Do you ever look back at a moment in time and realize what you had said wasn't what you had wanted. It was like someone took control of your vocal chords and said the opposite of what you had wanted to say?

That was Cry. He had wanted to tell Pewdie exactly what was going on. To explain that he wanted him to stay, he wanted so badly for him to stay by his side, never leave if he had his way. The moment he saw the hurt look in Pewdie's eyes he wanted to grab him in his arms and never let go. Fuck if it made his friend terribly awkward, he would even take Pewdie getting mad, pushing him away, punching him. Anything but that destroyed look in his blue eyes.

Yet instead, he spoke. He sat up in his bed, stood before his friend, and lied to him. Lied through his teeth, and spoke nothing but venom.

"I'm sorry Pewdie, I just… you should go home." What's worse, was Pewdie didn't even look mad, he just looked sad. Upset, heartbroken, anything but angry.

"But Cry, what did I do? I can sleep on the floor, I-I can get a hotel. Did I do something wrong?" Cry merely shook his head. He wanted to say that it wasn't Pewdie at all but himself. He was being stupid, and Pewdie was having to take the blame for his own stupidity.

"I… We can't be friends anymore." Cry looked to the floor, his eyes getting hazy through tears that he refused to shed. If Pewdie saw any sort of regret in his face this farce would fall apart. It would be better for both of them, at least that is what he was telling himself. If Pewdie went home Cry could get over him. Right? Pewdie could go on being the carefree, fun guy he always was, without having to worry about Cry messing things up.

As he lifted his head once more, Pewdie was gone. He could hear him shuffling around in the other room, but what he was doing, Cry dare not look. He couldn't have been packing his things, as everything, including his suitcase was in Cry's room, where he now stood. Alone with nothing but his thoughts.

the days are past, our hearts were young,
we were never meant to be

Yet what was said yesterday could not have been changed. Couldn't be changed now. A whole day and night had passed. They had not spoken since Cry had told him to go home. When Cry had gone into the bathroom to get ready for bed, Pewdie had slipped in, packed his things, and taken his suitcase. Even though Cry had already told him to leave, his heart raced as he left the bathroom to find everything gone. He ran out from his room, only to find Pewdie sitting on the couch. Cry reached towards him opening his mouth to speak, yet nothing came out, and it was like he was frozen in place.

If Pewdie would have just turned around he felt as if he would have had the courage to tell him everything. But Pewdie had stayed rooted in place, not moving as if a statue. No matter how much Cry had mentally screamed at him to turn around, he kept still.

So there Cry lay, in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He had been awake ever since he heard the front door open, close, and the sound of a car, that he could only imagine was a taxi, drive away. Pewdie was gone. Gone for good. This wasn't a see you later. This was a goodbye. One he didn't even get the chance to say. He just let him leave, with nothing but silence on his end. He was a terrible friend. Ex friend. All he wanted to do was try to just be friends, and he had gone and fucked that up royally. Now they weren't even friends. Resting his forearm across his eyes, Cry groaned, cursing himself inwardly.

"This wasn't what was supposed to happen!" He slammed his fist downwards onto his bed, which didn't even make a satisfying slam. Just a mere squeak as the bedsprings gave way to his fist, and then sprung back.

"We were supposed to have a fun time while he was here. I was supposed to hold myself back, be the best friend ever, but no, I went and screwed it up because I couldn't control myself. I would have been better off just telling him." Cry sighed heavily, then sat up quickly. "I should have just told him. What is there to lose now? He already hates me…" Cry was up faster than a kid on Christmas Day, grabbing for his clothes, and nearly tripping over himself in the process. His shirt was backwards, but he really could have given a fuck at this point. As he raced from his room, he managed to grab his wallet and keys from the table before bolting for the door and out to his car.

"Pleaaaasssee let the flight to Sweden be a later one. Universe you owe me one!" He wasn't really sure if it did, but he was hoping with the way he just told it so, it thought so. Driving like a bat out of hell, except for that little bit where he could see the cop and therefore obeyed the speed limit to avoid a ticket. As he came upon the airport, he snagged a quick parking place in the parking garage and ran up the stairs, to hell with the slow elevators that were packed anyway, towards the terminals. It was only then that he realized that to actually get to the gate, he'd have to get through TSA. And to get through them… he needed a ticket.

