OoOoOoOoOo!!!! Here is the next chapter! I don't own anything in CI so don't sue me! Thanks to all who R&R.

Being There

"Are you going to write a new letter?"

The sudden noise of him speaking awoke her. Not that she had really been asleep but she had been drifting in and out of conscience. The clock on the wall told her it was half and hour later than when she had started to doze.

"Eames are you going to write another letter?"

'Great they were back to last names. What was he talking about what letter? Surly he didn't mean...did he?'

"Letter? Bobby you don't mean..."

"Asking for a new partner."

'I thought I told him I haven't decided yet weather or not I want a new partner!' Looking over at his face she could see that that really wasn't what was bothering him. 'It isn't the idea of the new letter, it's the last letter.'

"Bobby I'm so sorry I meant what I said that day! I should of told you!"

"I didn't want you to know, but since you're getting a new partner anyways I just wanted to know if their was going to be a new letter that I had to worry about for credibility."

"What didn't you want me to know?"

"How much it hurt. I knew you were sorry so I didn't see how making you feel worse was going to help. But Eames of all the things... I never thought you would be the one who turned their back on me."

"Bobby it was an honest mistake! And I meant everything I said on the stand! You are an effective police officer. You do have a deep understanding of human behaviour! And I was used to working with more conventional detectives!"

"I know Alex."

She still felt horrible but she was at a loss of what to say. Of all the secrets she had carried over the years this was the most shameful one. The one she regretted he most. The one she would do anything to take back. It hit her suddenly what was needed to be said.

"You are and acquired taste...but I've acquired you. And I thank god everyday that I did."

"Alex it's okay you don't have to pretend."

"I'm not. And I won't...Bobby I never told anyone this not even my shrink. But when Sebastian...Jo had me I kept thinking how to get out of it. And when...When she pulled the curtain back and walked toward me I thought 'God no I can't die! I can't I have to tell Bobby I'm sorry for the letter! I have too! Please let me tell him.' I never did tell you after I got out. I was to ashamed. And I needed to feel safe. If you didn't want to talk to me I couldn't feel safe."

"Alex...I didn't know. But Jo is in jail and she won't get out for a long time. I'll make sure of that I promise."

"Even if I'm not your partner anymore?"

"Even then. When you were gone...it was like my world was falling apart! I kept thinking it was Declan and that it was my fault."

"When I tried to get out, the door was blocked. I don't think I have ever felt so helpless as that moment. Even when I was just hanging there I felt more in control than when I realized my only way out was blocked!"

The tears in her eyes were falling faster than ever. Even after all this time she couldn't talk about it without crying. Never had she toled Bobby about it, well their was her police statement but nothing like this. Never what she had felt, never what had gone through her mind in those horrifying moments when death seemed like the most likely option. Now she broke down into uncontrollable sobs.

"I climbed up the wall so I could reach the window. It was still too high and I could only get my hand out. After all that after not letting him...her, know how afraid I was, after getting my self out of that room and finding that window, I started to beg. I begged! 'Help me, help me please, NYPD somebody help me.' This dog came over and I just cried and begged for its owner to help me."

"It's okay Alex" Bobby whispered reaching over to stroke her hand. "It's okay. You did what you had to, to survive."

"I couldn't tell you. I didn't want you to think I was weak."

"I don't. I think you are incredibly strong to have gotten out and to have gotten through it."

They shared a look as she dried her tears. For the first time all night the idea that they might be okay crossed her mind. Maybe just maybe she could keep her partner.

"I was afraid to lose you. When you were with Wizenwsky. I heard you yell my name and then I heard sounds on the other side of the door. I couldn't see what was happening and I was so afraid that I was going to lose you."

"I know you were. I was afraid to lose you too. I had to get you out of the room. When I'd almost lost you before I couldn't handle it. If I had lost you again, I would have gone insane."

"Bobby?"

"Yes?"

She was staring at him with a deep concentration on her face. The truth was the bridges were being built again and the rift didn't' seem quite so big anymore.

"You won't lose me."

"You're staying?"

"I don't know. But whatever happens you can rely on me okay? I promise."

"Thank you Alex."

She still felt bad. She wanted to be able to tell him that things were okay and that she would be there when he was ready to come back. But it was still promising a lie. To be honest she didn't know what to do. All the years had to count for something but it had taken them to the point where they weren't sure if they could trust each other to actually talk about things like shootings and letters, things that were part of their jobs. 'Maybe I got to close and now I'm seeing why partners should never cross that professional line. Maybe we have been together too long and I have to back out now to save what we have left. He would never back out. He is too afraid of hurting me.'

"Do you want more coffee?"

"Sure Bobby, more coffee would be great."

He left and she began to think some more. 'How long would she have until she had to decide? And would she make the right decision when she did?'

One more chapter to go! How will things end!? The next chapter is incredibly short. But hey who cares it is the end so it's allowed to be short! I'm eating cookies and so I'm happy. I guess since I'm almost done this one I should really start another one. Well please R&R! Dudadadadam! The suspense I know it's just going to kill you! Cause know one can ever guess how it will end! lol!