and gasping, that he throws off quickly. "I do talk to Lafayette about this, just not too much, as it brings bad memories back." Thomas snaps.
"Alright, Mr Jefferson." Greene says, withdrawing and saying, "Your friends can come back in now. Do you want me to call them?"
"Yes, thank you." Thomas murmurs, and the doctor leaves the room. Thomas lets fresh tears run down his face, but wipes them away the moment he hears the door open.
"Thomas, mon ami, are you okay?" Lafayette asks, as he rushes in. Thomas cracks a small smile, not realising the fragile look in his eyes that he normally keeps under control is showing. Lafayette stops in his tracks, approaching slower and sitting down, asking. "Mon ami, vous avez l'air stressé, c'est le moins qu'on puisse dire." Thomas' brain, however damaged, processes Laf's words and a remote, robotic voice answers,
"I'm fine." Inside, Thomas is a mess, a turmoil of rolling emotions. The voice that forces itself out of his mouth does not sound remotely like his. A flash of red hits his vision, and James is standing above him again, knife in hand, sadistic smile carved onto his face. Terrified, Thomas allows himself to sink into his memories, panting and trembling, giving violent little jolts at times. He doesn't feel himself tearing at his arms, trying to get through the bandages; doesn't notice the bitter, stinging tears flowing down his face.
"Thomas!" Lafayette screams, bringing Thomas back from the void of his memories. The boy shakes himself, realising what happened and what he's done. His face is wet, his arms are bloody from exertion. His chest is aching, and he has a headache.
"What the hell did I do?" Thomas groans, facepalming and instantly regretting it. Flaring pain starts up in his forehead, traveling back to his headache and adding to the pain of the migraine.
"Panic attack. A bad one, from the looks of it." Eliza says, eyes roving up and down Thomas' bruised and bloody body, concern and sadness visible in her dark eyes. "You really should get some rest, Thomas, before something worse happens." Lafayette nods empathetically.
"You'll be out of the hospital in a few days, Thomas, and you're coming to my dorm." Lafayette says, glaring at Thomas. "You are coming to my dorm, and there's nothing you can do about it."
Thomas lets out a small laugh. "You always were the persistent one, Laf." Lafayette breaks into a smile and Eliza into a teary, hiccuping giggle.
"You should stop scaring us like that, Thomas." Eliza says, a wavering note of fear in her voice. Thomas realises that this fear is for him, and not of him, and in that moment, is shocked by the love that Eliza can show even her worst enemy.
"I'll try my best, Eliza." Thomas says, smiling genuinely for the first time in a few months. Eliza hugs Thomas and leaves the room. Lafayette smiles gently and says,
"Stay safe, stay alive, Thomas. Don't do anything you'll regret." Then, with a quick farewell smile and hug, Lafayette gets up and leaves the room as well, leaving Thomas alone with his thoughts.