Teaching Love

Teaching Love

Chapter 4

A/N: hey guys… I'm very sorry for keeping you all waiting so long, but I think I already explained why that is. Busy with the school stuff and all…

I hope you can forgive me? :D

I finally found the time to write this chapter down – Since I'm having flu.. This is my second day at home and I'm BORED TO DEATH. Hee.

Anywaaayyy… here it is; chapter 4!

Enjoy!

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It had been raining ever since. Even the morning after, when I arrived at school.

I wore the scarf Kairi made. It was a little too long, so the long sides floated after me while I made a run from the bus stop to the school entrance. I told myself, as I made my way to the classroom, that I wouldn't care if someone commented on it. No matter how bad it would be. I wouldn't care.

To me, it felt like a good luck charm. For both Kairi and me.

Wait – why for me?

I was right. People did comment about it. Like if my girlfriend made that for me. Then another would laugh loudly and say that wasn't possible whatsoever, since I didn't have a girlfriend and would never get one.

And then, right and there, they started discussing my sad non-existent love-life, and were sure to shout embarrassing questions to me, so everyone could hear.

It was humiliating, but I endured it.

I'm above this, I told myself, ignoring them while clenching my fists tightly; you're above this, Zexion.

The lessons started, and ended. And soon first break came around.

I was a little too eager with escaping from the classroom, and received a few elbows and a push in the side.

That's going to be a bruise… I groaned inside my head.

I grunted, and swung my backpack over both my shoulders while I patiently waited for my fellow classmates to go away. I didn't like to risk more bruises.

Dammit, I hate being small.

As one of the last to exit, I made my way to the stairs near the music room.

Sitting down on the stairs, I gladly ate my lunch as I listened to some kids playing the piano in the music room. I could hear two girls lap and laugh when the one guy performed a groovier version of "Fur Elise".

I suddenly felt tired, so I leaned my back against the waal and closed my eyes, listening to the piano play. I smiled faintly.

I did learn a few facts about classical music. My mother always had been a great fan of Mozart, Beethoven and Debussy.

She often tried to interest me in music, but I never found any instrument she introduced me to was interesting. Nor her taste in music. It just wasn't quite my style. I never bothered to find out what my style was, actually. I was busy worrying about other things…

Mother used to play on our old piano a lot, even though she never took lessons and was kind of tone-deaf, she was overjoyed when she found out a new key or accord that sounded like one of her favourite compositions, it sounded like that to her, at least. She would teach me a few simple songs when I was little, and smiled so happily when we played them together.

She was always smiling…

"Hey, you're looking lively."

I knew that voice. My eyes snapped open and I looked up. His sea-green eyes and his somewhat triumphant smile made my heart purr.

I frowned, and looked away, in an attempt to unwelcome him, but actually embarrassed at what he was doing to my heart. He didn't have to see my face.

"Was that a sarcastic or insulting comment?" I asked with my usual why-don't-you-just-drop-dead-voice.

"Hmm," Mr. Nocturne hummed, and shortly tapped his chin in a rhythmic beat while he furrowed his brows at the wall. "Neither." He finally said, looking down on me like a happy child. I frowned.

Then I looked down and continued to eat my sandwich – ignoring him. Maybe he wasn't as thick-headed as he appeared to be and would get the message.

...

He didn't get the message.

Instead, he sat down a step or two above where I sat, and hummed to himself. My eye twitched in annoyance.

"Why are you here?" He asked all of a sudden, ceasing his annoying humming for an instant.

"You should go to the cafeteria, were all the others are."

I looked at my sandwich, and frowned.

Where the hell is he going at?

I sighed to myself for a bit, closed my eyes for a mere second, and said, without making eye-contact: "No reason."

I turned slightly to look up at him, but hesitated at the last second and my eyes stopped somewhere at his left foot. I refused to look at him.

"And why are you here?" I asked, my voice like velvet "You should be in the teacher's lounge, where all the others are."

I grinned as I saw Mr. Nocturne's dark blue converses shove. Gotcha there.

"No reason." He answered, and I was disappointed to also hear a grin in his voice. My expression became sour.

So he was going to play it this way, hmm?

I turned back to eat my sandwich with more aggression than needed to.

Idiot.

I was mad at him for being here and watching me eat. Why was he really here? To befriend the sad, bullied emo-kid? - That thought made me even angrier.

If that was true, I would punch him in the face for sure.

"I actually can't get along with the other teachers very well." I was surprised to hear his soft voice. I looked over my shoulder at him, and was even more surprised to find him staring at the ground, not meeting my gaze. He looked like he admitted to a crime or something. A faint smile approached his lips.

"I'm just the new guy, you know? I don't like that kind of thing, it's like there's some kind of air around me and everyone is somewhat shying away from me or something." He grinned. "Well, at least for now, I thought I'd first have a better look around this school."

It looked like he wanted to say something else, but he kept silent. I turned back to my sandwich and continued eating, and it was like he didn't said anything at all.

