Come Back to Me
Chapter Four
Zebraboymom
Disclaimer: Not mine. My mother taught me whining won't get me anything.
Author Notes: A day together without questions and without accusations; a day where they are just Liv and Elliot. They've never had a day like that before.
Should he answer her? He had planned to give her the silent treatment until she got sick of it and left, but the way she looked in those shorts and the way the sun had been in her hair just now was causing him to have second thoughts. He could spend a few days with her as long as they stayed away from the subject he could not talk about. He had missed her like air and the idea that she would walk away and maybe never come back made his chest feel heavy with dread. Being alone again would be the final straw.
"What else have I had to do for nine months?"
'Who are you and where is the no nonsense detective I used to work with?"
He decided to go with honesty.
"He's gone. His work ate him alive. He's been replaced by a Bohemian."
"Ah, El, the artist formerly known as Elliot."
He chuckled. She loved to hear him laugh.
"Something like that."
Olivia saw the opening and started to take it.
"El…"
She stopped herself when she realized that she still needed to earn his trust. If she plunged right back in again, she was sure he would shut her out like the other night and he might physically throw her out of his house this time. The bookshelf in the sunroom had a shelf of albums. She decided to take another route.
"Do you remember when Kathleen got arrested?"
"Of course I do. It was one of the worst times of my life."
"Do you remember what I said when you came out of court?"
"Not exactly."
Liv crossed to the shelf and pulled out the album and brought it over to the counter stepping on his side, just barely brushing his shoulder. She flipped through until she came to the picture of him in his carrot costume.
"Your mom showed me this."
Elliot found himself overwhelmed with her standing so close. Her head was bent over the album and a few loose strands slipped forward out of the rubber band and covered the side of her face. She swept them behind her ear and he tried to focus on the picture and not the delicate curve of her neck.
"You came out here to the beach to talk to my mom?"
"I did. We met in the malt shop on the boardwalk."
"You convinced my mom to help her didn't you? I knew it."
Elliot's throat became tight and he felt the tears welling up in his eyes. For a man that stayed away from deep emotions most of the time, he had been crying a lot lately.
At the tone in Elliot's voice, Olivia rose up and looked into his eyes. He looked away quickly and she gave him a chance to pull himself together.
"She was your daughter El. I had to try to do something."
"You never could stay out of my family's life could you? All through the years you were there: making sure the kids didn't miss my birthday, convincing Kathy to stay, helping bring Eli into the world, helping with Kathleen and my mom. You always had my back Benson. I never told you thanks. I'm sorry. You deserved at least that."
"Hell, yeah I did. That's why I'm here."
Se could feel Elliot tense up as if he knew what she was going to say next.
"But that can wait. Tell me about the bonfire."
"On one condition."
"Which is?"
"We don't talk about "things"."
Olivia thought it over and nodded. This was exactly what they needed to get back on track. She agreed.
"Right. We call a truce and a moratorium on the past. We spend the rest of today and tomorrow just being best friends again. I can't even remember what that felt like."
Elliot closed the album and bumped her shoulder.
"Grab your purse and we can have lunch at the malt shop, my treat. Then we can shop on the boardwalk and you can buy some of those really lame tourist souvenirs for Munch and Fin."
Liv gave him the most brilliant smile she had and skidded off down the hall. She was back in less than a minute with a small purse that had a long strap on it slung across her chest from one shoulder.
"Lead the way, Bohemian Man."
"Name calling will get you in trouble Benson. Let's go."
As they headed out onto the beach, Elliot felt lighter than he had in so many months. A day with his best friend was what he needed more than anything. They walked along the water and he enjoyed Liv's reactions. She bent to look at every shell, rock and bit of glass the passed. He grinned as she behaved like a small child each time she found a treasure. Her pockets were soon filled with broken shells and "beautiful" pebbles washed smooth by the ocean and the sand. He rolled his eyes when she tried to stuff a huge shell in her back pocket.
"You keep that up and you'll need an extra suitcase to bring back home."
"Leave me alone Elliot. I haven't been to the beach since I was about nineteen, just let me enjoy it, okay?"
She shoved him playfully and he grabbed her around the waist and ran down the beach with her. Liv was instantly in sensory overload. Elliot had never touched her like that in all their years together.
"Elliot put me down."
"No. I'm starving and at this rate we'll be having dinner instead of lunch."
She laughed out loud then and wriggled against him. His mood from yesterday had definitely lifted and she just wanted to enjoy this moment with him at ease for the first time in the last five years. He stopped and let her slide down his body, but he kept his hands firmly wrapped around her waist. Liv turned in his arms, looked up into his face and thought how handsome he looked like this in boardshorts and a t-shirt, browned from being on the beach every day. She felt overwhelmed again and hoped he didn't feel her trembling.
"Okay, release me and I will pick up the pace."
"Promise?"
