I have never found a fic so easy to write as this one, aside from maybe Hand of Sorrow and Prayer, and I'm really eager to get it out so that I can move onto the next one! Also, I've borrowed a couple of lines from the show, virtual mini-Castiel's to the people who spot them!!

(Never will I be welcomed
Amongst the heartless monsters you surround yourself with
Feeding off the pain and misfortune of others
A maniacal unit of sub-human parasites
Warped into a feeding frenzy with the smell of fresh blood

Raphael regards the task that he has been given, to wipe all memory of the existence of the people his brethren have killed from the rest of man kind. It is not a small task, certainly not an easy one and he has been given the pick of the garrisons to aid him. He find that he does not wish this, that he does not wish for the end of humanity to be at the hands of angel or of demon, that they should be allowed to meet their natural end, whether that be in peace or violence.

This makes Raphael's entire being ache, makes his grace tremble within him, because he believes that they have been alone too long, that his Father has truly forsaken them all, Angel, Man and Demon, all lost and alone. Raphael knows that he would feel less alone, less lonely, if he were to heal the blindness of his vessel, so that he could see as his brethren do once more. He does not wish that, either, much as Michael pushes and almost orders him to do so. It is isolating him though, and this gives him far too much time to think about what is happening, what his kind are doing and he knows that this task is one set to prevent that, set to lead Raphael away and distract him while Michael does whatever he thinks in necessary.

He welcomes the distraction, but he needs someone to remember, needs someone to mourn those people, not because it will ease his conscience any, he does not have one, but because it is the right thing to do and while Raphael has begun to question and feel the flutter of dreaded doubt on the edge of his awareness, he is still capable of discerning right from wrong and to simply forget about thousands of people, that is wrong. The archangel does not view as disobedience, as such, because that is not what it is, it is simply following the order to the best of his ability, and Michael was unreasonable to think that Raphael would be able to find a way to make the whole world forget it. The fact that he knows the exact group of people that he will allow to remember is neither here nor there, the fact that the group is all made up of hunters and their intimate associates is simply due to the fact that they will be the ones easiest to single out and shield.

It has nothing to do with disobeying.

He believes that if he keeps telling himself that, that if he keeps on seeing the beauty around him that his grace gifts him with, he will come to believe that it is the truth, that he is simply doing the right thing because this is what it is.

Raphael has one other task, one that he approaches somewhat more warily. It is one thing to leave every hunter in the world with the ability to remember the people that his brethren are killing without thought or concern, it is another entirely to run the risk of trying to complete this task when the object of it is protected by three such people and all of them armed with weapons capable of killing his kind. Capable of killing his kind and more than likely they are more than willing to kill him if they believe it will prevent more humans dying.

He should take someone with him, he knows this, knows that Castiel's current location is one that is more dangerous than he or the Winchesters can possibly suspect, a place crawling with hunters and run by a woman who will protect her own no matter the cost, a woman who has the respect and trust of enough hunters that they will defend her if they feel she is threatened. He cannot let that prevent him from obeying his orders and the air hardly moves as he feels his consciousness and the borrowed physical form shift in space and slightly in time, crossing the vast distance almost instantaneously to the human eye, even though to an angel such a journey seems to take longer, time moving differently for them than it does for the mortals, in a manner similar to the time in Hell.

He regards the jumble of buildings and the feel of the souls within, taking a moment to let the despair of many of the ones gathered wash over him in a wave of something that is foreign, distant, touching him even though he does not feel it. It intrigues him, makes him wonder if this is why Castiel chose to remain broken and alone, so that he can truly experience that which they are denied. There is not just sorrow in that place, however, there is happiness and love too, something that makes him question the wisdom of destroying mankind, if even hunters can feel such things with all the darkness that they see.

He could stand here, on this road, letting the wealth of emotion wash over him in the darkness that is not in his grace fuelled sight for hours. Could take them and twist them around in his mind and relax the barriers in his borrowed body so that they could truly touch him, so that he could experience the barest echo of them, except that he has a task to perform and an offer to make and it is something that he cannot do from the side of the road.