But in fact, I was thinking. I realised he must feel kind of left out. But I also wondered if he didn't just made that up, I mean, it wouldn't be that hard for a person like him to function in a new position – unlike me, he could manage.

Next to that, I also wondered why he always ended up here, if he wanted to 'have a better look around the school'. He probably knew I sat here during lunch break.

So then… why?

Was he trying to befriend me after all?

My mouth became a hard line. I really felt like punching him for that, even though I wasn't sure if that was the case.

Silence still ruled, but now I finally realised Mr. Nocturne was still waiting for my explanation to his former question. After all, he gave me his.

Well he wasn't getting one.

I ate the last of my sandwich, stood up, and swung my backpack over my shoulders.

Mr. Nocturne blinked and looked up at me.

"Hey, where're you going?"

Looking for a new place to sit where you can't find me as easily.

"I got some stuff to do." I lied, walking up the stairs.

"Uhm, hey – "

I tuned his voice out the best I could. Now he was just being pathetic, he couldn't stop me or anything. Even if he was my teacher. I shuddered inwardly.

I was almost all the way –

"Zexion, could you just wait for one freaking second!" He exclaimed.

The piano stopped playing in the other room. My eyes widened with surprise.

Oh god.

I tried to get my face under control and looked over my shoulder at him.

The glance in his eyes was fierce, under his dirtyblonde eyebrows which casted a shadow over his eyes, his mouth being a hard line. He looked… demanding.

I hated that look immediately.

"Whát." I hissed with more irritation than I actually had meant. But that was before I saw his expression.

With three long strides – his legs were damn long – he was at the same heights as me, and got something out of his bag, holding it in front of me. I looked down at it and saw it were three cd's. Then I looked back up at him, my eyes just as hard.

"What am I supposed to do with those?" I asked, my voice coloured with a sarcastic suspicion.

Mr. Nocturne's eyes were very firm. "I want you to take those home and listen to them. Tomorrow, you tell me after class which song and what artist you liked the most."

I frowned at him, doubting his saneness. "And what's the whole point behind this?" I asked, still sarcastic.

"See it as educational homework." He replied in a velvet voice, a sly smile on his face that suddenly gave me a whole other expression of him.

Mr. Nocturne was a teacher.

A goddamn teacher.

I snatched the cd's out of his hands, and narrowed my eyes as I looked at him.

"Fine." I snapped.

"Good." He muttered, bravely looking back, still that irritating smile on his lips.

I got up the stairs and he went down the stairs, and both of our steps suddenly sounded very loud against the quiet background.

When I was way out of his sight, I looked down at the cd's.

...

He really was a teacher after all.

-

- zZzXxXdDd –

-

At the end of the day I was seriously worn out.

I spent the rest of my classes with building up my anger inside, stabbing the paper more than writing on it and making rough sketches of Mr. Nocturne hanging upside-down above a pot with lava.

Yes, I knew it was childish, but I had to do something with that anger, or I would take it all out on Tidus who was throwing paperballs at me again. But I didn't feel like risking detention or, worse, Tidus calling his friends up. Then I would be in serious trouble.

After school, I hurried to the bus stop. When the bus arrived, I suddenly had the urge to throw those stupid cd's in front of the wheels and enjoy watching them being crushed.

I sighed, shaking my head, and got in to pay for my ride.

Soon, I arrived at my house.

I live in a tiny apartment with only two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a living room slash kitchen slash hall.

My father had just enough money to pay for the rent and other stuff, but we barely kept any money for ourselves.

The woman who lived with us was a wretch. All she did was scream at him why he was late again, and that she cleaned the whole house and he didn't even notice, and why his stupid son didn't have a job to help him pay for everything, on which dad would answer:

"I want him to concentrate on his studies. I can handle everything myself. And don't ever again call him stupid. He's brilliant."

Even though I was "brilliant", we would never get enough money for me to go to university.

I would love to help him out - but he simply won't let me.

All my dad did was work his ass off, so he didn't have to think of anything else. There was nothing to ease his pain, not even the few women who came in his life and disappeared just as fast. This women was an exception though.

I was in front of the door, and just opened the door, when I heard glass breaking.

Even though these thick walls, I could still hear that women screaming.

"Can't you see what you're doing? Can't you see? You're destroying yourself, for god's sake! Wake up, you asshole, can't you see?!" that woman was crazy, where'd dad got her?

I sighed, turned the key and prepared for the worst.

The worst usually was about half of what I saw.

Dad sat in a chair, his hands in his hair. On and around the table was a dark liquid, and the strong smell of alcohol wrinkled my nose. Everywhere was glass.

The woman was swinging around a bottle of strong liquor, screaming "Can't you see? Can't you see!" while dad mumbled things that sounded something like "Please… I had a long day… Please…"

I gritted my teeth and went straight to my room. They didn't notice me until I kicked my door close and yelled: "SHUT UP!"

The woman went wild. She screamed all kind of things I never heard before – maybe a different language? Whatever. I was just really glad I got a lock on my door.

I dropped down on my bed and a couple of curses escaped my mouth.

