THE - IN - BETWEEN

Dear Roy,

I can't begin to explain how leaving the military has changed my life, and how I see the world. For so long I've been stuck in a kind of survival mode, simply reacting to everything that happened around us, and now I feel freer than I ever have. It would be a lie to say I don't have any regrets about the years I spent by your side. I have many, but none to do with how I feel about you.

I try not to dwell on my mistakes, as they are not welcome here. Though, sometimes at night, when all I can see is a sky full of stars, the regrets sneak in. It's a rabbit hole I can't seem to completely avoid. I regret allowing my father to take advantage of me, and I regret thinking it would be safe to share the dangers of flame alchemy with anyone. Please don't think this means I blame you for the war that destroyed this region. That train left the station long before you or I ever put on a uniform. But, yes, I do wonder how things would have been if I'd never showed you my father's research.

Ishval is a starkly beautiful place, and despite the initial rejection of my presence here, I finally feel a sense of stability. The people have taught me much about what survival means, and shown me that it's not simply living as best one can in the self-contained box of day-by-day existence. I've seen how a family should be, Roy, and I crave such closeness. What we shared together has only left me wanting more. Something honest, and open. And never secret.

I can't return to Central City, but I don't know how long I will stay here. My heart isn't in the politics anymore. I received a letter from Winry Elric last month, and I may take a train to spend some time in the countryside.

I don't know where my road ends, but I am eager to start moving forward again. I truly hope you have found peace, as well. Perhaps, one day, we'll meet again. I don't think I could ever love someone as completely as I have loved, and been loved by you.

Forever yours,

Riza

Dear Roy,

Resembool is as beautiful as I remember it. Winry and Edward have been incredibly gracious in welcoming me to their home. There is something amazing to be said about a quiet life away from the wreckage of one's past.

The rebuilding of the town here has, once again, shown me that broken things need not stay broken. Perhaps they'll never be as they were, but they can be better. I want to start over, make a home, plant things, and watch them grow.

I miss you.

Forever yours,

Riza

E

1 9 2 0

Havoc's General Store was little more than a simple stucco structure in the East. Roy, out of habit, reached up to smooth his collar only to remember he didn't have one. Instead he ran his hand down the front of his jacket nervously.

"Are you going to come inside or just stare at the sign all night?" Jean Havoc appeared on the covered porch with the ever-present cigarette hanging from his mouth.

"Hey, Havoc. I'm just… adjusting." Roy's face was set in an awkward grin.

"Do I still have to call you General?"

"I'd rather you didn't, to be honest."

Havoc put his cigarette out in the bucket of sand by the door, which was likely an attempt by his mother to stop the random placement of butts around the store.

"Well, come on then, Roy, and get inside. It's already dark and I'm starving."

Roy followed his former compatriot into the modest building, and his stomach growled at the aromas emanating from a hidden kitchen. The Havoc family's home and store appeared much smaller from the outside.

Jean smirked at the sound. "Train food no good, huh? Don't worry, Caroline is an excellent chef. She owns the café in town, and I think I'm in love."

The scene in the kitchen made Roy's chest ache with loneliness. Havoc's parents were arguing over sections of newspaper, Caroline was stirring a large pot of something, and laughing at the older couple's half-serious swipes at one another. Her eyes lit up when Jean entered the room, and she smiled shyly at Roy.

"Hey, babe, five more minutes and we can eat. Who's your friend?" Havoc's arm snaked around her waist, and he planted a quick kiss on her cheek.

"Oh, just an old military buddy. Roy, this is my girl, Caroline."

The woman wiped her hand on a dishrag and extended it to him. "It's lovely to meet you, Roy. Have a seat if you're hungry!"

Dinner was, as promised, delicious. Havoc's parents retired to their rooms upstairs shortly after, and Roy sat alone at the cleared table while Jean said goodbye to Caroline. It had been a long time since he'd been at a dinner table or eaten in a kitchen as opposed to a mess hall. The experience left him both warmed, and emptied. As much as he would enjoy spending time with his friend, it was Riza his heart cried out for.

Jean poked his head into the kitchen. "Hey, come with me out back. Ma gets really cranky when I smoke inside."

The back porch held several chairs and had a peaceful view of the watering hole the Havoc's neighbors used to hydrate their livestock. Jean's lighter clicking and bringing the cigarette to life was the only sound in the night, save the crickets.

"So." Jean broke the silence.

"So."

"I never thought I'd see the day when you retired."

Roy looked down at his hands, suddenly wishing he were a smoker, too. "I can't do it without her, Jean. I tried. They even promoted me, and for two years I just spun my wheels." He leaned back in his chair and stared into the darkness. "And you know what? After everything that happened on the Promised Day, it wasn't even me who set things right. People don't need a Fuhrer telling them how to do the right thing. They already know, and can do it themselves."

"Freedom is a funny thing. Once you step off the beaten path, you never know what you'll find."

"When did you become such a philosopher, Jean?" Roy side-eyed his old friend.

"I've always been this poetic! I'm just more of the silent type."

Roy snorted. "Sure." He wasn't used to simple conversation that didn't lead to procedure and paperwork. "All this time I thought my destiny was the path, and I've damn near ruined myself trying to stay on it. But I think..." he paused and looked up at the stars that were so much more numerous and visible than in the city. "I think my destiny is less of a path and more of a-"

"Person?" Havoc grinned at Roy's silence.

"What if she's found someone else? It's been so long-"

"You're a dumbass. Riza loves you, and couldn't let go even if you hadn't finally seen sense and left the military. Besides, if she'd met someone new, she'd have told me."