"FUCK!" He yelled loudly, not minding the angry, and confused looks he got from various other patrons. Running up to the available ticket counter, because really, flights to Sweden weren't usually that swamped.

"Were there any flights to Sweden today?" The woman looked at him curiously before looking towards her computer, her gum smacking between her teeth.

"We have one flight and it leaves in 10 minutes. The next flight will be tomorrow at 10:30am, would you like-" Cry didn't even let her finish.

"No I need a ticket today. Right now, for the one in 10 minutes."

"Sir, you will not make it through checks in time, I assure you one day won't-"

"NOW!" Cry wasn't usually one to yell at people, people he barely knew, but this was a special occasion. And every extra minute he spent arguing with this woman, was one less minute he had to catch Pewdie before he left for Sweden again. Never to speak to him again.

The woman sighed, and typed a bit into her computer, before her terribly slow printer began to print his ticket. She had barely gotten it into her hand before Cry had grabbed it, and ran full speed towards TSA. He was bouncing on his feet as he waited in line, of course behind what had to have been the slowest people on earth. Had he not needed to hurry, things would be moving so fast, but no because he was in a hurry, OF COURSE everything slowed to a crawl.

He already had his shoes off, wallet and keys out by the time it was his turn. He all but bowled over the poor gentleman in front of him to get through security, and grabbed his shoes as he ran towards gate C2. Not minding the yelling TSA agent who told him to put on his shoes before he went running around the airport. He half ran, half hopped as he jammed his shoes on, the heels of his shoes under his heel, rather than behind him where they belonged. It was uncomfortable, but he had no choice.

Just one more time, I pray just more time,
that if only I could return to those days
I'd sacrifice everything that I have now,
just to feel the warmth of your smile again…

He hoped he wasn't too late, it was cutting short, and as he rounded terminal C, he saw a familiar blonde headed boy heading into the walkway to the plane.

"Pewdie! STOP!" He saw him look up, look around, but Cry couldn't catch his eye, there were people walking in front of him too much, and without that eye contact, Pewdie began walking again. Cry couldn't let him get on that plane! Finding the nearest set of benches he jumped on an empty seat, ignoring the protests of the woman at the desk. "PEWDIE!" This time, when he turned his head confusedly looking for who called out to him, he saw his friend standing a head taller than everyone else, waving his arms above his head.

Stepping out of the way of the crowd as they boarded, Pewdie watched as his friend hopped down from his chair, and make his way towards him.

"Cry, what are you doi-" Cry cut him off, clapping a hand over his mouth.

"Look, Pewdie, I'm sorry. I'm stupid, and that's why I told you to leave. Look, I like you, and not in that, he's my bro way. In the 'I kind of want to fuck him' way, and I thought it'd creep you out-"

"Cry…"

"So I thought I could just be friends with you. And I tried I really did, but you're fucking irresistable, and I hate you for that,"

Cry."

"but I really don't hate you at all, and I don't want you to leave, I just didn't know what to say and-"

"Cry!"

Cry stopped his rambling and looked up to Pewdie just in time to see the Swede smirk, before grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and pulling him towards him. It wasn't a graceful kiss, it wasn't even a painless kiss, but it was a kiss. One Cry had been dreaming of for forever it seemed. And here it was, initiated not by him this time, but Pewdie himself. Cry admitted it was a little strange to be kissing someone with whiskers, and stubble, but he could definately get used to it.

"Come back Pewdie. I know that I was stupid.. but.. don't leave yet. I'm sorry about all the stupid things I've said and.." Pewdie placed his hand over Cry's mouth this time, mimicking Cry's earlier actions.

"I won't worry about it, if you don't worry about it Cry."

"Deal."

we take a step and try to move on,

there is no turning back

DONE :D This story is now finished. (I MAY write a prologue but if I do, it'll be a while) I made a post on my tumblr about how sorry I was that this was taking so long and as soon as I made that post, I put on the song that inspired this entire story, and I was like…

"Fuck sleep I'm writing!" So I did :)
I may be tired for work, but it was worth it ^^

I hope you guys enjoyed the ride, as much as I enjoyed writing it ^-^

and now.. sleep…