Damn it, I could still hear her screaming.

"Oh, just drop dead." I muttered, crawling up on my bed and facing a light grey wall.

I stared at the wall angrily, accusing it of this horrible day.

I grunted. Damn, I can still hear her screaming.

Suddenly I got an idea. I stood up, and searched around my room. Soon I found it; and old walkman Kairi once brought me for my birthday. I checked if it was still working, and sighed in relief when it seemed to be.

I plopped back down on my bed, kneed down to reach my bag and duck up Mr. Nocturne's cd's.

I grinned at myself. Heh. Seemed this stupid homework came in handy after all.

I chose the one on top of the three, and examined it. The cover was coloured in cyan blue, the same colour as my eyes, kind of. White traces were going through the blue, and together in the middle they formed the word "Afterlife". I guess that's the title. At the very left corner I saw small, black letters saying "the Heartless".

The Heartless? What a dark, sadistic name for a band…

Oh well. I shrugged, put the headphones on, and leaned back on the bed, pressing play.

And I was blasted away.

Holy shit! I shot up wide-eyed, and pressed pause in an instant. I blinked slowly, staring at the discman.

What the hell? Was this even called music?

I frowned when something occurred to me.

Oh wait. Very Funny.

I bet he just did this to annoy me or something.

I bit my lip. God – He couldn't just play around with me like that!

Shit, I won't lose to him like this. Just wait, you'll see.

I pressed play again, and the music continued to blast my ears of. I endured it for a while, until the rough blasts of hard instruments quieted down, and soon I could hear a voice.

A deep, vibrant voice with a strange longing at every sentence he sang. Well, more hummed.

I listened to the lyrics.

"Utter silence…

A fragmented tale…

A world without you…

The eyes will close…"

I heard the rough sound of guitars again, smashing accords into my brain. The brummer seemed to go out of rhythm at every new accord, but somehow managed to keep his beat. I vaguely heard a piano play. Then the voice came back.

"Something so natural…

The memory Beyond –

Something so simple…"

I shivered without knowing why. His deep voice whispered like a bass through my ears. As if he wanted to pass a message. I suddenly remembered Mr. Nocturne's words the first day he came.

"A certain song, or music-style, is a way to express a feeling that people want to pass from one to another."

My put the headphones tighter to my ears.

"A creation born of ignorance…

Behind the darkness –

The door to light…"

The guitars became softer and strummed some last chords. At the end, only the piano and the voice were left.

"Everything is coming back to me –

The true…"

The piano ended somewhere halfway. Then the voice, crackly, but begging, as if breathing out his last breath while trying to reach out to someone.

"He looks just like you…"

Then it was over. I blinked once. Twice. Softened the tight grip on my headphones. I was in my room again.

I slowly sat up, faintly blinking and looking around as if I woke up in an unfamiliar place.

A small black desk with a simple wooden chair were right ahead of me. A dark grey closet on the other side of my door. Clothes and books all over the floor. The bed with grey sheets I sat on.

I looked down and grabbed the CD that was just within my reach. My fingers were jittering, and a strange kind of excitement took me over as I read the back, eager to know the title of the song. I found the number of the track soon enough, and took a closer look at the title, mouthing the words that soundlessly rolled over my lips.

"Another Side, Another Story." I whispered then, and suddenly those words sounded like magic.

After a few minutes of total silence, I noticed something.

It was all silent now. Not only because I wasn't listening to any music now, but I couldn't hear any screaming anymore.

I stood up slowly, a somewhat worried frown on my face as I unlocked my door and peeked into the living room.

The woman was curled up in my dad's lap and she cried.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I really love you, I do. I'm sorry." She said over and over again. Dad seemed totally content, smiling and kissing her forehead and eyes.

I stuck my head back in my room, a crooked smile on my face.

It was late. 23:34 pm already. I changed into my pyjamas and crawled into bed, turning off the light. Then, I changed my mind, turned the light on again, and grabbed my discman.

Putting the headphone on, I turned the light off again.

I fell asleep at the blunt rhythmn the drums made, the guitars jamming, strumming, and smashing into my ears, and the deep, vibrant voice, the heartless caller that pulled at my heartstrings.

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A/N: WOOOW, Zexy discovered the power of music! O.O

Hee, sorry. Just had to say that.

Notes:

1 – I wonder what kind of instrument would go good with Zexion? Hmm, piano, maybe? I do find him a person for the violin or something :D If you take a closer look on him, his music taste would either be classic or hard rock. Hmm, maybe he's more one for the hard rock. Good grief - I'm blabbing too much xD I just happened to listen to Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata o.O I never listen to classic music! Has to be the fever, heehee.

2 – It was fun to use one of Demyx catch phrases "Hey. You're looking lively." I love that one. I use it often though. And I hate Axel for always having all with his "Got it Memorized?" no offence, Axie.

3 – Okay, the song. I bet you guys recognized the lyrics from the Kingdom Hearts 2 trailer? I got the words from it. It would make a cool song, I think.