Chapter 4

With everything ready to go Amber walked over to where everyone was burying the dead. Stepping at the side of Daryl she watched as Andrea pulled her sister into a grave. She'd never been to a funeral before, even with all the death in her past. Glancing over to Rick and Lori she saw them supporting each other. They were a unit and nothing would separate them. Amber hadn't spoken to Lori since this morning but Rick had. Surprisingly, he'd apologised but she could tell he still had questions.

Everyone stood quietly as the rest were buried. Images started to flash through her mind. Decaying flesh, bodies piled on one another. A girl screaming and scrabbling through darkness. 'You broke your promise…' The young soldier's chest tightened as those words ripped through her mind, her blood running cold. She wanted to save that girl, to pull her from that dark and evil place.

Amber just kept on staring at the graves; there was something haunting about them. She couldn't understand why they were even bothering. Everyone was going to die eventually, they couldn't bury them all. She wanted them to get moving, the more time they wasted the more daylight was lost. More images flashed through her brain. A small body lying in her arms, blood coating her face. Amber's hands started to shake before she grabbed them, attempting to keep them still. Red appeared in her vision suddenly, causing her to blink a few times. It was a red cloth. Looking up to the owner of the cloth Amber stared at the redneck. Daryl lifted the cloth and gently moved it across her cheek. To her surprise when he pulled it away there was a wet smear on it. She moved her fingers to her face. It was wet. She hadn't cried in years.

Amber looked back at the cloth in Daryl's hand and gently took it. Her hands shook as she wiped her face clean. Peeking up at Daryl, he was still watching her. Warmness filled her cheeks as she stared into his eyes. Turning from him she ran from the scene.

Weaving through the camp Amber hid behind a truck, shoving her back against the front passenger seat wheel as she crumpled to the floor. 'You broke your promise…' The words stung every time she heard them. 'You said you'd protect her' the young soldier wrapped her arms around her legs as she brought her knees up. 'You broke your promise…' Lowering her head she let out a cry. 'You said you'd protect her…' Her chest tightened again. The tears wouldn't stop falling down her face. She hated those words. Those words haunted her. Something tightened in her brain. No, I wouldn't grieve! I'd avenge. I'd avenge her! She vowed.

Footsteps to her right caught her attention. Whipping her head up she found him standing there. Daryl gazed down at the broken soldier as she stared back wide eyed, her bottom lip quivering. She must have looked a mess to him with her tear streaked face. He moved nearer. She tightened her grip on her legs. As he knelt down she shifted her gaze to stare at the dirt under her boots.

No words were spoken at first. For some reason she found his closeness comforting. Amber let her eyes shut as she tried to clear her mind. She couldn't comprehend what was happening to her. She was showing weakness, she'd been trained to block these silly emotions. They didn't make an effective soldier. Rage swirled through her stiff and tired body. A light touch to her arm froze her on the spot. She lashed out at him, shoving Daryl as best as she could.

Storming off to her bike she heard him speak, "Stupid bitch". Using her arm she wiped the tears from her face. When she got to her bike she put her rifle back on her back and sat in the seat. Looking into the bike's mirror she inspected her raw face and that's exactly what it looked like, raw and puffy. She used the red cloth still in her hand to wipe the rest of her face clean. A few minutes on the open road and her face would pale again. Looking up to everyone getting into their vehicles and starting to head towards the highway, Amber pushed her bike forward once she'd started the engine. She was one of the last to leave the camp site.

Slowly she increased her speed and approached Shane's truck. As she passed she smiled at him. He grinned back, though it seemed to fade after a second. He must have noticed her reddened cheeks. She sped up some more and overtook Daryl's truck before pulling along Rick's car. Tilting the bike closer to the rear passenger side of the car, Amber looked to the side and noticed Carl move closer to the window. He smiled to her and she grinned back. Amber also noticed Lori glaring at her. After checking the road ahead, she looked back behind Rick's car, there was plenty of room to get to the other side. She slowed the bike and swooped around the back, noticing Carl moving to the seat on the other side. She winked to him as she passed and approached Rick's opened window. "Howdy sheriff!" she shouted to him over the bustling wind. He laughed at her before she increased her speed some more.

Approaching Dale's RV she saw Glenn leaning out the front window. He obviously wasn't paying attention and was staring into the distance. She again titled the bike and waited until she was just under him. Honking her horn three times she made the poor guy nearly jump out of his seat. Still laughing she sped up some more, hearing his angry yells behind her. The wind whipped around her face, it felt great against her skin. Her mousy brown bangs fluttered against the side of her head as her ponytail rippled behind her. This is what she'd have missed - being in a unit, even if she was still the outsider.

…..