Archangels are fierce, he thinks as he gestures for the door to open. They are absolute. As if sensing the threat that he is, the unnatural thing in their natural world, those gathered in the bar begin to rush at him, falling at his feet as he touches them and over whelms them, renders them unconscious so that he can complete the task set upon him. Watching he way that Dean moves in front of Castiel, however, the expression on his face that seems to be one of anger and defiance and utter stubbornness, he has to wonder when Dean, the righteous man, became more terrifying than even an archangel. There is the glitter of silver in his hand, and if Dean could kill Lucifer while he possessed the body of one of the hunter's friends, Raphael knows that he would not hesitate to destroy an archangel he neither knows nor cares for if he is protecting his friend and his brother.

He spreads his hands, knowing that among humans this would symbolise that he carries no weapon, except that his hands are weapons and all here know that. The woman has a shotgun pointed at him and he knows that it cannot hurt him, but the inconvenience of having to fix the injury that it would cause to his vessel rankles, makes him twitch his hand and watch dispassionately as the shotgun narrowly misses Sam Winchester's head on it's way to the floor in front of the bar. He hears Dean growl out his name, hears the barely disguised hostility and wonders if this is the day that he will need to heed Michael's advise about the man.

The attention of the archangel then turns on Castiel fully, sightless eyes meeting blue and his presence a command, a command to tell them to stand down and the lower angel looks away, mutters the name of his former charge in a voice low and earnest, moves forward to stand before Raphael, back straight and head held high and he knows, before his younger brother speaks, before the offer is even made again, that it will be refused.

SPN

Castiel does not have the chance to warn the others of the sudden influence of Raphael's presence, the essence of an archangel filling the air, like the other wants him to know of his arrival, as the door is blown open and hunters are felled. His instant conclusion is that Raphael has been sent to kill him, to destroy him for refusing Michael's offer and because his knowledge of angels is dangerous.

He regrets, now, that he remained in this place with Cassidy and her family when she offered him a place to stay until Sam and Dean came for him, was alarmed that she even knew who he was until she told him that Bobby had told her to keep an eye out for him, that she owed him a favour, one that remains unspecified, and she has a reputation to uphold, one as a reliable source and friend to hunters. He does not know how much of that he is willing to believe, was fully prepared to leave the next day if there was no sign of his friends, and was unbelievably relieved when they walked through the door, though he can sense Dean's displeasure, feel it in the way that the man holds himself, see it in his green eyes even as he saw the relief there too.

Now it is all undone, Raphael is here, his entire presence a command and Castiel knows that it is time that he stop hiding behind the Winchesters, that this is his lot now and he has to start defending himself, has to learn to be as Dean is, as Sam is, to stand on his own two feet and admit no weakness, his time wandering alone has taught him that. He steps forward and though inside he is terrified, he straightens, hears Dean's surprised murmur behind him and wants to tell him that he is alright, that he knows what he is doing, but does not.

"I am not here to cause harm," Raphael's voice is flat, toneless, "I am come only to return you to the arms of your brethren. Let me heal you, Little One," the last is said with an air of desperation and even though Castiel knows that the offer is genuine, that the archangel does, truly, want to help him, to heal him of all the ills done to him by his people, he cannot return to them, not knowing what he does, not with all of his experiences, and he tells him this.

He tells Raphael that he has felt too much, seen too much, been shown far too much in the way of human kindness to return to the sterile, perfect, world of the angels. That this is where he belongs now, that he is what they have made him into and he will not mourn the loss of his place in their reality when they cannot see the true wonder that their Father created here, even with the pain and the lies and the fear that they suffer from each day.

It seems that Raphael understands, or if it is not understanding, it is acceptance, because he nods and is gone, simply vanished and that is surprising to Castiel, because he did not expect the other to leave so easily, thought that there would be threats and repercussions from his refusal. There is a feeling of almost triumph when he turns back to Sam and Dean, pride that he finally stood his own ground without giving in to the fear and anger that threatens to overwhelm him each time he sees one of his own kind.

That feeling vanishes abruptly when he sees Cassidy gesture to the hunters Raphael left standing, when he hears the sound of the doors closing and bolts slamming into place. His heart sinks when he sees Daniel pull a gun from the back of his jeans, his face hard with distrust and anger, hearing the click of a dozen safety catches being released as Sam and Dean reach for their own concealed guns even knowing that they are hopelessly out numbered.

"I believe, gentlemen, we need to have a bit of a chat."


Open your eyes and see the creatures for what they are
A swirling mess of hatred and envy
Don't be naive enough to think you're unaffected
The conversion has already begun...)

Reviews are little Castiels that fly above our heads and mini Deans under the bed. A small Sam in hand and a tiny John by the chair, a review that can show how much you care.

Artemis