Carmen
My fingers flew across the keys as I typed an email to my editor explaining the tardiness of my latest chapter. I was midway through an excuse that sounded strangely like "the dog ate my homework" when my instant messenger lit up with a ding and an orange window in my start bar.
Tibberon: Carma?
I let the instant messenger flash as I finished off my email and hit send.
Tibberon: Are you online? I need to talk to you.
Leaning back in my reclining office chair, I rested my hands on my ever enlarging pregnant belly and stared at my computer monitor.
Tibberon: Look, I SEE you. Why does it say you're online and you don't answer? Why won't anybody talk to me?
Words flew rapidly through my head as I came up with all sorts of things that I could say, but every time I put my fingers to the keyboard, I was plagued with the same writer's block that inflicted my latest novel.
Tibberon: Look, I know you've been really isolated since Win died, but I really need you. Or, I…Well, Bee needs you. So when you decide that you want to return to the world of the living people, your living FRIENDS, give me a call.
I spent every minute of every waking hour trying not to think about Win. If I didn't think about Win, then he wasn't really gone. If I didn't think about Win, then I could almost get away with pretending that I had never even known him.
After another minute of my inaction, another message popped up.
Tibberon: Or don't. Whatever.
My heart latched onto the human connection that I hadn't had in longer than I could remember, and I started typing without letting my brain really think about it.
Carmabella: Hi.
Tibberon: Sorry…I thought maybe if I was mean, you'd answer.
Carmabella: I don't really have a lot of time, Tibby. I'm really busy writing right now.
I wasn't really all that busy. I hadn't written a complete novel since I had lost Win four months earlier. My latest novel was greatly overdue to my editor, but writing always made me think of him, and it just got to be a lot at times.
Tibberon: Carma…
Carmabella: What?
I shook my head with impatience, bending down as best I could around my belly to grab the box of crackers from the floor next to my desk.
Tibberon: Bee has cancer.
The cracker that was halfway to my mouth slipped from my fingers and scattered across my desk. I was vaguely aware of the fact that my mouth was hanging open, but I found myself totally frozen.
Tibberon: Carmen?
I shook my head, struggling to clear the clutter in my brain enough to form a coherent response.
Carmabelle: I'm coming. To Bethesda. I'll be there tonight.
Clicking rapidly on the x in the upper right hand corner of the window, I signed out of the instant messenger program before Tibby had a chance to respond. I was going back to Bethesda.