Roy's head whipped to the side. "You talk to her?" He couldn't hide his surprise.

"Sure do. She tells me all kinds of stuff. Her job at the new library in Resembool seems to suit her. Lots of books, and the kids down there love her."

He didn't know how to respond. Roy had no idea what she'd been doing with her life since the last letter she'd sent when arriving in Resembool. It irritated him that Havoc knew more about her than he did.

"She's always afraid to ask the questions she really wants the answers to, though. So I just tell her."

"You tell her what exactly?"

"That you're a hard headed son of a bitch, and one day, when you pull your head out of your ass, you'll-"

"Thanks, Jean. I appreciate the kind word," Roy muttered.

"I only speak the truth, and look! Here you are! Head free of ass." Havoc snubbed his cigarette in another conveniently placed bucket of sand. "There's a train that leaves every morning for Resembool. You can stay as long as you want, but it won't get any easier, my friend."

Roy sat out on the Havoc family's back porch mulling his thoughts well into the night. It wasn't until the mosquitoes began to overwhelm him, that he made his way back through the house. A lamp had been left burning in a tiny guest room on the bottom floor. He fell into the freshly made bed, fully clothed, and despite his best efforts, didn't sleep at all.

The library where Riza supposedly worked wasn't large. In fact, it appeared to be not much more than a storefront. However, there was evidence of its expansion in the half-constructed addition behind it. Roy took several deep breaths in an attempt to calm his nerves, before chastising himself for being a coward, and walking through the door.

A young woman sat at the front desk, and she smiled at him as he approached.

"Can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Miss Riza Hawkeye. Does she still work here?" Roy hadn't intended for his voice to sound so pathetic, as if he were a small child searching for a beloved lost puppy.

"She does! But I'm afraid she isn't in today."

Roy's face fell. He'd never anticipated not finding her here. "Oh. Well, thank you for your help."

"Anytime, sir. Is there something I can assist you with instead?"

"No, no I don't think so. Thanks, anyway."

He turned, walked out of the small building, and glanced up and down the street. Resembool had grown quite a bit since his last visit, and he had no idea where anything was located. He needed to find an inn.

"Colonel?!" a young woman's astonished voice called to him. "Colonel Mustang?"

Roy found himself face to face with Winry Elric. "Well, it's not Colonel anymore. Or anything really, I'm retired."

"Oh, wow! I had no idea! What are you doing this far southeast? Where are you staying? You must have dinner with Ed and I. We insist." Before Roy could get a word in edgewise, he found himself being tugged down the street.

"Well, I-"

"Nonsense! We'd love to catch up! Is Riza expecting you?"

Roy was silent. He didn't know how to answer her. It was becoming all too clear how poorly planned out this trip had been.

Winry stopped and whirled around to face him. "She doesn't know you're here, does she?"

He felt his face warm, and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"You two are the worst, you know that?" Winry linked her arm through his and lead him through town. "Listen, I know you're probably sick of people telling you what to do, being in the military so long and all, but you're really an idiot and need to talk to her."

"Yes, so I've been told. My idiocy is pretty much the general consensus."

The activity of town faded away into slow moving countryside as Winry escorted him… home? He wasn't sure, but he did know he was terrified to ask. Roy had seen Winry chuck more than one wrench at Fullmetal, and she'd already given him the eye and called him an idiot. He felt it best to simply go along, and not ask too many questions.

His heart started to race as they approached the Rockbell-Elric home. It hadn't changed much, but clearly Fullmetal had been busy. The house sported a new roof, and an addition off to the side. Roy's feet seemed to be planted in the road, and he couldn't take one more step. Winry turned to him and smiled softly.

"She'll be happy to see you. I promise. Besides, it's too late to chicken out now."

Somehow, he managed to put one foot in front of the other. Roy was not prepared for what he found inside the house. Not at all.

Riza sat on the floor with a tiny Fullmetal look-a-like. He was curled in her lap as she read to him from a children's book. His chubby finger had a strand of her hair wrapped around it, and one thumb stuck in his mouth sleepily. She seemed completely at home, and had an aura about her that was new to him.

"Look who I found wandering the streets in town!" Winry broke into his stupor, and Riza finally looked up. She blinked several times before carefully disengaging from the drowsy toddler. Mini-Fullmetal clung to his mother's leg, and she scooped him up. "Come on, little guy. Let's give these two some space. Want a cookie?"

Roy watched Riza's eyes follow the pair from the room. When she finally met his gaze, he could see tears threatening to spill over. Books could be filled with the things he wanted to say to her, and yet all he could do was stare in silence. He reached out and touched her hair that almost reached her waist.

"I think I like it long," Roy whispered. Winry and Havoc were right. He was a dumbass.

"Oh, Roy," her laugh was choked by tears, but he couldn't see them because she'd wrapped her arms around him, and pressed her face into his chest. "I never went anywhere you couldn't follow."

"Thank you for waiting."

She sniffled and smiled up at him. "You've always been a slow learner, but I love you anyway."

He wiped the tears from her cheeks, and brought his lips to hers. He didn't need anything else, but this. They were no longer a pile of broken pieces, but a new, and stronger whole.

Author's Note: We've come to the end of the road, and I'm both sad and happy. Sad because I haven't enjoyed writing any other fic more than this one, and happy because I've never finished a multi-chaptered fic before in the history of the known universe. Usually I delete them after six months out of shame. In my moments of grandeur I tell myself I'll add drabbles in this universe, but I'm a known delusionary.

Thank you to everyone who's read, and reviewed. I truly appreciate it.