They'd travelled for nearly an hour before she heard the RV's horn sound a few times behind her. Slowing to a stop and shifting in the seat, she watched to see what the commotion was about. Smoke billowed from the front of Dale's old RV. She planted her left foot firmly on the scorching highway ground and turned her bike around, causing a high pitch squeal as she did. Amber parked a few spaces in front of where the men were gathering around the RV.

She noticed Shane glance in her direction - concern still in his eyes - as she got off her bike. This looked like it was going to take a while so she leaned back against the body of the bike, crossing her ankles as she did. Apparently the radiator had blown by the sounds of the men talking. Folding her arms across her chest, she noticed Carl and Sophia peeking at her from behind the RV. Carol called her daughter back but Carl seemed to take the courage and walk towards her. The soldier warmly smiled at him as he approached.

"Hey kiddo, you doing okay?" she said as cheerfully as she could. She watched as the tension seemed to leave his shoulders.

"I'm good thanks… erm…." He paused, seeming to be unsure of how to continue.

"You got something to say, then say it kid. I ain't gonna bite you." she said a bit too bluntly. His cheeks seemed to redden slightly. Man, I should watch how I talk to him… don't want to give Lori another excuse to lecture me… she thought quickly.

"So you're a soldier? I mean my Dad always spoke about you, but… I still don't know you much." He spoke quietly. "How come you never visited us?" Amber couldn't help her eyebrows rising. She hadn't expected a question like that from the boy, or for him to say it that bluntly.

She thought about what he'd said. "Okay… how do I explain?" She knelt down to him and grabbed his hand in her own, giving him an apologetic look. "I was always working away. You see, my job meant I couldn't be around you, any of you. I had to make sure bad people didn't cause problems and hurt everyone I knew. If I was always around you guys then those bad people might have tried to hurt you. I couldn't and wouldn't allow that to happen. I never forgot about you Carl, or your dad and mom. I tried sending messages to you whenever I got the chance. But I guess things just worked out differently. I'm sorry I never told any of you why I couldn't see you. And, I'm sorry that I've been away for so long Carl. I wanted to visit you, all the time and see you growing up. I know you don't exactly know me but I'd like that to change… if that's alright with you?"

She could tell Carl listened to every word she'd said. Footsteps due her attention behind her, turning her head she noticed Rick standing a few feet away. The look on his face… he'd heard every word. Carl tugged her hands slightly. When she turned back she noticed he suddenly looked sad. Before she could ask what was wrong he spoke softly.

"Is that why you always look so sad? You smile and joke but your eyes always look sad… I'm sorry you were lonely." With that he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her neck, hugging his Aunt. "You're back now so you don't have to be lonely. You can stay with us all the time." She smiled as she wrapped her arms around the young boy.

"Hey, hey… come on kid," she pulled away from him. "You okay?" He grinned to her and nodded his head a few times.

"Come on Carl, you're mother wants you." Rick called to the two and Carl ran past him to wherever Lori was. Amber rose to my feet and smiled to Rick. He nodded before turning back to the group. They still needed their talk but it would happen when there was a spare moment.

After a few minutes she watched as Shane and Rick took Jim and gently sit him down under a tree up hill. It appeared like he was finally losing the battle with the virus. Poor guy… she wondered how quick it'd be before he turned. Making her way up the hill with everyone else she'd only managed a few steps before Daryl appeared by her side. Turning her head towards him she glared,it felt like he'd pitied her back at the camp site. Amber hated pity, she hated how weak it made her feel. Once making sure he'd seen it she quickened her pace so she was a few feet in front of him. All she heard was a grunt coming from him.

After everyone had given Jim their goodbyes and tears Amber knelt down in front of him. She looked at him squarely, with no sympathy. She knew what was coming next for the dying man. She glanced to the ground before she looked off to the side. "You should've taken that gun off my brother. I've seen people turn – or die depending how you see it." She looked him in the eye. "I know you don't know me but I'm sorry Jim. I wish there was something that could be done. Are you sure this is what you want?" She looked to the side again. "If you asked me too, I'd end it for you, when the others go."

When she looked back at him he was simply smiling at her, the sun shining on his pale skin. "I want to be with my family. Like I said, you'll need the bullets more than me. Thank you though. Look after them for me." She could accept that. She smiled to him and placed her hand on his shoulder before she got up and left the dying man.

As everyone pulled away and travelled down the highway, she took one last look at the hilltop before pushing off herself. She stayed at the back alongside Daryl's truck, not wanting to see the solemn faces of the rest of the group. As they thought of Jim she turned her attention to the CDC and what could be awaiting them there. If military units were there then things would become complicated, especially if they recognised her. The soldier thought to herself that if she could hack into one of the computer systems when she was in there - that is if it's still operational - and find out the progress of the scientists. She didn't think she'd be trying to carry out an order when she'd left the military, but then again, stranger things had happened too.