Disclaimer: Neither Jordan nor I own Supernatural.
A/N: Yes, we're slow. Again. But though this could technically be blamed on me, it's not really my fault. I mean, I'm sick. I'm not incredibly fast at writing when I'm sick... especially since my medicine puts me to sleep and so I kept randomly falling asleep and then Jordan would call me and then --
Jordan: Apparently it also makes you ramble more than usual. Anyway, review!
Chapter Four – Misdemeanors and Felonies
"You realize we're supposed to have… like… tons of papers and documents and stuff for this," Lyn said almost absentmindedly as she sat on one of the beds with her chin on her hand, watching Jordan-the-tiger devouring a plate of raw meat.
Sam shrugged from where he sat beside her and said, "Well, then forge them."
"Duh," Dean put in, shrugging, too.
Lyn looked at them both indignantly. "Why do I always have to do the forging and lock-picking and other random, usually illegal things?" she demanded.
"Uh… 'cause… you're better at it than us. You're the geek; I'm the smooth-talking, charisma-ridden one of the bunch," Dean said with a smirk.
"Dude, I already have convictions for aggravated battery and assault with a deadly weapon," Lyn complained. "Those are just misdemeanors. I don't need felonies on my record, too!"
Dean stopped dead in his tracks from where he had been pacing and gave her a look rather like he had just been informed that the moon was, in fact, made of green cheese. Even Sam gave her a surprised sort of sideways look. Lyn just rolled her eyes.
"Oh, come on – like you've never stabbed anybody."
Jordan-the-tiger looked up from her plate, licked a spot of blood off her face, and suddenly charged forward and tackled Dean. He fell to the floor with the tiger on his chest and the wind knocked out of him.
Lyn chuckled. "See, Dean, that's what you get for being a hypocrite."
"And I have more charisma than you do, fool," Jordan growled.
Lyn promptly fell off the bed in shock and landed on the floor with a thud. She didn't bother getting up, just stared at Jordan and Dean and said slowly, "Holy… freaking… crap!"
"Hey, I just talked!" Jordan cried, wide-eyed. "Sweet! … I wonder what else I can do…?"
She twitched what might have been eyebrows if she were currently human at Dean and gave him an alluring sort of come-hither look.
"Okay, that is so Creepsville that it's not even funny," Lyn said, pulling a face and finally getting up off of the floor. "And I grew up with Jay. I don't creep out easily. Freaking quit it, Jordan, seriously!"
Jordan got off of a stunned Dean and jumped around the hotel, knocking a lamp down in the process. "I CAN TALK! THIS IS AWESOME! You have NO idea how frustrating it is not to be able to talk. Ugh, I swear… I mean, being a tiger is awesome, but being a talking tiger!? That's awesomely awesome! YAY!"
"Whoa… my tiger girlfriend just jumped on me… tiger…" Dean stood up and sat on the bed, staring at Jordan.
"Lyn… you all good?" Sam asked, wrinkling his eyebrows and sitting down on the other bed next to Lyn.
"Define 'all good,'" Lyn muttered with a weak smile, trying to ignore the tiger wreaking havoc in the room at large.
Jordan pounced on Lyn and Sam, giggling foolishly. "Can I have some more meat?"
"Ugh… that was painful…" Sam was flat on his back, Lyn on her back on top of him, with Jordan sprawled over top both of them, pinning them both down.
"Not if you freaking kill us, Jordan," Lyn coughed out. "Seriously, extract your claws from my chest before I cut your paws off and don't worry about whether you'll have hands or not when we figure out how to change you back."
Jordan hung her head and got off them, then jumped up on Dean's bed. At first he hesitated, but then laid his hand on her head and scratched her head.
"That feels so awesomely good…" Jordan murmured, and leaned into Dean.
"Right," Lyn said with a sigh, sitting up straight and massaging her collar bone. "I should probably invest in kevlar or something until you figure out that you weigh several times what I do, now, Jordan. And you should probably bear in mind that, if you kill us all, you'll probably wind up either starving to death or getting dissected in some lab somewhere when people find out you can talk…"
Jordan whimpered, "You won't let them take me, will you?" She looked to each of them.
"Oh, yes," Lyn said sarcastically. "That's the entire reason that we broke several state and federal laws to get you back from the whatever-the-crap that turned you into a tiger: so that we could sell you to a lab and make money. Makes perfect sense."
Jordan growled low in her throat and glared at her sister. "Fine… be sarcastic.. remember, I have several knives coming out of my hands… like Wolverine, and I can so hurt you… can I have more meat now?"
Dean rolled his eyes but had a smirk planted on his face. Sam laughed and pulled himself up. Lyn shook her head and retorted, "I know you can, idget. Even though you apparently don't care, you already made me freaking bleed and about crushed my collar bone. And yeah, right – I quake in fear, obviously. But at least now I won't have to keep reminding you not to waltz around unarmed. Maybe we should leave you a tiger, JJ; it might turn out a good thing, after all."
Jordan rolled her tiger eyes and lay down on the bed, her head in Dean's lap.
Dean absentmindedly stroked her head. "You know, what I wanna know is how come she couldn't talk when we first found her, but she can talk now?" He wrinkled his brow and thought for a second.
"Maybe she could but just didn't realize it?" Lyn guessed. "Or maybe the freaky menagerie caretaker is less yankee than y'all and knows about mother-in-law's tongue?"
