I want you to love me like I love you. I want you to wind yourself around me and never let me go. I want you to merge your soul with mine, I want you to take me away from here and make me yours again. I want you to burn up the stars. I want the sun to engulf us; I want to watch the world perish in fire. I want to see the seas rising. I want to stand there with your hand in mine, superior. I want to see it all end, I want to see it all begin, I want to see it all.
I want anything but this.
Chris called again, Dom. Chris always calls, Dom. You never answer the phone, Dom. You never answer me, Dom. You never listen to me, Dom. Sometimes I wonder if you're really even there, Dom.
Chris wonders that too.
Chris says you're not there.
Chris makes me sad.
I remember when you made me happy. I remember it so well, Dom. I remember you smiling at me, I remember your eyes dancing and your teeth sparkling and your fingers twirling and your legs crossing and uncrossing and curling around me.
That makes me sad, too.
They're taking you away, Dom. I don't know who they are. I can't see them, I can't hear them, but I can feel them. You flicker and fade and die out and it terrifies me and I cry out for you and clutch at the air where you stood.
You always come back for me, though. Just like you always used to. I know you'll always stay with me-at least you always keep your promises.
Kicking and screaming. Biting, scratching, sobbing. Throat hoarse, but I keep going, keep pushing, keep breaking free. Freedom is mine. You remember that, Dom? Of course you remember that. I'm sure you won't tell me you remember, but I know you remember.
How could you forget? How could you lose these memories when even I have them drilled into my brain? Sprawled out across the piano in front of me, eyes closed, your expression serene, listening to the music emanating from beneath your bare skin. What a day that was.
This music I create now, this is not what you'd think. They tell me it's not music, they tell me to stop, but I'm still screaming for you. Hear me, Dom. Hear my music again. You always loved my music, you were always drawn to my music. You brought out the music in me, you made me see who I truly was. You squashed my fears and you urged me forwards and boosted me up, and I became brilliant. We were brilliant together. We soared above the clouds together, Dominic. Do you remember that too?
Have you lost yourself like I have? Are you feeling the same way I am? I'd hate for this to happen to you, Dom, and the thought of it kills me every day. I can't imagine you like this. You always were too strong for this, too happy for this. Even now, sat opposite me with your endlessly blank expression, I can tell you're probably smiling inside. Maybe you're tired. Maybe you've forgotten how to smile. But Dominic is always happy, and there's nothing that could possibly change that.
I can't even look at you without crying. I can feel their eyes on me, I can feel their hands on my body. My hair stand on end, my body cringing away from the air around me, because I can still feel ghostly digits clenching around my arms, and they're not the ones I'm looking for.
My thoughts are too scattered to form coherent words anymore. Can you understand what I'm telling you?