He reluctantly let her go and took a step back. She took a couple of steps away before she spoke in a teasing tone.
"Yeah, just as soon as I Iook at this last shell."
She pretended to peer down at something and he grabbed her again and turned towards the boardwalk, tickling her as he went. By the time he reached the stairs she was out of breath from laughing. This was an Elliot she hadn't been with in years. She hoped he stayed and the man from the other night didn't come back.
Even though it was midweek, the boardwalk was crowded with vacationers and wonderful smells were coming from all around them. They finally made it to the malt shop and settled into one of the booths to look at the menu. Each of them pretended to study it while they stole glances at the other one. A very cute, very young waitress approached them smiling from ear to ear at Elliot.
"Hey Elliot, who's your friend?"
"Hey Jacey. This is Olivia Benson, my partner."
The young woman pretended to be pleasant, but she could tell the girl was assessing her as a threat.
"Oh, you live in New York."
"Yeah, I'm just taking some time off with El."
"How long were you two partners?"
Elliot smiled affectionately at Liv.
"Forever."
"Almost thirteen years."
The two of them were momentarily lost in each other's eyes and Jacey saw the connection. She had hoped at some point Elliot would ask her out, but there was something going on between these two so she switched back into waitress mode.
"Wow! That's a long time. Are you guys ready to order?"
She couldn't get away fast enough from the love fest going on in the booth.
After she took their order, they sat and looked at each other. Finally Elliot broke the comfortable silence.
"So, are you going to tell me how everyone is back at the precinct or am I going to have to drag it out of you?"
"Ah, I see the interrogation skills haven't suffered much. Let's see. Melinda got a divorce and she and Fin have been seeing each other."
Elliot's eyebrows went up. He grinned at the thought of the two of them.
"I can definitely see that. Way to go Fin."
"Munch is back dating wife number two."
"The one he used to call the…"
"Yeah, that one. Cragen has been hinting he's going to retire this year."
Elliot's eyebrows went up.
"Really?"
"Yep. Says he wants to retire on his boat. I didn't even know he owned a boat."
"Any ideas who they're thinking about replacing him with?"
Liv got quiet and then locked her eyes with Elliot's.
"Me."
Elliot was taken aback for a minute, but it made perfect sense. Liv was the absolute best choice for that role. She knew SVU better than anyone else and Lord knows she had put in the hours, days and years to earn it. He smiled at her.
"That's great Liv, really great. Good thing I'm gone I guess. It will be better without my pain in the ass butt there messing things up for you."
"Doesn't matter, my new pain in the ass partner is a little Elliot clone in a lot of ways."
It hit him then full force. Of course Liv would have a new partner.
"Partner?"
Liv started to get angry with him. What did he think was going to happen when he left? Did he really think Cragen would leave his desk a shrine or something? She spoke without thinking.
"Yeah, after he made me clean out your desk and informed me that you wouldn't be coming back, he gave me a new partner. Now I know how you felt when I went to Oregon."
"What's his name?"
"Nick Amaro."
"Does he have your back?"
Olivia could tell he was feeling protective all of a sudden. She knew the physical signs when he got worried about her. He always got defensive. She had to try to defuse this.
"Yeah, he does. There's a new female detective too, Amanda Rollins, and he is super protective of her too. He punched out a perp in the park when the guy threw her to the ground and tried to rape her during a sting. It was pretty funny actually. It was like watching you and me. He ripped the guy off of her, beat him to a pulp and then she got in his face and yelled at him. It was classic you and me stuff."
Liv smiled at him to try and lighten the mood. She could tell he wanted more information on the guy, but she was going to make him ask.
"So, this Amaro, is he married?"
Liv tried not to smirk.
"Um, yeah, his wife is in Iraq and he has a little girl."
"Wow. That must be hard."
Liv watched as he relaxed in his seat. Was she right in thinking he might be jealous? No way. Just for a second, she wished Nick was single so she could use that information to try and get Elliot to admit some things. She turned the conversation back to their friends.
"Hey, biggest news yet. Both Alex and Casey are back in the D.A.'s office. I've had cases with both of them."
"How are they?"
"Casey's married to some jock. Figures. She always was a tomboy. He's like 6'4". They're cute together. Alex is a mystery these days. I don't know much about her personal life."
Elliot's eyes flitted around the room for the first time since they came in. She knew what that meant.
"So what about you Liv? Are you seeing anyone?"
She wanted to say yes. She wanted to tell him she was, but her life was as empty as his right now. He had been the only man in her life for so long. She couldn't even see herself with anyone else.
"You know me. Always married to the job."
Elliot's eyes finally landed on hers again.
"So I'm still the longest relationship you've had with a man?"
Liv laughed lightly at the phrase she had used so many years ago on the stoop outside his apartment after he signed the divorce papers.
"Yeah, I guess you are."
He responds to her without breaking his gaze.
"Good."