...and this is where it goes it's own way, away from the movie... or not really... because I'm not creative...

Chapter 4: The magic nipple

Gintoki took the chance to retreat into his own brain, to have a little monologue. He had seen enough futuristic movies to know where this was going. He'd seen the movies where a time paradox occurs and all goes to shit, and then the main character ends up giving birth to himself and dying, and giving birth to himself and dying, and... huh. Wait, he was a guy. He can't give birth. Gintoki decided to stop thinking about it before it got disturbing... gender equality after all.

Giving the gravestone a solid pat, Gintoki heaved himself to his feet. Granny had left a while ago, leaving three fresh manju piled neatly on the small offering plate. It sat in front of the nicely shaped rock that bore his name, gazing temptingly at Gintoki.

Needless to say, he grabbed them all, stuffing one in his mouth, and the two that rested in both his pockets. Who knew when he would get to eat free food again in this apocalyptic world, where there would probably be lots of dangers and... and... and who was he kidding, he just wanted the free food.

"Where do I start..." Gintoki huffed, looking around. This graveyard he was not familiar with, but it was very large, clearly having been expanded a few times judging by how an uneasy rift separated certain gravestones from others surrounding the area -a sign that the graveyard gate had been adjusted again and again. It must have been a very old place, because there were so many graves too; either that, or lot's of people died in a very short span of time.

The gravestones already bore signs of being worn down by the weather. Gintoki hoped it was just a very old graveyard.

Armed with nothing but two trusty manjus at his side, he started to descend the stairs that led down the hill, to the city. Old idols decorated the sides of the stairs, which made him reminiscent to the days when amanto activity was thought to be all kinds of different gods giving signs.

By the time he reached the bottom, he had realized a few things. The reason he didn't feel the casual bump of his bokuto against his knee was because he didn't have it with him anymore. It must have dropped somewhere along the way, and was now across the cosmos exploring the universe... but that was just a hypothesis. Gintoki hoped it was having a better time than he was. The absence of his trusty wooden curry stick made him uneasy... what else would he use as a napkin when he finished the manjus? Oh gods save him, he didn't deserve this dilemma.

Gintoki also realized he should probably hide his face. He didn't know what he was getting into, and if someone recognized him despite him being dead, he might run into more trouble than he wanted to even fathom. Maybe he'd find something on sale, now that so little people are around...

Looking from afar, the city was the almost the same. It was a like a spot-the-difference puzzle; though there were many differences, in the end the basic structure was unchanged. There were a few different signs he didn't recognize, and certain buildings were a little higher or lower than usual (or not there at all), which only made the experience both disorientating and familiar.

Gintoki was about to exit the small path he was following, which on both sides was a small forest that hid him from sight, and enter the main street, when he sensed someone nearby.

"Um..." Gintoki said hesitantly, turning around to their direction, "Hello?"

The person was standing in the forest, the many trees blocking a direct view of them. They moved a bit, and Gintoki heard the jingle of metal clinking with metal, as the soft leaves on the ground crunched under their weight.

"Good weather we're having isn't it?" Gintoki tried cheerfully, an exaggerated smile plastered on his face. He hoped to strike a conversation to get some information, "You see, I'm having a rather rough day and I was hoping if we could have a chat?"

There was no response for a while. The person shifted their weight, making the leaves crunch again. The wind swept through the forest, causing the leaves on the trees to brush against each other and fall to the ground. It cooled Gintoki's skin, and made a leaf slap against his cheek to which he hastily brushed off.

"you might want this", a deep gravely voice resonated from the person. It seemed to echo slightly, a sense of power coursing along with the fluent tenor notes of the person's voice. Something fell to the ground with a crunch, disturbing the leaves on the ground where the person stood. Gintoki couldn't see what it was from where he stood on the path, but he heard more jingles as the person turned to walk away.

"Oi! Wait a minute!" Gintoki called, "Where are you going?"

The sound of the leaves crunching stopped for a moment, as if the person was considering whether or not to tell him. Gintoki let the pause linger patiently, expecting an answer before he realized that the person was already gone; their presence was no longer there. Gintoki scratched his head. They didn't even make any sounds.

Curiously, Gintoki wandered over to where the person was standing, stepping over fallen branches and avoiding mushy areas where the mud was thick. He found a small blue box laying on the ground, just the size of a jewelry boxes that held a wedding ring. Gintoki wasn't much of a fan for mushy romance, but he picked up the box anyways and opened it.

Inside, was a small, white note that had been folded a couple times. Underneath that note, was the grossest growth that Gintoki had ever seen. Three perfect little hairs stuck out of the small black knub that almost looked akin to the ugliest nipple on Earth -wait... was it pulsating? Gintoki read the note.

WANT TO CHANGE YOUR APPEARANCE BUT DON'T KNOW HOW?

WANT TO BECOME A DIFFERENT PERSON FOR A CHEAPER ALTERNATIVE THAN PLASTIC SURGERY?

THEN USE THE CHANGE-YO-FACE MOLE!

The change-yo-face mole does not change your face in any way. It simply makes your face unrecognizable, despite being your face being the exact same as yesterday and the day you were born. Even your family won't recognize you! Even your friends won't recognize you! Oh wait, if you're purchasing this product, do you even have friends? HahahaHAHAHA *COUGH* AHA *CHOKE* HAHAPPYHA.

BECOME A DIFFERENT PERSON!

LIVE A BETTER LIFE TODAY!

Gintoki stopped reading the note. He neatly folded it and placed it back in the box. Questions ran through his head.

What had really happened with that old fart? Did he really get transported to the future, where he died? What the heck is this mole -no, this #!$? Who was that person who so generously gave him this #!$? Why did he deserve this #!$? Where did this #!$ even come from?

Ah, so many questions, not many answers.

Gintoki stuck it on his forehead.