"She injected us with this stuff every day. Never told us what it was… but always made my throat hurt… and after about 10 minutes after the first shot I couldn't talk. Probably what it was…" Jordan purred and licked Dean's hand.
Dean looked down at her. "It's weird having a tiger as a girlfriend…" He sighed.
"Well, obviously we have to figure out some way to change her back," Lyn said with a deep sigh, closing her eyes and resting her elbows on her knees and chin on her hands. "Urgh… I cannot think without caffeine, dadburn it…"
"Somebody get her some caffeine… please!? I really want to change back into myself some time soon, and I'm really missing some of my female assets…" Jordan harrumphed.
"You're a freaking tiger," Lyn observed, resisting an urge to bang her head against the nearest wall. "Forget female assets – you're missing human assets, Jordan. And who the crap drank the rest of the freaking coffee, anyway, dadgum it!?"
"Oh, my God… Let me out! I gotta pee!" Jordan got up and ran over to the door and jumped up, scratching at the wood.
"Whoa… we can't let her out! We gotta get her a leash and collar and fake papers!" Sam said.
"Come on… she's just gotta go to the bathroom… I'm sure nobody'll notice her," Dean replied.
"Nobody'll notice a freaking TIGER!?" Lyn demanded, whacking Dean upside the head. "Are you out of your godforsaken yankee mind, man!? Yeah, that's it, randomly open the door and let a TIGER go waltzing out onto the street and pretend nothing's unusual at all. You've got to at least hide her or something until I can fix up some documents and murder whoever drank my coffee…"
"I'll get her out there to go to the bathroom somehow… Come on, Jordan… let's get a coat on you."
Dean grabbed a big baggy leather coat and threw it over Jordan. "I wonder how much you weigh…"
"Tigers generally weigh between two hundred fifty and five hundred pounds," Lyn said darkly. "Depending on the species. If I were the betting type, I'd put money on it that she weighs at least three hundred, seeing as she about squashed me a couple of times already…"
"Oh, well, thanks for that, Lyn…" Jordan glared at her.
"I'll try to carry you… but I don't know if I can…" Dean looked apologetic.
"Okay…" Jordan bowed her head in shame.
Dean took a huge breath inwards and picked her up. "Ungh… you weigh… uh… not much, for a tiger?"
Sam opened the door for them and Dean carried her outside to a patch of wood where he promptly put her down and then lay down on the ground, panting.
"Y'know, Sam, I think she's trying to kill your brother," Lyn observed blandly, crossing her arms and blinking after Dean and Jordan-the-tiger's exit. "Or maybe it would be more accurate to say he's actually trying to kill himself… or maybe not trying to… but seriously…"
Shaking her head, she retrieved her laptop and began a search on proper documentation for large, exotic animals.
Sam sighed and looked at Lyn. It seemed weird to him, but the only thing he wanted to do was kiss her… a lot.
"What's the matter?" Lyn murmured almost absentmindedly, still without taking her eyes off the computer screen.
"Nothing, just…" Sam couldn't take it any longer. It'd been such a long day and she looked really… perfect. He abruptly turned the chair she was sitting in around and kissed her.
Lyn was completely taken off guard by the sudden action, but that was only for a moment. Then she forgot about papers for tigers who weren't really tigers and returned the kiss. In the past couple of days, she had been so busy worrying about Jordan that she hadn't paid much attention to Sam except when they were plotting their raid on the building where they had found out that Jordan was being kept, and it was only now that Lyn really realized that. It was also only now that she realized how much she had missed him.
Sam pulled her into a standing position and crushed her against him. His hands slid up her sides and to her back, and he lingered there a moment before dropping his hands lower, to the hem of her shirt.
An electric current coursed through Lyn's chest, rather like it had the time Sam had answered the door with no shirt on, or when he had first kissed her. But this time it didn't make her freeze or pull away; in fact, it seemed to have the opposite effect. An actual magnetic force likely couldn't have brought them any closer as one of her hands trailed slowly across his back and the other grasped his shoulder, pulling him closer.
Sam slipped his hand under the hem of her shirt and ran his hands across Lyn's lower back. He pulled back and trailed kisses along her jaw to her ear and down to the hollow at the base of her throat.
Lyn shuddered slightly, letting out the faintest of gasps as she caught her fingers in Sam's hair. It was almost intoxicating, the sensation of his lips on her neck and his breath ghosting across her skin. It felt like ages since they had just put aside the havoc of life as hunters and spent a little time together, but at the moment Lyn really thought she could have remained there in his arms forever.
Sam smiled against her skin and moved back up to her lips, gently biting her lower lip before resting his forehead against hers and resting his hands on her hips. "Hi," he said quietly, smiling at her.
Smiling faintly, Lyn trailed a finger down the side of his face and gazed into those gorgeous eyes for a moment before answering in a whisper, "Hi."
God, she's beautiful… Sam was about to say something, but was interrupted by yelling just outside the door. Sam groaned and rolled his eyes.
Jordan flounced in a few seconds later, flicking her tail indignantly. "If you close your eyes, you won't know the difference!" she yelled at Dean after she jumped up on one of the beds and started to groom herself.
"No! It's weird and creepy… even for me." Dean walked in with a disgusted expression on his face. "We need to get her changed back. Soon."
"Right," Lyn said quickly, a hint of color rising to her cheekbones as she cleared her throat and went back to her computer. "I, uh… yeah… I was just about to… um… start looking… for that…"